Try maintaining a house, looking after kids, etc... while also maintaining a relationship. A lot more work than going out and getting wasted then eating some pizza.
Try getting up to go to work after getting wasted every night, never missing a powder day no matter how wasted you got, climbing a mountain without any sleep after getting wasted, always being the guy that say's he's keen to get wasted, etc. A lot more work than starting a load of laundry and turning the Nintendo on.
I worked in the wedding industry so I've seen a lot of couples and heard their stories. The one advice I would give here is that a lot of people got married just for the sake of it. It's usually the girl who either started dreaming of this day since she was younger. Some couples just got bored with their lives and though marriage would be next big thing to do. Make sure you are not one of these couples if you do decide to get married.
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Mine as well chime in here as I ranted along these lines in the GMG thread not too long ago. 24 and single, have been for about a year and a half now, I personally love and won’t be changing anytime soon. I’ll admit I am a bit selfish as my main focus in my life right now is well…me. I’ve been working extremely hard to set myself up for a well paying and meaningful career that can offer me a the experiences I want out of life. My priorities are basically the reverse of a lot of my friends and family, their main focus is getting married, settling down, buying a house, getting a dog, and soon enough start reproducing. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that but right now it’s not for me.
I worked in the wedding industry so I've seen a lot of couples and heard their stories. The one advice I would give here is that a lot of people got married just for the sake of it. It's usually the girl who either started dreaming of this day since she was younger. Some couples just got bored with their lives and though marriage would be next big thing to do. Make sure you are not one of these couples if you do decide to get married.
I've said this time and time again to people who have asked me my opinion on marriage and why, at 28, I'm not married: lots of people get married for the sake of getting married, and they do it because it's either that pressured next step, or someone (usually the woman) wants their 'big day'.
Then, when all the attention has subsided and the wedding is over, it's back to normal - but with alot more responsibilities. This is the part that some people are not ready for.
I was married and separated by 24. The Divorce was official just after I turned 25. Had the kid at 22 (conceived and born in wedlock I might add).
There's a reason why most marriages between young couples rarely work out: Someone grows up and realizes this isn't playing house, this is reality.
I think its far better to get married later when you've realized what you actually want in life and have a career and have a stable foundation where you can take on all the needs of another person. If you don't have that, you are just throwing gasoline on a fire and it won't end well.
late 20s, single and lovin it, i don't care for marriage, the whole concept is flawed. i tell my friends my thoughts on girls is that "I'm leasing, with the option to buy"
I'm in no rush. just relax and enjoy life as it comes. don't plan all these things out.
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I Just turned 31 this summer, and I thought that I would be like the normal family, married with 2.5 kids living in a house with a white picket fence... but, it didn't happen like that... Not even close
I know what the OP is going through, I used to be stressed out and anxious about finding a relationship that would eventually lead to marriage. I realized that all that was pushing them away, I was looking for someone that would fill a void rather then, as cliche as it sounds, compliment me. Be my equal. And like other's, I want an attractive girl, someone that takes care of herself, has a good career, and genuinely enjoys life. Figure if I want that, then those are qualities that I have to start working on in myself. Like attracts like.
And living in Vancouver in the past, I've run across many "gold diggers," and I used to think the way you did, but then I started establishing boundaries with women that I dated, and if they wanted to stay with me great, if not, oh well. But a lot of times they respected you for it. I learned that if you give to early in the relationship, then they start to expect it, and then when you don't give as much they get upset and start exhibiting "gold digger" behaviour. That has been my experience.
That being said, I'm happy being single. Starting a music production company so it's nice cause I can focus 100% on building my business and getting that off the ground, and if the right one wanders into my path then great, but until then I'm just going to have fun playing
So don't stress dood, everything happens in it's time. Just go out, have fun, and enjoy life!!
And as one poster said, just go out and be awesome
I am 41 and I just got married this May. I realize I'm probably still in the "honeymoon phase" but I couldn't be happier. I haven't been married before (neither has my wife) and never really felt any pressure from myself to get married, and I heard all the rumblings from my family about it as I have 4 sisters and a brother and they have all been married for years. I've had quite a few girlfriends over the years but I will tell you, I am extremely glad I didn't propose to the first girl I ever fell in love with just because it was expected of me. When your ready you will know it, I was with my wife for a couple of years before I proposed and I just knew this was the one.
