Giving up your seat...

[MJM]

If everyone acted in the real world like the way they like to pretend they do on calgarypuck, our city would be as close to a Utopia as you could get.

[Phaneuf3]

Originally Posted by MJM

If everyone acted in the real world like the way they like to pretend they do on calgarypuck, our city would be as close to a Utopia as you could get.

So what you're saying is, ban oiler and canucks fans from Calgary and we're set!

[Phanuthier]

I have a somewhat related story/rant, again middle to late aged generation. The other day, I was car dealership getting my car serviced. I had a phone interview that day, and I went into a open cubicle (i.e. 3 walls) to chat. Now to give you an orientation of the building, there was a waiting room (4 seats filled out of 12) for people to read and such, there was a coffee room, and the general show room with the open cubicals on the other side of the showroom to the waiting area. In that area by the open cubicals were a few chairs that nobody was sitting in. Outside was a major road with heavy traffic.

Anyways, when my interviewer called, I went into the cubical to do my phone interview, facing the corner to try not to disturb the nobodys who were around me. 20 minutes into my interview, an old women (approx 65) comes to sit in a chair closest to the cubicle (note: waiting area still quite vacant) to read. 5 minutes later, during my interview, she loudly asks "hey can you talk outside?"

Lets back this truck up, so I'm on the phone obviously not talking about random (it was pure technical talk), I was standing farthest away from the waiting area possible and facing a corner in a adjacent cubical, and its loud outside. Old bitch comes to sit closest to the cubicle I'm talking in. Outside is loud with heavy traffic.

Later on, I'm sitting in a corner seat reading a magazine, and the main walk-out of the area is 2 seats away and un-occupied. The same women walks up to me and says "excuse me" to try and take a short cut out, saving herself about 6 steps at the inconvenience of someone else. I was still a little pissed off from her previous comment during my interview, so I look at her like "are you serious," give a disgusted grunt and ignore her request.

Rudeness and self-entitlement goes for all people and generations

[V]

Originally Posted by Huntingwhale

Show some balls??? What is this, a toughness contest? So he should be forced to give up his seat to someone simply because she has a vagina???

No, he shouldn't be forced to. He should want to. But alas, as many have said, chivalry is dead. It isn't the 30s anymore, and you can't expect the general population to act like gentlemen.

[darockwilder]

I took the train from Crowfoot a few times in the winter when I knew Crowchild would be a mess, and twice I saw the same lady (don't know if it's the same as this one) get on at Lion's Park. She would immediately look at the nearest person and tersely annouce "Seat Please!". It was kind of odd, and both times the person capitulated and gave up their seat. My wife and I still joke about it when one of us wants to sit somewhere. "Seat Please!!!"

[MJM]

WHy does someone need a seat at the Crowfoot stop anyways? I've taken it like 50 times during peak volume to downtown now since I moved to the NW, and the train is always atleast 50% empty until you get to Brentwood.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by darockwilder

I took the train from Crowfoot a few times in the winter when I knew Crowchild would be a mess, and twice I saw the same lady (don't know if it's the same as this one) get on at Lion's Park. She would immediately look at the nearest person and tersely annouce "Seat Please!". It was kind of odd, and both times the person capitulated and gave up their seat. My wife and I still joke about it when one of us wants to sit somewhere. "Seat Please!!!"

I'm a bit enough ass that I would have mockingly said "seat please!!!" too right in front of her, to the nearest old women / handi-capped / pregnant women around.

[darockwilder]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

I'm a bit enough ass that I would have mockingly said "seat please!!!" too right in front of her, to the nearest old women / handi-capped / pregnant women around.

I would've paid to see that. She may have hit you with her library book....

[kevman]

Originally Posted by -TC-

very much so.

in front of the computer, in my home, on the street, everywhere.

how we treat others is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves.

the world doesn't have to be the selfish, self absorbed place it is rapidly becoming.

