Loneliness

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Mean Mr. Mustard

I am not saying that I am perfect, far from it, but I read something like that and I am astonished at the complete lack of personal accountability. If he is lonely maybe it is time to look in the mirror at self-destructive habits, and playing cruel jokes on loved ones, is something that will precipitate loneliness.

I would hesitate to post anything considering he posted a small snippet of his life. We don't know the whole details of why they seperated or what lead to that point.

[Deegee]

Originally Posted by Wastedyouth

I'm surprised you could type this comment from all the way up there.

To be fair it was a pretty poor comment for me to make even if it was in the heat of a conversation we were having that was taking a nose dive on both sides. Likely part of the reason were not together anymore in that we both couldn't figure it out.

[Hugh Jahrmes]

100% agree on only missing my son. Just had an awesome 3 days with him, and somehow in my limited time I am the one experiencing all of the milestones (saw him sitting up standing and standing alone first, as well as his constant"dad" "dada" vocabulary). So that's nice haha.

[1stLand]

Calgary Puck Street hockey is a fun way to meet up with people in the Summer time.

One member even brought a cooler of pop to a game of street hockey once.

From that moment on, I never disagreed or argued with them on Calgarypuck.


Maybe if MrMastadonfarm brought a cooler of pop to an event I would become friends with him too.

[Wastedyouth]

Originally Posted by Deegee

To be fair it was a pretty poor comment for me to make even if it was in the heat of a conversation we were having that was taking a nose dive on both sides. Likely part of the reason were not together anymore in that we both couldn't figure it out.

No, he had no right to make such a self righteous comment on a joke that happened between you and you (ex) wife in the heat of an argument. As if he has never said anything he regrets.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by Wastedyouth

I'm surprised you could type this comment from all the way up there.

It is possible that a great deal of his loneliness stems from his own professed selfishness.

[Flash Walken]

Originally Posted by peter12

It is possible that a great deal of his loneliness stems from his own professed selfishness.

It's lonely at the top.

[combustiblefuel]

Originally Posted by Bagor

Have you considered getting a dog? Seriously.

Not only will it provide another presence in your residence, it will give you an excuse to get out of the house and introduce you to a whole new network of people.

Best thing I did when I lived in Calgary. My dog ( 4 month old at that time) was a chick magnet . She also kept me busy and my mind off the bad. Calgary was the hardest City I have lived in to meet people. When I did they usually lived on the complete opposite end of town. I didn't own a car while I was there so commuting was a terrible, especially in the winter there.

[heep223]

Originally Posted by kn

I hesitate to post this article for fear the internet warriors will come out in force but I don't care. It explores the looming loneliness crisis despite out increasingly "connected" world.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/...3187/?page=all

Unfortunately, I can relate to everyone in that article. My evenings and weekends consist of trying to kill time to get back to work. Work is all I have and sometimes I get up only because I'm contractually obliged.

Never married, no friends besides "work friends" and like the article states, saying "go out and make friends" is like telling an asthmatic to go climb Mount Everest. I've joined various groups/events and feel like a zombie seeing all these people interacting and having "fun". Sadly, the only distraction is hockey and even then, sometimes watching the Flames religiously feels pointless. But most of the time it helps me "forget" for three or four hours.

My biggest fear is dying alone and not being discovered until the smell. Unlike the woman in the article, it wouldn't take three years for me to be discovered because I'm sure someone would come to find out why the bills/taxes weren't paid or why that "loyal, dedicated employee" didn't show up for work.

Admittedly I haven't read this whole thread and I can't relate to your problem. But I just wanted to share something that I feel could be meaningful:

It's ok to feel these things.
Try to be gentle with yourself.

That might not provide any real solution but I've felt that has relieved anxiety for me in other situations anyways. Try not to be too hard on yourself for these feelings, there's nothing wrong with them.

And like ^ is saying....get a dog, if you can manage it. Spend lots of time going to classes with him for training, going to the dog park, going to breed meet-ups. Passionate dog owners are very friendly and it gives you something instant to relate to. Plus dogs are awesome.

Thanks for sharing.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Sliver

This might sound stupid, but what about getting together and getting hammered. Like insist on a four or five drink minimum for everyone. I think that's how I bonded with half my current friends - through ridiculous drinking nights where lots of funny things happen and it brings everyone closer.

I think just sitting around chatting sober people will keep their guards up. Get drunk, get up to shenanigans, and hopefully have fun. Then after a few super drunk meet ups, you guys will start making plans to do things sober, and natural friendships may form.

K, I guess this was stupid.

[Kybosh]

Originally Posted by Sliver

K, I guess this was stupid.

Nothing quite like working through loneliness and/or depression with depressants .

[Itse]

When I'm feeling depressed (which unfortunately happens regurarly), I try to keep myself to a two drink limit. 1-2 drinks is fine and can often even be helpful, it takes the edge off. But more than than and the eventual sobering up (which is a downer moment for most people anyway) can really drive you into a mental hole.

It's also a good reason to drink those expensive high quality beers that are best enjoyed slowly

[Galakanokis]

I worked the Balance Our Minds youth summit at GM place today, very eye opening. It actually evolved from an idea Rick Rypien had when he first talked to the Canucks about his issues. #hockeytalks is also an initiative started by the canucks aimed at lessening the stigma around mental illness. As I said very eye opening and informative. But the point of my post is to mention www.mindcheck.ca. Something Kevin Bieksa and the Canucks have invested in heavily. It might be something worth checking out.

My wife suffers from depression, she's on medication and it definitely helps. I myself struggle mightily trying to understand it but I find it very hard. I'm very much the macho man, deal with your issues but I'm working on it. I worry that she might be lonely. She works a lot of long hours and late nights that does not leave much time for a social life. Add in kids and my two jobs and it can be hard for her to have her own time. We have fun as family and do lots of things but she doesn't see her girlfriends a lot. I have to almost force her to go out at times, mostly she's tired but I feel it can be the start of a funk.

We're working on it. I khow others here are as well. I get it can be hard to make friends but feel it is very important to try. Even call up old friends you haven't see in years, it can be fun to reminisce. When I went back to Calgary a couple of years ago I called a few buddies that I hadn't seen since 1989 when we were at Bob Edwards Jr. High. We had a blast and I still smile about that night. We get together everytime I swing through town.

Sorry, kind of rambling but I did want to mention that site. There are resources out there even if it just gets you into a running club, it all can help.

Be excellent to each other.

[combustiblefuel]

Wrong thread