"Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior"

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by troutman

You can't get into medical school through hard work alone. You also have to have a large measure of natural intelligence.

Or just have connections.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by troutman

You can't get into medical school through hard work alone. You also have to have a large measure of natural intelligence.

Insert Law Student joke here

[Knut]

THe other aspect to this is that Medical and professional schools are starting to move away from simply GPA and how you did on your MCAT or its equivalent. They are looking for volunteering, social activities out side of school, and a strong interview. I know for a fact there were students with 4.0 GPAs not getting into Optometry school because they did so poorly on their interview.

[The Yen Man]

Originally Posted by GreenLantern

I spent some time with an Asian that went through a regime very similar to this one growing up in Canada. Friend was extremely smart, polite and "proper". Friend is also now a doctor.

Friend also struggles in many populated social situations, is lacking greatly in confidence despite being good looking and talks to themself constantly without even realizing it.

So yes, I agree this could and probably will raise you a genius, but what they over compensate in the book smarts pool they will lack ten times over in the social behaviour pool... some might say this is a worth while sacrifice, I however do not agree.

It depends on what type of child you want I guess. Utimately, this genius may be a successful doctor or dentist, but now you've raised an introverted, socially inept person who makes a lot of money. Is that really something to brag about?

I find most of parents who fit into the mold of these "Chinese" parents mentioned in this article are really doing this for themselves. They want to brag to their friends and family about how good thier kids are, and how much more successful they are then their friends kids. They rarely have the kids well being in mind. It's all about stoking one's ego.

[Flames Fan, Ph.D.]

1) This mother needs to watch Amadeus and realize that hard work isn't sufficient to be the best.

2) This mother needs to realize that she can't guarantee that her kids will have a good future, but she has guaranteed that they've lost some great years of being kids.

[billybob123]

Originally Posted by Hesla

THe other aspect to this is that Medical and professional schools are starting to move away from simply GPA and how you did on your MCAT or its equivalent. They are looking for volunteering, social activities out side of school, and a strong interview. I know for a fact there were students with 4.0 GPAs not getting into Optometry school because they did so poorly on their interview.

My wife got into medical school in the late 90s; there's essentially no way she'd get in now. Her grades were incredible and she was a great person, but never spent any time volunteering or things like that.

During grad school, we had students passing through our lab that applied to meds each year, and I saw the changing face of admissions. We had a great success rate, the problem being that I couldn't tell you the profile of a successful meds applicant because they were so diverse. Our success rate was >75%, which said a lot about the students we had, unfortunately not a lot about the grad school alternative (which I willingly chose since i was never interested in meds.... sigh, great decision.)

Back to the OP's topic, I keep seeing that miserable harridan ("chinese mom") on the news. She seems to have gotten everything she wanted - fame (or infamy) and money. Why are we paying attention to her?!?! She reminds me of all that's bad about Kate plus 8. Famous for being a terrible mother.

ETA - I also know several people who were raised in households where academic success was the only answer. Even "repressive" cultures didn't stop kids from doing things they really wanted to do - and they're all successful and happy. Often they were the children of immigrants (note, not refugees, immigrants) whose parents were highly educated in the first place (which is why they were "allowed" into Canada). Who doesn't want their kids to achieve more than they did? (I'm going to fight tooth and nail to keep my kid out of graduate school!) This "Chinese Mom" thing won't work - as others have said, all it will do is produce maladjusted children who hate their mother.

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by Hesla

THe other aspect to this is that Medical and professional schools are starting to move away from simply GPA and how you did on your MCAT or its equivalent. They are looking for volunteering, social activities out side of school, and a strong interview. I know for a fact there were students with 4.0 GPAs not getting into Optometry school because they did so poorly on their interview.

Yes. I know a guy who has high GPA Bachelor of Science at UBC. Good score on MCAT, applied for med school only at UofC, UofA and UBC and bombed all the interviews.

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by billybob123

Back to the OP's topic, I keep seeing that miserable harridan ("chinese mom") on the news. She seems to have gotten everything she wanted - fame (or infamy) and money. Why are we paying attention to her?!?! She reminds me of all that's bad about Kate plus 8. Famous for being a terrible mother.

Because Americans are OUTRAGED!

I don't agree with alot of the article (and I'm Asian). But I wouldn't be outraged either. Everyone has a different style.

Here at the office last week, the italian lady that works in my department, her 19 year old son driving her new car wiped out on deerfoot crashing into the median. From the office, she called the tow truck, paid for it, then picked him up. The kid was fine, just a little shocked but no injuries. Then she drove him to go play soccer that night! Then she took the C-Train into work the following day cause her son needed her car.

Is this right or wrong?

[amorak]

I see a common theme here about how work ethic/ grades only get you so far and I couldn't agree more.

I articled at a Big 4 firm and our intake was likely 1/4 Chinese, due to the GPA-based nature of that industry's hiring.

It was amazing how hard the Chinese kids worked, but you rarely saw them promoted passed manager and never to partner. It's because, while they have the very important technical skills a designated accountant needs, they generally lacked the people skills and client interaction that a Senior Manger / Partner requires.

I think this woman would be correct if the Chinese were taking over the upper management of public companies and Government office, but the huge emphasis on technical proficiency has come at the expense of interpersonal skills and remains a significant reason why many Asian immigrants hit a glass ceiling that keeps them in a technical position, with little chance of a managerial promotion.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Because Americans are OUTRAGED!
Is this right or wrong?