Since it's viewed as "selfish" to not offer your seat to a lady shouldn't one also offer their seat to a young able bodied male as well? You know, to not be selfish and all...

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by darockwilder

I would've paid to see that. She may have hit you with her library book....

I played 2 years of dodgeball, I'd probably duck and she would have hit the old women / handicap / pregnant women instead.

[GreenLantern]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

People put way too many labels for gender. The whole chivalry towards women is BS. Offering a seat, holding open doors, helping someone get a luggage, you should offer help for those in need, not some phantom courtesy norm. If there is only 1 or 2 people behind me, I hold the door open for them regardless of age or gender. If I see someone who probably needs a seat (and assuming I'm not in a grumpy mood) I offer it up, regardless of age or gender. If I see someone struggling to get a heavy bag off the airport carasole (sp?) again I offer help.

That should be the social structure of courtesy and chivalry, not because some male wants to show everyone he's some sort of superman.

This is it for me, I do all of these things, but I don't do them based on status or gender. I do them because I want to, because I am a nice guy. But when someone tells me I am obligated to do them, or in a situation like this where the older lady clearly took advantage of the OP, I get upset.

You want to talk about being a gentleman, or being chivalrous? Doing noble deeds or polite things for strangers because I WANT to, not because I follow some code that forces me to, that is being a true gentleman.

[JustAnotherGuy]

I only sit if there are empty seats. If more people come on the bus/train I will stand and give up my seat. That is my decision. I will let the people figure out who gets a seat.

Unless it is a pregnant woman. I will make sure she has a place to sit. But usually somebody will give up their seat for her. Yes, I have asked people to give up their seat for the pregnant lady. Every time the person woke up out of their brain dead moment and gave it up willingly.

[WilsonFourTwo]

I'll answer this way OP.....had you said no, I wouldn't have thought less of you.

That said, I'm impressed that you gave to someone else (woman, man, old, young) when you could have easily said "Nah, I'm good". It's akin to holding the door for someone, it's an action that speaks louder than words.

[transplant99]

I dont ride public transit ever....and havent for probably 6 years and that was in Atlanta on the metro.

That being said...if someone asks me for my seat, its theirs. I assume they have a need to sit that may or may not be apparent to me. There are more non-visual ailments than their are visible ones that require those stricken to not stand for long periods of time. I understand this and would never ever ask someone "why" if they requested it. Its mot just "chivalrous" or some demented definition of womens equality...its called being human. It costs me nothing to allow someone else the comfort they may or may not require, so i am not going to gamble that they are merely "trying to take advantage" of me. It just isnt worth the risk that they really do need the seat, and I have no reason to not give it to them.

Being nice to fellow humans isnt that big a deal really...well apparently for some it is, but for most it is not.

[Finner]

Some of this stuff on here about how a man should ALWAYS be giving his seat to a women is laughable.

I grew up with two sisters and can say without a shadow of a doubt that in a variety of ways they are smarter, stronger, and more capable then i am. To spout out i should be giving up my seat to someone simply because they are women does a disservice to the fact they are just as strong, just as intelligent as you are and should be treated equally, not as children who can't stand for themselves. If you aren't going to stand up for a healthy man, you sure as hell shouldn't be standing up for a healthy women.

I think some of the comments here from the supposedly masculine posters are pretty disgusting. They think they are out protecting these precious fragile women, but in reality it's sexist and chauvinistic behavior. Treat people like people, not like "hey, you have a vagina, i'm surprised you could even figure out what a bus is, much less stand on one."

Give up your seat if someone needs it. Hold open the door if someone is behind you. If you're on a date with a man or a women, offer to pay. Be a good person to everyone, just not women.

[Rerun]

Originally Posted by amorak

You're a young man - The only person you DON'T give your seat up to is a YOUNGER man. Any woman gets your seat. In fact, you're a jerk for not having OFFERED her your seat. I see a tonne of nerds on their iphones, etc on the bus when i am forced to take it who let woman stand. You're a man, show some balls and stand, let a lady have your seat. I never sit, I always offer my seat to the woman.

