Going sober

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Two months ago I made the decision to stop drinking after 18 years of hard living. I only lasted two nights in a rehab centre, but rather than go to bed that night feeling a total failure I did something I'd never thought of doing and purely out of a sense of desperation I went to an AA meeting. For me it has been a game-changer and has really worked. Its nothing like on TV and its something I wish I had thought to do a long time ago.

http://calgaryaa.org

My first week I went to a meeting every single night. Now I'm going two or three times a week, or more if its been a particularly triggering day. I couldn't sleep for a few nights, so that sucked, but I've noticed now I can get six hours and feel fresh which is awesome.

Booze doesn't discriminate based on any metric, and it felt strangely reassuring to know I wasn't close to being alone in having this savage beast monkey on my back. Also, unlike rehab where nobody wants to be there (staff, clients, etc) AA is entirely supported by the people that attend, thus its people that actually want to be there, and actually want to help you.

Feel free to DM me if anyone has any questions. Part of it is being there for people to reach out to, because it helps with my sobriety as much as theirs.

AA can be great, people tend to assume all meetings/groups are the same, they are not as it is so dependant on the people attending, if you don't feel comfortable with one meeting try some others, find a group you like, in a way its like trying to find a rec hockey team, also people get way to hung up on the idea it has a religious component, it rely doesn't, its just a place to go to replace the time and friends that going to a bar used to provide, it gives you a place you can be honest get and give support, find a shoulder to cry on, it isnt rocket science

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

Originally Posted by oilfanforever

Lurking the board this morning, and came across a couple posts related to alcohol, so thought I would throw the question out there - has anyone given up booze? And if so, what tactics did you use, or advice do you have?

For a bit of background, I don't have any dependencies, but as I get older it juts doesn't seem as worth it. Having socialized with booze my whole adult life, I am finding it difficult to go sober, and post pandemic socializing a lot, therefore drinking more.

I recently saw some statistics out of the UK that are showing younger generations giving up booze at huge rates. I think you can see this in all of the non-alcoholic drinks hitting the market.

Perhaps it's just me, but feels like society is slowly turning it's back on booze, and I want in.

Tips and tricks much appreciated.

giving up the Oilers too should help your cause

best of luck!

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

nm

[icarus]

Originally Posted by FanIn80

I used to just order things like "cran and soda" or pellagrino/perrier/etc to avoid drinking pop or coffee all night... but now with the advent of breweries and distilleries actually putting work into and developing non-alcoholic beers and spirits that are worth drinking, the options are much more varried....


Here's a quality gin option: https://lyres.ca/range/dry-london-spirit



Lots of stuff out there now if you enjoy the tastes of different traditionally-alcoholic beverages, but want to go the no-alcohol route.

Was going to post Lyre's myself, you beat me to it. I'm doing Dry January at the moment (after all the wine I drank on vacation in France and Italy a couple months ago), and came across some free samples in the supermarket. Really pleasantly surprised.

Tonight after a long day at the office I had a couple Lyre's spritzes (same colour and flavour as an Aperol spritz which I might usually have in the evening) and it did a pretty good job of scratching the itch.

But Dry January has really made me appreciate restaurants and bars that offer good non-alcoholic alternatives, whether zero beers or wines or interesting mocktails. Pop, coffee or tea alone don't make it easier in social situations.

[Yeah_Baby]

where could a person find Lyres in stores? They wouldn't ship to me just now online

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

For people who are 100% sober all the time, how do you kill the mental pain of being alive?

I drink probably about 5 or 6 time a month, usually just to shut my brain off from negative thoughts that persist and build up. I know that sounds terrible, but I couldn't imagine not being able to numb my mind once in a while.

I never get downright drunk, but just buzzed.

Alcohol is a depressant.
You're trading the positive feeling of your buzz for an overall negative effect on your mental health, mood, stress & anxiety.

I bet the people who never drink actually have less "mental pain"; or at least they're not adding to it with alcohol.

I'm in no way preaching to never drink; but it's important to understand what's actually happening when drinking.
You're not battling away mental pain with alcohol; you are likely making your issues much worse.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by btimbit

I've really cut down on my drinking lately. I still love it, and will still do it if hanging out with friends and family, but having 10 a night watching hockey and playing video games is just so damn unhealthy.

