You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Now with 3x more gears...

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by bizaro86

That's not how people say it though.

I've definitely been asked if we were trying to have kids (we were married for quite awhile before we did have kids).

That's slowed down now (we have two kids in middle elementary) but even now once in awhile someone asks if we're going to have another kid. We're not.

I think it's super-rude. There are only two possibilities for why someone in a committed relationship doesn't have kids.

1) they don't want kids, either ever or not yet. That's a totally fine choice, but can still be awkward when the person asking assumes everyone should want kids.

2) they are trying to get pregnant but haven't been able to yet. This one can make that question very difficult, because you may reasonably not want to discuss your personal health issues casually, and fertility issues are often really emotional.

It’s also almost always a stranger or loose acquaintance.

[getbak]

NSFW!

[Cappy]

Originally Posted by timun

In my experience someone who goes through with an attempt more often than not actually does so not out of a sense of "selfishness", as it is so easily and often chalked up to by some of the people left in the wake of their action.

On the contrary, it's actually done so out of a sincere, deeply-held belief that the people in their lives would be better off without their presence. That by ending their life, it's actually doing their friends and family a favour. They really do think it's for the best for everyone. They truly, honestly don't believe it'll leave a path of destruction behind, nor a void in the lives of those families and friends.

Of course this is borne out of a very twisted logic. There is a rationale, but it's based on false premises. Premises warped by, as Sliver put it, "a period of hurt most of us cannot fathom", or "disease [that] causes a level of pain so profound that it twists one’s ability [...] to maintain a sense of future possibilities," as Dion put it.

I think the people who react with anger and lash out about "The Coward's Way Out" and how "selfish" people are just don't otherwise know how to process it. The thought of being so anguished to consider suicide may be beyond their comprehension. For example you sometimes hear stories of parents who commit suicide and leave kids behind, and other people are often extremely scornful about it afterward, spitting venom about how selfish it was for that parent to leave kids without a mother/father, and I always think "you just don't get it: that parent killed themselves because they thought their kids would be better off without them." A lot of people out there cannot fathom how profoundly you have to hate yourself to to believe that's the most reasonable course of action, so they can't understand how it could be anything other than a selfish act.

The selfishness/cowardice argument comes from 2 factors:

the first being the fact that most suicides are committed by people in the spur of the moment, so to speak. Many people who survive are very much regretful that they did so. There are ways to seek help or even just a brief reprieve where the moment may pass.

The second, and most prominent fact, is religion. Suicide is frowned upon (i believe you can even go to "hell" for it?). Of course, this is largely a medieval concept:

Priest: Don't worry you poor and unwashed masses, if you are pious and pay us tithings, you will go to heaven when you die! the best place ever!

Masses: Damn! my life sucks right now, i might as well end it now to get to this sweet place!

Priest: No! it doesn't work that way! continue paying tithings and work hard!

[MoneyGuy]

More humourous than a gear grinder but my wife answered a phone call today from someone claiming to be her “favourite grandson.” I told her I’d have handled it differently - maybe swearing at the guy or stringing him along. Probably the latter.

[timun]

Originally Posted by Cappy

The selfishness/cowardice argument comes from 2 factors:

the first being the fact that most suicides are committed by people in the spur of the moment, so to speak. Many people who survive are very much regretful that they did so. There are ways to seek help or even just a brief reprieve where the moment may pass.

If you're interested, there was a fascinating 2016 study conducted in South Korea about "impulsivity" of attempts, published by the US National Library of Medicine: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4965648/

They found that the split between "impulsive" vs. "non-impulsive" attempts was about 50/50. Granted this was only specific to patients treated in hospital as a result of their self-inflicted injuries, and doesn't include attempts not severe enough to require emergency medical attention, nor does it include "successful" (...) attempts that didn't require medical intervention because said intervention would have been pointless...

[Locke]

Originally Posted by MoneyGuy

More humourous than a gear grinder but my wife answered a phone call today from someone claiming to be her “favourite grandson.” I told her I’d have handled it differently - maybe swearing at the guy or stringing him along. Probably the latter.

"I'm in jail...please send Apple Gift Cards to pay my bail!"

"Whats that? Gift cards to Dildos R' Us? Sure...coming right up."

[Dion]

There was a time when I'd be driving High Country Drive in High River and I'd see 2 women riding horses along the curb. Some residents of High River complained to bylaw/peace officers making it so they were no longer allowed to ride in town. It put a damper on the training for Shelby Ann's rescue / rehabilitation horses. We're a small town and not Calgary

[Locke]

Where do you park them?

