Baby on the way... tips for a first time parent? - Page 5 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Shazam · 02-09-2010, 11:15 AM

Wow that's gotta be a close friend. Sometimes during labour the mother will poop from all the pushing.

Peanut · 02-09-2010, 11:18 AM

Oh yeah, thought of another thing... the phrase "you just don't understand until you have kids" is pretentious and condescending. But then you actually have kids and find out that sometimes it really is true.

Traditional_Ale · 02-09-2010, 11:19 AM

I am never ever having kids. I don't care how happy you all think you are, you poor poor self deluded bahstards. I hope your poo-filled diapers, puke plastered clothes/carpets/furnature/pets, sleepless nights after night after night after night, and complete lack of social life comfort you while you know the rest of your friends are out there wishing you were with them while they chase tail, get wasted and stoned and go looking for hot girls and other adventures.

But you'll fade away to them too, and it will be like it all never happened.

Mmmmmm...beer.

BlackAce · 02-09-2010, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

I am never ever having kids. I don't care how happy you all think you are, you poor poor self deluded bahstards. I hope your poo-filled diapers, puke plastered clothes/carpets/furnature/pets, sleepless nights after night after night after night, and complete lack of social life comfort you while you know the rest of your friends are out there wishing you were with them while they chase tail, get wasted and stoned and go looking for hot girls and other adventures.

But you'll fade away to them too, and it will be like it all never happened.

Mmmmmm...beer.

Wow... well said for a very sad, very lonely, dejected guy... I actually look forward to "friends" like you disappearing or growing up just a little...

I think I'm going to have a beer tonight to toast my wonderful and beautiful daughter... Mmmm beer!

Traditional_Ale · 02-09-2010, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackAce

Wow... well said for a very sad, very lonely, dejected guy... I actually look forward to "friends" like you disappearing or growing up just a little...

I think I'm going to have a beer tonight to toast my wonderful and beautiful daughter... Mmmm beer!

Did I seriously need the green text?

I think you were a little trigger happy on that fly-by there. Come on, BlackAce, the pattern was full!

You Need a Thneed · 02-09-2010, 11:29 AM

Borrow things like Swings, Bumbos, Baby Bjorns, if you can. They are expensive, and you have no idea before using them if your kid actually likes being in them. Plus, even if they do like them, they don't fit in them for very long.

We find that Life brand diapers (shoppers Drug mart) work well, for less money than the name brands.

Trust your instincts for the most part. Don't wait until 6 months to feed your baby solids (like they tell you to) if your kid eats far too often. Don't waste too much money buying "outfits" for the first while, just dress them up in onesies and sleepers, they grow out of stuff so fast at the start.

If you are planning to have more kids, buy the onesies (and as many clothes as possible- especially the expensive stuff like jackets) in gender neutral colours, so that you can use them again even if your next kid is the opposite gender. For many things, this can actually be fairly hard to find. When we were looking or snow pants for our 2 year old daughter, The boys ones at The Children's Place were grey, and the girls ones of the same style were pink. We got the grey ones.

Speaking of The Children's Place, the one up in South Edmonton Common up in Edmonton has lots of clearance stuff - you can often find some articles of clothing cheaper on the clearance racks that you could ever find the same thing used at a consignment store. The Children's Place at CIM may have some of the same clearance stuff, I haven't been in there yet to see.

BlackAce · 02-09-2010, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Did I seriously need the green text?

I think you were a little trigger happy on that fly-by there. Come on, BlackAce, the pattern was full!

Naaaa, finger always on the trigger... and it's really never full enough to squeek one in on dumbasses... don't ya think?

Table 5 · 02-09-2010, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shazam

So you're the creepy uncle at the family functions.

You're way off. I'm not an uncle.

Traditional_Ale · 02-09-2010, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackAce

Naaaa, finger always on the trigger... and it's really never full enough to squeek one in on dumbasses... don't ya think?

You have five high speed passes by air control towers and one admirals daughter! Your family name isn't the best in the Navy. You got to be doing it better and cleaner than all the other guys, now whats the matter with you?

BlackAce · 02-09-2010, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Table 5

You're way off. I'm not an uncle.

Thank god for that! And please stick by not ever having kids... The world's prisons are full up!

Table 5 · 02-09-2010, 11:37 AM

Yeah, I'm sure you're the world's best dad.

