Drunken Antics.

[jroc]

^^^ he does look pretty enthused by Chuck Norris

[J pold]

Although I have a number of drunken antics I have done myself to keep up with the caliber of this thread I will tell one that happened to a buddy of mine not to long ago

So he joins me and rest of my friends on our regular Thursday night out, we went to Cowboys and we all left but he decided to stay because he was with his girl (who was really good looking) so the bar shuts down and him and his girl go there separate ways, but he gets her number and he heads for the train

On the train he meets up with another one of our Buddies (the infamous Benny) and they go on there marry way, while on the train a guy who my bud had never met asked to use his phone, my friend being the nice guy he is let him use it, but on the next stop the guy was still on the phone and just walked off the train before he could realize what happened and than the train breaks down

So my other Buddy (the infamous Benny) call his friends to come and pick them up they wait for about an hour, so she comes and drive to the infamous Benny house, and he lives on the edge of fish creek, but my other buddy who had lost his phone earlier tells her to just drop him off on the side of fish creek and he will run through fish creek home its not as bad it sounds because it is only a 25 min talk

So he is running through fish creek, when he is attacked by a pack of coyotes, so he has no choice but to climb up on one of those out wooden outhouses they have and sleep on top while the coyotes wait below, it would have been minus 15 that night and he didn’t even have a phone to call anyone for help and he lost the number of that hot girl from earlier on in the night and the most impressive part he was at school the next day at 9!

[Red Mile Style]

Man, I've got a couple:

- First week in Calgary, living in rez, a bunch of us (6) pile into a tercel, drive out to Banff, and steal the Banff letters off of the "Welcome to Banff" sign... I don't remember much, but I woke up the next morning with a big-ass F in my back.
- Warped tour 2004 - My friend was on the Stampede committee and had these nice passes with an extra one for a guest. She had them in her bag and we put them on and marched right backstage, and ended up on stage, behind the band for Taking Back Sunday, NoFX and Bad Religion. Roadies are so dumb... We then continued to be reporters for the Herald and got into some backstage parties, all while being blitzed out of our minds.
- BSD... oh wow. Well, I'm not sure how many people are aware of the couch races that happen every year, but those are fun while on shrooms. The couches that year were made of roasted marshmallows... I guess the best BSD was when we all dropped e and started dancing to my buddy's cell phone ring on the tenth floor of the library tower.
- While I was working at UN headquarters I attended a side-event hosted by Qatar (middle east countries = non-responsible governments = crazy parties), a few of us that I knew from previous conferences decided to see what kind of **** we could stir. We ended up smoking a joint in this meditation room they have... I still can't believe I did that...
- After finals, a bunch of us got together and had a text-book/note bonfire in the woods in rez. Next thing you know we hear sirens, so my buddy and I ran to another rez buiding and pulled the fire alarm to distract them from our fire.
- Russian vodka night... A complete blur, but I ended up waking up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, and I actually passed out standing up. I fell forward and chipped half my front tooth. It happened on a long weekend, so I ended up going four days without a front tooth... brutal.
- Porn star cab - bah! I was wearing a corset (sp?) and I had this blazer type thing over-top, I warned all my friends not to let me take it off. Well, I guess it came off, and one of my nipples kept popping out... gah! So embarassing! My friend took a bunch of pictures and blackmails me with them from time to time.
- The Red Mile... well, I think I've said too much.

[StoneCole]

Here's an email I received from a chick a few months back:

"You had a fabulous time? Did you not notice that everyone else wanted you to leave? When I woke up Sunday the first thing I heard from everybody was that you were extremely obnoxious, rude and offensive at the party. I was in bed and didn't hear / see anything but you killed the party mood while you were around. I know that you are obnoxious, rude and offensive to me, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt and invited you to the party anyways. I thought that you knew how to behave at a stranger's house full of other strangers. You made a fool of yourself and by doing so, embarrassed me because I invited you. I was told on Sunday that everyone wanted to wake me up so that I could tell you to leave. I apologized to ****** for inviting you. Maybe you should apologize to her too.

