"Cheesey" Jokes that still make you laugh...

[Mayer]

I didn't read the whole thread, but this is still one of my favs:

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Horsp"

"Horsp-who?"

"HA!"

[4X4]

For the people that like the cow jokes:

What do you call a masturbating cow?

beef stroganoff

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by J pold

I am laughing while a type

Two Hippos are in a bathtub, one says “pass the soap”

The other Says “What am I? A Typewriter?”

That is genius. I think I just LOLerskated.

[BlackEleven]

A guy in a limo sees a bunch of people in a field eating grass. He orders the driver to stop.

Rich Man: Why are you eating grass?
Poor Man: This is my family and we're so poor we can't afford to buy food.
Rich Man: Come in my limo we have to get you fed right away. Bring you're whole family.
Poor Man: Thank-you so much for your kindness. Where are we going?
Rich Man: Oh, you'll love my place. I had to fire the gardner and the grass is at least a foot high.

[4X4]

Two muffins are in the oven.

one says "sure is hot in here"

other one screams "holy crap a talking muffin!"

[chris lindberg]

I'm a Native Canadian Indian so it's alright if I tell these following jokes....right?


What did the Indian say when he first saw pizza?

Who threw up on my bannock - (fry bread)




Why did the White Man go to the Moon?

Because he heard Indians had land up there.

[Hack&Lube]

Originally Posted by La Flames Fan

So this guy walks into a bar....







Ouch.

FATA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



A man walks into a bar.














































































http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showpos...7&postcount=60

[Daradon]

^^^ Yeah this joke has been told about 4 times in this thread (even before yours Hack )

[Peanut]

Me: Ask me if I have a pickle in my ear.

You: Do you have a pickle in your ear?

Me: I can't hear you, I have a pickle in my ear!

--

Me: Ask me if I'm a tree.

You: Are you a tree?

Me: No.

[pope04]

Why do women fake orgasms?

Because men fake foreplay.

[HalifaxDrunk]

Q: How can you tell the difference between an ant and a hippopotamus?

A: The ant is easier to lift.

[Philly06Cup]

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see?
And he walks up to a sea -- well he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually the mollusk isn't moving.
He's in one place and then the sea cucumber, well they--I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber.
None of them were walking.
Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says:
"With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

[enthused]

How do you recognize Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?

... He's the one with the sesame seed buns!

[Hack&Lube]

Originally Posted by Daradon

^^^ Yeah this joke has been told about 4 times in this thread (even before yours Hack )

Mine is the only visual comedy in this thread

[Frank@75]

Why was Helen Keller's leg always wet?

Her dog was blind too!


How did Helen Keller burn her face?

She answered the iron!


Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

She sang with the other!


How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They left the plunger in the toilet!


Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would to, if you were called gwuuogarghhsk!



Enough already...

[Frank@75]

Why is it easier to unload a truck full of babies, than a
truck full of bowling balls?


You can't stick a pitchfork into bowling balls!

[Maritime Q-Scout]

what's the difference between a Leafs fan and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of 5

(insert Leafs fan for minority of your choice, I'm too polite to actually type one out )

[Dion]

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.
David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "He plays for the Edmonton Oilers , but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

[PowerPlayoffs06]

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow!
Interrupt---
MOOOOOO!!!

[PsYcNeT]

An airplane is whizzing through the ether, and inside is a small boy running up and down the aisles with his toys going "BRRRRROOOOMM!! I'M AN AIRPLANE!! ZOOOOOM!" and constantly annoying all the other passengers. A little while later, a man notices that all the incessant noise has stopped and pulls aside a young stewardess and queries her.

"Excuse me miss? I noticed that little boy has finally settled down?"

"Oh yes. I just politely asked him to go play outside!"
__________________________________________________ _______________________

What do you do with a dog with no legs?

Take him for a drag!
__________________________________________________ _______________________

What do you call a dog with no legs and steel balls?

Sparky!
__________________________________________________ _______________________

An old man is on stage in a small saloon playing the harmonica, when all of a sudden, wild eyed man runs in screaming.

"Quick! The Dalton boys are a-comin'! Do you know the quickest way out of town?!?!?"

The old man ponders this for a minute and replies

"Maybe, thass an old one. Hum a few bars and I can wing it."
__________________________________________________ _______________________

A Calgary Flames fan is driving North on Highway 2 to Edmonton. Grumbling as he passes the few small towns dotting the scenery, he spots an old priest thumbing his way along the shoulder. The Flames fan pulls over and lets him into the car.

"Oh thank yah yung feller, I just have to head up for a jamboree up in th' North from Calgary an my car broke down just past Ponoka!"

The Flames fan smiles and makes a bit of small talk for awhile, but the conversation slowly dies down as they drive on for another half an hour. Just around Leduc, the Flames fan spots a man in an Oilers jersey about 300m up the road walking North. Thinking quickly, he decides to take a shot at running the dirty Oilers fan down in his tracks, but he has to be sneaky with the preist with him, lest he be condemned to hell! So he slowly closes his eyes and pretends to fall asleep as he drifts towards the shoulder. A few seconds later he hears a loud *WHUMP* and flashes open his eyes only to see the priest leering at him greedily.

"You almost missed the bugger, but don't worry! I got em' with th' door!!"

More later