06-11-2009, 02:15 PM
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#61
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phaneufenstein
this thread gets that Lil Jon song in my head
aaah skeet skeet motha....
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I am pretty grateful I have no idea WTF a Lil Jon is.
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06-11-2009, 02:39 PM
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#62
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunderball
My girlfriend is a neonatal nurse, so I get bombarded with this information. Essentially, the birth control pill is 99.5% effective. There are three major exceptions though:
One, human error. You can take one late, or even miss one if you compensate your schedule, but miss more than that, and its ineffective for 7 days.
Two, medication issues. Antibiotics are the big ones, but there are apparently other medications that can also render the birth control pill inert and useless. Many women forget to mention to their doctor/pharmacist that they are on a pill and disclosure can be forgotten/overlooked.
Three, and this is the very scary one for guys. Some women, granted VERY few, ovulate twice per month. When this happens, don't ask me how, but its possible for this second ovum to be impregnated.
Apparently, you have to be very careful if one somehow gets pregnant while on the pill. The chemical cocktail is apparently not very good for babies at all, so frequent screenings are suggested. Plus, there's the high chance alcohol and tobacco have been consumed during that time.
As for the condom thing, its not the length that needs the magnum, its the girth. Anecdotally, apparently condoms in Japan are not made for North Americans. My buddy had to get some sent in.
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Or as we like to call them Satan.
Pretty awesome defense though.
Her - "You shot it in my eye"
Him - "Hey you might be blind but at least you're (note correct use of you're as oppossed to your) not pregnant"
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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06-11-2009, 02:42 PM
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#64
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Norm!
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Your probably looking in the wrong shelf then. I think the genere kinda sounds like American pie. Or thats what I've heard.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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06-11-2009, 02:42 PM
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#65
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
Your probably looking in the wrong shelf then. I think the genere kinda sounds like American pie. Or thats what I've heard.
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or Dream Pie
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06-11-2009, 02:48 PM
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#66
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Norm!
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Better
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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06-11-2009, 02:59 PM
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#67
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
Your probably looking in the wrong shelf then. I think the genere kinda sounds like American pie. Or thats what I've heard.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boblobla
or Dream Pie
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is that like the '5 second rule'?
__________________
AS SEEN ON TV
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06-11-2009, 04:06 PM
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#68
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Lifetime Suspension
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boblobla
or dream pie
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06-11-2009, 04:11 PM
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#69
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One of the Nine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DESS
But withdrawal is 100% effective at cracking me up. Nothing funnier than a chick laying there with a map of the Hawaiin Islands plastered all over her belly.
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Holy crap that cracked me up. Now I'm not so sure whether I'm happy DESS was banned.
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06-11-2009, 04:12 PM
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#70
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Lifetime Suspension
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4X4
Holy crap that cracked me up. Now I'm not so sure whether I'm happy DESS was banned.
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I almost fell off my chair laughing. At least he went on a high note.
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06-11-2009, 04:18 PM
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#71
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not sure
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Is that what got him banned? Even I laughed at that one and I REALLY disliked the guy.
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06-11-2009, 04:19 PM
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#72
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Market Mall Food Court
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4X4
Holy crap that cracked me up. Now I'm not so sure whether I'm happy DESS was banned.
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at first i thought he was banned because of that post.
My dog just high fived me. hehe
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06-11-2009, 04:20 PM
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#73
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: At the Gates of Hell
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Oh DESS is definitely an inspiration for a fictional character. Couldn't make his stuff up.
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06-11-2009, 04:23 PM
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#74
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Redundant Minister of Redundancy
Self-Banned
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missdpuck
Oh DESS is definitely an inspiration for a fictional character. Couldn't make his stuff up.
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I'm pretty sure Dess was a fictional character. 
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06-11-2009, 04:28 PM
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#75
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One of the Nine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoinAllTheWay
Is that what got him banned? Even I laughed at that one and I REALLY disliked the guy.
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Naw, he was whining about his infractions in the neo nazi thread and it appears to be the straw that broke yada yada.
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06-11-2009, 04:29 PM
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#76
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: At the Gates of Hell
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A mysterious acronym, that DESS.
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06-11-2009, 04:36 PM
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#77
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Calgary
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Pulling out works for guys who can control any sort of expulsion. If nothing exits him than nothing gets into her. It worked great when I was 16.
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06-11-2009, 04:45 PM
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#78
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Not the one...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burn_this_city
Pulling out works for guys who can control any sort of expulsion. If nothing exits him than nothing gets into her. It worked great when I was 16.
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When you were 16 there was no time for leakage before the damn broke.
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06-11-2009, 04:48 PM
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#79
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Has Towel, Will Travel
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Vasectomies are 100% effective, provided the doctor doesn't mess up. It makes for a great pickup line too ... "Hey babe, I've been snipped. Wanna dance?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gozer
When you were 16 there was no time for leakage before the damn broke.
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Larf ... the sex manual for 16 year olds is pretty short alright. In, out. Repeat if necessary.
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06-11-2009, 04:59 PM
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#80
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Market Mall Food Court
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ford Prefect
Vasectomies are 100% effective, provided the doctor doesn't mess up. It makes for a great pickup line too ... "Hey babe, I've been snipped. Wanna dance?"
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Hmmm castrations also goes snip snip. hahaha
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