Trespassers in my yard.... what to do?

[schteve_d]

I'd rent an excavator and dig your entire yard down forty feet or so.

[Frank the Tank]

Why not wait up one night for them and shoot them with a paintball gun? Won't kill them, but it'll scare them to death.

[Rhettzky]

Get a scarecrow.

[The Fonz]

You could try putting one of these up:

[HPLovecraft]

Paintball gun is a good idea. With laser pointer, if possible.

[stang]

Why not help out your farmer friend by storing some of his barbwire for him...

You wouldnt want it in the middle of your yard so stack it up by your fence. You are such a nice friend to help him out like that.

Totally serious too

[simonsays]

You're renting, so barbwire is probably out. But if you were to install 2" screws into your brace beam (likely a 2by4), so that they were only just sticking out that'd deter them. They'd get some nasty scratches and punctures and it'd probably be a loud night, but they wouldn't come back.

Even at a mm or 2 protruding those green screws will do nasty (but only surface) damage without costing much, pissing off your landlord or causing an escalation. It'll get rid of them real legit like, and will leave you knowing that you caused them pain.

[stang]

Why is barbwire out? You dont even have to attach it to anything...


just leave a tangled mess of it at the bottom of the fence...

like this


Dont string it, just let them get tangled in it.

Its not a trap.. you were just storing it there.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by flames85

thanks for the suggestions guys... the razor wire is about the only one that might work, or else doing some sort of scare tactic! i will probably go out and ask them politely the first time to stop, then i am gonna need to step it up.

First of all: What the hell is wrong with you? Seriously? This is a perfectly rational idea, theres no way you got this off CP, I've been here a long time, and I must say that rational solutions to real life issues are not this place's strong suit.

Further, I recommend:



But maybe a real person's head....

[Canuck-Hater]

Yeah Im not too sure Id want iron spikes, guy gets injured, lawsuit, etc. You could seriously injure someone like that. A little excessive I think. Id do tripwire that sets off a very loud alarm.

[malcolmk14]

Originally Posted by schteve_d

I'd rent an excavator and dig your entire yard down forty feet or so.

Wait until a reasonable time to dig though, like 10 or 11 AM. Your neighbours will be pissed off if you start digging at 7.

[You Need a Thneed]

set up a pit of lava on the other side of the fence. And have sharks with fricking laser beams swimming in a moat.

[Meelapo]

This would be the greatest thread of all time if someone can construct a suggestion involving Kanye West. OF ALL TIME!!!

[Locke]

Clearly the only solution is to pay Kanye to molest fish in your back yard. No one would want any part of that.

[I_am_Beast]

cover the entire fence with fake blood, then when they get home in the light it;ll looked like they killed someone

[BuzzardsWife]

i like the motion light sensors idea..my friend had a sign that said - BEWARE OF DOG AND I"M NOT KIDDING! pretty low life of people to cut through your yard though

[twotoner]

Put the hose on em.

[icarus]

Tell your landlord and refuse to pay the full month's rent due to loss of amenity until they take care of the problem. It's a win-win situation!

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Have a couple of those vats they use to deep fry turkeys sitting by the fence. Make sure they're turned to high and full of oil.

Mmmmmmmmmm..... deep fried intruder!

[Rhettzky]

Stay up and follow them home. Then go back first thing in the AM and make a crap load of racked in front of their house. Or crap in their mailbox. Or buy an eye patch and wear it over to the bar in question and tell all the patrons the story about how you tried to cut through the yard across the way and was attacked by a crazy ex-army vet weilding a solder iron. Or move.