Bullying in schools, what can be done?

[boogerz]

Originally Posted by Rifleman

Take all the bullies and enroll them into hockey school....
A hockey school run by Graham James.

I kid. I kid.

Sometimes it's best just to move the child to a different school. There was this one kid I knew back in jr. high that was bullied mercilessly because he was overweight and always word Def Leppard t-shirts. Everyone would take shots at this kid, and his attempted comebacks would earn him even more scorn and derision. He eventually moved schools, and after running into him at Franklin Mall one night with my mom while out shopping for cheap shoes, he told me he liked his new school a lot better and people there didn't make fun of him all the time.

Some schools just have a bunch of bad apples, and they unfortunately spoil the cart. (By drawing graffiti all over it, no less.)

I'd have to agree with this post. Both parts of it

Seriously though, when I was in grade 9 one of my classmates was mercilessly bullied mentally and physically by the same 6-7 kids day in and day out to the point where his father pulled him out of the school three months into semester. Apparently he ever denies going to that school, and frankly, I don't blame him. It was one of the most terrible things I've ever seen. This was also a private school with a class size of 15 kids so the bullying was inescapable.

It's hard to put a definite standard on how to deal with bullying since each case is fairly different, but the suspension crap definitely does not work. As stated before most kids do not enjoy going to school, moreso now than in the past since all the extra-curricular activities being cut/removed. A few days off does nothing.

The Graham James method seems like the best way to deal with it.

[PyramidsofMars]

man, what public school system is everyone else in? I wasn't a popular kid in high school. I'm quiet (unless you get me started on something), withdrawn, shy, odd, etc. I was probably a prime target for bullying. The closest I got to being bullied was this in my gym class who made stupid comments about me, but I just brushed it off and ignored him, and he stopped like two classes later. I never thought of that as bullying, really, though. Most people in my high school just ignored me, I was never bullied.

I mean, I don't really understand what gets people bullied. If I wasn't bullied then I can't really comprehend others getting bullied. Maybe my high school was just exceptionally sensible.

[North East Goon]

Pepper Spray!

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by Sliver

So you're saying you're in favour of more education?

Maybe instead of making math more and more advanced younger and younger they could teach mandatory hand to hand combat skills. Basics like blocks and throws and stuff. Disabling moves.

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by PyramidsofMars

man, what public school system is everyone else in? I wasn't a popular kid in high school. I'm quiet (unless you get me started on something), withdrawn, shy, odd, etc. I was probably a prime target for bullying. The closest I got to being bullied was this in my gym class who made stupid comments about me, but I just brushed it off and ignored him, and he stopped like two classes later. I never thought of that as bullying, really, though. Most people in my high school just ignored me, I was never bullied.

I mean, I don't really understand what gets people bullied. If I wasn't bullied then I can't really comprehend others getting bullied. Maybe my high school was just exceptionally sensible.

My high school was similar, no one really got bullied. Jr. High was a different story, it was very common. It was probably because everyone at my Jr. High came from a wealthy neighbourhood where the parents were oblivious. High school its definitely a different mix, with kids from everywhere.

[Phaneuf3]

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/saskatchewa...n-lawsuit.html

School board reacts quickly and punishes bullies who beat up disabled child then tried to steal his prosthetic leg. Just kidding, after the kid's parents complained the school banned the victim and his sister from riding on the bus

[Swayze11]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Maybe instead of making math more and more advanced younger and younger they could teach mandatory hand to hand combat skills. Basics like blocks and throws and stuff. Disabling moves.

Am I the only one who thought of Dwight Shrute when reading this?

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by Phaneuf3

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/saskatchewa...n-lawsuit.html

School board reacts quickly and punishes bullies who beat up disabled child then tried to steal his prosthetic leg. Just kidding, after the kid's parents complained the school banned the victim and his sister from riding on the bus

A 13 year old kid gave a 5 year old disabled kid a black eye. Thats fuggin pathetic.

[steveo]

was bullied when i was a kid in elementary. in gr 4 i took it from a few kids older than me. gr 5 came, i couldn't take it no more so i beat the snot out of one of the older kids. from that day forth never have i been picked on again.

