Youth Sports Tryouts, Team Selection, and Subsequent Rejection

[manwiches]

Originally Posted by MBates

Picture it manwiches, Caroline Alberta, 2002. A small speedy defenceman tries to make it to the Midget AAA team in Red Deer. When he is cut, his exit interview seems as bad as it could get - he is told in no uncertain terms he is just too small to be able to play at that level of hockey. Down to the AA team in Innisfail he goes. At this stage, this could have been a soul-crushing career-ender. However, he comes from a background where giving up is not really an option...and he decides to use this set-back as a development opportunity and make it his mission to prove the Red Deer AAA folks just how wrong they were.



In doing so, he ironically would never play Midget AAA hockey.



Instead, he spends his next 4 years with the Medicine Hat Tigers, including 2 years as their Captain and a CHL All-star. Manages to pick up a couple Gold medals with the Canadian World Junior team, a couple WHL Championships, and CHL Defenceman of the Year awards.



He eventually goes on to make about $32 million playing for 5 NHL teams (is an assistant captain on a great team for a stint) with this stat line: GP 912 G 48 A 206 PTS 254. In the playoffs he adds another GP 60 G 3 A 17 PTS 20.



He also played in two World Championships for Team Canada.



The bio on his last NHL page recalls that he first converted from a forward to a defenceman at age 10 (I never hesitate to take an opportunity to point out I was part of that decision ).



The point is, most of the time players end up about where they should be, even though there are always some objectively unfair results from the tryout process. Getting told you are the only one being separated from the pack is never easy. Being initially emotional about it is totally fine.



But, it is U11. At that stage, Kris Russell was only just starting to play defence and was still years away from that "bad cut" he would face in Red Deer.



If your little guy loves the game then that is all that matters. If he finds the motivation to reach his personal best in the sport because of this experience, there is a decent chance he (and his parents) will look back on this one day as possibly the best thing that could have ever happened to him.

Haha. I love this story.

Let me make one thing clear. I never held any hope or expectation my son will make a profession playing hockey or any sport. He's more of an intellectual, which will serve him much greater in life. All my hope is for him is to learn to celebrate and lose as a member of a team, along w many other team lessons (this one included). Learn that hard work pays off, learn some leadership skills, and teammate skills.

As a parent though, I want the best for my child, and just hurt seeing him hurt. That being said, he is such a strong, kind and intelligent child. I couldn't be prouder of him.

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[Derek Sutton]

Another thing to remember is that as he gets older there will be more opportunities for him to play at higher levels despite being cut. For example if Mom and Dad pay $12k up front your son will have a spot on a “Jr A” team in Vulcan or Mayerthorpe or Fox Creek. Yes, apparently these little towns now have JrA hockey teams. Added bonus off all the ice time he can handle as most of these teams only have 12 or so rostered players.

A bit OT but parents and players need to quit falling for these sham “leagues” and “teams” it is really quite sad…

[CroCop]

Tryouts season is always a mixed bag. For the few at the top it’s exciting as they know where they stand and can perform without pressure. They are confident in their abilities and usually come to camp prepared. For the others it’s a stressful time and especially their parents included. Parents will live and die with every rep and over analyze the tryout and this usually will get relayed to the player in one way or another creating a negative stressful effect. If parents could chill it would be best for everyone but as parent I know it’s not in our nature lol. The parents who have the hardest time managing emotion are gonna always find their kid on the outside looking in at some point regardless of the kids ability to play! Another thing to remember is that higher tiered teams are largely decided before tryouts begin but there is always opportunity for some players to break in.

When someone gets left behind by a core group. The first place you have to look is from within. First ask did we keep up with playing ability of the others? Did we do extra like power skating,spring hockey, camps or pre tryout skates? Not keeping up is usually #1 for getting left behind by a group. But #2 would be to ask if you or your child pissed someone off along the way. After reflecting on this objectively and #1 is the problem it can sometimes be fixed with hard work and the right attitude. If it’s the second…well that’s usually the end of that.

Getting cut sucks but keep things in perspective. Never get too high or too low. Move on and be better for it. Be attentive to their feelings and help them try to deflect but don’t be too soft in your approach and methods I don’t believe it’s as helpful in the long run.

[Coach]

I coached Bantam hockey div 1 community and quadrant over a number of years. This means I went through community evaluations where we had to place teams 1-5 etc.. and also higher levels where you're more building a team from the best available.

To the OP: That kid is too young to give up on improving their way up in only a matter of months of they really want to. It seems like a long time to a kid, but something I tried to tell my players that I wish someone had told me was how much you can really accomplish in a short time with some extra effort. It sucks you missed the chance with your friends this year, I've been there. But a year is not a long time. You can either let it push you away from the competition, or make you want to be undeniable next time and that IS a part of what drives sports in general. It's okay if someone doesn't want to be part of that sort of competition, but really, no part of life is free from that. Life is always going to be a struggle to be valued.

I'll admit the community teams can be hard to place sometimes when it comes to the middle ranks. It's easy to see who belongs at the top and the bottom. But when you only have a few viewings of each player it can be hard to and they could be placed on 3 or 4, doesn't mean they couldn't play on they couldn't have been on the 2 team and we just missed something. Or maybe they just had a couple bad skates, it happens. Surprisingly little politics involved in our community days. We weren't parents and coaching the top team so I think that helped because we weren't there with any other motive than to be fair.

Quadrant was different a bit in the way that coaches are doing the only evaluating so it can be skewed towards what they want on their teams and what they specifically like. And, again, at that level and age too, improvement can happen fast. One kid we had, the other coach's wanted to cut halfway through the tryouts before even breaking them into teams. We said we wanted them so they stayed. Kid worked his tail off. A few years later is captaining the Midget AAA team. What if we didn't ask to keep him in tryouts? Does he stick with hockey even? Who knows. Personally, for our squad, we didn't really care what level a kid played the year before. It was pretty rare you'd see someone going from Div 5 or 6 to AA, but not unheard of. A teenager can improve so rapidly, and sometimes that's the sign of someone really wanting to learn and get better.

If your friends are getting better and you want to keep playing with them, you'll have to keep up. If your friends cut you out because you're not on the same team, well they're a-hole kids and that's not unheard of and sucks. But you'll find better friends.

[CroCop]

Originally Posted by Derek Sutton

Another thing to remember is that as he gets older there will be more opportunities for him to play at higher levels despite being cut. For example if Mom and Dad pay $12k up front your son will have a spot on a “Jr A” team in Vulcan or Mayerthorpe or Fox Creek. Yes, apparently these little towns now have JrA hockey teams. Added bonus off all the ice time he can handle as most of these teams only have 12 or so rostered players.

A bit OT but parents and players need to quit falling for these sham “leagues” and “teams” it is really quite sad…

The KI is pretending to be Jr A now too