Anyone here in their 30's and still single? But want marriage?

[Cluelessboy]

Originally Posted by CaramonLS

Are you decent looking?

Not going to lie, but that is going to be one of your biggest obstacles to meeting women. We live in a superficial world, and you've got to play the game.

Yes I am, Ive been told (though I have a babyface) Im very handsome. Im 6'2 and lean and ripped. In fact Ive had girls tell me in the past that they never approach me cause they assume im already taken

And you are right, we live in more of a superficial world today than its ever been. Though they wont admit it, most girls (and i know this forsure) wont ever date an overweight obess guy. They can say "looks dont matter...its inside that counts" all they want. Ask them if they would turn down a guy because hes obess and i gaurentee (unless the girl was obess herself) you will have a tough time finding a girl say no. Sad but true.

Ill be honest ive even tried replying to Craigslist postings, backpage postings and phone dating chatlines. Talk about self degrading.

Originally Posted by saillias

Have you tried OkCupid? That seems to be the most popular one, (maybe not in Calgary though.)

I think its just the whole online thing. I dont know but i just cant help but feel ashamed of myself for having to "pay" to meet women online. I shouldnt even have to be doing this. It just seems online is just too much of a toss up, a gamble basically. The whole talking behind a computer first then doing the whole email/txt thing meh. Gets tiresome after awhile. I wish I could just cut through all the nonsense and meet women face to face and get right to the point. Im a very blunt person btw, if you havent picked up on it yet.

Originally Posted by calgaryred

Dude if you want to meet someone try going out and talking to real people, internet dating sucks. I tried it and really I thought it was no different then walking into a bar.

I went out got some balls started talking to girls got some dates and met a great one. Internet dating has worked for some I don't deny that, but I had more fun going out and meeting people. Play the dating game for real go out make friends and if it works out date. That is way more productive, then reading profiles, and looking at pictures to find a mate.

Much easier said than done when 1) No longer in college (where it was prime for meeting girls) 2) Not into the bar/club scene 3) Pretty much everyone i know is either married and/or has kids and just goes to work and home.

[Kybosh]

Originally Posted by Cluelessboy

Yes I am, Ive been told (though I have a babyface) Im very handsome. Im 6'2 and lean and ripped. In fact Ive had girls tell me in the past that they never approach me cause they assume im already taken

And you are right, we live in more of a superficial world today than its ever been. Though they wont admit it, most girls (and i know this forsure) wont ever date an overweight obess guy. They can say "looks dont matter...its inside that counts" all they want. Ask them if they would turn down a guy because hes obess and i gaurentee (unless the girl was obess herself) you will have a tough time finding a girl say no. Sad but true.

I can sympathize. I've been told that I'm so smart, handsome and ripped that it's off putting.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Muta

I never said they were ineffective whatsoever; I just said that I don't do them.

I never said you did. I merely offered a different perspective that the OP might try

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by Cluelessboy

I think its just the whole online thing. I dont know but i just cant help but feel ashamed of myself for having to "pay" to meet women online. I shouldnt even have to be doing this. It just seems online is just too much of a toss up, a gamble basically. The whole talking behind a computer first then doing the whole email/txt thing meh. Gets tiresome after awhile. I wish I could just cut through all the nonsense and meet women face to face and get right to the point. Im a very blunt person btw, if you havent picked up on it yet.

OKCupid is free, amigo. None of this 'pay to talk to someone' or 'pay to reply to someone' stuff. All it requires is some time on your part.

As you are so blunt, I'd think that online dating would be right up your alley. You could put that in your profile, and if it's what a woman finds interesting, they can come to you.

[return to the red]

Married and divorced by the time I was 30 and it wasn't fun. I would have gladly taken the alternative of breaking up with my ex before we were married and being single then thinking life was perfect and having my heart ripped out when I thought everything was great and my life was all laid out before me.

[MoneyGuy]

To be clear, you guys don't mean Internet dating, do you? I think you mean finding someone on the 'Net then dating in person, right? Dating on the Internet would be weird. The Internet wasn't around when I was dating but I know people who married the people they found on the 'Net and are happy.

[afc wimbledon]

As far as I can tell it has never been easier to find a girlfriend, or random one night stands or someone that will wear a full size barney the dino suit while licking whipped cream off your arse.

You are looking for the impossible dream, an interesting, down to earth hottie.
That doesn't exist, you want a girl who isn't a 'golddigger' and would be a good wife then start looking at the less attractive slightly plump ones, preferably with some common interest you both share.

[KTown]

Alot of these ppl in this thread remind me of me. Let me tell you some advice as I have been through it.

From speaking with experience, one that has been married, and now separated don't force something just because you have a "deadline". It has to feel right. I am now 32 with a 3 year old boy and have never been happier. Yes I have less time and less money, but I am having more fun and yes if I ever meet the right girl one day I will get married again. If not, I don't care, there are plenty of things for single ppl to do now a days.

So on that note don't force it because it's the right thing to do as per society and family. It has to feel right.

PS. There are plenty of losers in Calgary, so I have had no issues meeting girls that want a relationship with me but I just don't want it yet. Remeber this woman can smell desparation and they hate it. They like confidence and humour but not ego-cocky confidence.

[PIMking]

yeah no marriage for me, nothing like getting into a financial deal with someone and they at some moment leaving/quitting and getting half or more of the gain.

[Dion]

Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

[Weiser Wonder]

I'm 24. Given the person I was 6 years ago is completely different from the person I am now, I'm not going down that road until I'm at least 30.

[CrusaderPi]

Married and separated before 30. Now I'm dating a girl I met here on CP. I win.

