Engagement Ring Advice

[sevenarms]

Originally Posted by ranchlandsselling

It's not something that you can agree or disagree with. It's either right for the person buying/not buying it or it's wrong for the person buying/not buying.

What you believe is irrelevant. It's a personal choice between two people that involved money.

You can have a different belief about what would be right in your situation. It pretty much ends there.

You nailed it.

[albertGQ]

Originally Posted by Senator Clay Davis

It's ironic that the number one cause of divorces is money issues yet many men start off a marriage by going into large debt with the ring(s) and the couple as a whole may also have a wedding which could be costly.

Debt? Some people save up for a ring too. I bought mine online and charged it to my Visa. Put the exact same amount (slightly more actually) on my credit card via online banking minutes later.

[Husky]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

Debt? Some people save up for a ring too. I bought mine online and charged it to my Visa. Put the exact same amount (slightly more actually) on my credit card via online banking minutes later.

Same. And by buying online I got it cheaper and larger.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by sevenarms

My wife wanted a nice ring and I got her one. It's what makes her happy and I was more than willing to oblige. So I got duped into buying something useless? I fell for the hype? That is absolutely ridiculous. I don't throw money around and am usually cautious with how I spend. That said I spent good money on a nice diamond ring and would do it again in a heartbeat.

Edit: To the OP. I went with Blue Nile and the ring looks amazing. The diamond and band cost about half what it would have at Spence.

Yes, you did get duped into buying something useless if you overspent on a ring. In the same way women who buy $700 Coach purses get duped when a purse a fraction of the price is just as good. I'd respect your position more if you came at it from the angle of "yes it's a dumb, over-priced, over-marketed, inherently valueless rock, but what the hell." Instead, you seem to be defending it as a totally reasonable purchase, which it objectively isn't.

Originally Posted by albertGQ

I haven't fallen for anything. If you clicked on any of the other CP links provided about engagement rings you'd know exactly how much I spent on my wife's ring. Would I spend $10k on a ring? Heck no. I wouldn't even spend $5k on a ring. That doesn't mean others shouldn't ifthey wantto and can afford it. People work hard fortheir money so they can spend it however they see fit. If spending $10k on a ring makes them happy, what's wrong with that?

Maybe you shouldn't spend $100 for dinner and wine spend a more reasonable $30. Instead of that $40k car, maybe buy a used $15k car instead. What's wrong with your 32 inch TV? Do you really need a new 50 inch? Why buy an ipad when you already have a laptop?

If you think my financial philosophy begins and ends at a ring, you're wrong. I do drive used cars that look like much more expensive vehicles because I think buying new is a bad idea. My wife and I order water with suppers out because we think $7.50 for a glass of wine is a waste of money. We bought an iPad 1 when they dropped in price because the iPad 2 came out. And on and on.

All that being said, I actually agree with what you said in this post. I've bolded the part that is key and I concede I've been remiss in my posts in this thread by not being more clear. If you can afford it, go for it. My definition of what somebody can afford will be different from everybody else's, but I'd say if you have paid off your student loans, own your home, are maxed out on your RRSPs, are able to enjoy yourself with some money for entertainment and you still have cash left over for an expensive ring then by all means you should be able to buy whatever you want and nobody should lift their nose at you.

If you're putting an expensive ring on debt and don't own your house, have no savings, etc., then you are being extremely stupid.

[Senator Clay Davis]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

Debt? Some people save up for a ring too. I bought mine online and charged it to my Visa. Put the exact same amount (slightly more actually) on my credit card via online banking minutes later.

Right, which is why I said many and not all. If I ever decide to get married I certainly will be paying straight cash.

[Smartcar]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

Expensive rings are sold because the marketing department at De Beers has successfully spent decades convincing women that their fiances are required to spend three month's salary on a diamond or else they don't love them enough.

Diamonds are not particularly rare and the cost is not based on intrinsic value but strict control of supply and demand. But if you're spending $$$ for a quality rock because you want to, then go for it. As others have said, if you're doing it because she will be embarrassed by a lesser ring you may be unhappy later in life.