I'd thank you twice if I could.

[annasuave]

Like Fotze and others have said, you really can't tell just by looking at person if they're disabled or not. For all we know she might be profoundly disabled with something that isn't readily apparent. Or she could also be a bag. Maybe even both. Without knowing why she asked, we really can't pass judgement.

True Story: I was on a crowded bus on a fiendishly hot day. A young, harried looking woman got on lugging a crate of pop and a fussy toddler. A crowd of people pretended not to see, or took the attitude that an able bodied person doesn't need a seat regardless of the circumstances. Me and the truly fabulous looking woman sitting next to me both made a move to offer her a seat. Skinny mohawk-sporting Gen-Y dude across the aisle beat us both to punch. Punk-dude got off the bus in Kensington, and quick as a whistle, the truly fabulous-looking (if somewhat cougarish) woman next to me followed him off.

Through the open window I heard her say "Hey, I liked what you did back there. Do you want to come back to my place for a sandwich and maybe have sex?"

It goes to show that you can't judge people by appearances and that chivalry (or basic human kindness) does have it's rewards.

... unfortunately, the bus pulled away then and I never did hear if the kid took her up on her offer.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by annasuave

Like Fotze and others have said, you really can't tell just by looking at person if they're disabled or not. For all we know she might be profoundly disabled with something that isn't readily apparent. Or she could also be a bag. Maybe even both. Without knowing why she asked, we really can't pass judgement.

True Story: I was on a crowded bus on a fiendishly hot day. A young, harried looking woman got on lugging a crate of pop and a fussy toddler. A crowd of people pretended not to see, or took the attitude that an able bodied person doesn't need a seat regardless of the circumstances. Me and the truly fabulous looking woman sitting next to me both made a move to offer her a seat. Skinny mohawk-sporting Gen-Y dude across the aisle beat us both to punch. Punk-dude got off the bus in Kensington, and quick as a whistle, the truly fabulous-looking (if somewhat cougarish) woman next to me followed him off.

Through the open window I heard her say "Hey, I liked what you did back there. Do you want to come back to my place for a sandwich and maybe have sex?"

It goes to show that you can't judge people by appearances and that chivalry (or basic human kindness) does have it's rewards.

... unfortunately, the bus pulled away then and I never did hear if the kid took her up on her offer.

Funny enough, I saw this exact scenario in "Mommy Dear Ass 7"....

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by Finner

Some of this stuff on here about how a man should ALWAYS be giving his seat to a women is laughable.

I grew up with two sisters and can say without a shadow of a doubt that in a variety of ways they are smarter, stronger, and more capable then i am. To spout out i should be giving up my seat to someone simply because they are women does a disservice to the fact they are just as strong, just as intelligent as you are and should be treated equally, not as children who can't stand for themselves. If you aren't going to stand up for a healthy man, you sure as hell shouldn't be standing up for a healthy women.

I think some of the comments here from the supposedly masculine posters are pretty disgusting. They think they are out protecting these precious fragile women, but in reality it's sexist and chauvinistic behavior. Treat people like people, not like "hey, you have a vagina, i'm surprised you could even figure out what a bus is, much less stand on one."

Give up your seat if someone needs it. Hold open the door if someone is behind you. If you're on a date with a man or a women, offer to pay. Be a good person to everyone, just not women.

Brilliantly put. Giving up a seat, holding doors etc are all great things to do. However, doing them because someone is a woman, and not just to be a nice person, is as you say sexist and chauvinistic.

Women fought for decades to be treated as equals and yet some men cannot bring themselves to see women as anything other than fragile beings who require our constant protection and attention.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

Funny enough, I saw this exact scenario in "Mommy Dear Ass 7"....

Until Punker got to her house, she fed him a roofie sandwich, and then turned out to a pre op transexual named Steve.

Sometimes the price of being nice is a pain in the a$$