My wife & I are separating - Page 4 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Rerun · 06-18-2010, 09:53 AM

Check this out....

http://forums.beyond.ca/st/304183/best-divorce-lawyers/

troutman · 06-18-2010, 09:54 AM

Old German expression: Other mothers have nice daughters as well.

bossy22 · 06-18-2010, 10:01 AM

The Best advice I got was to get a good lawyer immediately. One that will listen to what you want and how you want to handle it. It took a few phone calls, but I did get lawyer that worked for me.
Then the second best advice I got was from the lawyer. She told me to stay in the house. If you leave your house, it can be viewed as abandonment. Too many guys do the "good guy" thing, but get screwed later on.
Then set up how you're going to handle the kids. I went for 50% immediately, which helped me, because when my ex wanted to make it so that I had the kids only on weekends, the precedent was already set, so it stayed %50.
I talked with child psychologists as well. They told me that structure, is going to be one of the most important things. Bouncing from home to home is hard enough once a week. The kids have a lot of stress in their lives when this happens, and they need that structure and most importantly to feel loved. Also, NEVER talk ill of your spouse in front of the kids...even though you may want to. It puts them square in the middle.
Whenever it starts to get ugly, remind her, or yourself, you have to focus on what's best for the kids.

Rerun · 06-18-2010, 10:05 AM

Everybody is saying get a good lawyer...

But I don't see too many recommendations.

Come on guys... lets give CC some names. This isn't something you want to go to the yellow pages for.

Buff · 06-18-2010, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Temporary_User

I'm young and single so I have no real advice to give. Sorry to hear though, hope it all works for the best.

One thing that I saw on The Sopranos though was Tony (the main character) was given the advice to call every divorce attorney in town. I don't know how true any of this is, but if you do that then your wife won't be able to use any of those attorney's because they would have a conflict of interest.
So if that is true, your wife would miss out on the top attorneys in town.

This is true for nearly any matter. My sister-in-law had very few choices for lawyers because her ex-boyfriend consulted with dozens of lawyers regarding custody of their kid. It took her several tries to find a lawyer because each one said that they had already consulted with her ex on the matter. She later switched lawyers a couple of times because whenever she found a lawyer they turned out to be horrible. Ten years later and her ex still takes her to court over every stupid little thing (which is burning him because now he cant' find a lawyer that is willing to help him)

Tron_fdc · 06-18-2010, 10:23 AM

Barbara J.H. Widdowson, Q.C.

Soby Boyden Lenz
500, 1000 - 5th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta T2P 4V1
Phone: 262-0000
Fax: 262-6552

I would recommend her. She helped me a lot, and gave me the no BS assessment of my situation.

VladtheImpaler · 06-18-2010, 10:24 AM

My mistake - for some reason I thought Troutman did family law. OK, if you want a good family lawyer, PM me and I'll give you a name.

Buff · 06-18-2010, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

My mistake - for some reason I thought Troutman did family law. OK, if you want a good family lawyer, PM me and I'll give you a name.

Then tell'em Lanny sent ya!

troutman · 06-18-2010, 10:26 AM

I respect Doug Moe and Kevin Hannah:

http://www.calgaryfamilylawyers.com/doug_moe.html

http://www.calgaryfamilylawyers.com/kevin_hannah.html

Coys1882 · 06-18-2010, 10:30 AM

My sister is going through a divorce right now and one thing that has helped a lot in her struggles has been to journal everything that happens down to the date and time between her and her ex.

Lots of he said/she said goes on during this time and the fact that she's been able to capture it with specific dates has really given her an advantage.

troutman · 06-18-2010, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coys1882

My sister is going through a divorce right now and one thing that has helped a lot in her struggles has been to journal everything that happens down to the date and time between her and her ex.

Lots of he said/she said goes on during this time and the fact that she's been able to capture it with specific dates has really given her an advantage.

I wish people wouldn't pursue their divorces in terms of winning and losing. The collaborative system >>> adversarial system (but it takes two to play).

DownhillGoat · 06-18-2010, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troutman

I respect Doug Moe and Kevin Hannah:

</p>
I've heard very good things about Doug Moe from a former co-worker.

Resolute 14 · 06-18-2010, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troutman

I wish people wouldn't pursue their divorces in terms of winning and losing. The collaborative system >>> adversarial system (but it takes two to play).

Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

Coys1882 · 06-18-2010, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troutman

I wish people wouldn't pursue their divorces in terms of winning and losing. The collaborative system >>> adversarial system (but it takes two to play).

I agree but her husband wasn't the nicest guy, likes his drink and drugs a bit too much and was fighting it every step of the way.

Tron_fdc · 06-18-2010, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troutman

I wish people wouldn't pursue their divorces in terms of winning and losing. The collaborative system >>> adversarial system (but it takes two to play).

That was EXACTLY the advice I got. We ended up doing it amicably, and we saved a ton of money on legal fees. I know a few people that did it otherwise, and they spent half their net equity on lawyers.

You legal folk have a funny way of coming up with a legal charge, when it's all said and done, that equals almost exactly what the retainer is, plus half what you're worth

speede5 · 06-18-2010, 11:15 AM

http://thelovedarebook.com/

DuffMan · 06-18-2010, 11:34 AM

http://www.nomarriage.com/

To Be Quite Honest · 06-18-2010, 12:05 PM

I peruse divorce as one individual wanting to release themselves from a contract. Breaking a contract is going to cost them. That is all a marriage is at this point.

On a different note.

Family of Men is a good place to talk as well. You will have a lot of support and discussion from many people who have been there done that. http://www.profilecanada.com/company...ort_Society_AB

flamesaresmokin · 06-18-2010, 12:11 PM

Don't want to be a downer here but maybe part of this divorce has to do with the fact that instead of talking to your wife or family about this you are talking to strangers on a message board? Good lord.

frinkprof · 06-18-2010, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flamesaresmokin

Don't want to be a downer here but maybe part of this divorce has to do with the fact that instead of talking to your wife or family about this you are talking to strangers on a message board? Good lord.

Is it not possible that he might be doing both? I know I have the ability to talk to be people face-to-face while also spending some time online discussing things with strangers.