The age old question: your good friends ex-girl

[llama64]

"The Code" is a bunch of machismo "bro" bullsh*t. The only thing that matters here is how a person relates to their friend.

He dumped her (based on what I read). Ergo, what the hell should he care what you do. If this friend is the type to try beating your ass for taking advantage of an open situation, this isn't a good friend. Honestly, the friend should be happy you're getting some, cuz obviously he has other girls to keep him occupied.

And guys... having sex with any girl could be construed as having sex with all her ex-partners. Unless you are very lucky, chances are you aren't dating a virgin. Get over it.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally Posted by llama64

"The Code" is a bunch of machismo "bro" bullsh*t. The only thing that matters here is how a person relates to their friend.

He dumped her (based on what I read). Ergo, what the hell should he care what you do. If this friend is the type to try beating your ass for taking advantage of an open situation, this isn't a good friend. Honestly, the friend should be happy you're getting some, cuz obviously he has other girls to keep him occupied.

And guys... having sex with any girl could be construed as having sex with all her ex-partners. Unless you are very lucky, chances are you aren't dating a virgin. Get over it.

Well, I don't think so at all. Your friends -- and I'm talking the close ones, not mere acquaintances -- will be there for you for life if the relationship can stand the test of time. My father still sees his friends from when he was young a few times a month and they've been friends for over 30 years.

It's not a "macho" thing for me... it's more about valuing your friendships with the ones who truly deserve it and walking away from the temptations of some random girl who likely won't be around sooner than you might want to believe at the moment.

[llama64]

Originally Posted by HelloHockeyFans

Well, I don't think so at all. Your friends -- and I'm talking the close ones, not mere acquaintances -- will be there for you for life if the relationship can stand the test of time. My father still sees his friends from when he was young a few times a month and they've been friends for over 30 years.

It's not a "macho" thing for me... it's more about valuing your friendships with the ones who truly deserve it and walking away from the temptations of some random girl who likely won't be around sooner than you might want to believe at the moment.

That's the thing. There is no point servicing friendships that can't take a hit like this. The context here is that the friend ditched the girl. He holds no right of first refusal over her anymore. The OP and the girl are both individuals who can do what they want. If this damages the friendship, it's on the friends own head for being a dork.

I don't keep dorks as friends. Works well for me.

The quip about machismo is that any sense of "bro's before ho's" or other glib sayings are essentially pointless extensions of immaturity. I cringe any time I hear frat boy bullcrap. These things are usually said by guys who also think their girls are there to "service" them in life, without causing any problems.

[HelloHockeyFans]

^

I guess for me, it comes down which of the two groups I'll come across more in life:

i) Loyal, true friends
ii) Girls

If there's any risk at all that I lose i) because I absolutely "need" to get with ii), I'll walk away every time.

The way I see it, you'll come across hundreds of thousands of women in your lifetime, but likely will meet only a good handful of close friends.

[Boblobla]

Originally Posted by HelloHockeyFans

you'll come across hundreds of thousands of women in your lifetime, but likely will meet only a good handful of close friends.

But not hundreds of thousands of women that want you to throw it in them...

[shawnjohn]

Don't be stupid, don't do it.

If you feel that you need to be the garbage man and clean up all the junk your buddy leaves in his trails that puts you in the "I can't get much on my own merit" catagory

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by shawnjohn

Don't be stupid, don't do it.

If you feel that you need to be the garbage man and clean up all the junk your buddy leaves in his trails that puts you in the "I can't get much on my own merit" catagory

This is hilarious...

Just because your incompatible with someone doesn't mean they're 'junk'. It means you're incompatible. Perhaps someone else, (even a friend) could be compatible...

[The Fonz]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Funny, cause aren't guys supposed to be less emotionally attached to women than women are to men? All you're doing is showing what saps you really are meanwhile thinking it makes you more macho.

Speaking for myself, it would just upset me to see my friend get with my ex. I don't really care if my ex starts dating and sleeping with a random guy from another town, I could probably even get to know him and like him. On the other hand, if it's one of my close friends....it's just different. If my buddy goes for my ex, out of all the girls out there (thousands our age in Calgary), it's like a slap in the face. There's no respect there, he's a dick.

I don't think it's the emotional attachment guys have to the girl, it's moreso the emotional attachment with your best friends. That wasn't meant to sound gay.

[Sainters7]

Originally Posted by FireFly

This is hilarious...

Just because your incompatible with someone doesn't mean they're 'junk'. It means you're incompatible. Perhaps someone else, (even a friend) could be compatible...

Is this really most girls' take on the subject? I can't believe how different it is from a guy's point of view. This type of thinking makes me realize why this stuff happens so much to begin with.

I think if you just saw a girl for a month or whatever and it just fizzled, then fine, fair game(but should always be discussed beforehand with the person previously seeing her). But if your buddy and her were dating a few months and emotions had become involved, stand clear. That'll get messy.

[The Yen Man]

Honestly, if I had an ex whom I broke up with on good terms just because we were not incompatible, and one of my friends wanted to date her I'd wish them all the best. To do otherwise would be selfish in my part, imo. It's like I'm saying, I couldn't make it work with her, so none of my friends are allowed to either. Why not?

As mentioned, this really is a case by case thing where a lot of other factors have to be considered first, ie. why your friend broke up with her, what's your motive in getting with her, what's her motive, his and her personality, etc etc.

[CrispyGriz]

Originally Posted by algernon

Were you high-fiving, and shiz? If not,that might've been the problem.

Once you stand next to a man while being undressed by two girls who decided they were going to have a foursome without actually consulting anyone, things change. Fun night for sure, but it definitely changes how you look at a friend.

It was a fantastic way to change my focus from the flames losing in game 7 versus the sharks though.

[krazycanuck]

Don't do it. Best case scenario...use her to get to her sexy friends. It's a well known fact hot girls have hot friends and slutty girls have slutty friends. Best of both worlds my friend. Don't risk friendship over stiring the vagina martini.

[The Fonz]

Originally Posted by krazycanuck

Don't do it. Best case scenario...use her to get to her sexy friends. It's a well known fact hot girls have hot friends and slutty girls have slutty friends. Best of both worlds my friend. Don't risk friendship over stiring the vagina martini.

That is probably the best advice.