I Don't Have a Facebook Account

[KTrain]

2 more sleeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NBC]

Originally Posted by Locke

I have determined that Facebook is populated only by either the criminally lazy or insanely desperate and that it is, in fact, a cruel and unusual method of torture.

I prove this logic as I am on Facebook because my soccer team got tired of sending out emails, because those were a real whore. Email is a bitch, I know, what a hassle.

The rest of Facebook that isnt my lazyass soccer team are entirely too desperate to ensure that you, and everyone you know, are aware and kept fully up to date of every single aspect of their lives. That wrong turn you took on your way to work, the funny smell coming out of your ass after drinking that expired malk (<- No typo) and the fact that their boyfriend/girlfriend/transexual partner is either crazy or a dick.

The kind of stuff where, I honestly dont care. I barely care about my own life, I sure as hell dont care about anyone else's.

Further still, Facebook being a cruel and unusual method of torture. I arrived at this conclusion by the simplest form of logic. I was once subjected to someone's holiday photograph slideshow. It was hell. Now the basterds can get me anywhere, I dont even have to be in the same room! Ergo, torture.

Facebook is Internet Terrorism and its funded by the extreme right wing Pastafarians and the Bilderberger Group. True Story, look it up.

Nice rant Locke. Keep it up.

[Cowperson]

I have determined that Facebook is populated only by either the criminally lazy or insanely desperate and that it is, in fact, a cruel and unusual method of torture.

Every week my sister posts a link to "Niagara Region Police Summaries" for the rest of the world to really get into . . . . . not even mocking her for it deters her. She can't seriously think anyone gives a hoot . . . . well, maybe she does. Unbelievable.

On the other hand, my wife's nephew posting photo's of deadly, poisonous snakes and musings of ominious, nearby guerilla activity/helicopter gunships from the jungles of Nigeria where's working on a rig is the daily stuff you kind of look forward to. If he's still posting it's also a good sign he's still alive.

Facebook has brought me back in touch with relatives I'd probably never talk to in 20 years so I'm good with it for the most part.

I fired an aunt and her daugher (my cousin) after they were posting conspiracy theory links (Alex Jones, et al) sometimes hourly. Sometimes you find out things about people you didn't need to know. Not sure how that's going to play out at the next big funeral.

Cowperson

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Cowperson

I fired an aunt and her daugher (my cousin) after they were posting conspiracy theory links (Alex Jones, et al) sometimes hourly. Sometimes you find out things about people you didn't need to know. Not sure how that's going to play out at the next big funeral.

Cowperson

See, again, the evils of Facebook: If it had been at a family function and she'd whipped out the Alex Jones 'George W destroyed the WTC with nothing but a hacksaw and some bubble gum' you'd give her a weird look and as politely as possible make your way to assault the cocktail weenie tray.

But through the embarrassingly public 'de-friending' process on Facebook, effectively a scene has been made.

In real life we're not bound to concrete relationship definitions, we can just walk away and limit contact subtly and let the assumptions in terms of status fall where they may, whereas on the 'Book, you're either there or you're not.

[Yeah_Baby]

Thats not totally true Locke. I have family members that added me that I 'can't delete. You just limit access or even ignore their updates and hide them from your newsfeed. The online equivalent of walking away. Or getting wasted with your 17 year old cousin at the wedding because you can barely stand the rest of your cousins and then having a dance off. But I digress.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

Thats not totally true Locke. I have family members that added me that I 'can't delete. You just limit access or even ignore their updates and hide them from your newsfeed. The online equivalent of walking away. Or getting wasted with your 17 year old cousin at the wedding because you can barely stand the rest of your cousins and then having a dance off. But I digress.

Sounds like you might need to hug that out with MRCboicgy or benvoyondonc.

But thats my point, you have an obligation to these people that you'd rather not have and unfortunately, despite privacy settings, your options are to either tell these people to pound sand and weather the backlash or put up with it.

So, back to a form of torture, its like goddamn 'family reunion hell' every time you log in. Sounds like torture to me.

[V]

I like the way Facebook does it now. All those mothers with their stupid kids are put on ignore, and it's like they don't exist anymore. They have no idea, I don't have to go through anything awkward, and I never have to see that "Johnny said the cutest thing today". Everyone's happy.

[J pold]

Some of my friends on facebook are getting married and the whole process seems so outrageous. From estimation it goes something like this:

Relationship status goes from "in a relationship" to "engaged". This is immediately followed by a mass influx of comments by a bunch of girls along of line of "OMG congrats!!!!"----------> Some time later pre-wedding pictures come out. This is immediately followed by a mass influx of comments by a bunch of girls along of line of "OMG you guys r so cuttee!!!"----------> Relationship status goes from "engaged" to "married"-------->This is immediately followed by a mass influx of comments by a bunch of girls along of line of "OMG congrats!!!!".

Now I'm all very happy because some of these people are my long time good friends. But I have to admit I'm patiently waiting for the day one of these people gets divorced and the widely entertaining s**t-show that is bound to follow.

[Kybosh]

Originally Posted by J pold

Some of my friends on facebook are getting married and the whole process seems so outrageous. From estimation it goes something like this:

Relationship status goes from "in a relationship" to "engaged". This is immediately followed by a mass influx of comments by a bunch of girls along of line of "OMG congrats!!!!"----------> Some time later pre-wedding pictures come out. This is immediately followed by a mass influx of comments by a bunch of girls along of line of "OMG you guys r so cuttee!!!"----------> Relationship status goes from "engaged" to "married"-------->This is immediately followed by a mass influx of comments by a bunch of girls along of line of "OMG congrats!!!!".

Now I'm all very happy because some of these people are my long time good friends. But I have to admit I'm patiently waiting for the day one of these people gets divorced and the widely entertaining s**t-show that is bound to follow.

Just wait until they have kids. . .

[J pold]

Originally Posted by Kybosh

Just wait until they have kids. . .

Oh god.....

I hadn't even considered that.

[Hanni]

Anyone post this yet? In nsfw tags due to length.

NSFW!

[red '00]

I made a facebook account for my cat.

[Yeah_Baby]

My friends wife made one for their dog. Maybe I should just delete my facebook account.

[Rathji]

One of the last things I posted on Facebook before today was a picture of my wife holding a giant handful of my son's crap that she caught mid-change.

Today, I logged in for the first time in a long time just because I used and abused Facebook to get 768MB more Dropbox space. Here is the link if you want the free space and have a Dropbox account. Just delete the application from your permissions afterwards if you are concerned about it (which is what I did).

here is a referral link for Dropbox if you have not signed up yet. Free extra space for you and me if you use that link.