[PyramidsofMars]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

My high school was similar, no one really got bullied. Jr. High was a different story, it was very common. It was probably because everyone at my Jr. High came from a wealthy neighbourhood where the parents were oblivious. High school its definitely a different mix, with kids from everywhere.

my parents taught English and Physics at a college in the Arab Gulf when I woulda been in junior high, so I ended up at a British private school. No bullying.

[WilsonFourTwo]

Originally Posted by old-fart

As much as I hate to say it, your son did the right thing and the 3 day suspension is probably worth it in the long run.

Agree completely.

I was fairly lucky growing up and only ever faced one bully (grade 8). He was the kind that would get very physical, throw ya against walls, slap/punch when you weren't expecting it....the typical small-dick bag who's sh-tty home life had to thrust outward at other people.

I ignored him.....he would go out of his way to get at me.
I tried soliciting help....not really anything that a teacher can do to force him to stop.
I confronted him.....it spurred him on (proved he was getting to me).

Finally, I busted his arm in class......problem solved. It was malicious, completely over the top and something that I'm still proud of (20 years later). That little frakker never bothered any of us again and it was a formative moment in my life.

Listen up OP.....Your kid should know the three lessons from that experience:

1. You don't EVER have to accept abuse.
2. Violence as a last resort to protect yourself is perfectly acceptable.
3. Don't be an a--hole to other people.

Teach your kid how to throw a quality jab. Then teach him how to twist someone's arm until it breaks. Just make sure he understands what 'last resort' really means.

[T@T]

The only time I was ever bullied was by 2 brothers who lived just down the street from me, I was a pitcher in little league and I beaned one in the head one day. after that everytime they saw me alone they would jump me and beat me up. after the 4th time my dad got pissed. he grabbed me and said "lets go" I'll settle this. we went to their house and dad told the father. we need to see your boys! the father asked why, dad said because my son is going to kick the crap out of them "one at a time"

The brothers refused to come outside and that was the end of it. whenever they saw me afterwards they would go the other way.

I think that experience shaped me in some way, because all threw school when I saw someone getting picked on I was the first to step in, I must have had 50-60 fights between the ages of 13-17 and most were because I didn't like these "tough guys" picking on smaller kids.

[Jetsfan]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I think that most schools are moving to a zero tolerance rule on bullying, its no longer a suspension, its moving to expulsion.

I didn't have a growth spurt until I was in Grade 10, so the good Captain usually got bullied. I was also pretty shy back then. I would have the occassional fight and usually got my butt kicked in which doesn't discourage bullies. Once I learned to fight maybe not to win, but to really hurt people things turned around for me. In my day my old man encouraged me to stand up for myself and fight, it was the old "Hows the other guy line" If I complained that someone was bullying me, the old man would stare at me for a second, swear under his breath and ask me what I was going to do about it.

Because of that great advice, I became more pro-active and basically challenged the guys who would bully me each and every day, even if they didn't do anything to me, I wanted to make them back down. I would make sure that each time I fought them, I would do something to make then bleed, or make them wish that they didn't fight me. I remember slamming one guys head in the locker door because he wouldn't stop riding me. Another guy I threw down a flight of stairs because he had shoved me down a flight of stairs the day before.

Bully's really don't respect you if you stand up to them, they'll just bring in more of their buddies to help out in the fun. But if you eventually break the leader the rest will fall into line. If a bully suddenly starts showing up with a black eye, or with a missing tooth, or a knee the size of a grapefruit, he's eventually going to back off and move on.

But its different know days because there really is no honor system, we read about stabbings and swarmings and people getting jumped from behind. In my day even if you were pissed off the fights were one on one, you usually didn't kick your opponent when he was down, and jumping someone from behind was the ultimate act of a gutless coward.

I had a buddy of mine and his wife over for dinner last year and the discussion turned to bullying, and the wife said that not only was she going to teach her boy to turn the other cheek, but to take it further and try to befriend the bully because he was mis-understood. I looked at my friend who was nodding his head in agreement because she was so damn smart, and remarked that they'd better teach their kid to hid his lunch money underneath his nuts because other wise he was never going to eat lunch, and he was going to become the school's whipping boy.

