Getting back together with a ex?

[Antithesis]

Have you considered some of the dating websites? I mean, take this with a grain of salt as I've not been single for over a decade, but why not try to use the tools you have available to you? It kind of sounds to me like you might be missing the idea of being with someone rather than her specifically.

[annasuave]

Do you regret breaking up with her? Not the breaking up part - the breaking up with her. When you look back, do you think "Wow. What was I thinking to let her slip through my fingers?" Or on the whole, was breaking up with her an experience that sent your in new directions and caused you to branch out in life?

I've seen folks get back together after a year, 2-years, (and in one case, 10) and found themselves happy and fulfilled in the relationship after, or because of, the break. And then we've all seen train-wrecks caused by folks getting back together who should have just kept running after the break up.

I think for the most part, people do stay the same. But that doesn't mean they're not capable of changing. Maybe she has grown up. Maybe you have too. If you think about her and regret what you lost and feel enthusiastic about what could be - then by all means - date this woman again and see what comes of it. It can't be any worse than anything you've already been through.

Fear is a lousy foundation for a relationship. If you're just feeling sad, lonely, or scared that you may never meet the right woman for you - yikes! Just keep running.

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by krynski

What if you didn't do something wrong?

If 2 people are fighting, and neither of them did anything wrong, then why are they fighting? I am willing to guess that 90+% of the time, someone did something wrong, and the rest of the time someone just thinks someone did something wrong, but they didn't.

[Weiser Wonder]

Originally Posted by Rathji

If 2 people are fighting, and neither of them did anything wrong, then why are they fighting? I am willing to guess that 90+% of the time, someone did something wrong, and the rest of the time someone just thinks someone did something wrong, but they didn't.

And a lot of time relationship fights, you give your partner a little leeway to be irrational by still meeting them half way. While you don't want it to go too far, relationships are extremely emotional things, which often leads to extremely emotional thinking. No one can or should be expected to think rationally 100% of the time and a good partner realizes that.

[PurposeDriven]

Originally Posted by Rutuu

5. Finally...move (not to Edmonton)
a) Ever here a buddy from Vancouver/Toronto/Montreal b!tching about having a gf?...I don't know if it's lowered expectations or different demographics, but there is an issue here, so why not try somewhere else.

My 2cents.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say if you have to move to another city to find a girl, my guess is the problem is you not the girls. And you probably wont have any luck in that city either. I'm sure it makes you feel better to blame in on the city though.

[Ozy_Flame]

Originally Posted by PurposeDriven

I'm going to go out on a limb and say if you have to move to another city to find a girl, my guess is the problem is you not the girls. And you probably wont have any luck in that city either. I'm sure it makes you feel better to blame in on the city though.

No he's right. It's easier to pick up in those cities because there are lots more women. Calgary is a full on dude-city.

[PurposeDriven]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

No he's right. It's easier to pick up in those cities because there are lots more women. Calgary is a full on dude-city.

I have one friend that says that and he's a bit of an ass with no game. And all my other male friends rag on him for it. They dont seem to have a problem finding girls. The problem is most guys have the attitude that there are no women so they're not gonna find any which hello.... with that attidude you're right you're not going to find one.

If you want to find a girl to date you're better off having your friends set you up, then it doesnt matter if there are more guys than girls like it does in a bar. Girls know guys getting drunk in a bar arent looking for a wife, they're looking to get laid so yah they're going to be picky. For me, I dont even give guys in a bar a chance, i'm not interested in meeting a guy in a bar. I'm out to have fun with my friends, and drunk guys creeping on me is not attractive. However, same guy, different situation, I'd probably give him a chance.

It just seems ridiculous that there are 100's of thousands of women and you cant find just one? So moving is your solution? Plenty of guys have gf's and wifes, they did it so why can't you?

(not saying you in particular)

[Jordan!]

I may be in the process of doing this myself.. see: "Where to travel after a breakup" thread.. Do you know how rare a nice asian girl is in Arizona??

