Is there such a thing as a lover that got away?

[The Yen Man]

Originally Posted by octothorp

Half joking, but my point is serious: you need to find a way to turn an unrequited relationship into something positive, and that's not always just making nice and wishing them the best. I'm not talking about emotional revenge on the other person; I'm talking about something that's emotionally going to help you feel a sense of closure. Personally, I think it's completely healthy and normal to use such a spurning as a motivator for self-improvement, whether it's "next time I meet someone, I'm going to be an even better person," or whether it's "so-and-so didn't see the potential in me, but I'll prove them wrong."

Hmm, I actually think this is very well said. What's wrong with being true to yourself and finding closure internally within yourself by thinking this way? Its not like shes going around telling the guy and his wife her feelings.

[flip]

Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz

How about:

Do you make judgements on the attractiveness of people?

Answers:

1) Yes, I'm breathing
2) No, I'm blind and have no sense of touch
3) No, but I actually do

How about: IF you met your former crush and he/she was married would it make you feel better or worse if they were with someone who you deemed less attractive than yourself?

Could be modified to have levels of anger/disappointment.

[Dion]

[quote=Bring_Back_Shantz;1413185][quote=Dion;1413159]

Okay so you admit that you do find people attractive to varying degrees based on physical appearance. That certainly isn't what you were implying (if not explictly stating) earlier. So if you are justified in making these sorts of distictions why is no one else?

Yes chemical attraction plays apart - as i stated in my last post. What i won't do is go around and call out someone as being fat and ugly like the OP did. I have yet to hear anyones definition of ugly.

All Girlysports did was state that she's better looking that the dude's wife. Now if she's making that statement implying that she's a better person then I'll agree that she's shallow, but if she's making it on an "All things being equal, and I'm better looking than this chick, then why here" I'll give her a pass with her "Chicks are crazy like that" card.

My impression what she said is that she thinks a better person.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by Dion

I would hope the gal i'm dating would have a little respect for her body

Whoa... Whoa... Whoa..... *beep* *beep* *beep*

Back the Crisco truck up.

You hope she has respect for her body, but the fact she's 300 lbs doesn't bother you?

[4X4]

Originally Posted by hulkrogan

Whoa... Whoa... Whoa..... *beep* *beep* *beep*

Back the Crisco truck up.

You hope she has respect for her body, but the fact she's 300 lbs doesn't bother you?

And there you have it. Good catch, hulk.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by hulkrogan

Whoa... Whoa... Whoa..... *beep* *beep* *beep*

Back the Crisco truck up.

You hope she has respect for her body, but the fact she's 300 lbs doesn't bother you?

What's with the Crisco comments?

Did i say a persons weight doesn't bother me?

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz

How about:

Do you make judgements on the attractiveness of people?

Answers:

1) Yes, I'm breathing
2) No, I'm blind and have no sense of touch
3) No, but I actually do

Nah, how about:

When you see some one shorter and maybe even heavier than you that you don't know, what do you think to yourself?

1) I'm better than him/her! He/she doesn't stand as high as me vertically and weighs more!

2) I think to myself, "he/she is fat/short".

3) I don't think anything.

[transplant99]

You hope she has respect for her body, but the fact she's 300 lbs doesn't bother you?

ENTIRELY depends on WHY she carries that much weight...does it not?

Also...Im wondering from those of you who claim to be "just being honest" in your replies....if/when you get married and you have a child or your wife gets an illness that puts some pounds on, or as you AGE and your wife begins to get heavy (almost inevitable to some degree) are you just going to cut bait and leave? I mean she certainly wont be as "attractive" as she once was, nor will you for that matter, at some point.

So what then?

Just curious.

[flip]

Originally Posted by Dion

My impression what she said is that she thinks a better person.

Wait you mean being better looking doesn't automatically make you a better person?

Seriously though I'm actually quite interested in the fact that you associated better looking with better person. I wonder how many people would also associate these two.

Anyone else ever heard of those test where they put a good looking person in a fat suit and have them try to get help for their car/dog/whatever and no one helps then they go out looking normal (beautiful) and like 20 people stop to help them.

The interesting part is that women were just as bad as men at not wanting to help the fat person.

[flip]

Originally Posted by transplant99

ENTIRELY depends on WHY she carries that much weight...does it not?

Also...Im wondering from those of you who claim to be "just being honest" in your replies....if/when you get married and you have a child or your wife gets an illness that puts some pounds on, or as you AGE and your wife begins to get heavy (almost inevitable to some degree) are you just going to cut bait and leave? I mean she certainly wont be as "attractive" as she once was, nor will you for that matter, at some point.