*****"

-One game I received a four game suspension for threatening to kill the ref (I drank a twelver before the game)

-at a party where we knew only like one person: me and some friends found a pantry full of Campbell's tomato, and proceeded to make a mess...imagine us trying to keep a straight face when the host kicked everybody out of the party proclaiming (in a moment of Dane Cook-like comedy) "SOMEONE THREW TOMATO SOUP ALL OVER THE BASEMENT"

-a buddy of mine was making it with a chick while camping; he attempted to push her face down to his groin for a little oral action. When she resisted, he held down her face and proceeded to do his thing into her hair.

-another friend picked up what he thought was a nice girl at a bar one night...when the time came, she asked the question (not that question), but: "do you have X $"? What did he do? The same thing any of us would: they called her "driver" to get a ride to the bank so that he could pony up the $350...apparently she was high class.

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by StoneCole

-a buddy of mine was making it with a chick while camping; he attempted to push her face down to his groin for a little oral action. When she resisted, he held down her face and proceeded to do his thing into her hair.

I don't really see what's funny about this. She resisted and he held her head down. That sounds like assault to me.

[Red Mile Style]

MOD EDIT: Removed, leave your baggage off the forums please.

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

I don't really see what's funny about this. She resisted and he held her head down. That sounds like assault to me.

No doubt... it also sounds pathetic to me. If some guy ever tried that to me, he would no longer be with us. Gross.

[MagicallyAdept]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Originally Posted by MagicallyAdept

• Having sex on a crowded dance floor

similar thing happened to a friend of a friend in a nightclub about 5 years ago:

After much drinking, fun and games at the pub before we decide to go the local nightclub Eros (dive) to get of our trollies and have more of the fun. We meet Jason's friend Skiv (or some pikey name) and he tags along for a night of merriness.

He ended up paying 15 quid for some small pink pills - and to all intents and purposes was having a great time.

Obviously being a bit of a mover on the dance floor, he was soon aproached by a lovely lady asking him he if wanted to go off to the toilets and 'give her one'.

Thinking his luck was in, he was promptly led away by this saucy minx and soon got down to business.

Unfortunately, the effects of the little pink items he had recently obtained were now starting to wear off and before he knew it, my friend and i realised he was in fact standing on the dancefloor still, with his trousers round his ankles masturbating furiously (much to the sheer horror and amazement of onlookers).

Winner.

That story should be read with a "Alex from A Clockwork Orange" accent.

I have had some pretty wild times and looking back i can say i lived it large while i was young but i do regret some of the things that happened. Its good fun to repeat these stories because they are funny and i like telling them - especially the ones not involving me. But back then i thought 'have i lost the plot' because i have lost friends and jobs through not being sober. During the gumball 3000 rally i set fire to a hotel marquee and i got arrested and had to pay damages. That was stupid but at the time i thought i was camping and needed to cook on an open fire.

Glad to see you guys have done some stupid/funny things when you are drunk also as it makes me feel better that its a human thing not a 'me' thing.

[BerubeHater]

While I was in Vegas, me and a friend handed out those Vegas SMUT cards that they hand out to tourists. We did it for hours. The best part was giving them to old couples, who had no idea why two 25 year old white guys were handing these out. VEGAS!!!

[Agamemnon]

MOD EDIT: Removed, leave your baggage off the forums please.

[Moderator]

Red Mile Style/Agamemnon - whatever personal history you two have, this board is not the place to revisit it. Keep it off the board.

[Agamemnon]

Thats pretty much where I'm at, thanks Moderators.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by fotze

I wanna see the baggage.

Only if it's T-baggage...

[Cheese]

Originally Posted by StoneCole

Here's an email I received from a chick a few months back:

"You had a fabulous time? Did you not notice that everyone else wanted you to leave? When I woke up Sunday the first thing I heard from everybody was that you were extremely obnoxious, rude and offensive at the party. I was in bed and didn't hear / see anything but you killed the party mood while you were around. I know that you are obnoxious, rude and offensive to me, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt and invited you to the party anyways. I thought that you knew how to behave at a stranger's house full of other strangers. You made a fool of yourself and by doing so, embarrassed me because I invited you. I was told on Sunday that everyone wanted to wake me up so that I could tell you to leave. I apologized to ****** for inviting you. Maybe you should apologize to her too.

