Very bad accident involving C-Train downtown

[Northendzone]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Is it really that much more impactful, once you have your own kids, to read/hear stories like this? What was it like the first time you heard a tragic story about a child having just recently become a parent?

i think it is more impactful because of a child's innocence - they just want to play and have fun they don't realise that the world is full of danger.

i write this as i watch my 5 yr old daughter dancing in the living room wearing a princess gown. i could not imagine suddenly not having the chance to watch her grow up to see what kind of woman she will be.

my heart goes out to this family and anyone who saw this tragedy - it is a horribly unfair situation.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Tragic news... just brutal..

I was at centre st station at the time. I had just missed the last somerset train and was waiting for the next one. At around 12:06 it was announced over the speaker system that everyone would have to move to olympic plaza station to catch the train SW. After that a plethora of cop cars and ambulances went screaming every which way.

A guy who got off a City Center bound train asked allowed why he had to get off here and someone told him the trains were shut down downtown.. he laughed and said "again!!".. the guy then said " a kid died, just relax". I felt a little dickish then too as I was getting annoyed waiting.

A tragic accident that seems exactly like just that... an accident. My heart goes out to the young boy, his parents and his grandfather. Kids are unpredictable and take off unannounced all the time... unfortunately this time it was tragic. Also I hope the operator is doing okay... this has got to be a heavy weight for him to carry.

[FlamesAddiction]

Stuff like this makes me terrified to ever have children. I don't blame the mother and I am sure she has a lifetime of hellish despair coming her way.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by peter12

Is it? It's a massive thing of metal moving at about 70 km/h. One touch of that thing and you are dead. I stand back too.

I honestly have no idea how some people step near the yellow "don't stand here jackass area".

Maybe it's just because I'm a tall guy, but I'm deathly afraid of even being hit by those massive rear view mirrors on the side, I'm shocked no one has been smacked by one of those and died.

[psicodude]

Originally Posted by V

When you read or hear the story you don't picture a stranger. You picture your own kid in a mangled mess beside the train. At least I do. And there's no way I can read this story without thinking of my kid in the place of the other kid.

And then you can't help but see yourself in the place of the mother.

This is exactly what went through my mind as well.

Not only would the pain be unbearable for years, but my guess is that the lives of both of the parents would take a massive turn for the worse. The blame and guilt would probably tear the marriage apart. I know of a family that had their child molested by a grandfather, and it killed the marriage. I can't imagine what a death of a child would do.

I can say with all honesty that I would not have the strength to deal with this type of tragedy.

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

I honestly have no idea how some people step near the yellow "don't stand here jackass area".

Maybe it's just because I'm a tall guy, but I'm deathly afraid of even being hit by those massive rear view mirrors on the side, I'm shocked no one has been smacked by one of those and died.

Yeah you think of the number of people that get on and off the train everyday and how rare something like this happens. People do indeed stand behind the yellow line.

There are accidents at street level but I really can't recall someone falling off the platform here in Calgary (that wasn't pushed).

[Aeneas]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

I've noticed in this thread how many parents had acute reactions to this tragedy, detailing things like feeling they were punched in the gut, or cold chills, or the need to call home right away. While this situation is tragic and horrific, I suppose because I am not a parent I didn't get the same kind of intensity in my reaction.

Is it really that much more impactful, once you have your own kids, to read/hear stories like this? What was it like the first time you heard a tragic story about a child having just recently become a parent?

I will readily admit that I react much differently now that I have children.

I remember being mid 20's or younger, I always read the newspapers and watched the news daily. There would be stories of a child dying at a daycare or in some crib accident and I would think "how sad" but move on pretty quickly.

Now I have a 5 year old and a two year old. Yesterday's news hit me very hard. I was upset for hours. I hugged my daughter, kissed her. I thanked whoever that she was right next to me, happily working on crafts.

My grandparents/aunt had my little boy for the day. I called there to see how he was. I really would have preferred touching/looking at him. My dad said he was sleeping like an angel. I cried thinking about that family's tragedy, and what it would do to me were I in their shoes.

I will likely never forget this death yesterday, just like I will never forget the men who killed their children (and wives and housemate) the little girl killed on the school bus, the girl killed by falling debris, etc.

That terrible list goes on and on, and with each addition I look at my children and promise silently to love them with all my heart and be the best father that I can be.

I have changed for having children. Being more affected by this news is one way. The wonder and love that comes into your life is awesome. So is the terror that something could happen to them.

