Anyone else have a psycho ex?

[Dion]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

No, I am trying to work out if she has gone psycho on you because her son is devastated he has lost his dad, because even if the 'adults' in this picture don't see it your kids were no doubt desperate for you guys to become a family for them.

And for the record, if you and she can stay together, not fight, be unhappy but give your kids a good family you should man the eff up and move back, once you have a kid, or 3 in this case your and her happiness is irrelevant.

My sister and her ex husband did that exact same thing when the kids were growing up. The problem was her hubby never told her he was unhappy and instead cheated on her for many years. When she found out she fought hard to keep the relationship going for the sake of the kids. The dickwad eventualy left her and the kids. Both my niece and nephew are in thier early 20's and show no ill effects of thier father not being there.

The parents happiness is very relevant. Kids are not stupid and can recognise when parents are not happy. Better to be living apart and happy as opposed to together and miserable. Diss is doing the right thing IMO.

[REDVAN]

dissentowner- first thing's first: get yourself a vasectomy.

[DuffMan]

I think she just needs to get laid, that will calm her down.

[T@T]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

I offered this advice to a lawyer colleague of mine, who thought he had impregnated a woman, and was looking forward to hundreds of thousands of $$$ in child support...

Until you are married, nothing but oral or anal.

Luckily, I never had any kids with my ex-wives.

Some of us like kids, I have 2 kids from 2 ex's and for the most part we are still close friends. As I age I feel sorry for my buddys who don't have kids,yeah, it's exspensive when your divorced but IMO worth every dime.

I just can't imagine life without my kids..

[redforever]

Originally Posted by Rutuu

The bolded part just tells me you did bad in school...doesn't mean you're qualified to be telling the guy to give up 19yrs of his life.

Family friends of ours have a crazy daughter that has ruined the lives of 3men...the parents have cut her out and have a relationship with the numerous children/fathers. She's a loon and does more damage to the families than if she just disappeared.

Apart from Dissentower wanting to fire Sutter he has always seemed like a decent guy, so cut him a break. Sorry about your luck with the ladies...hope things work out Dissentower.

Since when did raising a child equate to giving up your life?

[drhu22]

Originally Posted by Dion

My sister and her ex husband did that exact same thing when the kids were growing up. The problem was her hubby never told her he was unhappy and instead cheated on her for many years. When she found out she fought hard to keep the relationship going for the sake of the kids. The dickwad eventualy left her and the kids. Both my niece and nephew are in thier early 20's and show no ill effects of thier father not being there.

The parents happiness is very relevant. Kids are not stupid and can recognise when parents are not happy. Better to be living apart and happy as opposed to together and miserable. Diss is doing the right thing IMO.

I think i agree...
kids live in real time

[MRCboicgy]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

nothing but oral or anal.

[Rathji]

To the OP's situation, you need te get a settlement in family court about what your rights and responsiblities are as far as your child goes. It sounds like you think you are contributing enough and she doesn't, but you should let a judge decide that so you can get the petty bickering out of the way and work together to raise your child.

I don't have any exes, but I will pass along a story that might make you feel good. My brother got divorced about a decade ago. Did the weekend dad thing for a while and then got remarried and his ex went crazy. She was constantly fighting to get his access to the kids removed, but she was a total nutcase about it. Her entire strategy was to walk into court without a lawyer and scream for the entire time about what a bad dad he was. When she didn't make any headway there, she (or a concerned member of the community!) would call social services about the "abuse and hardships" the kids faced while they were at thier dads - which they eventually determined was referring to chores like making thier own lunches and putting away laundry.

When my brother realized it wasn't going to stop, he simply wrote down every thing his ex did that was neglectful towards the kids. Like refusing to take them to get eye exams because "glasses look stupid" , or refusing to take them to doctors appointments for conditions they had. Sending kids to school in the middle of winter with no jacket. The list could go on forever.

After a year or so of this, they finally walked into court and produced this documentation, and got full custody of the kids.

Fast forward to last year, and pyscho ex still popping out kids like mad (4 under 5 years old), and his 14 year old daughter goes back to live with her mom to avoid some rules at her dad's place. She finds out quickly that her mom really just wants a baby sitter for the other kids so she can do whatever she wants (ie play WoW + smoke pot). Needless to say, that didn't last long and she is happily back living with her dad.

Just think, dissentower, it could be worse!

An interesting side note: When the mom had custody, she fought tooth and nail to get increased child support - even though it was being paid in full. Ever since she lost full custody, she hadn't paid a dime until this month when, apparently, maintenance enforcement finally kicked in.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by LGA

The other ex went from dating me to dating my roommate, and childhood friend. Except we hadn't broken up when she started dating him...since that time I've become extremely paranoid of basically everyone I meet. Every girl I become interested in I just assume will one day ruin my life, and I kind of expect them to do it by messing with my friends.

I had this exact thing happen to me when I was younger, we were not roomates, but the girl I was with for 5 years, hooked up with my best friend from when we were little kids, behind my back. This was the girl I was going to marry, and we had it all planned etc. Owned a house together etc. To this day that betrayal is what I credit for being 37 and not willing to do anymore than just date. And I am convinced all my girlfriends secretly are having affairs with my friends. Having the 2 most important people in your life stab you in the back like that is devastating. I got to the point where I had the rope ready, and I was going to go over my 4th floor balcony. Had I not drank myself into absolute oblivion that night and passed out, I would have done it.

The cool thing is, me and him mended fences about 2 years ago (12 years after the fact). And seeing what a giant, fat, disgusting pig she became, makes me thank him now in a weird way. But regardless, it was a devastating blow, that changed my life forever, and the way I look at people.

[Regular_John]

Has anyone posted the standard Reddit reply yet?
Lawyer Up, Hit the gym, delete facebook.

Pretty much the standard answer for any relationship issues.

[LGA]

Originally Posted by pylon

I had this exact thing happen to me when I was younger, we were not roomates, but the girl I was with for 5 years, hooked up with my best friend from when we were little kids, behind my back. This was the girl I was going to marry, and we had it all planned etc. Owned a house together etc. To this day that betrayal is what I credit for being 37 and not willing to do anymore than just date. And I am convinced all my girlfriends secretly are having affairs with my friends. Having the 2 most important people in your life stab you in the back like that is devastating. I got to the point where I had the rope ready, and I was going to go over my 4th floor balcony. Had I not drank myself into absolute oblivion that night and passed out, I would have done it.

The cool thing is, me and him mended fences about 2 years ago (12 years after the fact). And seeing what a giant, fat, disgusting pig she became, makes me thank him now in a weird way. But regardless, it was a devastating blow, that changed my life forever, and the way I look at people.

Coincidentally I have also made peace with my friend, even went to his wedding a while back. Tried to do the same with the ex, but a few minutes of talking to her and I was wondering why I ever got involved in the first place.

[Table 5]

I had a batshat-crazy stalker for 4 years that left me daily voicemails before she finally moved across the country to stare at my apt from across the street.......but I'd take that over a lot of the situations in this thread. Yikes.

[BergyBoy]

I thought I have had psycho ex's in the past. Thanks for putting things in perspective that it could always be worse.

[troutman]

Required Reading:

"Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's" Parenting Together While Living Apart


http://www.amazon.ca/Wednesday-House...8345580&sr=8-1

The well-being of the children involved is always more important than the concept of winning. When children are part of the picture, divorce doesn't mean the end of a couple's relationship. Instead, divorcing couples must establish new ground rules in order to remain good parents even while living apart.