*****"

-One game I received a four game suspension for threatening to kill the ref (I drank a twelver before the game)

-at a party where we knew only like one person: me and some friends found a pantry full of Campbell's tomato, and proceeded to make a mess...imagine us trying to keep a straight face when the host kicked everybody out of the party proclaiming (in a moment of Dane Cook-like comedy) "SOMEONE THREW TOMATO SOUP ALL OVER THE BASEMENT"

-a buddy of mine was making it with a chick while camping; he attempted to push her face down to his groin for a little oral action. When she resisted, he held down her face and proceeded to do his thing into her hair.

-another friend picked up what he thought was a nice girl at a bar one night...when the time came, she asked the question (not that question), but: "do you have X $"? What did he do? The same thing any of us would: they called her "driver" to get a ride to the bank so that he could pony up the $350...apparently she was high class.

sounds like some serious negotiations are needed with a member of the Psychiatric society. I suggest making a donation to your future home away from home...complete with rubber walls.

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by StoneCole

Here's an email I received from a chick a few months back:

"You had a fabulous time? Did you not notice that everyone else wanted you to leave? When I woke up Sunday the first thing I heard from everybody was that you were extremely obnoxious, rude and offensive at the party. I was in bed and didn't hear / see anything but you killed the party mood while you were around. I know that you are obnoxious, rude and offensive to me, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt and invited you to the party anyways. I thought that you knew how to behave at a stranger's house full of other strangers. You made a fool of yourself and by doing so, embarrassed me because I invited you. I was told on Sunday that everyone wanted to wake me up so that I could tell you to leave. I apologized to ****** for inviting you. Maybe you should apologize to her too.

*****"

-One game I received a four game suspension for threatening to kill the ref (I drank a twelver before the game)

-at a party where we knew only like one person: me and some friends found a pantry full of Campbell's tomato, and proceeded to make a mess...imagine us trying to keep a straight face when the host kicked everybody out of the party proclaiming (in a moment of Dane Cook-like comedy) "SOMEONE THREW TOMATO SOUP ALL OVER THE BASEMENT"

-a buddy of mine was making it with a chick while camping; he attempted to push her face down to his groin for a little oral action. When she resisted, he held down her face and proceeded to do his thing into her hair.

-another friend picked up what he thought was a nice girl at a bar one night...when the time came, she asked the question (not that question), but: "do you have X $"? What did he do? The same thing any of us would: they called her "driver" to get a ride to the bank so that he could pony up the $350...apparently she was high class.

Yikes... posting this frankly makes you look like a loony... bring out a story where your normal to give us some balance!

[AC]

Originally Posted by StoneCole

trash trash trash

Wow.

I can honestly say that you sound like a truly terrible person.

In fact, if I were a moderator, I'd ban you for admitting to such things.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by StoneCole

Here's an email I received from a chick a few months back:

"You had a fabulous time? Did you not notice that everyone else wanted you to leave? When I woke up Sunday the first thing I heard from everybody was that you were extremely obnoxious, rude and offensive at the party. I was in bed and didn't hear / see anything but you killed the party mood while you were around. I know that you are obnoxious, rude and offensive to me, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt and invited you to the party anyways. I thought that you knew how to behave at a stranger's house full of other strangers. You made a fool of yourself and by doing so, embarrassed me because I invited you. I was told on Sunday that everyone wanted to wake me up so that I could tell you to leave. I apologized to ****** for inviting you. Maybe you should apologize to her too.