Here's my question for sober people though.... What do you do with all that free time? I haven't had a drink all month, and it's not really cravings that I have, except that sober life is just so damn boring. I'd smoke more weed but then I just wanna snack my face off so that goes against the whole "Be healthier" thing I'm going for

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

For people who are 100% sober all the time, how do you kill the mental pain of being alive?

This is definitely an element of the problem, you have to fill that void with something, but I hear what you guys are saying. Whenever I go on extended absences this is something that I find as well.

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally Posted by FanIn80

I've been sober for about 25 years now. Was more out of necessity than choice (was heading down a very not-awesome path).

I used to just order things like "cran and soda" or pellagrino/perrier/etc to avoid drinking pop or coffee all night... but now with the advent of breweries and distilleries actually putting work into and developing non-alcoholic beers and spirits that are worth drinking, the options are much more varried.

This is one of my favourites: https://www.crft.beer
Here's a quality gin option: https://lyres.ca/range/dry-london-spirit

Lots of stuff out there now if you enjoy the tastes of different traditionally-alcoholic beverages, but want to go the no-alcohol route.

This looks good!
Have you tried their negroni mix?

[FanIn80]

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

where could a person find Lyres in stores? They wouldn't ship to me just now online

Not sure of your comfort level with shopping online, but there's always: https://www.amazon.ca/stores/LyresSp...3-564D16825A90

[FanIn80]

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

This looks good!
Have you tried their negroni mix?

I haven't, unfortunately.

PS. I'm still trying to find something to replace my old beloved Crown Royal. I quit drinking when I was 19, so I never really progressed to an age where I would try things like martinis and negronis, etc. Cheap beers and cheap vodkas with the occasional treat of whiskey was pretty much all I got into. Whenever we were able to dabble into the whiskeys, my buddies would all scoff at my Crown Royal while they all were paying for their bottles of Jack Daniels, but that JD garbo just tasted like candy to me. Especially when they started mixing it with Coke. What a waste of booze. I would just drink my Crown straight out of the bottle, unless I was feeling extra sophisticated and decided to use a glass lol.

Annnyway... I digress. I'm thinking about maybe ordering a bottle of no-alcohol gin and vermouth from Lyres and seeing if might like a martini or a gibson (the onion fascinates me for some reason).

Edit: Seriously, though. If anyone has any recommendations for a quality no-alcohol whisky (scotch, preferred), please post it!

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by FanIn80

I haven't, unfortunately.

PS. I'm still trying to find something to replace my old beloved Crown Royal. I quit drinking when I was 19, so I never really progressed to an age where I would try things like martinis and negronis, etc. Cheap beers and cheap vodkas with the occasional treat of whiskey was pretty much all I got into. Whenever we were able to dabble into the whiskeys, my buddies would all scoff at my Crown Royal while they all were paying for their bottles of Jack Daniels, but that JD garbo just tasted like candy to me. Especially when they started mixing it with Coke. What a waste of booze. I would just drink my Crown straight out of the bottle, unless I was feeling extra sophisticated and decided to use a glass lol.

Annnyway... I digress. I'm thinking about maybe ordering a bottle of no-alcohol gin and vermouth from Lyres and seeing if might like a martini or a gibson (the onion fascinates me for some reason).

Edit: Seriously, though. If anyone has any recommendations for a quality no-alcohol whisky (scotch, preferred), please post it!

As Scotty from Star Trek can attest to, even in the 24th century there is no replacing scotch. It’s gotta be the real thing and nothing else compares.

[icarus]

Originally Posted by FanIn80

I haven't, unfortunately.

PS. I'm still trying to find something to replace my old beloved Crown Royal. I quit drinking when I was 19, so I never really progressed to an age where I would try things like martinis and negronis, etc. Cheap beers and cheap vodkas with the occasional treat of whiskey was pretty much all I got into. Whenever we were able to dabble into the whiskeys, my buddies would all scoff at my Crown Royal while they all were paying for their bottles of Jack Daniels, but that JD garbo just tasted like candy to me. Especially when they started mixing it with Coke. What a waste of booze. I would just drink my Crown straight out of the bottle, unless I was feeling extra sophisticated and decided to use a glass lol.

Annnyway... I digress. I'm thinking about maybe ordering a bottle of no-alcohol gin and vermouth from Lyres and seeing if might like a martini or a gibson (the onion fascinates me for some reason).

Edit: Seriously, though. If anyone has any recommendations for a quality no-alcohol whisky (scotch, preferred), please post it!