[driveway]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

Maybe it's just because I'm a tall guy, but I'm deathly afraid of even being hit by those massive rear view mirrors on the side, I'm shocked no one has been smacked by one of those and died.

I saw that happen once at University station back in the early 90's. The guy leaned out and, god knows how, looked the wrong way for the incoming train and took a mirror in the back of the head. Didn't kill him, but it looked like it came pretty close.

[Russic]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

I've noticed in this thread how many parents had acute reactions to this tragedy, detailing things like feeling they were punched in the gut, or cold chills, or the need to call home right away. While this situation is tragic and horrific, I suppose because I am not a parent I didn't get the same kind of intensity in my reaction.

Is it really that much more impactful, once you have your own kids, to read/hear stories like this? What was it like the first time you heard a tragic story about a child having just recently become a parent?

I think it's a valid question. I was the same as you last year ... tragedies like this would happen and you'd feel terrible but generally you'd move on. Kids do change you in drastic ways. Not everybody was right about everything though ... I was told I'd become pro-life and I didn't, but I definitely looked at life in a new way.

I was surprised at how much having a kid turned me into a giant wuss. Before I had my kid I was chatting with a guy at a wedding. He looked like a tough-ass. He had tattoos everywhere and looked like he may kill you with a tire iron if you looked at him the wrong way. When I told him my wife was pregnant he looked right at me and said "one of the worst days of my life was when I realized my little boy was too big to fall asleep on my chest".

To this day that remains one of the most "un-manly" yet truthful things I've ever heard. I totally understood once the kid came. It's like turning into the Hulk, only you're impacted by sad events and instead of becoming a muscle-bound behemoth you become a total pansy. I got choked up watching a commercial once. A commercial. When my buddy recently had a little boy I congratulated him on the house becoming 7 lbs. more manly. His reply was "I've been crying enough that I'd say the house is about 180 lbs. less manly".

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

I honestly have no idea how some people step near the yellow "don't stand here jackass area".

Maybe it's just because I'm a tall guy, but I'm deathly afraid of even being hit by those massive rear view mirrors on the side, I'm shocked no one has been smacked by one of those and died.

I hear you. After Flames games I'm constantly nervous standing near that line because I'm just not comfortable having a crowd of 20 drunk people behind me. Somebody decides to be a tough-guy and start a fight and suddenly that whole crowd could move. Scares the hell out of me.

[FlaminFeva]

I was 5 feet away from the kid and watched the whole thing happen. I'm mortified and can't close my eyes without seeing him trip and go headfirst over the yellow line. If hi head tripped a second earlier or a second later his head would have hit the side of the train and nothing major would have come of it. I'm a complete emotional mess right now as a result. Talking to people has definitely helped but all I can see is his face and then him tripping. So sad.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by FlaminFeva

I was 5 feet away from the kid and watched the whole thing happen. I'm mortified and can't close my eyes without seeing him trip and go headfirst over the yellow line. If hi head tripped a second earlier or a second later his head would have hit the side of the train and nothing major would have come of it. I'm a complete emotional mess right now as a result. Talking to people has definitely helped but all I can see is his face and then him tripping. So sad.

I would suggest that you seek some professional help in dealing with this.

There's no shame in doing that. Witnessing something like that is something the human brain is rarely rational enough to deal with.

Go talk to someone. Take care of yourself.

[Flash Walken]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

You need to seek some professional help in dealing with this.

There's no shame in doing that. Witnessing something like that is something the human brain is rarely rational enough to deal with.

Go talk to someone. Take care of yourself.

Couldn't agree more.

There is so much guilt involved in something like this, guilt that is misplaced and needs to be alleviated.

Absolutely no shame in seeing someone to talk about it.

[Russic]

The Calgary Police Victim Assistance Unit:

133 6 Avenue SE, Calgary, Alberta T2G 4Z1
403-206-8398

It is highly unlikely to impossible that this will go away fully without professional counseling. I'm truly sorry for what you witnessed, that is something nobody should ever see.

[puckluck]

Originally Posted by Russic

The Calgary Police Victim Assistance Unit:

133 6 Avenue SE, Calgary, Alberta T2G 4Z1
403-206-8398

All I'm going to say about that number is it's probably the most useless number you can use. I wouldn't even bother calling, but go see a doctor and they should be able to point you the right way.

