The Truth Hurts, Baby

[FlamesAddiction]

If you're going through hell, keep moving. (Winston Churchill)

Optimism is the opium of the people. (Milan Kundera)

A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.

Use soft words, but hard arguments.

If everything seems to be going well, you are probably overlooking something.

The best teacher is experience and not someone else's distorted point of view. (Jack Kerouac)

[Kybosh]

Watch out for your corn hole, bud.

[PostandIn]

Take your profession seriously; Yourself not so much (Clint Eastwood, I think)

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by jayocal

With booze, you lose. With dope, there's hope.

Rather: Dope then booze you can't lose; booze then dope you have no hope.

Also: Liquor then beer have no fear; beer then liquor never been sicker.

[DuffMan]

If you can't kick a man when he is down, you'll never have the balls to kick him when he's standing up.

[CliffFletcher]

You can't reason someone out of an opinion he didn't reason himself into.

[Muffins]

Fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me....you can't get fooled again.

[TheyCallMeBruce]

There's something strange, in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call?

[8sPOT]

Hoots before beer you're in the clear, beer before hoots you'll puke on your boots.

Beggars can't be choosers.

Try not to say 'always' or 'never' (especially to your spouse!).

Life goes on.

[Strange Brew]

No matter how tough you are, life is going to knock you down at some point.

[troutman]

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

more Deep Thoughts:
https://thanh3.wordpress.com/2008/06...y-jack-handey/

[northcrunk]

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

[OMG!WTF!]

In the spirit of "life's lessons learned the hard way"....

-Before you invest in anything, first and foremost know when you will have been proven wrong.

-Honesty is the best policy for suckers.

Luckily there are better ones in the public domain...

-You gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight.

-Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow.

Something I don't get but seems profound...

-After some time in the fine art business I recently noticed the buyers I've gotten to know well and who have spent the most money with us have all suffered recent, sudden losses in their lives...husbands losing wives, parents losing kids, families losing close friends. The correlation to love and loss and beauty is quite apparent. It's more than retail therapy, more than decoration for these people. They could buy whatever they want but wound up here, looking for more than a nice car, a boat, a helicopter. They don't want an experience in life, travel, lessons, or education. They need something beyond a thing that's owned or a time that is had. I suspect they are looking for a way to preserve their own life and recreate the lives of those they have lost. But that's not something I care to try and mangle into a loaded aphorism. I'm sure it's been said before and in much better ways than I could. I just keep the lights on around here and dust the frames once and a while.

[woob]

No disassemble!

[Weitz]

"Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, dump her."

"Just like that?"

"Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."

[Nufy]

Don't drop the soap...

[NuclearFart]

Time heals all wounds.

Time wounds all heels.

[CaptainCrunch]

If you keep touching that thing, you'll go blind.

[northcrunk]

Facts don't care about your feelings.

[BloodFetish]

A wise man once said nothing.