*****"

-One game I received a four game suspension for threatening to kill the ref (I drank a twelver before the game)

-at a party where we knew only like one person: me and some friends found a pantry full of Campbell's tomato, and proceeded to make a mess...imagine us trying to keep a straight face when the host kicked everybody out of the party proclaiming (in a moment of Dane Cook-like comedy) "SOMEONE THREW TOMATO SOUP ALL OVER THE BASEMENT"

-a buddy of mine was making it with a chick while camping; he attempted to push her face down to his groin for a little oral action. When she resisted, he held down her face and proceeded to do his thing into her hair.

-another friend picked up what he thought was a nice girl at a bar one night...when the time came, she asked the question (not that question), but: "do you have X $"? What did he do? The same thing any of us would: they called her "driver" to get a ride to the bank so that he could pony up the $350...apparently she was high class.

Hahahhah
That’s pretty damn funny StoneCole we have all done some stupid things especially when that little guy booze is involved

[Red Mile Style]

MOD edit: KEEP IT OFF THE BOARDS. LAST WARNING.

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Originally Posted by StoneCole

-a buddy of mine was making it with a chick while camping; he attempted to push her face down to his groin for a little oral action. When she resisted, he held down her face and proceeded to do his thing into her hair.

I don't know that seems sortof like I don't know a significant case of sexual assault? There is a difference between crude funny/black humour and that crap. In all honesty how could you a) sit there and watch that and b) laugh about it after.

[Five-hole]

I'm not sure I'm up to the caliber of some of the stuff here, but anyway.

Couple of years ago on my girlfriend's birthday party, we went to the Roadhouse and I got a swerve on...on the way home, we stopped at what used to be the Husky House (on 5thave and 12th) to order some food. As soon as I got inside and ordered some perogies or whatever, I promptly passed out on the table.

Our food was incredibly slow that night, and after some time passed I awoke with the sudden need to empty my stomach. I stumble singlemindedly out the door (passed a pretty good and horrified line of people) and found some "shelter" behind some mailboxes. Proceed retching.

Unfortunately, my secluded corner was neither secluded nor much of a corner. I was in plain view of the floor-to-ceiling windows of the restaraunt as well as a crowded street corner.

One onlooker remarked "at least he's puking on the Post".

However, I did better than two others. My girlfriend didn't make it to the Roadhouse after drinking enough at the pre-party to induce spasmic vomiting, and another friend had had his wisdom teeth out that day and was drinking along with his T3s (that is so hardcore). He was carefully positioned between the carpet of the bedroom and the linoleum of the bathroom so that if he puked, it would be onto the easier-to-clean-up surface; of course, it didn't work out and he puked all over the carpet and the pillow that he'd been lent.

[Cheese]

some serious lapses of judgement happen with booze...

One weekend we were out camping and along with the usual cases of beer etc, one fool brought a Texas Mickey of Dark Navy Rum. The first two days saw the party go thru all of the beer etc and the last night all that was remaining was the Mickey. Now there were about 8 of us Id imagine...maybe 10...memory is fuzzy...but we ended up playing blackjack with the hand loser having to drink a shot of Navy Rum poured by the winner of the hand.
I was one of the first up and did fairly well....in a manner of speaking. I mustve drank at least 20-25 shots in a random bout of win/lose and opted out with a serious buzz. My buddy thinking he had won kept going...he "supposedly beat" at least 3 other guys while I was watching, and due to the late time I decided to crash. I went to the tent and managed to get the "head spin" under control and fall asleep. My buddy who was sharing said tent...kept winning... Within the hour I heard said buddy coming toward the tent praying VERY LOUDLY to whatever God would hear him that he would never drink Navy Rum again. Every 3rd vowel was followed by a gut wrenching movement of bile and tasty camping treats. Hearing this noise got my head swirling again, and after the 4th round of listening to my friend wretch, I could no longer hold my stomach from a complete turn. I made it to the tent door...unzipped the fly...ripped open the door and let er fly...a great long line of spewing projectile Navy Rum and Marshmallows...all over my friend who had camped at the door to the tent still wretching and praying.
The next few minutes played like a bad scene from the Movie "Stand by me" and the pie eating contest.
My friend has never touched Navy Rum since...