When I was young, I used to believe...

[LastInLine]

I thought Jesus Christ was an alcoholic.
I had an uncle who was an alcoholic and family members would say "He has alcohol running in his veins". When I made my 1st communion (Catholic) and the "blood" tasted like wine I just put 2+2 together. I actually asked a nun about it at one point- my mother thinks I gave her (the nun) a heart attack.

[Flashpoint]

I used to believe that if I lit things on fire the Flames would win.

There were no casualties, and only minimal damage to the curtains.


(I also used to believe in Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, and God. Kids are so dumb.)

[Flashpoint]

Originally Posted by Reggie Dunlop

I would be willing to change my user name to Paul Raisin.

If he does, I would be willing to change my user name to Reggie Dunlop.

[pope04]

I used to believe that you had to press REALLY HARD to wet shave. Like, with a Bic razor. When puberty struck, I was fortunate in that I'd simply use my older brother's razors that were lying around. Problem was, he'd used them a million times and they were completely dull. I'd have to press super hard to get a decent shave. This was all fine and dandy until Mum presented me with my own set of brand-new razors. I lathered up and proceeded to shave, pressing REALLY HARD. After about the third swipe, I realized that I was bleeding, quite profusely. I was pressing so hard the razor was essentially cheese gratering my face. When my brother came home and saw my wounds, he literally went into hysterics....not pity, but the mirthful kind. Even today, when I say, "Do you remember when I got my first razors.........?" he kills himself.

[prarieboy]

I used to think that when you unplugged an electrical appliance there was some left over power in the cord and if you touched it you would be electrocuted.

[Hemi-Cuda]

meet Mr. Paul Raisin

[burnin_vernon]

I used to think a short-handed goal meant the way the player held the stick when he shot. I could never figure out how my dad knew it was a short handed goal.

Also

In grade school, there was a kid named Clint who played computer games with us in class after school. One time, some of the guys typed his name for the game as Clint, minus the N. I thought it was just a typo and that it was really funny when everyone called him Cli_t from then on.

One day, one of us called him that in the middle of a lesson and the teacher went nuts on us. Crazy-mad. I totally didn't get it at all. He finished his tirade by saying "if you dont know what it means, I suggest you go home and ask your mothers!"

Now, what he obviously meant was, that we all really knew what it meant, and that he was shaming us; well-knowing we would not go tell our mothers we have been saying this awful word. Nope, not me. I really thought he meant it for us to ask mom. Since I was dying to know, and was too cool to admit ignorance to my friends, asked mom. My older sister was there when I asked and after they laughed themselves to tears, finally told me it was a "female part". Quite embarrassing. But dammit, it still wasnt until doing "family life" later that year that I knew specifically what a Clint was.

[gottabekd]

That reminds me of sex ed in like grade..4? We wanted some video, and for some reason when the word "masturbation" showed up on screen, the teach fast forwarded that part.

Needless to say, that had all the kids wondering what "masturbation" is. Not that silly I suppose, but I probably came home that night and asked mom.

Can't think of anything else...the parents weren't cruel to me. I suppose I used to think that a "frozen puck" was when a puck actually froze to the ice, and they had to stop the play to chizel it out...

[MJK]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

When I was really young my sister got a pen pal at school. I was apparently jealous so I made up a pen pal of my own named Paul Raisin and would talk endlessly about all the great letters he sent me.

Apparently my parents decided it would be a hoot to actually send me letters from him. Talk about frackin a kid up by merging his imaginary world with reality.

Somwhere along the line I became convinced Paul Raisin was real. In fact, my parents took it as far to have him call me one day. (got the neighbour's older kid to do it).

At some point they realized that the charade could have long-lasting impacts on my psyche and Paul Raisin sent me a letter that he would no longer be able to write to me because he was moving to Europe. I distinctly recall being very upset. A couple years later my folks revealed the fact that they faked his existence to me.

I still have all the letters. Great keepsake.

This is the funniest thing I have EVER read in my entire life! Unreal! Best name EVER!

[STeeLy]

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

That'd be the greatest inside joke in the history of the Saddledome.

Lets all chip in to get a Paul Raisin Jersey for him

[HalifaxDrunk]

Originally Posted by STeeLy

Lets all chip in to get a Paul Raisin Jersey for him

Forget any poll jihads, that would be The Greatest Gift Cal Puck ever did!

Paul Raisin...just saying it makes me laugh!!!

If you google "Paul Raisin" the 1st site listed is some idiot who mis-spelled Paul Reiser and it's something about making him your personal servant. Jiri, you should get the real Paul Raisin to kick that guys ass.

[Flashpoint]

You know what this site needs? Paul Raisin day. All handles are changed to Paul Raisin, and we get to make up whatever we want and post it for that day, without consequences.

(sort of like a regular Eklund day)

Think of it as a tribute to the best friend who never existed, but it turns out does exist, lives in Europe, and rode in the tour de France.

[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

When I was really young my sister got a pen pal at school. I was apparently jealous so I made up a pen pal of my own named Paul Raisin and would talk endlessly about all the great letters he sent me.

Apparently my parents decided it would be a hoot to actually send me letters from him. Talk about frackin a kid up by merging his imaginary world with reality.

Somwhere along the line I became convinced Paul Raisin was real. In fact, my parents took it as far to have him call me one day. (got the neighbour's older kid to do it).

At some point they realized that the charade could have long-lasting impacts on my psyche and Paul Raisin sent me a letter that he would no longer be able to write to me because he was moving to Europe. I distinctly recall being very upset. A couple years later my folks revealed the fact that they faked his existence to me.

I still have all the letters. Great keepsake.

You have the bestest parents ever. Seriously. That would be hilarious to yank your kid's chain like that, one long, never-ending practical joke to warp his mind forever.

Cowperson

[Barnes]

The off topic forum should be renamed the Paul Raisin Memorial Forum.

I'm glad I started this thread. I got the idea from the site linked in an earlier post, but the stories were lame. CP has done a much better job.

[Canada 02]

I thought coin laundry was a place you went to wash your coins.

I thought forecheck was pronounced fork-check, and it meant that a defender would stick his stick in between the offensive players legs