My wife is 9 years younger than myself and very good looking and fit, we have a ton of stuff in common and together we are very secure financially, no children yet but the family planning has started. Just bought a house as well and things are going great.
So I would say that there are definitely still going to be some "good catches" out there that are in their 30's and available. I would also say that staying away from "golddiggers" can have more to do with where your looking for women just as much as your financial situation. I have always noticed that they tend to crop up more in places such as bars/night clubs etc. more than anywhere else.
You will know when you have met the right person to marry and I wouldn't feel too pressured, hate to beat a dead horse as its been posted many times already but just go out and have fun. I think you'll find that a positive and fun attitude will attract the ladies as well...
I am 28 and have been in a relationship for 2.5 years. I recently finished doing 8 months of long distance Calgary-Edmonton (sept,10-apr,11). We have been living together for the past 6 months and I am finding things are getting tough. We have friends getting engaged and married and my girlfriend is dropping hints about wanting to get married and planning things 5-10 years down the road.
I am kind of freaking out and miss the single life from time to time. I like my own time and miss the chase. I wanted to be 100% convinced this is the girl for me, and I used to think that when we were doing the long distance. The last thing I wanted was to lose her. Now that we live together I am probably the furthest away from wanting to get married to her than I have been in over a year.
Part of me worries that I have a grass is greener mentality right now and I will regret things if I were to become single, and I also don't want to be going back into the game in my late 20's/early 30's.
Part of me worries that I have a grass is greener mentality right now and I will regret things if I were to become single, and I also don't want to be going back into the game in my late 20's/early 30's.
Man, I'm just like you dude, hahaha... always having that 'grass is greener mentality'. Also, I like the chase. I CRAVE it.
But, what's wrong with going back into the game in your late 20's? At 28 (like me), now is literally the easiest time to pick up women. Being in the game isn't a bad thing - it only appears that way because everyone around is married. That doesn't make them right and you wrong.
Leon Phelps: What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt. By Leon Phelps
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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Man, I'm just like you dude, hahaha... always having that 'grass is greener mentality'. Also, I like the chase. I CRAVE it.
But, what's wrong with going back into the game in your late 20's? At 28 (like me), now is literally the easiest time to pick up women. Being in the game isn't a bad thing - it only appears that way because everyone around is married. That doesn't make them right and you wrong.
I guess there is nothing wrong with going back into the game in my late 20's. I guess one thing I slightly worry about is what the OP is worried about. I have also invested so much time, effort, and money into my current relationship that it is much easier said than done to walk away.
I guess there is nothing wrong with going back into the game in my late 20's. I guess one thing I slightly worry about is what the OP is worried about. I have also invested so much time, effort, and money into my current relationship that it is much easier said than done to walk away.
You took the plunge into the relationship, now take the plunge out. You won't regret it. It's actually very liberating.
You took the plunge into the relationship, now take the plunge out. You won't regret it. It's actually very liberating.
Well if I do take the plunge out it will not be for a while. I am still not sure if my problems are related to adjusting to living together from virtually being on my own (long distance gave me my Sunday night-Thursday night for myself minus 30-60min for skype). I also gave up my condo to rent a bigger place, and am currently paying for all bills (while she finishes law school) so my lifestyle and what I can afford has also taken a hit. I want to be 100% sure this is the girl I am going to marry or be 100% sure she is not the one for me. I don't want to be 35 single and complaining about letting the good one get away.
Being single for most of my 20's gave me some great opportunities. I saw lots of the world, got wasted and ate pizza a lot, and it was tons of fun. Now I'm 29 and living with a girl for the first time. We both were chronically single and not really looking, but ended up getting along really well and seeing where things went. I tried actively looking for a while because I was scared of dying alone, it sucked, and I decided I was much happier on my own than forcing it.
I will say, those who found the right one young and already have kids, your late 40's and early 50's will be a lot more fun than mine. You'll get more years alive with your kids than I can hope for. Also, having your own place for almost a decade and then trying to cohabitate with a girl suddenly... wow... I didn't realize how crotchety and particular I'd gotten about my living space. I used to be the typical pig bachelor that slowly turned into a neat freak, and letting the messes go, and putting up with her shoving all her crap into my house was a test. That gets better as you figure each other out though.
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Yes I am, Ive been told (though I have a babyface) Im very handsome. Im 6'2 and lean and ripped. In fact Ive had girls tell me in the past that they never approach me cause they assume im already taken
And this is before they even find out about your huge dong, right?
