"Cheesey" Jokes that still make you laugh...

[Nuje]

If you breathe oxygen in the day, what do you breathe at night?

"Nite"rogen.

What kind of bees give milk?

Boo-bees.


I'll try to remember more tomorrow, hah.

[transplant99]

A man walks into the supermarket and proceeds to buy

one pack of hamburger

one tube of toothpaste

one can of soup

one apple

one tomato

one bottle of soda


He goes up to the cashier and starts laying down his items for purchase. The young lady behind the register says, "hey man, you must be singleeh?'

To which he replies with a sly smile on his face, "yes I am, why do you ask?"

She says...."cuz your ugly".

[Cheese]

Did ya hear about the old Indian chief who drank 80 cups of tea one night?

They found him dead the next day in his Tea Pee!

[firebug]

Q- What are cheaper, deer nuts or beer nuts?

A- Deer nuts are... beer nuts are a-dollar-fifty, while deer nuts are under a buck.


~bug

[Lucky boy]

Two drunks walk out of a bar late at night.

First guy says to the other: "Look how beautiful the moon is"

Second guy responds: "No you idiot, it is the sun"

After arguing for a couple of minutes, the two guys find a third drunk on the street and ask him: "Hey, is that the sun or the moon".

The Third guy responds: "Not sure, I am from out of town"

[prarieboy]

Why do Canadians do it doggie style???


So they can both watch Hockey Night in Canada.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

a bear walks into a bar, the bartender looks and him and says "what'll it be?" the bear replied "I'll have a rum .......................................... and coke." The bartender says "alright but why the big pause?" The bar looks at his hands and says "I dunno they've always been that way?"

A seal walked into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The seal replied "anything but a Canadian Club".

A doctor gets ready to see a patient in the waiting room, the nurse hands him the file and it simply says "it's stuck to him". The doctor goes into the room and sees a man wearing a Leafs jersey with a frog stuck to his head. The doctor says "so what seems to be the problem". "I've got this thing stuck to my butt!" Replied the frog.

A little Newfie is at the bar when an American tourist comes in. As the American walks by the Newf he hits the man from Newfoundland knocking him off his barstool and says "ha ha that's a judo chop from Japan!" The Newf gets up and back on his bar stool and continues his drinking. A short while later the American walks back to the bar and hits the man from Newfoundland off of his bar stool again, then says "ha ha that's a karade chop from Korea!" The Newf now gets up and is mad, but doesn't say a word, doesn't hit him back, he just leaves the bar. About 30 minutes later the Newf returned to the bar and hit the American on the back of the head knocking him out cold. The Newf then looked at the bartender and said "When he comes to tell him that's a hockey stick from Canadian Tire!"

[Nufy]

Who wrote the book..."Rusty Bedsprings"





















I.P. Nightly............

[Nufy]

Next up....

Dead baby jokes...........

[Regulator75]

When does a camel need water the most?








When it's on FIRE!

[JBR]

What has 2 legs and is red all over? ............ Half a cat.

How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagon? .... 2 in the front, 2 in the back.

How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge? ..... 8 footprints in the butter.

How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge? ..... There's a Volkswagon parked in your driveway.. (Insert rimshot)..

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

How do you put an elephant in the fridge in 3 easy steps?

1) Open Door
2) Put the elepahant inside
3) Close the door


How do you put a Giraffe in the fridge in 4 easy steps?
1)Open Door
2) Remove Elepahant
3) Put Giraffe in
4) Close Door

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Noah's ark was getting ready to leave, but he was missing one animal. What was it?



The Giraffe. He's still in the fridge.

[Bobblehead]

Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz

Noah's ark was getting ready to leave, but he was missing one animal. What was it?



The Giraffe. He's still in the fridge.

Or...

In a race between the elephant and the giraffe, who would win?

The elephant. The giraffe is still in the fridge.

[Bill Bumface]

What did the man say when he saw the elephant walking over the hill?

"Hey! Look at the elephant walking over the hill!"

What did the man say when he saw the elephant walking over the hill with sunglasses on?

Nothing. He didn't recognize him.

__________________________________________________ _________________________

What do you call a leper's bathwater?

Stew

__________________________________________________ _______________

Confucius say, man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Confucius say, it take many screw to build crib, but only one to fill it.

[ken0042]

Confucius say, man who goes through airport turnstile backwords is going to Bangkok.

Confucius say, man who fight with wife during day, get no peace at night.

[fredr123]

Originally Posted by ken0042

Confucius say, man who goes through airport turnstile backwords is going to Bangkok.

Confucius say, man who fight with wife during day, get no peace at night.

Confucius say, baseball wrong: man with four balls cannot walk

[OgieOgilthorpe]

A Chinese couple gets married.

She's a virgin.

Truth be told, he is not all that experienced either.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her
husband undresses.

He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.

"My darring" he says, I know dis your firss time and you berry
frighten.

I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting
you want.
Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes
will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for
her request.

She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I want to try somethin I
have heard about... numbaa 69".

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries...

"You want... Chicken wiff broccori?"

[Incogneto]

A giraffe walks into a bar.....He turns to the patrons and announces 'High Balls on Me!'

[Incogneto]

How does a blind parachutist know when the ground is close?
His guide dog's lead goes slack.

What's better than finding Barney the Dinosaur in a garbage can?
Finding him in TEN garbage cans!

a blind man walks into a bar.....takes his dog, grabs it by the tail, and starts whipping it around.
Bartender says 'What the hell are you doing, man?''Just taking a look around!'

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The barrtender says to him "Hey we have drink named after you."
'you have a drink named 'Steve'?