Flames' Pride Night slotted for March 28 vs. LA

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

It has nothing to do with centring the feelings of allies, it’s about realising that intentions matter and good intentions with imperfect delivery is something still worth appreciating.

Someone can absolutely still be an ally while being put off by certain criticisms. Members of the community get put off by certain criticisms. Not every criticism is valid.

I also didn't say that it was completely worthless. I do hate the 'be careful what you say or you'll use allies' point. Because I think that does centre perspectives that shouldn't be centred in this conversation.

I also despite the idea that everyone takes a criticism personally, when a lot of times its about calling people in. Growing and learning together etc. All I'm saying is that if someone thinks they're being attacked and taking their ball adn go home because someone has a slightly different perspective they're not the ally they think they are.

We all live in the shades of grey, and I think we need to comfortable with that.

Edit: I'm just so tired.

[CF84]

Entire NHL teams could use rainbow tape for every single game this year. What could the league do? They would have no choice other than submitting to the players/teams. I also feel that any team that made a decision like this would go down in history as the heroes. I doubt the Flames are brave enough to do this, but I wonder if there are a few teams or players who would consider it.



It would also be interesting to see if any team making a brave and defiant decision like this would also become the most penalized team in the NHL.

[Fighting Banana Slug]

I feel like there is a business opportunity for rainbow laces. Who is with me?

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by Fighting Banana Slug

I feel like there is a business opportunity for rainbow laces. Who is with me?

I'm sure there needs to be uniform uniforms. Down to lettering, numbering etccc...

Otherwise, what would stop a team from having rainbow numbering or stickers or laces?


You're stealing from soccer, they have rainbow laces and armbands.

[Reggie Dunlop]

I have a feeling a player/players will defy the edict.

If a team doesn't distribute a pride warmup jersey, there's not much they can do. Tape? That's personal. Players control their sticks to the point of obsession.

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by reggie dunlop

i have a feeling a player/player will defy the edict.

https://twitter.com/user/status/1712138940323443039

[MissTeeks]

https://twitter.com/user/status/1712154442416738618

[bdubbs]

Good on Scott Laughton.

[powderjunkie]

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

I also didn't say that it was completely worthless. I do hate the 'be careful what you say or you'll use allies' point. Because I think that does centre perspectives that shouldn't be centred in this conversation.

I also despite the idea that everyone takes a criticism personally, when a lot of times its about calling people in. Growing and learning together etc. All I'm saying is that if someone thinks they're being attacked and taking their ball adn go home because someone has a slightly different perspective they're not the ally they think they are.

We all live in the shades of grey, and I think we need to comfortable with that.

Edit: I'm just so tired.

I kinda hear you, but I just don't think it's useful to parse and criticize off-the-cuff responses, especially when the speaker's heart is clearly in the right place.

Let's not make perfect the enemy of good. As much as we are all clamouring for a bunch of players to defy this ban, I guess we need to add inappropriately 'centering' themselves in the conversation to the many considerations and reasons to not do it.

I don't meant to be snarky here, but are there any guidelines for when/why/how I should or should not be supportive as an 'ally' (for lack of a better word)?

[Cali Panthers Fan]

The NHL and NHLPA are Wiggum at this moment.

[ben voyonsdonc]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

https://twitter.com/user/status/1712138940323443039

This type of message could be what gets the snowball rolling downhill. Good on Laughton.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Robbob

Didn't the Catholic church or Pope even recently start to soften its stance? Makes no sense that the NHL start going the other direction.

You know...it makes me wonder how Mickey Mouse it can be at times.

Canceling designated 'Pride Nights' was a pretty cowardly move. There was a little bit of controversy among a handful of players but otherwise I think it went alright, maybe dont do it every year or build up to it or something and let the objectors object.

The Pride tape thing though? This is just absolutely shooting themselves in the foot for....what? What could the NHL possibly think it stands to gain from this?

Some days it feels like:

"The season is about to begin, this is the last chance for the Adults to take a vacation before the real work starts! Wait, the Interns said what now??"

[Reggie Dunlop]

Walsh has a lot of clients... Huberdeau is one...

If this becomes an agent-led initiative it would snowball. Players would know somebody has their back.

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by powderjunkie

I don't meant to be snarky here, but are there any guidelines for when/why/how I should or should not be supportive as an 'ally' (for lack of a better word)?

ask 9 people you'll get 9 answers. Speaking up and challenging folks when you see or hear shady #### is a good place to start, because it takes the burden of the visibly queer or maybe even closeted person in the room.

Personally, I just hate the term 'ally' because I find it sort of used so much it's meaningless. I hear you though about speaking off the cuff etc. I can still #### up people's pronouns. It's a process and a journey and grace is a big part of that.

I am just tired of the 'be nicer, you'll use allies' arguement

[MRCboicgy]

Originally Posted by Locke

You know...it makes me wonder how Mickey Mouse it can be at times.

Canceling designated 'Pride Nights' was a pretty cowardly move. There was a little bit of controversy among a handful of players but otherwise I think it went alright, maybe dont do it every year or build up to it or something and let the objectors object.

