A-Hole Things You Do Just to be an A-Hole

[vanisleflamesfan]

Originally Posted by lazypucker

If some d-bag behind me is zipping through the road and changing lanes left and right just to be faster, I will purposely get myself next to a slow car and try to box him in.

There is a name for this...

And my a-hole move is that when I go through one of those spinning turnstiles, I will pull the spinning part forward just an extra bit as I pass through so that the person following me usually gets (if he is right behind me - and this is usually the case with turnstiles at crowded events) the point of the turnstile in the junk.

I don't know why I do it. I guess I am just an a-hole.

[topfiverecords]

Originally Posted by vanisleflamesfan

There is a name for this...

And my a-hole move is that when I go through one of those spinning turnstiles, I will pull the spinning part forward just an extra bit as I pass through so that the person following me usually gets (if he is right behind me - and this is usually the case with turnstiles at crowded events) the point of the turnstile in the junk.

I don't know why I do it. I guess I am just an a-hole.

1. calgary road block

is a situation where you are Driving on the hwys around calgary and two mentally chalanged drivers are travelling side by side atleast 10km under the speed limit. Neather one is passin the other.
So I'm driving in my abulance down hwy#2 and these two pieces of pure panty waiste are creating a Calgary Road block. I have my lights flashing and my sirens blazing. Nothing, they just wont move. Outa nowhere a RCMP comes wheeling around me and smashes that Calgary Road block right off the Highway.Justice served

Spelling. I try to spell many words incorrectly on the internet so as to annoy as many readers as possible.

[VO #23]

Thought of another good one. My roommates and I used to torture the poor guy who lived in the basement suite below us. We'd crank up the heat on hot days (he didn't have access to the thermostat) and then plug up all the vents. He used to tell us that it would be so hot in his room that he'd lie there hallucinating on his sheets (didn't realize we were the cause of it!).

We also used to use his motorbike helmet as a garbage can. haha

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by Table 5

Trying to correct the behaviour of an a-hole is one thing, but being a bigger a-hole by wanting to damage other people's property is another.

The world is full of morons who can't even figure out how to deal with pedestrians. They shouldn't even be allowed to drive. Their property isn't special.

[Mightyfire89]

I don't know if this qualifies as A-holish but I decided a few years ago I was no longer going to get out of people's way in the mall or big stores if they aren't paying attention. It's resulted in a few people getting shoulder checked and they always look at me like I'm an A-hole, so I'm not sure...

[vanisleflamesfan]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

Spelling. I try to spell many words incorrectly on the internet so as to annoy as many readers as possible.

Well I didn't write it.

[freedogger]

Originally Posted by Muffins

When I see a d-bag on the road weaving around people behind me i'll slow down to match the speed of the car beside me so he has nowhere to go. If a middle finger comes my way, I give them a thumbs up and a big smile.

I passed a guy doing this to me the other day on the left shoulder (there's always a way around). Then I slowed down in front of him to 10 below the limit and made sure he stayed behind me for the rest of my commute.

Didn't see him smiling very much.

[freedogger]

I take my e-bike which looks and sounds like a regular bike and go hunting lycra on the bike paths. I will tale them for quite a while and draft them. The good ones will try to pull away. I will stay right on them. After quite a while I will pass them pedalling backwards and fully upright trying to catch as much wind as possible.

And for the record, I slow down for dogs kids and congestion. Never had an incident or close call in five years...

There's a good thread here on my exploits. Scroll to "Almost got run over today"
http://bikecalgary.org/?q=node/2132

Here's a sample:
Alright, the title might be a little sensational for the actual story. As I was riding in to downtown on the MUP (just east of Edworthy Park), I was passed at great speed with very little warning.


My instinctive response, was to try and catch this speeding object and see if I could draft on the way in. It wasn't until I had accelerated from 30 to 48 km/h and realized this speeding object was still opening a gap that the logical part of my brain kicked in and told me that this was A) not possible for my legs keep up, and much more importantly B) this is insanely dangerous.


The speeding object was a mountain bike with two panniers, and was doing at least 55 km/h at 8:15 am. I am convinced there was a motor of some sort in this bike since the rider wasn't even trying to be aerodynamic in his posture.

I'm wondering if it is worth calling 311 to complain, or if I just inviting a ticket on myself (I was doing 30 in the first place). But my concern is what sort of mayhem this individual is going to cause in congested areas. For example I had to slow to almost a complete stop behind a small child just two minutes down the path to wait for oncoming cyclists to pass, what would this guy have done in this case?

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by troutman

I shot a man in Reno
Just to watch him die

troutman - I wouldn't recommend talking about shooting a man in a public forum.

You probably should contact a lawyer.



As for the OP, I like to be sarcastic on message boards, I'm a real bad a-hole

[malcolmk14]

Okay, I have one that is definitely a-holeish just for the sake of being an a-hole.

I went with a couple of friends for lunch to McDonald's in Lethbridge. It was the one in the Highlands area on the West side of the gorge, so if anyone is familiar with it it is (or was) a large wide-open parking lot with a school at one end and a Mac's convenience store at the other.

We ordered about 60 chicken nuggets between the four of us, so the McDonald's staff asked us to pull around back and wait in the little spot for our order.

While we were waiting, we saw three kids racing from the school across the parking lot, and it looked like they were heading for the Mac's. They were coming right for us, full speed ahead.

I asked my friend who was driving, "This is a Saturn, right? It has those dent resistant doors?"

It did.