Oh so wrong. Don't get me started on those Italians and their son-worship!

[CaptainCrunch]

In about 10 years from now this girl will be a slightly overweight unmarried spinster with a disorganized basment apartment. She will have a piano with a thin layer of dust that she uses to fold her laundry. She'll own about 10 cats, her longest relationship will have been about 6 months. She'll sit at home and watch T.V. and look at her face book page with no friends and bitterly mutter about the fact that she can't get past the middle management position at work despite her genius. She'll talk to her dad on the phone once every two weeks but find a reason not to go home to visit.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

In about 10 years from now this girl will be a slightly overweight unmarried spinster with a disorganized basment apartment. She will have a piano with a thin layer of dust that she uses to fold her laundry. She'll own about 10 cats, her longest relationship will have been about 6 months. She'll sit at home and watch T.V. and look at her face book page with no friends and bitterly mutter about the fact that she can't get past the middle management position at work despite her genius. She'll talk to her dad on the phone once every two weeks but find a reason not to go home to visit.

Sometimes your posts betray an element of artistic genius. This is one of them.

[CaptainCrunch]

shhhh I have a reputation to protect.

You can't have artistic genius and knuckle dragger in the same sentence.

[DrJ]

Originally Posted by troutman

You can't get into medical school through hard work alone. You also have to have a large measure of natural intelligence.

Originally Posted by Table 5

Or just have connections.

Connections, eh?

The only connections I know of are going to the Caribbean or Australia and buying your MD.

[troutman]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christ..._b_808344.html

Chua's argument goes against years of scientific research into what makes kids truly happy -- and successful -- in life. Moreover, it rests on a faulty premise: Rather than being overly permissive, many American parents -- especially the well-educated, affluent Americans reading excerpts in the WSJ or on Slate.com -- are overly focused on achievement already. Chua's guide to raising ever-more high-achieving children could fuel this fire, and that's scary.

Chua defines success narrowly, focusing on achievement and perfection at all costs: Success is getting straight As and being a violin or piano prodigy. Three decades of research clearly suggests that such a narrow focus on achievement can produce wildly unhappy people. Yes, they may boast perfect report cards and stunning piano recitals, but we are a country full of high-achieving but depressed and suicidal college students, a record number of whom take prescription medication for anxiety and depression.

Chua is prescribing life motivated by perfectionism -- fear of failure, fear of disappointment. Not only is this a vicious form of unhappiness, but research by Carol Dweck and many others shows that kids who are not allowed to make mistakes don't develop the resilience or grit they need later in life to overcome challenges or pick themselves up when they do fail. Perfectionists are far more likely to be depressed and anxious, and in college they are more likely to commit suicide.

If scientists have learned anything on the subject, it's that social connections are the foundation for happiness, health, and success in life. When kids build friendships through play, their social and emotional intelligence flourishes; social skills are a key predictor of success later in life. What's more, research clearly links loneliness and isolation with chronic illness and increased mortality rates, not to mention unhappiness.

Chua also recommends motivating kids through coercion and threats -- a recipe not just for unhappiness but also for unethical behavior. People who are motivated externally with threats and rewards are less creative, less able to solve problems and more likely to cheat to meet the expectations of those around them.

[CaptainCrunch]

I'm hoping that that book doesn't come in hardcopy.

Because any parent that buys that book is more then likely going to brain their kid with it.

Her book would be equivalent to buying a book of parenting tips written by Bing Crosby

Don't forget parents, if you put the oranges in a burlap sack and then beat your children, not only will there be little to no bruising but you'll have created a delicious batch of freshly squeezed orange juice.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by fotze

Whats with the playing instruments thing? Is there a more dime a dozen commodity than an asian child musical prodigy? Here is a 3 year old Donny Lee who can play the violin. Who give a rats ass. Give me the kid who can burp the alphabet.

Tiger Woods dad proved what can be accomplished when you glue a golf club to your childs hands then point a rifle at his temple and make him play golf. What an awesome person he raised. Degenerate Golf Robot.

So what your saying Fotze is that this girl is probably going to have 42 vibrators, one named for each member of the New York Jets?

[Weiser Wonder]

Originally Posted by Flames Fan, Ph.D.

1) This mother needs to watch Amadeus and realize that hard work isn't sufficient to be the best.

2) This mother needs to realize that she can't guarantee that her kids will have a good future, but she has guaranteed that they've lost some great years of being kids.

Not only has she robbed them of their childhood but also given them a childhood that will haunt them as adults. Everyone already has some emotional baggage from their childhood, these girls will have it 10 fold. There's more to life than success.

There's a line in Animal Collective's "For Reverend Green", bulimic vegetarian wins weight contest. I think it's a pretty accurate description of the likely results of her parenting style.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

In about 10 years from now this girl will be a slightly overweight unmarried spinster with a disorganized basment apartment. She will have a piano with a thin layer of dust that she uses to fold her laundry. She'll own about 10 cats, her longest relationship will have been about 6 months. She'll sit at home and watch T.V. and look at her face book page with no friends and bitterly mutter about the fact that she can't get past the middle management position at work despite her genius. She'll talk to her dad on the phone once every two weeks but find a reason not to go home to visit.

CC is a script writer?

[troutman]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

So what your saying Fotze is that this girl is probably going to have 42 vibrators, one named for each member of the New York Jets?

Sometimes your posts betray an element of artistic genius. This is one of them