We need to recognize that the people crafting our news content have one aim, and that’s to grab and keep engagement. By far the most effective way to accomplish that is to foster anxiety and outrage. That task is made easy by our communications platforms - the most sophisticated engagement tools ever devised, with tens of billions of dollars and some of the smartest minds in the world behind them. It shouldn’t surprise us that most of the tech overlords who created these tools do not let their children use them.
I’m a former journalist, and I’ve steered my teenaged kids away from following the news. This would have astonished my 30 year old self. But I genuinely believe that until they’re adults, at least, they’ll have a more accurate picture of the reality if it’s based on what they see around them. The benefits of having a more expansive outlook isn’t enough to justify the fevered, unrelenting, anxiety-inducing distortions of our media environment.
If you really do feel you need to keep engaged with current affairs, choose one or two sober, trustworthy sources of news (I like About That on CBC), and limit yourself to accessing them a few times a week. Our parents and grandparents managed to be well-informed citizens by watching the nightly news for 20 minutes a few times a week and maybe flipping through a broadsheet newspaper for 5 mins a day if they were a real keener. There’s nothing so urgent happening that we need updates many times a day.
We should also keep in mind that most people don’t have much trouble disengaging from the news. Only around 30 per cent of people follow current affairs closely. People who are temperamentally anxious are more susceptible to doomscrolling. That means managing media consumption needs to be part of a broader strategy of managing anxiety.
I don’t agree with all of this but to offer another suggestion…consuming news from BBC is also an alternative for a more balance perspective
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I wouldn’t use the term activism as another poster did, but volunteerism has tremendous rewards. IMO forcing yourself into a commitment and then living up to it has great mental health advantages. You feel better about yourself, you make new connections and you help people.
In my experience, especially as your kids get older it is too easy to make your life all about yourself and your own interests.
Last edited by Strange Brew; 03-11-2025 at 09:42 PM.
I think for a lot of kids, growing up with an unflappable parent can be sorta unsetting when they have normal feelings and suddenly wonder if that means they're weak or broken. It can be oddly calming for them to hear that we're sometimes sad, overwhelmed, or disengaged a bit because it gives them permission to feel those things too.
That said, there's probably a limit, so don't take them out to the shed and show them your cork board with red yarn connecting everything to the Vatican or something.
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Unflappable is fine as long as you are not unapproachable. When transporting young cadets I had conversations with them that they were reluctant to have with their parents. Some spoke up in the presence of their peers in the car while others sought me out privately.
I think for a lot of kids, growing up with an unflappable parent can be sorta unsetting when they have normal feelings and suddenly wonder if that means they're weak or broken. It can be oddly calming for them to hear that we're sometimes sad, overwhelmed, or disengaged a bit because it gives them permission to feel those things too.
That said, there's probably a limit, so don't take them out to the shed and show them your cork board with red yarn connecting everything to the Vatican or something.
First of all, we all know that the Vatican are just simps for the Lizard-Men.
Secondly, I largely agree with you.
For instance, my kids all grew up with me driving them around. Now. I acknowledge that within the confines of my own car I can get somewhat angry, however those are always just words and never actions. I have never engaged in road rage despite being angry.
I taught all my kids how to drive.
So now? It is hilarious to drive with them. They quote some of my swearing and quips verbatim. And they've come up with some new ones that I like.
Its okay to be angry as you drive. Sometimes thats the only time that anger gets released. Just dont act on it.
__________________ The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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I am seriously debating committing myself for a while. The state of the world is overwhelming. The daily pain never ends from my accident I suffered. Lately my friends have been dropping like flies and I have gone to way too many funerals in the past month. Many days I don't even get out of bed, I probably sleep 12 hours a day. I am always angry and moody and don't feel motivated to do anything. I mean I am going through the motions at this point, why bother?
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I am seriously debating committing myself for a while. The state of the world is overwhelming. The daily pain never ends from my accident I suffered. Lately my friends have been dropping like flies and I have gone to way too many funerals in the past month. Many days I don't even get out of bed, I probably sleep 12 hours a day. I am always angry and moody and don't feel motivated to do anything. I mean I am going through the motions at this point, why bother?
Life is tough. I was put on escitalopram and my anxiety dropped to a manageable level. I know medication isn't for everyone but two months ago I was in a very bad situation, and while it's not over, the medication has helped me manage challenging situations better. Speak to your doctor if you haven't already. Keep surrounding yourself with family and friends who care too. Best wishes my friend. You'll get through this tough patch.
