Destination Weddings - Need help!

[Hi-Psi]

Originally Posted by RyZ

Just dont be bitter at your family and friends that roll their eyes and turn your invite down.

Honestly, the ONLY people that have been bitter to this plan are the few people in this thread. I guess I can hold off on the mass wedding invite to the CP faithful.

That being said, thank you to those that PM'd me with suggestions and recommendations and to those in the thread that actually provided input that matters.

[dino7c]

Originally Posted by Hi-Psi

Honestly, the ONLY people that have been bitter to this plan are the few people in this thread. I guess I can hold off on the mass wedding invite to the CP faithful.

That being said, thank you to those that PM'd me with suggestions and recommendations and to those in the thread that actually provided input that matters.

Honestly its pretty naive to think this with 75 guests...some people are bitter they are just talking behind your back.

randos on CP will tell you what they really think.

That's not to say its a bad decision, can't please everyone...getting married and starting a family that is a pretty good lesson to be quite honest.

[Hi-Psi]

Originally Posted by dino7c

Honestly its pretty naive to think this with 75 guests...some people are bitter they are just talking behind your back.

That wasn't the question. I was asking if people had recommendations on wedding planners, destinations, resorts, etc.

I don't care that some people might be bitter, I don't care whether you or Sliver or anyone else for that matter has an issue with destination weddings either. This is OUR wedding and we can choose what we do for OUR own wedding. We don't need to please everyone and we don't need to cater to the 5-95% of guests that might not show up for said destination wedding. Call it selfish, I don't care. I've been married before and I hated my first wedding. It catered to my ex-wifes family and friends, everything was what THEY wanted, not what WE wanted. Should have known the marriage was doomed from the start.

We have spoken to our closest family and friends and we decided together that a destination wedding is what we want. So that is what we're going to do. In fact, two other couples in our friend group are now thinking about joining us and having up to 3 weddings during that week, so that we can all enjoy a holiday together and be there for each others weddings. If people want to come, great! If they don't want to come or can't afford to, that's fine too! The only ones that would hold a grudge or be bitter are people we wouldn't want coming to the wedding anyway. Period.

These open forum communities are going to #### because of these people that constantly feel the need to #### on everyone's threads and posts. I was looking for recommendations and help planning OUR destination wedding, something that my fiance and I are both very excited to plan. And yet I come in here and see all these negative comments, from people providing no real input, other than it's selfish? Yeah... Thanks for contributing...

The constant negativity coming from random people online and on social media, that's the real pandemic these days IMO

*Again thank you to all those that actually had some helpful input and those that sent me recommendations through PM and email. Appreciate all your help!

[Sliver]

Screeching about this being "OUR" wedding makes you sound like a bridezilla.

[Geraldsh]

Having three couples sharing wedding/destinations sounds like fun!

[Sainters7]

Honestly try not to take it too personally. As mentioned it was just unfortunate timing for the question as I'm sure you were unaware there was just a whole thing about destination weddings on this board just last month that got a bit heated.

You unwittingly brought up a recent touchy subject, I knew where this was going the second I saw the new thread sadly haha. Glad you found some usable advice in here and enjoy the wedding!

[Hi-Psi]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Screeching about this being "OUR" wedding makes you sound like a bridezilla.

Proving my point exactly. #troll.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Screeching about this being "OUR" wedding makes you sound like a bridezilla.

Who’s wedding is it besides the bride and grooms?

[Danijam]

I’m not going to win any CP brownie points for this opinion, but as someone who eloped 20 years ago this all seems like such a crazy headache. For this OP and the one in the other thread planning a wedding for 2024 (?!), what if you guys just got married next weekend - it’s totally possible to plan it - then get to enjoy that much more time being married? I think I’m missing the self-celebratory-party-planning chip, but it seems like the more lavish and complex the wedding plan the more stress it creates for all involved. Isn’t being married the point, so why not just hop to it?

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Weitz

Who’s wedding is it besides the bride and grooms?

It's a day everyone shares. Like, if I'm going to throw a birthday party for my wife, for instance, I'm going to try to plan something everybody will enjoy. I won't come up with a unilateral plan that suits her in spite of the needs/wants/accommodations required for all the guests. I won't plan an event that will cost people thousands of dollars and a week of their time to attend. That would be absurd. So even though it's her birthday, I'm going to take everyone who she would like to have there into account because we're not narcissists.

Weddings are the same. It's a day of significance for the couple; however, as soon as you start inviting people you need to take them into consideration and not treat them like unpaid extras. That is, unless you're selfish and don't care to be more thoughtful.

[calgarygeologist]

Originally Posted by Sliver

It's a day everyone shares. Like, if I'm going to throw a birthday party for my wife, for instance, I'm going to try to plan something everybody will enjoy. I won't come up with a unilateral plan that suits her in spite of the needs/wants/accommodations required for all the guests. I won't plan an event that will cost people thousands of dollars and a week of their time to attend. That would be absurd. So even though it's her birthday, I'm going to take everyone who she would like to have there into account because we're not narcissists.

Weddings are the same. It's a day of significance for the couple; however, as soon as you start inviting people you need to take them into consideration and not treat them like unpaid extras. That is, unless you're selfish and don't care to be more thoughtful.