[Slava]

Originally Posted by Locke

Where do you park them?

The Hitchin’ Post. Obviously!

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Slava

The Hitchin’ Post. Obviously!

I dont see any hitchin' posts!

Could you imagine parking a horse in a Handicapped spot?

Now theres a road-rage incident I'd pay money to see.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Slava

The Hitchin’ Post. Obviously!

[Lubicon]

Originally Posted by Dion

There was a time when I'd be driving High Country Drive in High River and I'd see 2 women riding horses along the curb. Some residents of High River complained to bylaw/peace officers making it so they were no longer allowed to ride in town. It put a damper on the training for Shelby Ann's rescue / rehabilitation horses. We're a small town and not Calgary

Growing up in a small town we had an old timer who had his drivers license taken away due to his age. So he took to driving his farm tractor into town when he had to run errands. Nobody ever seemed to be upset and the RCMP apparently didn't care.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by Lubicon

Growing up in a small town we had an old timer who had his drivers license taken away due to his age. So he took to driving his farm tractor into town when he had to run errands. Nobody ever seemed to be upset and the RCMP apparently didn't care.

Good movie along those lines from David Lynch, The Straight Story. Though he used a lawn tractor.

[Cappy]

Originally Posted by Dion

There was a time when I'd be driving High Country Drive in High River and I'd see 2 women riding horses along the curb. Some residents of High River complained to bylaw/peace officers making it so they were no longer allowed to ride in town. It put a damper on the training for Shelby Ann's rescue / rehabilitation horses. We're a small town and not Calgary

Those are the same residents that proudly speak of their cowboy "heritage"

[Barnet Flame]

Originally Posted by Dion

There was a time when I'd be driving High Country Drive in High River and I'd see 2 women riding horses along the curb. Some residents of High River complained to bylaw/peace officers making it so they were no longer allowed to ride in town. It put a damper on the training for Shelby Ann's rescue / rehabilitation horses. We're a small town and not Calgary

Some people just go through life, raisising a stink and causing problems where none exist, just for the sake of it.

Admittedly, I’m one of them, but I don’t like it when others do it.

[Raekwon]

I just had this discussion at work. The problem is people aren't moving to the small towns for the lifestyle anymore they are doing it for the housing prices. I liked the small town feeling of living in High River when I lived there about 10 years ago, since moved to Airdrie which at one point still had the small town feeling but that is long gone. Now its just angry over extended homeowners that have a long commute and like to complain

[TheIronMaiden]

Originally Posted by Raekwon

I just had this discussion at work. The problem is people aren't moving to the small towns for the lifestyle anymore they are doing it for the housing prices. I liked the small town feeling of living in High River when I lived there about 10 years ago, since moved to Airdrie which at one point still had the small town feeling but that is long gone. Now its just angry over extended homeowners that have a long commute and like to complain

Its the Greater Calgary Area.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Raekwon

I just had this discussion at work. The problem is people aren't moving to the small towns for the lifestyle anymore they are doing it for the housing prices. I liked the small town feeling of living in High River when I lived there about 10 years ago, since moved to Airdrie which at one point still had the small town feeling but that is long gone. Now its just angry over extended homeowners that have a long commute and like to complain

House prices are no longer cheap here in High River. Too many people from BC and Ontario coming here with cash in hand to buy homes which in turn drive up the prices. My villa was worth $325,000 before Covid and now houses on my street are selling for close $500,000. Just insane!

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by Dion

House prices are no longer cheap here in High River. Too many people from BC and Ontario coming here with cash in hand to buy homes which in turn drive up the prices. My villa was worth $325,000 before Covid and now houses on my street are selling for close $500,000. Just insane!

That’s cheap.

[Muta]

Originally Posted by Raekwon

I just had this discussion at work. The problem is people aren't moving to the small towns for the lifestyle anymore they are doing it for the housing prices. I liked the small town feeling of living in High River when I lived there about 10 years ago, since moved to Airdrie which at one point still had the small town feeling but that is long gone. Now its just angry over extended homeowners that have a long commute and like to complain

Airdrie definitely isn't small town anymore, you got that right - one of the fastest growing urban populations in North America (they'll be hitting the 100,000 population mark in no time). From our experiences working with the City, seems like they're definitely having a time finding the right policies and approaches to adjusting to this growth. And understandably so - going from a small city to a big one in relatively short order is definitely a challenging hurdle, policy-wise and resource-wise.