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My son was stillborn in February. I haven’t been back to work. I smoke all the weed I can get my hands on, and it’s a good day when I don’t drink before 2 in the afternoon. I have no patience with anyone, and I rarely see friends. I have been going to therapy once a week since it happened.
We got a Great Pyrenees puppy shortly after - she watches our daughter like a sheep, it’s adorable. Those two get me through the day.
Recent Flames activity has also been a welcome distraction.
But yeah. I’m not great.
On Monday, April 14 at 11:50am, my wife and I welcomed our son Ash into the world. He was born 14 months less a day from Rowan.
He is perfect. Mum is perfect. Big sister is perfect.
10/10.
__________________ ”All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.”
Rowan Roy W-M - February 15, 2024
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I despise the daily routine. Like others have mentioned , I hate my job, I feel it's becoming obsolete slowly each day, the bosses are all 'rainbows and unicorns' and expectations always remain high. I'm 44 now and cannot fathom how I can continue doing this for another 20+ years. By 2045, retirement may be 70 or not at all.
I can't even imagine going back to school or changing jobs, so I remain in the cycle of 'want to quit my job / can't quit my job'.
Best time in my job had to be 2010-2019, in my 30's. Best years of income, I enjoyed my job. During this era I get married and have two kids.
Covid comes, my income plummets like an anvil, then 2.5 years of lost income I would have made. Inflation comes, interest rates go up to combat that but doesn't work. So my mortgage goes up, cost of getting groceries to feed my family gets more expensive. Lower income, everything more expensive.
Covid and the time since then opened up an old wound, depression I had a long time ago re-emerges and worse than it ever was (I delt with depression on my own many years ago, now I'm dealing with it with my wife and two kids relying on me). I have been drinking more alcohol than I have for over 15 years. Indulge in edible cannabis sometimes to take the edge off. Truth be told, I get wasted off a 10g gummy that costs $4 vs a case of craft beer which is $20.
Crunching the numbers I tried lowering monthly expenses where possible. One thing I found was cheap home insurance, an online policy where you hand pick benefits affecting the cost at the bottom. I excluded hail damage thinking "I live in a part of the city that has never experienced damaging hail; that only happens in the NE". Aug 6, 2024 I get $25k damage from a hail storm. It dawned on me during that storm that I had excluded coverage 2 years before (auto renewed). Stupidity, I should have known better. But I also lament that insurance companies do it this way. The ones who opt for the most risk are of course the ones who are most financially vulnerable.
Society is polarized and as has always been the case and always will be, money rules everything. If you've got it, you're happy, if you don't you're looked down upon.
I haven't met a friend in years, and I've become comfortable with that. I work from home for a company whose HQ is in Toronto (of course). I work in my basement and most days the only ones I interact with at all are my wife and two kids.
I often feel, if I didn't have to feel guilt about my kids future with the taboo they'd have to live with that their Dad committed suicide I would have unalived myself already. But I think, I may go involuntarily because something else, at least they live without the taboo in that case.
I actually sourced a life insurance policy for the first time in my life, almost as if telling myself they likelihood of my family making a claim on that policy over the next 20 years is probably good. I noted on the policy application no coverage for suicide 'for first 2 years'. Ok, sure whatever.
I don't want to die, but I'm comfortable to not have existence, it wasn't my choice to exist in the first place.
And I worry (perhaps too much) for my kids future. Not with respect to my situation or feelings, more so just thinking the issues with society, climate change, workforce, AI, etc are not getting any better, no things are bound to get much much worse. Gen Z is struggling in the workforce (apparently) and can't afford anything. Gen Alpha likely does worse, these kids have had phones and screens in their faces since the beginning. My eldest daughter is 10 and nags that all her friends have phones with data (I give her my old phone that only works with wifi, so at home and in certain venues so she can contact me when needed), countering why she shouldn't have data on her phone is tough when her social influences have it different. I also have a 1 hr per day limit which she also respects.
Long story short, I feel life is more of a burden now more than ever. I want to work hard and support my kids until they're able to support themselves but that is becoming a cumbersome task to accomplish.
It is what it is, it sounds and is cliche, but I take on each day at a time and try my best to not think too much about the future which feels so incredibly bleak.
