I found it quite fascinating that my 3 year old son, completely on his own, started blaming his 18 month old brother for all his farts. And does it with a completely straight face.
Cool. have you also noticed hot chicks never fart.
You might pretend you aint got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yerself girl
Its lookin at you
Don't fool yerself girl
Its winkin at you
Don't fool yerself girl
Its blinkin at you
- F. Zappa
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It's time for the annual bump on this thread. I just produced some of my best gas tonight with a lethal combination on chicken wings, onion rings and peanut butter cookies. Let me tell you it isn't pretty in the flamesdyehard house right now. Even my cats are looking at me funny. They almost seem disgusted. Every time I light it up like this I think about this thread and am hoping to hear some of Calpucks gassy stories from the past year.
For the record, my smell tonight is similar to outhouse smell, there's even a hint of spice in it. That must be from the hot wings. I think that's the last night for this pair of tighty whiteys.
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I am cool
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Has anyone ever had one of those colon flushes done to them? Apparently they shoot some sort of water solution up the yahoo and then it comes out cleansing your entire intestinal tract? Sounds awesome!
Has anyone ever had one of those colon flushes done to them? Apparently they shoot some sort of water solution up the yahoo and then it comes out cleansing your entire intestinal tract? Sounds awesome!
I've never had it done, but sometimes when it's gets full of pressure I feel like I need one. I bet it's a nice feeling.
Had one of these the other night - GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost). You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em away?
recently the chairs in our office were changed from old standard cushion ones to newer mesh chairs. now every so often you'll hear a guy come to the embarrassing realization that the SBD is no longer a viable option, as he rips one so loud it reverberates off the windows
The worst ones are sick farts. The ones that happen when your laying on the couch covered with blankets feeling miserable and you hammer one out, and they sound like the death rattle from your last breath. And your sick and you don't want to move, but you feel that warm gas slowly moving up towards your face under the blanket, and it smells like death himself crawled up your anus in search of your soul and died there instead.
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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When I was a teenager my buddies and I would meet up at Tim Hortons for coffee. I let this SBD go and my buddies of course start giggling. There was this lady at the next table eating soup and she started choking, grabbed her tray, and got up and moved across the store. We were in hysterics!
I really hate it when you are in a social setting with several others and you are just feelin' that bubble working its way to the light and then ...silence as a conversation just ends among the group. And you're thinking please someone start a new conversation so I don't have to fake cough to get the fart out!!!
I really hate it when you are in a social setting with several others and you are just feelin' that bubble working its way to the light and then ...silence as a conversation just ends among the group. And you're thinking please someone start a new conversation so I don't have to fake cough to get the fart out!!!
Except that you run the risk of the fake cough failure where coughing creates super pressure and your fart comes out far louder and more rattley then the cough that you were using to hide the sound.
Or you poop your pants a little.
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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So what have he and others learned about the fine art of flatulating?
It’s a pretty common occurrence. Studies in which volunteers tracked their gas passage suggest people fart 10 to 20 times a day, with some hitting the 30, 40, even 50 mark, says Levitt, who is with the VA Medical Center in Minneapolis, Minn.
An Australian study that followed a group of men and women for a couple of months concluded men let rip on average 10 times a day, while women lag with eight emissions.
But producing less gas may create another problem for women — and the people around them. Levitt’s research suggests women’s flatulence is more ... aromatic.
The study was the first ever attempt to provide an objective evaluation of the odour of flatus, Levitt explains. Volunteer judges, blinded to the identity of the generating gender, were asked to rank the potency of the end product.