Kids only understand one thing, they don't understand lame gestures like trying to be their friend, or turning the other cheek, or hugging a bully because he needs it. They need to understand the what dogs know. The only way to become the alpha, the only way to get rid of bullies is to make bullying unpleasant.

Even if the kid gets beat up, if he can lay in one really good painful lick, eventually the bully will back up.

Oh and take the initiative.

Sad but true.

As a kid I learned this lesson from my Dad.

He grew up on a farm and they had these dogs which lived outside.

Whenever one of these dogs came near us he would give them a kick and glare at them.

The dogs never touched us.

[Jetsfan]

Originally Posted by wilsonfourtwo

agree completely.

I was fairly lucky growing up and only ever faced one bully (grade 8). He was the kind that would get very physical, throw ya against walls, slap/punch when you weren't expecting it....the typical small-dick bag who's sh-tty home life had to thrust outward at other people.

I ignored him.....he would go out of his way to get at me.
I tried soliciting help....not really anything that a teacher can do to force him to stop.
I confronted him.....it spurred him on (proved he was getting to me).

Finally, i busted his arm in class......problem solved. It was malicious, completely over the top and something that i'm still proud of (20 years later). That little frakker never bothered any of us again and it was a formative moment in my life.

Listen up op.....your kid should know the three lessons from that experience:

1. You don't ever have to accept abuse.
2. Violence as a last resort to protect yourself is perfectly acceptable.
3. Don't be an a--hole to other people.

Teach your kid how to throw a quality jab. Then teach him how to twist someone's arm until it breaks. Just make sure he understands what 'last resort' really means.

awesome!

[FlamesAddiction]

When I was 7, my family moved to a really small town up north. I was bullied for the first little while while by the First Nations kids (as most white kids were), but it wasn't something that a little bit rage didn't correct early enough..

Honestly, I do feel sorry for kids who are bullied, especially kids who move into it. I can really relate to that Irish girl who moved to the U.S. from Ireland and was bullied until she committed suicide. I think kids need to learn to stick up for themselves, and as well, they need to feel like they are allowed to. All this; "tell an adult" crap doesn't help as it just makes the situation worse. They get a reputation as a rat and a wuss, and the bullying will just continue.

Of course, some kids just can't physically or mentally stand up for themselves, in which case their only recourse it to get help from an adult. Other kids need to be taught to intervene in those situations and to not fall into the mob mentality of bullying. They should be promoted to stand up for kids that can't stand up for themselves.

[Traditional_Ale]

I think the most important thing is for any kid to learn is that getting punched, even in the face, isn't all that bad when you're a kid because nobody can really hit that hard. Once the kid isn't afraid of taking his lumps then the world changes.

[photon]

It's easy to say "teach them to stand up for themselves..".. that's kind of the whole point of growing up, to learn how to be adults, how to stand up for yourself, all that kind of thing.

These are KIDS, in the process of growing up and learning.. if they don't learn fast enough or well enough or don't have someone who can teach them that, then what, suffer in torment until they kill themselves?

Tell the six year old kid who collapsed and died of terror to stand up to the pack of bullies.

Sure you can break the other kid's arm.. maybe he leaves it alone, maybe he comes back with a knife.

[HOOT]

Kids being kids. In Victoria they take it too far IMO. My little brothers friend got suspended for a week for writing on a girls facebook page that she was an idiot in regards to something she posted. A week for saying "you're an idiot"....wow!

I found in school they would pick on people for any reason. Heck, even my best friend and I would get harassed because we drove the two nicest vehicles in school. Somehow they tried to make us feel bad because I had more than them, but that's just how kids are. I guess it was my problem they were poor.

[CaptainCrunch]

Every kid should be forced to read The Red Badge of Courage.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

And we all know how well that worked, don't we Nancy-boy

Sorry Miss, I couldn't see you over the size of my enormous balls.