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I despise the daily routine. Like others have mentioned , I hate my job, I feel it's becoming obsolete slowly each day, the bosses are all 'rainbows and unicorns' and expectations always remain high. I'm 44 now and cannot fathom how I can continue doing this for another 20+ years. By 2045, retirement may be 70 or not at all.
I can't even imagine going back to school or changing jobs, so I remain in the cycle of 'want to quit my job / can't quit my job'.
Best time in my job had to be 2010-2019, in my 30's. Best years of income, I enjoyed my job. During this era I get married and have two kids.
Covid comes, my income plummets like an anvil, then 2.5 years of lost income I would have made. Inflation comes, interest rates go up to combat that but doesn't work. So my mortgage goes up, cost of getting groceries to feed my family gets more expensive. Lower income, everything more expensive.
Covid and the time since then opened up an old wound, depression I had a long time ago re-emerges and worse than it ever was (I delt with depression on my own many years ago, now I'm dealing with it with my wife and two kids relying on me). I have been drinking more alcohol than I have for over 15 years. Indulge in edible cannabis sometimes to take the edge off. Truth be told, I get wasted off a 10g gummy that costs $4 vs a case of craft beer which is $20.
Crunching the numbers I tried lowering monthly expenses where possible. One thing I found was cheap home insurance, an online policy where you hand pick benefits affecting the cost at the bottom. I excluded hail damage thinking "I live in a part of the city that has never experienced damaging hail; that only happens in the NE". Aug 6, 2024 I get $25k damage from a hail storm. It dawned on me during that storm that I had excluded coverage 2 years before (auto renewed). Stupidity, I should have known better. But I also lament that insurance companies do it this way. The ones who opt for the most risk are of course the ones who are most financially vulnerable.
Society is polarized and as has always been the case and always will be, money rules everything. If you've got it, you're happy, if you don't you're looked down upon.
I haven't met a friend in years, and I've become comfortable with that. I work from home for a company whose HQ is in Toronto (of course). I work in my basement and most days the only ones I interact with at all are my wife and two kids.
I often feel, if I didn't have to feel guilt about my kids future with the taboo they'd have to live with that their Dad committed suicide I would have unalived myself already. But I think, I may go involuntarily because something else, at least they live without the taboo in that case.
I actually sourced a life insurance policy for the first time in my life, almost as if telling myself they likelihood of my family making a claim on that policy over the next 20 years is probably good. I noted on the policy application no coverage for suicide 'for first 2 years'. Ok, sure whatever.
I don't want to die, but I'm comfortable to not have existence, it wasn't my choice to exist in the first place.
And I worry (perhaps too much) for my kids future. Not with respect to my situation or feelings, more so just thinking the issues with society, climate change, workforce, AI, etc are not getting any better, no things are bound to get much much worse. Gen Z is struggling in the workforce (apparently) and can't afford anything. Gen Alpha likely does worse, these kids have had phones and screens in their faces since the beginning. My eldest daughter is 10 and nags that all her friends have phones with data (I give her my old phone that only works with wifi, so at home and in certain venues so she can contact me when needed), countering why she shouldn't have data on her phone is tough when her social influences have it different. I also have a 1 hr per day limit which she also respects.
Long story short, I feel life is more of a burden now more than ever. I want to work hard and support my kids until they're able to support themselves but that is becoming a cumbersome task to accomplish.
It is what it is, it sounds and is cliche, but I take on each day at a time and try my best to not think too much about the future which feels so incredibly bleak.
Try to spend more time with your kids, especially outside. Walk in a park, toss a ball around, whatever they like doing. Their enjoyment will naturally lift your spirits too. You may be surprised to find it works better than gummies or beer.
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*snip* It is what it is, it sounds and is cliche, but I take on each day at a time and try my best to not think too much about the future which feels so incredibly bleak.
Thanks for sharing so much and I’m sorry to hear it’s been a battle. Also, anytime your thoughts even consider a possibility of a future of self harm, you should be actively sourcing professional counselling. Just talk to them about exactly that thought you had filling out a life insurance policy, please.
I just wanted to reply to this small point quoted. Not to dismiss your feelings, but I don’t believe it’s bleak to live in the moment. That’s real. Today is literally the only thing that actually exists. Cliche return: tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
I’ve had to work hard at erasing 99% of my future expectations for myself and my kid. I was spending unsustainable amounts of time and stress worrying about the future, and I did so for a long time.
Last edited by Scroopy Noopers; 04-25-2025 at 07:33 AM.
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