how to motivate and inspire your kids!

[Berger_4_]

Originally Posted by madisonbtb

wow! that is actually cheaper than i would have imagined AND with a ticket on top? even for just liability, that seems pretty good.

yep...that's what it was last time i paid it...course, i got the ticket after that, but i've got some buddies who've all gotten tickets (and all of them worse than mine) and their insurance increased by maybe 50 bucks or so for the year...

[chris lindberg]

Originally Posted by Sample00

how do you motivate and instill desire in your children.
?

Go out and get the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" it will give you many great idea's.

[pope04]

Originally Posted by madisonbtb

i would be at a party and i'd call home from the party. well when my parents picked up, i'd say "its ok, mom/dad. i got it". so as far as they knew i was at home, talking on the phone.

I like it......nice and sneaky. I wish I thought of that.

[Neeper]

Originally Posted by The Yen Man

Or the dreaded backscratcher!

I got the bamboo stick and the plastic stick on venetian blinds. Mom used to work for Calgary Venetian blinds. She had an unlimited supply after breaking a few off my ass. Ahh.. white kids got rewards.. wow.

[madisonbtb]

Originally Posted by Neeper

I got the bamboo stick and the plastic stick on venetian blinds. Mom used to work for Calgary Venetian blinds. She had an unlimited supply after breaking a few off my ass. Ahh.. white kids got rewards.. wow.

my mom use to use a spatula or wooden spoons. holy cow those stung. i can imagine those blind sticks would hurt worse though.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by madisonbtb

my mom use to use a spatula or wooden spoons. holy cow those stung. i can imagine those blind sticks would hurt worse though.

LOL. Wooden spoons worked ok until mom started breaking them on us. Then we'd laugh.



Then she got deadly accurate throwing her hair brush at us. Ah, good times....

[habernac]

Originally Posted by ken0042

Two great points there. I also have to agree- and add a couple of differences between now and "when I was you age............"

- Video games in the 80's and 90's lasted for 5 minutes. There was none of this building up a character, getting to certain levels, etc. Building skill in a game meant knowing to only shoot up one Asteroid at a time; as oppose to random shooting. Which is as 4X4 says- just a bit of fun to round out an afternoon.
- Going out with friends required some level of planning. None of this calling on the phone to see where you are at- you needed to call the person at home ahead of time and come up with a meeting place. And if you had a habit of not showing up you would quickly lose friends. Perhaps that help us form certain responsibilities when we were younger.

One thing my parents did that helped my sister and I learn certain motivation; all of our chores had a dollar value. I remember cleaning the living room was worth $1, but cleaning the rec room was worth $1.50. From about grade 1 on I always had my own money. I remember in grade 3 I would take my entire allowance to buy jawbreakers- because the Macs would get in a box, and only some of them would have 2 good flavours in a pack. Then I would use the "good" packs as trade with my friends for things like hockey cards, etc.

Perhaps our generation had things best; enough technology to make things fun, but not so much to rule our lives.

good post, Ken. Have to disagree with the bolded part, though. they had games like the Ultima series, Wizardry, etc that had plenty of levels, character building, etc. Our parents would kick us out of the house if we were playing too long.

[bigtmac19]

Originally Posted by Berger_4_

I don't know what it is in Calgary, or for a 19 year old, but for a 17 year old with just the basic PL/PD, driving a 94 Mazda truck (hopefully not for too long now) and my insurance is only 1700 bucks or so a year...and that's with my one ticket I've gotten.

I'm talking Ontario rates, and the $300 is going to be about the minimum for any old POS car, with no collision. It's complete bs. I don't know if it is the same in Alberta either, but here, I cannot even buy a second car in my name and put him on as a second driver. If there are two cars and two drivers in the household, he would have to be the principal driver on the Newer car.

[madisonbtb]

Originally Posted by habernac

good post, Ken. Have to disagree with the bolded part, though. they had games like the Ultima series, Wizardry, etc that had plenty of levels, character building, etc. Our parents would kick us out of the house if we were playing too long.

have you asked about an exclusion waiver? i'm not sure they still do those b/c of legal issues, but there use to be a way for parents to sign an exclusion waiver saying the xxx child would not drive xxxx car. he is only covered under yyyy car. again, i don't know if they even still do those. it wasn't something we advertised when i worked for state farm but at the time it was possible to get one.

