The official...things you ought to know thread...

[calf]

Originally Posted by fredr123

Was that at Dakota's?

nope...it was a couple of months ago at Ceili's

[Weiser Wonder]

Pulling out works.

[Azure]

Stay away from the gin! That stuff is dynamite!

Bad experience...woke up smelling like my aftershave. Now imagine that...

[algernon]

Originally Posted by CaramonLS

Shaving in the shower itself is best. I never, ever get razor burn, and you get a smooth, close shave.

I might miss a spot like... once in every 10 shaves now, so no mirror needed.

I can confirm this as true. I have used this method since reading this and I love it! I try hard to keep the number of beauty products I use to a minimum, as it streamlines travel.

Tooth paste: check
Dishsoap: check <instead of bar soap & shampoo>
Conditioner: check
Pitstick: check
Hot shower: check <instead of shave cream>
Cologne : check <once in a long while>

Thank You CaramonLS.

[Kipru]

When taking a crap, use toilet paper to soften the fall and avoid splashing. (some people really don't know this life-saving trick)

If you are going for a long walk to a freezing weather, never wash your face beforehand. The grease is there for a purpose.

If your about to play volleyball with amateurs (and if you are one yourself) allways brace your ankles in that way that they could withstand a nuclear explosion. You will hate the 4 months that you can't run or do sports.

[TheyCallMeBruce]

To battle supernatural elements such as chinese hopping ghost/vampire (Jiang Shi), you will need the following:

Fresh Chicken blood: Useful tool when attempting to prevent the Jiang Shi from getting close to you. Good for both close quarters and range attack.

spells written on yellow paper: This will prevent the Jiang Shi from moving. Only effective if you stick it on the forehead.

Grains of wild rice: Throwing rice at the Jiang Shi can inflict damage to the hopping undead. Best used as a range attack. Can also cure a person who has been bitten by one.

Don't breath in front of one: Jiang Shi follows human breath. If you encounter one, make sure you hold your breath. This will twart it's efforts to find you.

There are exceptions to every rule. You may encounter a Jiang Shi so powerful, it can follow your movements with it's eyes. The more powerful ones can hear you, so the breath technique is useless. The only surefire way to destroy a Jiang Shi is to blow it up or burn it. Ensure you have a cannon or sticks of dynamite. A flame thrower helps too.

[Sparks]

I think everyone should know about the bystander effect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect

[Flashpoint]

Your windows HOSTS file can be used to block all banner advertising encountered on the internets.

Just do a google search, and enjoy your ad free internet.

[return to the red]

taking a crap at work

http://www.iluvitar.com/sections/humour/?id=2

[Cube Inmate]

Originally Posted by return to the red

taking a crap at work

http://www.iluvitar.com/sections/humour/?id=2

I'm an out-of-the-closet pooper. I take pride in the "Jailbreak." If there's someone else in the bathroom, I'll usually follow up a jailbreak with a comment that varies depending on whether I know the person or not:

If I know them: "Don't worry...I'm ok!"
If I don't: "Oh my god...that's not supposed to happen!"

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by Cube Inmate

I'm an out-of-the-closet pooper. I take pride in the "Jailbreak." If there's someone else in the bathroom, I'll usually follow up a jailbreak with a comment that varies depending on whether I know the person or not:

If I know them: "Don't worry...I'm ok!"
If I don't: "Oh my god...that's not supposed to happen!"

one of those guys huh

[Cube Inmate]

You oughta know...

You can add the "superscript" and "subscript" operations to the MS Word toolbar, rather than going through the Format->Font menu, and save hours and hours of your life! Thanks Regorium!

Me so stupid.

[WesternCanadaKing]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

I'm guessing you've never been royally screwed by a wife, friends or sibling? Having had some extremely bad experiences with all three has made me a lot less trusting of humanity. Bad advice? Sure, if you never get screwed. It can also be a good defense mechanism though. Whether I consider myself a trustworthy person or not really has nothing to do with it in my opinion. What I'm trying to say is no one should assume I'm trustworthy without really good reasons to do so. Trust is something that needs to be earned, not freely given, in my opinion. You're less apt to get burned operating from that basis.

You're right that good relationships need trust to work. My second marriage is based on trust and is an exceptional marriage ... and has been for 20 years now. And I have a few friends who I would trust with my life, because they've earned that trust over time. But nobody automatically has my trust just because they're a friend or family member. Automatically trusting someone is just asking to be used and abused.

I'm not sure why I'm aguing this out though. If you find trusting everyone works for you, go ahead. Do it. You're a better person than I am.

I tend to agree with you, someone who you thought was your best friend could turn around and stab you in the back when you least expect it. I wouldn't go as far as to say don't trust people at all, but perhaps to just be on your toes? I suppose you have to be wronged by someone you really trusted to understand...

Not that I've really been horribly wronged by anyone; betrayed I guess would be a better word for it.

[NSFL]

Originally Posted by algernon

I can confirm this as true. I have used this method since reading this and I love it! I try hard to keep the number of beauty products I use to a minimum, as it streamlines travel.

Tooth paste: check
Dishsoap: check <instead of bar soap & shampoo>
Conditioner: check
Pitstick: check
Hot shower: check <instead of shave cream>
Cologne : check <once in a long while>

Thank You CaramonLS.

Unless I'm reading that wrong...My GOD, do you know what you're doing to your hair? Shampoo can be used as body wash. In fact, it's recommended, it's dries out your skin less but still leaves you squeaky clean. It's formulated to clean, but not strip out all the oils for healthy hair/ skin. Dish soap, on the other hand, is formulated to strip out every single bit of oil. That leaves your hair and your skin dry as paper.

[Dion]

The Gospel according to St Titlest

1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.

Grantland Rice

2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
John Updike

3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
Robert Lynd

4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.
Horace G. Hutchinson

5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
Gardner Dickinson

6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
Sam Snead

7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
William Wordsworth

8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
Dean Martin

9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
Tommy Bolt

10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.
Bishop Sheen

11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.
Arnold Palmer

12. My handicap? Woods and irons.
Chris Codiroli

13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.
Pete Dye

14. I'm hitting the woods just great; but having a terrible time getting out of them!
Buddy Hackett

15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf.
Billy Graham

16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
Jack Lemmon

17. Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain

18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Harry Vardon

19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them.
Jimmy DeMaret

20. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
Ben Hogan

21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.
All Us Hackers

22. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

George Deukmejian

And Finally.

23. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of bagpipes.
Lee Trevino

[4X4]

When moving heavy/awkward/heavy & awkward objects, use straps.

Example 1: king sized mattress without handles... Two guys, one long strap. Both guys wrap strap around wrist and hold with hand, strap goes under upright mattress. Lift and carry with ease.


Example 2: heavy object up stairs... Big screen 61" motherfudger in my sister's basement, up stairs with 2 90 degree turns. Fellah manning the front end was a mere 125lbs, but handled his half of the weight with a little help from one strap wrapped around both wrists and long enough that when he lifted, the tv only came a few inches off the ground. This way, we kept the tv level (was necessary to round corners), and he was able to set it down on every step if necessary, and I could just rest it on my knee during breaks.



Greatest thing about straps is that you just slide them back into the ratchet side and then secure your load in the truck. Very versatile.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Big screen 61" motherfudger in my sister's basement, up stairs with 2 90 degree turns. Fellah manning the front end was a mere 125lbs, but handled his half of the weight with a little help from one strap ...

don't tell people this, I'm not much bigger than 125 lbs, I don't ever want to move a TV that big!