Anyone here in their 30's and still single? But want marriage?

[fundmark19]

Originally Posted by kevman

Convince her!? She should be convincing you that she's worth you keeping her around...

laundry and cleaning and letting me buy my toys and not feel guilty about hanging with the guys is more then enough to convince me!

[KTown]

Originally Posted by Vinny01

I am 28 and have been in a relationship for 2.5 years. I recently finished doing 8 months of long distance Calgary-Edmonton (sept,10-apr,11). We have been living together for the past 6 months and I am finding things are getting tough. We have friends getting engaged and married and my girlfriend is dropping hints about wanting to get married and planning things 5-10 years down the road.

I am kind of freaking out and miss the single life from time to time. I like my own time and miss the chase. I wanted to be 100% convinced this is the girl for me, and I used to think that when we were doing the long distance. The last thing I wanted was to lose her. Now that we live together I am probably the furthest away from wanting to get married to her than I have been in over a year.

Part of me worries that I have a grass is greener mentality right now and I will regret things if I were to become single, and I also don't want to be going back into the game in my late 20's/early 30's.

Don't take this the wrong way but your story is similar to mine other than the long distance. I ended up separated because I was never 100% truly happy. Yes you have to work at it, but it shouldn't be a chore, it should be something you want to work on. You need to really re-evaluate what you want. There are pros and cons to both, but being single in your late 20s and early 30s is not the end of the world, it is more normal now than b4. It is also not hard to find girls in this city because there are lots of losers in this city.

[lazypucker]

Originally Posted by KTown

... It is also not hard to find girls in this city because there are lots of losers in this city.

Do you live in Edmonton by any chance?

By the way, I am in a similar situation as the OP. I have been single for the last several years and in my early 30's. Although the girls I met (and had relationships with) were not the "gold digger" type, but I found them "superficial." What I mean is that the girls I met don't know or care about anything other than celebrity gossips and the latest fashion trends.

I am in the mode now where I am not actively seeking, but if someone comes along with a similar background and believes as I do, then I will go for her.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by Vinny01

Part of me worries that I have a grass is greener mentality right now and I will regret things if I were to become single, and I also don't want to be going back into the game in my late 20's/early 30's.

Hahahahaha. Relax, Vinny - my mid-30s were like shooting fish in a barrel. You still have a bit of life left...

[Vinny01]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

Hahahahaha. Relax, Vinny - my mid-30s were like shooting fish in a barrel. You still have a bit of life left...

Well it is not a huge factor in me staying in my relationship. If I am single in my 30's then so be it. It would not be my ideal situation but if things don't work out I am not going to remain unhappy just to avoid being single.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by Vinny01

Well it is not a huge factor in me staying in my relationship. If I am single in my 30's then so be it. It would not be my ideal situation but if things don't work out I am not going to remain unhappy just to avoid being single.

Your current situation is exactly like my first marriage. If there is something wrong now, it will only get worse...

[Tron_fdc]

Geeez, there's no rush fellas. People are living longer and longer these days, and with advances in technologies and medicine, it's much easier for a girl to give birth well into her 40's. Statistically speaking the chances of birth defects and mis-carriages are higher, but that's changing every year.

I'm 36, no kids, and have never married. I lived with a girl for 7 years from 25-32, we broke up, and I spent about 3 years successfully chasing 24-26 yr olds.

I currently live with a girl my own age, and although she's starting to pull out her hidden marriage agenda (all girls have them) we have a pretty healthy relationship.

Why rush things? The purpose of my existence is not to pro create.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

The purpose of my existence is not to pro create.

Darwin disagrees.

[afc wimbledon]

I shall add my 'old geezer' opinion here, was married at 25 and it lasted 14 years. It was not a particularly happy marriage but gave me a sometimes wonderful daughter.
Since the divorce I have generally dated but have no desire to live with anyone nor risk losing half my stuff. Basically it is a financial consideration for me, I can earn more a single caregiver, spend my money on what I want and, at 50, I cannot afford to get wiped out again in a divorce.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

I shall add my 'old geezer' opinion here, was married at 25 and it lasted 14 years. It was not a particularly happy marriage but gave me a sometimes wonderful daughter.
Since the divorce I have generally dated but have no desire to live with anyone nor risk losing half my stuff. Basically it is a financial consideration for me, I can earn more a single caregiver, spend my money on what I want and, at 50, I cannot afford to get wiped out again in a divorce.

A proper pre-nup would protect your assets entering a second marriage.

[Tron_fdc]

Originally Posted by troutman

Darwin disagrees.

OK, I'll rephrase that.

The purpose of my existence is to attempt to procreate with as many females as possible, as long as the chances of insemination are controlled effectively.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by troutman

A proper pre-nup would protect your assets entering a second marriage.

Right up until she pulls the 'im sick and can't work and he bullied me into signing it'.
I have no trust in our courts ability to restrict themselves to ruling on law as opposed to percieved social justice.

[KTown]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

Right up until she pulls the 'im sick and can't work and he bullied me into signing it'.
I have no trust in our courts ability to restrict themselves to ruling on law as opposed to percieved social justice.

I lost alot during my process as well and I will have spousal payments. My retirement plan was around 55, it has now jumped to around 62-63. I figure I will need to work another 7 - 8 years to make up for what I lost and continue to lose for the next while.

I am also, very hesitant about getting married or living common law with the next one. I allready lost 50%, losing 50% of 50% will leave me with 25% for me and my son. Not sure if that's a risk I want to take.

[afc wimbledon]

Pretty sure I wouldn't be able to keep these in my front room if I had a wife either, which is a good enough reason to stay single imho.

[J pold]

Relevant:

[JohnnyB]

That is the most horrific thing I've read in a while.
Saddening.

[Ozy_Flame]

I hope the husband in question sees that transcript and uses it in his defense. Unlikely to happen though.

[stampsx2]

There are so many guys looking for a relationship by the time they are 30. There is an equal number of women looking for that exact same thing that are in the exact same situation. It's not just guys that are stuck in that situation. Women have entire shows, moives and magazines dedicated to solving that exact problem (Sex and the city for example and no i don't watch it). Now if only you people could find eachother.

If you are looking for the perfect girl, then stop. It will take a thousand years of searching. Even if you do find her, your relationship will still require work.

I guess what I'm saying is, you will NEVER find that beautiful girl who will do all the cooking and cleaning while you go out with your friends every night and consider that ok. It's a fantasy not reality.

[kevman]

Originally Posted by stampsx2

I guess what I'm saying is, you will NEVER find that beautiful girl who will do all the cooking and cleaning while you go out with your friends every night and consider that ok. It's a fantasy not reality.

Well you won't with that attitude, that's for sure...

[stampsx2]

^^^ ya sure.