A special day for someone or a couple should absolutely focus on them and their ideal wants/needs. Who goes out of their way to plan something everyone will enjoy especially when the rule is that you can't always please everyone. For anyone that isn't completely satisfied with the plan they can either suck it up and pretend to have a good time or not show up. What if someone she wants to have at her party is on vacation for a week or two? Do you move the party around because of one person's scheduling conflict? That is asinine.

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by Sliver

It's a day everyone shares. Like, if I'm going to throw a birthday party for my wife, for instance, I'm going to try to plan something everybody will enjoy. I won't come up with a unilateral plan that suits her in spite of the needs/wants/accommodations required for all the guests. I won't plan an event that will cost people thousands of dollars and a week of their time to attend. That would be absurd. So even though it's her birthday, I'm going to take everyone who she would like to have there into account because we're not narcissists.

Weddings are the same. It's a day of significance for the couple; however, as soon as you start inviting people you need to take them into consideration and not treat them like unpaid extras. That is, unless you're selfish and don't care to be more thoughtful.

Expecting someone’s special day to cater to others is Incredibly selfish IMO.

[btimbit]

Sliver I agree with like, 80% of what you've said in this thread, and generally love your flamboyance and know you aren't trolling. But I do think it's time for you to exit this one buddy

[indes]

We're talking to a few agents and are having a hard time finding anywhere decent for under 2400$/pp for a week.

Pretty disappointed with the costs so we'll be sending out some feelers in the next month or so to see how people feel about the destination wedding and then go from there. Looking for some kind of anonymous polling system so people can let us know how they really feel.

Like you a lot of our friends have been asking us if we're going to do a destination and are really into it. I feel like their tune will change once they know the cost but we'll see! We're still looking for early 2024.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by btimbit

Sliver I agree with like, 80% of what you've said in this thread, and generally love your flamboyance and know you aren't trolling. But I do think it's time for you to exit this one buddy

It was quality work, I'll give him that.

[calgarygeologist]

Originally Posted by indes

We're talking to a few agents and are having a hard time finding anywhere decent for under 2400$/pp for a week.

Pretty disappointed with the costs so we'll be sending out some feelers in the next month or so to see how people feel about the destination wedding and then go from there. Looking for some kind of anonymous polling system so people can let us know how they really feel.

Like you a lot of our friends have been asking us if we're going to do a destination and are really into it. I feel like their tune will change once they know the cost but we'll see! We're still looking for early 2024.

I don't know if this suggestion is something that you have thought about or how it would go over with your friends but what about a cruise? I looked into it pre-covid with MSC Cruises and they had some pretty good wedding packages and it seemed to be well organized and easy to plan. Other cruise lines probably have similar wedding services. Might be worthwhile considering that as an alternative to an A-I destination wedding.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Sliver

It's a day everyone shares. Like, if I'm going to throw a birthday party for my wife, for instance, I'm going to try to plan something everybody will enjoy. I won't come up with a unilateral plan that suits her in spite of the needs/wants/accommodations required for all the guests. I won't plan an event that will cost people thousands of dollars and a week of their time to attend. That would be absurd. So even though it's her birthday, I'm going to take everyone who she would like to have there into account because we're not narcissists.

Weddings are the same. It's a day of significance for the couple; however, as soon as you start inviting people you need to take them into consideration and not treat them like unpaid extras. That is, unless you're selfish and don't care to be more thoughtful.

Just an aside, I think birthday parties for adults is weird, maybe big ones like 50 or 65, but the rest, nah just ####ing odd.

I had a guy work for me that would take every birthday off and was offended when I told him that if he wanted to take his birthday off, he needed to use vacation time.

Yearly birthday parties up to 18 are col, then 50, 65. The rest, I mean come on.

[bizaro86]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

Just an aside, I think birthday parties for adults is weird, maybe big ones like 50 or 65, but the rest, nah just ####ing odd.

I had a guy work for me that would take every birthday off and was offended when I told him that if he wanted to take his birthday off, he needed to use vacation time.

Yearly birthday parties up to 18 are col, then 50, 65. The rest, I mean come on.

I think milestone birthdays after 65 are ok as well - eg we had a small party for my Grandma when she hit 90 that I think was in good taste.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by bizaro86

I think milestone birthdays after 65 are ok as well - eg we had a small party for my Grandma when she hit 90 that I think was in good taste.

Yeah I think we can agree that from 85 till grave it's cool to celebrate every birthday.

So to recap:

>1-18 yearly birthday celebrations.
>30, 40, 50, 65 celebrations are allowed (I've feeling generous and including 30, 40, 50 even though I don't agree).
>85-tits up yearly birthday celebrations

[8sPOT]

I'm all for destination stag/stagette parties too.

Went to one about 6 years ago in Arizona. Group of about 12 guys, rented an AirBNB house. Went to a Coyotes game in a suite for about $120USD each, and went to a Cardinals game (including the epic tailgate).

And went to another in Kelowna last year, both the guys and girls all rode in a party bus from Calgary to Kelowna. Then the guys went and did their thing while the ladies went and did theirs.

Both were awesome, and by far the most memorable bachelor parties I've been to.