[Ozy_Flame]

Originally Posted by PurposeDriven

I have one friend that says that and he's a bit of an ass with no game. And all my other male friends rag on him for it. They dont seem to have a problem finding girls. The problem is most guys have the attitude that there are no women so they're not gonna find any which hello.... with that attidude you're right you're not going to find one.

If you want to find a girl to date you're better off having your friends set you up, then it doesnt matter if there are more guys than girls like it does in a bar. Girls know guys getting drunk in a bar arent looking for a wife, they're looking to get laid so yah they're going to be picky. For me, I dont even give guys in a bar a chance, i'm not interested in meeting a guy in a bar. I'm out to have fun with my friends, and drunk guys creeping on me is not attractive. However, same guy, different situation, I'd probably give him a chance.

It just seems ridiculous that there are 100's of thousands of women and you cant find just one? So moving is your solution? Plenty of guys have gf's and wifes, they did it so why can't you?

(not saying you in particular)

I don't have a problem here in Calgary, I just find that the playing the game is more difficult in Calgary cause a lot of the decent ones I would be interested in are taken. It's just easier to approach women in larger cities with more of a metropolitan, urban setting because alot of those types tend to stay single longer into their twenties.

Another reason I've experienced is that a fair number of single women in Calgary also tend to be bitter into their late twenties, largely because A) they haven't found a guy yet, or B) they've already been through a long-term relationship / marriage that ended poorly. They bring said bitterness into new relationships and don't trust as easily, and as a result, put up their guard as an instinctive reaction. Guys aren't stupid either; most of us can tell when a women is 'damaged goods' because of a past relationship. But that's human nature - it's hard to forget past experiences.

Meeting women isn't hard, per say, in Calgary; it's just that it's harder to meet the ones you want to meet, and there doesn't seem to be a culture as open to casual dating and meeting people as other larger metro areas. Just my experience.

[malcolmk14]

People should find someone they want to spend the rest of their life with and then decide they want to get married, not the other way around.

[TopChed]

I could see it working better if there was a clean break. But it seems like you guys have kept in close touch after breaking up. When your ex is still in your life, it's really hard to move on.

Either you'll get back together with her and learn your lesson, or you should cut off contact until you have a chance to get over her. If you still see her and wonder "what if", you can't be friends IMHO.

[jeremywilhelm]

I'm starting to get this strange feeling that Crunch has recently been spurned by a female.

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Originally Posted by Bouw N Arrow

I may be in the process of doing this myself.. see: "Where to travel after a breakup" thread.. Do you know how rare a nice girl is??

fyp

[KTrain]

What should I do?:

A)Get back with her?
B)Say F it and focus on other prospects?

This is probably an a-hole thing to say but if you're posting questions like this on an online message board you probably haven't matured enough to get married so I wouldn't sweat it. No one here can answer these questions for you and you should know that.

[theonlywhiteout]

Originally Posted by KTrain;2860615[B

]This is probably an a-hole thing [/B]to say but if you're posting questions like this on an online message board you probably haven't matured enough to get married so I wouldn't sweat it. No one here can answer these questions for you and you should know that.

You're right, since when is asking advice from ones piers an immature thing to do?

[STeeLy]

Originally Posted by Bouw N Arrow

I may be in the process of doing this myself.. see: "Where to travel after a breakup" thread.. Do you know how rare a nice asian girl is in Arizona??

You need to go to California.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by jeremywilhelm

I'm starting to get this strange feeling that Crunch has recently been spurned by a female.

I've earned my guarded nature honestly.

[llama64]

Honestly - how can anyone here accurately answer this question without pictures?

[Jordan!]

Ok, just want to add. After talking for a week with my ex.. it's clear as day that some people don't change. Same $%^ different pile. Flashes of hope and then boom... same old nonsense.

Find someone else.. it's what I'm going to do.

[squiggs96]

So she's available?