BlackAce · 02-09-2010, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Table 5

Yeah, I'm sure you're the world's best dad.

... And I have the mug to prove it!

02-09-2010, 11:54 AM

Baby wipes are the new "must-have-accessory"!

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showpos...4&postcount=87

-Be prepared to have your wife replaced by a crazy-emotional-fat mess for the first couple of weeks. (just nod and agree, because as stated before: you're wrong even though you may be right)

-Buy wifey some little gifts and stash them for when she gets really down. But DO NOT buy her candy... she'll just flip on you "Are you seriously trying to make me FATTER!!!??"

-Once again: Buy used when you can.

-Skin care:Lanolin is your wifes new best friend. It helps with chapped nipples and I find it helps with dry skin/excema on the baby. Olive oil is not a condiment...GREAT for baby's dry skin and for cradle cap. Zincofax will cure diaper rash very quickly. Problem skin areas to check frequently: behind the ears (I thought I was washing behind there... but dried baby puke congeals pretty good. You need to scrape it off) arm pits and any other fold.

-if you travel get one of these: http://www.gogobabyz.com/product-i14...ravelmate.aspx

-buy one of these: http://www.sleepsheepandfriends.com/sheep.html We have a sheep and a dolphin... it's puts Ryley to sleep in a snap.

-if you use soothers, use these:

and buy 50 of them... they're like socks, there's an alternate universe that sucks them up like a black hole. Buy these at Toys-r-us, they're cheaper there than Bo Bebe... come to think of it everything at Bo Bebe is expensive.

-E-children= best customer service EVER! That's where we got our stroller and car seat.

-baby clothes: never buy anything full price!

-buy batteries @ the Dollar store and stock up... because EVERYTHING you will buy for the next 18 years will need eight AA's. Buy stock in Energizer.

-If wifey delivers naturally: have one of these @ home

She'll say she doesn't need it, but as soon as she sits on it, she will thank you.

-everything you learned @ birth class gets tossed out the window.

-God bless drugs! Ask for extra Gravol with her morphine. I wish I had done this... it would have saved mehalf a day of puking

-Pray to the preggo-gods that she doesn't have to go through 42 hours of labour like me

psicodude · 02-09-2010, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flame On

I too will be a Dad for the first time in July. This thread is not encouraging. But actually it's good to have the reality.
I guess my Modern Warfare II days are numbered.

Pre-kid, I played xbox for 20 - 30 hours a week, easy.

Now, I struggle for 5 hours.

Yeah, I suck.

Shazam · 02-09-2010, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Table 5

You're way off. I'm not an uncle.

But you're still creepy, right

tvp2003 · 02-09-2010, 12:22 PM

Wow, thanks everyone for all the tips, advice, encouragement, and CP randomness. Too many posts to thank and/or quote -- suffice it to say it is appreciated

Sliver · 02-09-2010, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puxlut

-Buy wifey some little gifts and stash them for when she gets really down. But DO NOT buy her candy... she'll just flip on you "Are you seriously trying to make me FATTER!!!??"

Yeah gifts are a good idea. One day my wife was having a particularly bad day with our first and I was feeling very helpless. I wanted to make it all better for her so I gave her a $100 bill. We laugh about it now, but at the time she looked at me like "WTF do you expect me to do with this?" lol.

shermanator · 02-09-2010, 12:39 PM

For some reason this thread reminds me of this quote:

Homer - "It's a boy, and WHAT A BOY!"
Doctor - "No, that's the umbilical cord"

Northendzone · 02-09-2010, 12:43 PM

this thread got me thinking back to when my son was born - my wife was in labour for almost 24 hours (from 4 am to 4 am) - at 20 hours (about midnight) she just started talking non-stop about the most random inane stuff, and I was trying to sleep a bit. I fianlly had enough and told her to relax and be quiet......

Bigtime · 02-09-2010, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Table 5

Do your wives make you stay in the room when it's born? Or can you stay out in the waiting room like a proper gentleman? Because that's one thing I really don't want to be a part of. I don't care what type of life-altering experience it is, I'm pretty sure I'd never want to go near my wife again after seeing her vagina being split apart like wet pine.

Table 5 you are the best. Mad Men waiting room style all the way, what the heck was I doing in the room proper when that kid popped out?

8 months later and it has been a blast with "Littletime" around the condo. Sure the nights are much less restful but its all forgotten when you get home from work and your baby is just full of smiles to see you!