So what then?

Just curious.

Fat/ugly people generally find other fat/ugly people more attractive than a skinny person would so it is likely that as you age you will both look less good and as such both of your standards will decrease.

BTW i believe there is actual data to support this Im not just pulling this one out of my ass.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by flip

Wait you mean being better looking doesn't automatically make you a better person?

Seriously though I'm actually quite interested in the fact that you associated better looking with better person. I wonder how many people would also associate these two.

I have done nothing of the sort.

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by transplant99

ENTIRELY depends on WHY she carries that much weight...does it not?

Also...Im wondering from those of you who claim to be "just being honest" in your replies....if/when you get married and you have a child or your wife gets an illness that puts some pounds on, or as you AGE and your wife begins to get heavy (almost inevitable to some degree) are you just going to cut bait and leave? I mean she certainly wont be as "attractive" as she once was, nor will you for that matter, at some point.

So what then?

Just curious.

Honey, if you love me your calling Jenny Craig.

[flip]

Originally Posted by Dion

My impression what she said is that she thinks a better person.

Perhaps I misinterpreted then. What does the above statement mean? Are you not saying that you assumed that since the OP said she was better looking that she was also a better person? Judging from her OP she is obviously a little bitter but having never met the woman it would be tough to say that she knows she is better. She did say though that she knew she was prettier.

[Bagor]

Originally Posted by troutman

If spreading genes was the only priority, women would marry rich men, and get pregnant by handsome athletic studs.

We may be the first species to rise above our basest instincts.

This might hold in western society. Others, I wouldn't bet on it.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by Dion

What's with the Crisco comments?

What type of truck do you suppose I back up there? I don't find generic trucks as comedic.

Did i say a persons weight doesn't bother me?

You sure did.

Originally Posted by Dion

Believe what you want but i don't look at the opposite sex in terms of them being ugly or fat.

Maybe you could define what an ugly person is supposed to look like.

Then we have immature comments on this thread that say fatties need lovin too.

It makes no difference to me wether a person is fat or not. And it certainly doesn't factor in my descion when i choose to go out with someone from the opposite sex.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by flip

Perhaps I misinterpreted then. What does the above statement mean? Are you not saying that you assumed that since the OP said she was better looking that she was also a better person? Judging from her OP she is obviously a little bitter but having never met the woman it would be tough to say that she knows she is better. She did say though that she knew she was prettier.

When someone says they're better than THAT, plus the commets of her being short, fat, and ugly I'm not sure how else you could interpret the statement. I thought it was a shallow comment - especially the ugly part.

Be happy for the guy and that he has found someone he likes.

[Traditional_Ale]

I'm amazed how quickly a bunch of predominantly male internet geeks will jump so vehemently down the throat of the opposite sex in situations where emotional insensitivity is displayed.

It would seem to me that when the emotional insensitivity is coming from the male, we would be reading a thread about how he was eternally justified and high fives and beers all around.

[pope04]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Today I'm still upset about that. I'm not that beautiful but I know I'm better than THAT.

Perhaps his wife is incredibly, ahem, talented.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by transplant99

ENTIRELY depends on WHY she carries that much weight...does it not?

Also...Im wondering from those of you who claim to be "just being honest" in your replies....if/when you get married and you have a child or your wife gets an illness that puts some pounds on, or as you AGE and your wife begins to get heavy (almost inevitable to some degree) are you just going to cut bait and leave? I mean she certainly wont be as "attractive" as she once was, nor will you for that matter, at some point.

So what then?

Just curious.

I'd be happy to be proven wrong here, but I can't think of a common situation where someone should ever end up weight 300lbs with no control over it. I don't intend to let it happen to myself, I would hope the same for my wife. I will want to stay healthy for my family so that I don't need extra medical attention and face the possiblity of an early death, all serious considerations when you are 300lbs (especially if you are a woman).

I'm also not dumb enough to think that whoever I end up with will look the same until the day we die, which is why all of the other stuff is so very important as well. No matter how skinny you are, you probably won't look so hot in a 2 piece when you're 65.

It's also a fairly certain thing that a woman will put on a bit of weight as she ages and after child birth. You can carry a little extra and still be a healthy person.

[Dion]

[quote=hulkrogan;1413231]What type of truck do you suppose I back up there? I don't find generic trucks as comedic.[/qoute]

Just wanted to be sure.

You sure did.

Way to take a comment out of perspective. If you had asked from a health perspective i'd be concerned like anyone else.