[flylock shox]

Originally Posted by KTown

Alot of these ppl in this thread remind me of me. Let me tell you some advice as I have been through it.

From speaking with experience, one that has been married, and now separated don't force something just because you have a "deadline". It has to feel right. I am now 32 with a 3 year old boy and have never been happier. Yes I have less time and less money, but I am having more fun and yes if I ever meet the right girl one day I will get married again. If not, I don't care, there are plenty of things for single ppl to do now a days.

So on that note don't force it because it's the right thing to do as per society and family. It has to feel right.

PS. There are plenty of losers in Calgary, so I have had no issues meeting girls that want a relationship with me but I just don't want it yet. Remeber this woman can smell desparation and they hate it. They like confidence and humour but not ego-cocky confidence.

That's where I stopped reading...

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by CrusaderPi

Married and separated before 30. Now I'm dating a girl I met here on CP. I win.

What the hell? There are single girls on this board, why wasn't I informed so I could virtually stalk them and creep them out.

Then the internet would be exactly like real life.

[mykalberta]

I am aware of the situation you speak of.

You are 30, you start dating women closer to your age - more "mature" maybe in the right frame of mind for a relationship, but they all seem to be crazy gold diggers.

Then you say screw it I dont care if anyone calls me a cradle robber and you date the 22-24 group, then you get so tired of them acting their age and hate the fact you have to in essence act like a parent in the relationship because they are just so ditzy that you wonder how the he77 you will ever meet anyone normal.

While I myself have been fortunate enough not to meet alot of gold diggers, I have met alot of women with - how shall we say excess baggage, at the moment I am unwilling to take on baggage that isnt my own - trust me there are alot of women out there with +1's.

I too had the 30 and married goal in mind, it just hasnt worked out. I will say be aware of the people who say "enjoy the single life" that is true to an extent but dont allow your enjoyment for the single life (aka the extremely self centered and lazy life IMO) to chart your path if you have something more in mind.

Just dont go into the marriage thought process as its something I should do, if you dont want to to do it, dont - they are right, it isnt for everyone.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by robocop

I know this will seem crazy, but the I suggest to the OP that he tries plenty of fish

Plenty of Fibs.

[blankall]

Originally Posted by mykalberta

I am aware of the situation you speak of.

You are 30, you start dating women closer to your age - more "mature" maybe in the right frame of mind for a relationship, but they all seem to be crazy gold diggers.

Then you say screw it I dont care if anyone calls me a cradle robber and you date the 22-24 group, then you get so tired of them acting their age and hate the fact you have to in essence act like a parent in the relationship because they are just so ditzy that you wonder how the he77 you will ever meet anyone normal.

While I myself have been fortunate enough not to meet alot of gold diggers, I have met alot of women with - how shall we say excess baggage, at the moment I am unwilling to take on baggage that isnt my own - trust me there are alot of women out there with +1's.

I too had the 30 and married goal in mind, it just hasnt worked out. I will say be aware of the people who say "enjoy the single life" that is true to an extent but dont allow your enjoyment for the single life (aka the extremely self centered and lazy life IMO) to chart your path if you have something more in mind.

Just dont go into the marriage thought process as its something I should do, if you dont want to to do it, dont - they are right, it isnt for everyone.

There are plenty of women out there with good jobs who are not gold diggers. In this day and age, it's difficult to have a career before your late 20s. Therefore, a lot of women in the 28-32 range are single, looking to settle down, and have their own money. You probably won't meet them at 1:45 AM at the club though.

From what I've seen from my single friends, the internet (plentyoffish etc.) seems like a fantastic way to meet someone. You get the advantage of an initial screening process that you can use to judge compatibilty. Also, a lot of quality women don't want to meet guys at clubs.

I think it's possible to meet quality women at bars, but you have to be fairly sober when you do it. Look for the women who are either also sober or who obviously don't go to the bars that often. Women out on friends bdays/stags are often fairly high quality. It's the bar stars that should be avoided (obviously), especially if they are in the permanent relationship stage, late 20s or older.

[kevman]

Originally Posted by mykalberta

I will say be aware of the people who say "enjoy the single life" that is true to an extent but dont allow your enjoyment for the single life (aka the extremely self centered and lazy life IMO) to chart your path if you have something more in mind.

Whoa...

Self centred - sure, if you call wanting to do what you want when you want self centered.

But where does the lazy thing come from? In my experience the "married" folk are the ones more likely to spend the night on the couch watching Lost. The single guys and gals are the ones going out, trying new things, playing sports, joining social clubs, etc. Perhaps for some it's all just an attempt to meet that special someone but it is far from lazy! IMO of course

[blankall]

Originally Posted by kevman

Whoa...

Self centred - sure, if you call wanting to do what you want when you want self centered.

But where does the lazy thing come from? In my experience the "married" folk are the ones more likely to spend the night on the couch watching Lost. The single guys and gals are the ones going out, trying new things, playing sports, joining social clubs, etc. Perhaps for some it's all just an attempt to meet that special someone but it is far from lazy! IMO of course

Try maintaining a house, looking after kids, etc... while also maintaining a relationship. A lot more work than going out and getting wasted then eating some pizza.

[Ozy_Flame]

Originally Posted by blankall

Try maintaining a house, looking after kids, etc... while also maintaining a relationship. A lot more work than going out and getting wasted then eating some pizza.

I'll take the latter.

Single people, however, are not lazy. They just have more time to devote to other things. And it's a schedule a lot of people want to have but can never get. But if you get married and have kids, you've chosen your life that way. It's not wrong, it's just different.