The Pride tape thing though? This is just absolutely shooting themselves in the foot for....what? What could the NHL possibly think it stands to gain from this?

Some days it feels like:

"The season is about to begin, this is the last chance for the Adults to take a vacation before the real work starts! Wait, the Interns said what now??"

Watching Barn Burner with Conroy yesterday, he said something about an avalanche of memos from head office. My guess is they hoped it would get buried in there next to the one specifying the number of water bottles allowed on each bench...

[sketchyt]

Originally Posted by Cali Panthers Fan

The NHL and NHLPA are Wiggum at this moment.

That's quite an insult... to the Wiggums.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

ask 9 people you'll get 9 answers. Speaking up and challenging folks when you see or hear shady #### is a good place to start, because it takes the burden of the visibly queer or maybe even closeted person in the room.

Personally, I just hate the term 'ally' because I find it sort of used so much it's meaningless. I hear you though about speaking off the cuff etc. I can still #### up people's pronouns. It's a process and a journey and grace is a big part of that.

I am just tired of the 'be nicer, you'll use allies' arguement

But that wasn’t the argument at all. The consequence isn’t losing allies, the consequence is criticizing and giving no grace to people who have absolutely earned it.

You actively have to decide that “it is what it is” is negative, or shady. There are plenty of ways to interpret that statement, including “it speaks for itself” and “I don’t know what to say about it,” and there are 100 different reasons why someone might not be able to find the right words. All I know is that the people in my life who actually try and have good intentions are special people to me, but they’re imperfect, so I give a lot of grace, and it pisses me off when people who don’t know them give them none, so I try to at least offer the same to people whose actions have earned that.

I used to get upset and feel the need to say something by every poor word choice or imperfect expression of what someone thinks, even if the intent was good. That’s just not a fun road to live on.

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

But that wasn’t the argument at all. The consequence isn’t losing allies, the consequence is criticizing and giving no grace to people who have absolutely earned it.

You actively have to decide that “it is what it is” is negative, or shady. There are plenty of ways to interpret that statement, including “it speaks for itself” and “I don’t know what to say about it,” and there are 100 different reasons why someone might not be able to find the right words. All I know is that the people in my life who actually try and have good intentions are special people to me, but they’re imperfect, so I give a lot of grace, and it pisses me off when people who don’t know them give them none, so I try to at least offer the same to people whose actions have earned that.

I used to get upset and feel the need to say something by every poor word choice or imperfect expression of what someone thinks, even if the intent was good. That’s just not a fun road to live on.

I think I said something like it stood out to me and I didn't like it. But not that it's negative or shady, it just kinda sucks.

But, respectfully, I'm kinda sick about talking about this.

[ben voyonsdonc]

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

ask 9 people you'll get 9 answers. Speaking up and challenging folks when you see or hear shady #### is a good place to start, because it takes the burden of the visibly queer or maybe even closeted person in the room.

Personally, I just hate the term 'ally' because I find it sort of used so much it's meaningless. I hear you though about speaking off the cuff etc. I can still #### up people's pronouns. It's a process and a journey and grace is a big part of that.

I am just tired of the 'be nicer, you'll use allies' arguement

I wrote this a few years ago -

Let’s talk a bit about allyship. I don’t think an ally should ever have to call themselves an ally because their actions speak so much louder than their words. What does an ally do?

To me, an ally:

- Uses the correct gender pronouns and if they mess up, they apologize and correct themselves
- Calls out homophobic and transphobic behaviour when they see or hear it
- Listens when they need to listen, learns when they need to learn, speaks out when they need to speak out, acts when they need to act, leads when they need to lead, follows when they need to follow
- Respects queer spaces - for example: bringing drunken bachelor/bachelorette parties to queer spaces isn’t always problematic but definitely can become problematic!
- Showing up at a pride parade is, at best, a very minimum standard. It’s welcome but queer issues are not a one day a year event but a 365 days (or 366) a year reality.
- Respects the entire alphabet - not just a single letter. The queer community is not just gay men or lesbians. It is a diverse group of people who have very different experiences and face different challenges. You are either an ally to the entire queer community or you are not an ally at all.
- Is willing to take a public stand. Learn about the queer issues that are being dealt with today and do something about them.
- Doesn’t see their work to support queer people as a threat to their own heterosexuality. An ally is ok being viewed as possibly being queer because they don’t feel the need to broadcast their own sexuality when fighting for others.
- Adopts an intersectional approach to understanding queer and gender issues. Understand privilege dynamics and how race, religion, gender identity, economic status, sexual orientation, and disabilities intersect to create different experiences. Embrace our different experiences rather than assume that queer people all have similar life experiences.
- Avoids seeing their queer friends as only defined by exclusively by their queerness. Queer people aren’t mascots. We don’t want to be your “sassy gay coworker”. We want to be your friend or your coworker.

Being an ally is hard work but genuine allies are a huge part of making social change.

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

"An ally agrees with my very specific ideology and lens through which I see power dynamics in society, which I have decided is automatically righteous, and engages in all activities and steps I personally expect them to do to support that ideology!"

Just a brutal, exclusionary, holier-than-thou approach to "inclusiveness".