You can get way more bang for your buck online. There's no duty, just GST if you get it from the US. Ebay is good, too, just check the feeback ratings and shipping charges.

[Clarkey]

I went with Bluenile.ca and since then about 4 or 5 buds have. I would recommend it all the way, everyone has been more than happy.

[Ozy_Flame]

My position is that, valuable rock or not, guys should not go into debt they can't afford for a ring. Buy what can for what you can afford - in cash - but don't add unnecessary consumer debt. I would hope that any fiancee would respect their significant other's financial position, especially when it is likely your finances will be merged (to some extent at least).

If you saved up $6k, awesome; go for it. If you are putting it on credit because your buddies bought similarly priced rings for their wives or you don't want your wife to feel "embarrased" in front of her friends with a cheaper ring, and you don't have the cash to pay for it, then I would just shake my head.

But since a large chunk of people here seems to make 100k a year, I might be preaching to the wrong crowd. :P

[albertGQ]

But why is putting part of a ring on credit bad but it's okay to finance a $30k car when a used $8k car would be just as sufficient?

[mikey_the_redneck]

Buy her one ring and one ring only....

...on your tenth anniversary.....

[burn_this_city]

Meh, it should be a once in lifetime purchase. I saved up the money and bought her a nice one, mostly because the mother in law expected it. Was it a frivilous purchase? Sure. But it makes her happy and ultimately thats all that matters. Money comes and goes, if it saves me a fight for my next frivilous car purchase than all the better.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

But why is putting part of a ring on credit bad but it's okay to finance a $30k car when a used $8k car would be just as sufficient?

You are the only one drawing that comparison/straw man/false equivalency, but I'll bite anyway.

A $30,000 car typically has a legitimate, ~$30,000 value when broken down to the sum of its parts plus labour. A piece of shiny rock for $8000 does not. It's value is arbitrarily made by the people who sell it to you at an insane mark up. It's a scam. They have totally over inflated its value to the maximum point they think you'll pay without consciously cluing into the fact that they're bending you over and laughing at you while they do it.

Not to mention people that recognize the poor value in an $8000 ring would also look for better value in buying a car at a used-price sweet spot in terms of mileage, age, wear and tear, etc., which brings me back to my original point that your argument is a straw man.

[jdso]

Sorry in advance for the long post:

If you want to learn a lot about diamonds prior to buying, I recommend doing research at Pricescope. http://www.pricescope.com/forum/

It's pretty much the ultimate resource and I believe some online retailers will provide discounts to Pricescope members.

From my own research on brilliant round cut diamonds a few years back, I learned that there are large parameters as to what qualifies as ideal cut and this would affect a diamonds "performance". By performance I am talking about how the diamond sparkles and looks (brilliance and fire). Cut is pretty much the most important of the "4Cs". A well cut diamond will sparkle better and larger resulting in the diamond looking larger and more colourless.

There is an advisement tool that can help estimate a diamonds performance by its cut and can be used to help narrow down some choices if you have the right info. http://www.pricescope.com/tools/hca

I was also a bit wary of online shopping but after learning that you can basically assess a diamonds performance online and through reports provided by online vendors I was happy in getting more value from my money by buying online. For online retailers, I would recommend going with Whiteflash or Good Old Gold as I dealt with both retailers and they both have reports on each diamond for sale.

For example these diamonds have a bunch of light performance analysis: http://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diam...nd-2680224.htm

http://www.whiteflash.com/jewelry/th...jpg&type=sarin

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/9351/

While a Bluenile and Whiteflash diamond may both have diamonds that meet "ideal cut", the Whiteflash ACA will likely have a better ideal cut in order to show more sparkle and brilliance.

Whiteflash "ACA" (A Cut Above) are basically their best cut diamond and have very tight parameters in order to meet "ACA" standard. This cut also comes with a price premium.

I would also be comfortable purchasing from recommended retailers on the Pricescope website.