I sampled the Lyre's faux American bourbon... I'd probably consider buying a bottle if I decide to extend Dry Jan since the taste is pretty reminiscent to bourbon (a bit sweet/vanilla). Might be the closest thing you'll find.

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by icarus

I sampled the Lyre's faux American bourbon... I'd probably consider buying a bottle if I decide to extend Dry Jan since the taste is pretty reminiscent to bourbon (a bit sweet/vanilla). Might be the closest thing you'll find.

I wondered about this when it seemed to be sold out.

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

For people who are 100% sober all the time, how do you kill the mental pain of being alive?

I drink probably about 5 or 6 time a month, usually just to shut my brain off from negative thoughts that persist and build up. I know that sounds terrible, but I couldn't imagine not being able to numb my mind once in a while.

I never get downright drunk, but just buzzed.

Therapy. Having a social circle with activities you enjoy.

[DoubleF]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

For people who are 100% sober all the time, how do you kill the mental pain of being alive?

I drink probably about 5 or 6 time a month, usually just to shut my brain off from negative thoughts that persist and build up. I know that sounds terrible, but I couldn't imagine not being able to numb my mind once in a while.

I never get downright drunk, but just buzzed.

We are not professionals. It's best to talk to a pro.

But from my perspective, you have to change the way you think. You honestly have to end up transitioning from repressing/suppressing to addressing. Whether that is having regular healthy ways to distract you from the issues, or clear out the issue/keep it at a manageable level.

Alcohol isn't necessarily bad in your case, but 5-6 times a month a dosages to numb seems unhealthy and bad for your body.

I get it. Life is overwhelming at times. I'm sure I and others find it the same. Likely, many are also repressing/suppressing/keeping it at a manageable level, just like you. We just don't use alcohol as the main method to do so because it's unhealthy if not used in moderation. We often use other methods like, video games, the gym, sports, outdoor activities/hiking/solitude, disconnecting social media, cooking, LEGO, driving, toys, art, kids etc.

I wish you luck my friend. Others have posted some suggestions as well. I'm sure if you decided you wanted to go sober, you'd have a bunch of us cheering you on. Honestly speaking, without knowing your situation, I don't advise cutting of alcohol cold turkey. Reduce instead and incrementally move to the point of it being manageable.

===

Back on topic, I guess I'm like a few others. I don't have an issue with alcohol and honestly speaking, I only drink because I want to. I've also purged most of my collection to essentially good stuff (minimum $100 per bottle because inflation) and I drink basically only when friends are over, or I'll randomly have a finger or less of whiskey/scotch or the occasional gin and tonic/gimlet variation or beer/radler at home. If I don't like how I made it, I'll pour it out. It's perhaps a few dollars of alcohol at most. Why pour it down the gullet to my detriment if I don't like it? It's probably like $2-5 bucks of booze at most, even if it's a $100 bottle. Many do the same thing for $1 of pop and 1/4 of a burger because calorie reasons regularly without thinking too much. Money wise, it's similar. Health wise, it's similar.

Although, I might finish a cocktail I don't really like when I'm dishing out over $10 each at a restaurant... because I don't want the looks. But I definitely don't typically order another because I didn't enjoy the previous one. I just call it fate that I didn't enjoy the cocktail and refrain from additional drinks from that bar.

To be honest, I'm lucky that alcohol has no hold on me. I'm picky as hell and my consumption is dropping rapidly. I actually dislike the taste and I'll pour it out or just finish it and call it a night. A buddy poured me three fingers of a 30 year scotch a month ago (I don't think he knew what he was doing) and even with my excitement, I was horribly let down. To be honest, I wondered if my leg was being pulled and it had been refilled with a young scotch because of how sharp the alcohol taste was at times. I finished it to be polite and the fact it was expensive, but I was done for the evening purely from a beverage perspective that evening even though I enjoyed mulled wine and other red wines that evening.

I will say that I have swapped some of the alcohol with cannabis products. But it's still lower than what I used to do. A huge part is due to kids. Being hung over is bad as an older person. It's even worse with kids around.

[DoubleK]

This is a great thread.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to share their stories.

[Winsor_Pilates]

Drank a few of these last night: https://www.drinkopus.com/

They're pretty good, a nice alternative to non alcoholic beers. I've had the Spritz ones and the Gin and Tonic ones, the G&T is really good.
They're from Vancouver but looks like you can get then at one place in Calgary.