[Ford Prefect]

I posted earlier in this thread, writing about how my wife and I ask our kids to take on greater responsibilities whenever they come to us wanting new or greater freedoms and privileges. Generally, this has been a very successful method of motivating them to take on a greater role in the operation of our home. Such enlightened and diplomatic parenting techniques should always be the first course of action. However, following a request to my son to rake the leaves in our backyard, and directly related to the subsequent debate about the character buidling value of such menial labour, I must amend my earlier post to add: "Never underestimate the value of a firm threat to apply size 13 Nikes to your darling progeny's derriere." Figuratively speaking of course.

[madisonbtb]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

I posted earlier in this thread, writing about how my wife and I ask our kids to take on greater responsibilities whenever they come to us wanting new or greater freedoms and privileges. Generally, this has been a very successful method of motivating them to take on a greater role in the operation of our home. Such enlightened and diplomatic parenting techniques should always be the first course of action. However, following a request to my son to rake the leaves in our backyard, and directly related to the subsequent debate about the character buidling value of such menial labour, I must amend my earlier post to add: "Never underestimate the value of a firm threat to apply size 13 Nikes to your darling progeny's derriere." Figuratively speaking of course.

hahahah even if it isn't speaking figuratively.

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by madisonbtb

hahahah even if it isn't speaking figuratively.

Yup, there's still something to be said for the Red Foreman approach. (That 70s Show dad). My nickname among my kids and their friends is Red. And I don't have red hair.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by madisonbtb

my mom use to use a spatula or wooden spoons. holy cow those stung. i can imagine those blind sticks would hurt worse though.

Try a leather belt

[madisonbtb]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

Yup, there's still something to be said for the Red Foreman approach. (That 70s Show dad). My nickname among my kids and their friends is Red. And I don't have red hair.

My husband is EXACTLY the same way!!!!!!

[urban1]

Theres a fine line there.

I friends parents who were like Red. It worked up till a certain age (early teens or even pre-teen) but then its became annoying. The attitude didnt instill fear nor respect into the kids and it was like "Shut up dad. Youre turning red. No one listening. Go back in the house." Id compare to coaching and use Mike Keenan as an example. his style works for a little while but then everyone gets sick of the yelling and attitude... its not motivating anymore... its not creating fear anymore.... its just an old man yelling for the sake of yelling.

If it works, and you can somehow keep that fear and respect in your kids than thats great. But dont assume being nicknamed Red is a good thing.

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

Yup, there's still something to be said for the Red Foreman approach. (That 70s Show dad). My nickname among my kids and their friends is Red. And I don't have red hair.

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by urban1

Theres a fine line there.

I friends parents who were like Red. It worked up till a certain age (early teens or even pre-teen) but then its became annoying. The attitude didnt instill fear nor respect into the kids and it was like "Shut up dad. Youre turning red. No one listening. Go back in the house." Id compare to coaching and use Mike Keenan as an example. his style works for a little while but then everyone gets sick of the yelling and attitude... its not motivating anymore... its not creating fear anymore.... its just an old man yelling for the sake of yelling.

If it works, and you can somehow keep that fear and respect in your kids than thats great. But dont assume being nicknamed Red is a good thing.

My kids are both in their teens, and I don't think I'm causing any fear in them when I threaten to kick butt. But it does let them know that I'm getting serious, and quite possibly more than a little ticked, so they can either toe the line or risk escalating things another notch. If they chose to escalate things, they know they run the risk of encountering what I call "arbitrary parental power." That's the point where negotiation and debate ends and consequences start, or in other words, the figurative kick in the butt.

As for respect ... that's something that is earned. I go about that differently. Wielding arbitrary power is not how one earns respect, but parenting isn't always about earning respect either.

[madisonbtb]

Originally Posted by urban1

Theres a fine line there.

I friends parents who were like Red. It worked up till a certain age (early teens or even pre-teen) but then its became annoying. The attitude didnt instill fear nor respect into the kids and it was like "Shut up dad. Youre turning red. No one listening. Go back in the house." Id compare to coaching and use Mike Keenan as an example. his style works for a little while but then everyone gets sick of the yelling and attitude... its not motivating anymore... its not creating fear anymore.... its just an old man yelling for the sake of yelling.

If it works, and you can somehow keep that fear and respect in your kids than thats great. But dont assume being nicknamed Red is a good thing.

i don't see red like that at all. i see the red that might yell, but he doesn't do it for arbitrary reasons. a guy who is pretty gruff on the outside, but really pretty nice on the inside. a guy who doesn't want to raise a patsy, he wants to raise a man. a guy that might yell, but if you needed him would be there. a guy who doesn't sugarcoat things.

at least these are the things i see and what makes my husband a lot like him.