For retailers in Calgary, I would recommend Troy Shoppe Jewellers. After doing a bunch of research on Pricescope, I was disappointed with the knowledge that most retailers had, but these guys were pretty knowledgeable. They also have the "Hearts on Fire" diamond which is similar to the Whiteflash ACA cut in both performance and price premium.

For value shopping in general, I would spend the most money on cut while maintaining a carat size you are comfortable with. Usually carat sizes that are just above or below the popular sizes (0.5, 1.0, 1.5, 2.0) are a little less expensive, so if I were looking for a 1.0 carat diamond, I would look for 0.93, 0.97, 1.03 etc to save some money. For clarity, I would save money by getting something in the SI1 or VS1 range as inclusions are mainly visible only under 10x magnification. You will have to be pickier for SI1 diamonds to make sure the inclusions are not in noticeable spots, and online retailers will check the diamond personally to ensure it is "eye clean". For colour, I think G,H,I are fine, but that is my opinion.

If you really want to go crazy, look into an Eightstar diamond. They supposedly have this super cutting technique that is supposed to result in excellent performance. I've never seen one but the reviews are interesting and I think they carry a hefty price premium. They are pretty unique and rare.

My wife and I are both very happy with our Whiteflash ACA diamond. In addition, they were also able to custom make the platinum setting based on a couple of inspiration pictures I provided. It was a good process. PM me if you have any further questions.

[Shasta Beast]

I also believe diamonds are a scam, controlled by deBeers and the like, but I won't go into that, it's your choice, good luck with the woman in any case.

Though if all is well, I recommend a tungsten carbide wedding band for yourself. They look sexy, are cheap (relatively), and as an added bonus if it's in an accident that would shear your finger off with the ring, a tungsten band will break first.

[albertGQ]

Originally Posted by Sliver

You are the only one drawing that comparison/straw man/false equivalency, but I'll bite anyway.

A $30,000 car typically has a legitimate, ~$30,000 value when broken down to the sum of its parts plus labour. A piece of shiny rock for $8000 does not. It's value is arbitrarily made by the people who sell it to you at an insane mark up. It's a scam. They have totally over inflated its value to the maximum point they think you'll pay without consciously cluing into the fact that they're bending you over and laughing at you while they do it.

Not to mention people that recognize the poor value in an $8000 ring would also look for better value in buying a car at a used-price sweet spot in terms of mileage, age, wear and tear, etc., which brings me back to my original point that your argument is a straw man.

Then why do new cars depreciate significantly once they're driven off the lot?

[REDVAN]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

Then why do new cars depreciate significantly once they're driven off the lot?

Still a straw man lol

[Flames89]

I'll say it. Anything less than a carat makes you less of a man.

In reality, size does matter. Honestly. Give a great girl a small ring, she will be happy. Give a great girl a bigger ring, she will be even more shocked and soon be quoting Golem.

Don't sacrifice cut and colour. If it has a yellow hue, don't buy it. Cut, especially if you are going for a round diamond, will make it reflect and refract light optimally - making it, well, super sparkly. Clarity, if no inclusions to the naked eye then it should be fine.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

Then why do new cars depreciate significantly once they're driven off the lot?

lol dude, I give up.

[Boblobla]

I bought my wife's (is that the correct use of the apostrophe??) ring at Troy Shoppe. We also got our wedding bands there and I have made a few more purchases as well for misc presents. The service is fantastic and the selection is great.

[Regular_John]

Originally Posted by Shasta Beast

I also believe diamonds are a scam, controlled by deBeers and the like, but I won't go into that, it's your choice, good luck with the woman in any case.

Though if all is well, I recommend a tungsten carbide wedding band for yourself. They look sexy, are cheap (relatively), and as an added bonus if it's in an accident that would shear your finger off with the ring, a tungsten band will break first.

+1 for tungsten, it's also durable as hell. My wedding band still looks brand new over a year later. Plus depending on the edge on your ring you can use a tungsten band to pry open a beer bottle. Good party trick.