[puckluck]

Originally Posted by FlaminFeva

I was 5 feet away from the kid and watched the whole thing happen. I'm mortified and can't close my eyes without seeing him trip and go headfirst over the yellow line. If hi head tripped a second earlier or a second later his head would have hit the side of the train and nothing major would have come of it. I'm a complete emotional mess right now as a result. Talking to people has definitely helped but all I can see is his face and then him tripping. So sad.

Sorry to hear man. With the right help, you will be able to overcome this.

[username]

A guy at my work was on the front car when it happened. He stepped out and said he thought he was in a horror movie with people screaming and crying. He also said that the sight of that poor boy being lodged upside down between the platform and the train is really messing with his head right now. I'm going to pass the information from this tread on to him.

He was also able to understand what the old man was saying (he's east Indian) and basically said the old guy was just delerious; which is obviously understandable.

[Flamesoholic]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

I've noticed in this thread how many parents had acute reactions to this tragedy, detailing things like feeling they were punched in the gut, or cold chills, or the need to call home right away. While this situation is tragic and horrific, I suppose because I am not a parent I didn't get the same kind of intensity in my reaction.

Is it really that much more impactful, once you have your own kids, to read/hear stories like this? What was it like the first time you heard a tragic story about a child having just recently become a parent?

I'm not a parent either and up until my niece was born 4 yrs ago I had the same reaction to tragic events that you have.
Now I'd have to put myself in the same emotional boat as the parents in this thread. I used to hear about accidents and think "geez that's tragic but these things happen" and carry on, but now the sorrow I feel for these complete strangers is undeniable. Yesterday I imagined how I'd feel if I was in the grandfather(?)'s place and I felt like I could pass out from just the thought.
Now when I hear about an accident involving a child, my thoughts go to how I'd manage if I had to live without my amazing little niece in my life. I can't even imagine the level of pain I'd feel if something happened to her or how much harder it would certainly be if I was a parent.

I think that when a child comes into a parent's (or in my case - Auntie's) life, most people experience emotion at such an incredibly new and deep level that they can't help but project some of that emotion at those facing tragedy. Maybe that's how humans tick on a primitive level. Adult to adult we feel some empathy for each other but only to certain degree. Once we experience the emotion that comes from having kids, maybe then we develop a greater capacity to empathize with strangers knowing we have that shared experience/emotion in common.

[GirlySports]

I walked by the station today and placed a teddy bear there.
I couldn't imagine seeing the incident, I walked by there while police were getting things under control that day.

There was just a cloud over downtown that afternoon. Walking around plus 15 hours later, everyone was talking about it and were just really affected by it.

[speede5]

Originally Posted by FlaminFeva

I was 5 feet away from the kid and watched the whole thing happen. I'm mortified and can't close my eyes without seeing him trip and go headfirst over the yellow line. If hi head tripped a second earlier or a second later his head would have hit the side of the train and nothing major would have come of it. I'm a complete emotional mess right now as a result. Talking to people has definitely helped but all I can see is his face and then him tripping. So sad.

Keep talking about it when appropriate, but don't obsess. It was traumatic and real, and you need to stay real. Try not to get caught up in the if's, you can't change the past. I have witnessed and been involved in a few incidents and the if's can really distract you. It's best if you get a chance to discuss it with others who were there, you will find a variety of levels of affectedness but you should find comfort that some others feel the same as you. It is sometimes hard to believe that until you hear it come out of the other persons mouth. Pay attention to your own behavior, if you are losing sleep, daydreaming/reliving, not paying attention while driving etc, then you may need to seek pro help. These things are normal in the short term, watch they don't become long term. It is perfectly normal to think about this a lot when it is fresh, with time you will think of it less and less, but there will always be reminders. It may be the next time you hear the train or a kids voice it will trigger the memories, this isn't bad. I witnessed a plane crash and there is a certain smell that puts me right back on the spot, and that was 7 years ago.

Try not to wear it on your sleeve either, you may hear things that are cold and make your blood boil, maybe a tasteless joke, or just an indifferent attitude, but remember everyone reacts different and some people are just ignorant. You won't change them by getting upset, freaking out, or giving them a lecture.

[frinkprof]

As a follow-up to some of the questions and possibilities regarding safety posed by this incident, here is an article from today's Calgary Sun by Michael Platt "Nothing is Perfectly Safe."

Facts are heartless when measured against tragedy, but the truth is, trying to fix this perceived LRT platform flaw is a waste of time and money.

A robotic barrier of plexiglass would cost millions to install at every station on the Calgary system, and there are no guarantees it wouldn’t pose new safety concerns of its own.

http://www.calgarysun.com/news/colum.../14601141.html