So as the kids approached the car, I opened my rear passenger door and apparently didn't give one of the kids enough time to alter his path. It was timed so perfectly and was so spontaneous, we still all laugh about it to this day.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by Bootsy

I got to work early one morning and took a dump in the ladies bathroom and never flushed, wasn't a big office so there was only one stall in it. At the time there was just 4 women working there so it was quite funny watching them stare each other down trying to figure out which one of them did it.

We have a winner.

[Huntingwhale]

- Sometimes at work I will enter the washroom and someone will be in the stall making stool. There is a light switch right by the door. If he is still in the stall when I leave, sometimes I will turn off the light.

-I will purposely fart in a crowd of hot girls at the club in the middle of the dancefloor. Club farts are the worst, they always seem to disperse a crowd.

-I will pound the subwoofer in my car in front of the retirement home by my house while all the old people are outside with their walkers. Having it in a playground zone is even better as I slowly roll by with bass pumping...

-Sometimes at work, I will press all the buttons in the elevator before I get off. I work on the top floor which makes it even douchier.

-I will purposely go to the self-checkout at the supermarket with a cart full of food. It sometimes takes me over 10 minutes to ring everything in.

-When I see your children staring at me, I will make a scary angry face at them. The best is when they start crying and the parents get mad at them.

[dean]

when walking through crowds at a mall i will get in front of a group of people and slow down so they have to move around me or walk at my increasingly slower pace

[Brotato]

Originally Posted by freedogger

I take my e-bike which looks and sounds like a regular bike and go hunting lycra on the bike paths. I will tale them for quite a while and draft them. The good ones will try to pull away. I will stay right on them. After quite a while I will pass them pedalling backwards and fully upright trying to catch as much wind as possible.

And for the record, I slow down for dogs kids and congestion. Never had an incident or close call in five years...

There's a good thread here on my exploits. Scroll to "Almost got run over today"
http://bikecalgary.org/?q=node/2132

Here's a sample:
Alright, the title might be a little sensational for the actual story. As I was riding in to downtown on the MUP (just east of Edworthy Park), I was passed at great speed with very little warning.


My instinctive response, was to try and catch this speeding object and see if I could draft on the way in. It wasn't until I had accelerated from 30 to 48 km/h and realized this speeding object was still opening a gap that the logical part of my brain kicked in and told me that this was A) not possible for my legs keep up, and much more importantly B) this is insanely dangerous.


The speeding object was a mountain bike with two panniers, and was doing at least 55 km/h at 8:15 am. I am convinced there was a motor of some sort in this bike since the rider wasn't even trying to be aerodynamic in his posture.

I'm wondering if it is worth calling 311 to complain, or if I just inviting a ticket on myself (I was doing 30 in the first place). But my concern is what sort of mayhem this individual is going to cause in congested areas. For example I had to slow to almost a complete stop behind a small child just two minutes down the path to wait for oncoming cyclists to pass, what would this guy have done in this case?

Reading that made me very sad for you.

[Clarkey]

At the grocery store I don't put that divider thing after I've got my stuff on the belt just to watch the monkey behind me squirm with anxiety until they finally give in and ask if I can pass them a divider.

Try it sometime, I guarantee you the person behind you will start freaking out, it's a hilarious social experiment!

[Flamesguy_SJ]

In the staff room fridge at work, I enjoy pouring a glass of pop/milk/juice or whatever until there's juuust less than a mouthful left...and then putting it back in the fridge for the next person to come along. Works better for milk or orange juice.

Also, standing still on escalators, especially the ones with a flight of stairs in between them.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

The world is full of morons who can't even figure out how to deal with pedestrians. They shouldn't even be allowed to drive. Their property isn't special.

You really don't see how damaging other people's property is wrong? A car is probably the second biggest item a person will purchase in their life, yet it should be free to be damaged at random peoples whim? Who are you to make such a split-second judgement call? Drivers make mistakes, some driver's even deserve to be punished....but to randomly kick cars because you perceive someone to be a moron? Uncool.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by Table 5

You really don't see how damaging other people's property is wrong? A car is probably the second biggest item a person will purchase in their life, yet it should be free to be damaged at random peoples whim? Who are you to make such a split-second judgement call? Drivers make mistakes, some driver's even deserve to be punished....but to randomly kick cars because you perceive someone to be a moron? Uncool.

If someone almost runs me over in a cross walk downtown, like what happened last week, because they weren't paying attention I am going to bang my hand on their window, or give their bumper a kick.

Is it cool? No, probably not... but neither is almost ending my life because you can't be bothered to do a shoulder check. It may be a jerk reactionary response by me but honestly Table... I'm having a hard time feeling bad about it.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by Table 5

You really don't see how damaging other people's property is wrong? A car is probably the second biggest item a person will purchase in their life, yet it should be free to be damaged at random peoples whim? Who are you to make such a split-second judgement call? Drivers make mistakes, some driver's even deserve to be punished....but to randomly kick cars because you perceive someone to be a moron? Uncool.

It's not a random whim. My legs are considerably more important than any car. If he nearly runs me over because he's a moron, do you think I should respect his paintjob?

Drivers do make mistakes all the time. If a driver makes a mistake that nearly kills me, his precious car is fair game.

Sadly, the best I can ever do is hawk a loogie, and even that's rare.

[jeffh]

What a hot thread right now, some real fun, practical ones on here.

I think a few of you are confused with each other's posts. Pylon was the one who almost had his car keyed for parking in a handicap spot. The A-hole retaliation thing in this situation would be to hawk a loogie, at the most. As for almost getting your feet run over or worse inside a crosswalk, I think you have the right to A-hole 'em right back and try to 'punch' out their window if you are frightened, daring and livid enough.