Men need to meet up with friends twice a week to stay healthy

[polak]

Originally Posted by GGG

I see this statement as the whiny single guy being lonely. Essentially you are saying My Friend is in a great relationship and chooses to spend time with his wife and/or kids instead of me because he WANTS to. Just because his priorities have changed isn't a negative. And maybe he just blames his wife so he doesn't have to tell you he would rather stay at home then go out.

If dropping your friends is the only solution then you're a bad friend any ways... I mean wanting to hangout with your gf or wife or family is all well and good but if you're no longer going to hangout with your friends at all because of it then don't be shocked when they tell you to go #### yourself if you come to them when you finally need a break from your family or need a friendly favor.

[troutman]

Boy Dance Party!

[GGG]

Originally Posted by polak

If dropping your friends is the only solution then you're a bad friend any ways... I mean wanting to hangout with your gf or wife or family is all well and good but if you're no longer going to hangout with your friends at all because of it then don't be shocked when they tell you to go #### yourself if you come to them when you finally need a break from your family or need a friendly favor.

Agreed, but the whole grow a pair and go out with boys mentality is just crap. People tend to do what they want to.

[polak]

Bros before Hoes.

[EverfresH15]

Originally Posted by Muta

Tell her not to come back until tomorrow.

Oh man that comment made my day. Just giggling my of ass of over here.

[PsYcNeT]

Originally Posted by polak

Bros before Hoes.

Best friend before lesser friends.

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Originally Posted by hulkrogan

Screw that, if she's at the mall buying a coat and some boots and some cotton balls and wooden dowling, I don't expect a call asking me if it's alright to get the brown ones even though they cost $50 more.

She also trusts me to not buy a laptop unless I know we can afford it, and it's actually something I at least sort of need.

If I have to make that call, one of two things has happened:

1) I'm one of those dinks that spends all our money selfishly and leaves us in a rough financial spot where she maybe can't buy the things she wants/needs

2) I've married one of those girls

I bought a car one day without talking to her. She knew I was looking to sell my old one and didn't really care what I got, and trusted us to not put us in financial ruin. In fact, she was pleasantly surprised when she found out it cost $1000 less than the one I sold.

I personally far prefer this model of working things to "having to have a talk" about every frigging purchase. Just don't be jerks to each other and it all works out, with your time, and with your money.

I think you know exactly why I thanked this, and that it has absolutely nothing to do with the marital advice.

[Cuz]

You can tell which guys are married and not in this thread and any guy who says that another should grow a pair is obviously in the later category

I think in any successful marriage, there has to be give and take. Now this does not necessarily have to be a 50/50 split as some personalities are more giving than others, but as long as a couple reaches a balance that both are happy with it is ok. In my marriage, I probably compromise more than my wife, but I am fine with that (happy wife, happy life) and it is not like she doesn't do things that are entirely for me.

As for spending time with the buddies, I don't have any in the city so this isn't an issue. I am more of the introverted, homebody loner type anyways so it doesn't bother me. Frankly, I would rather spend my time with my wife and can do most of the stuff I would with a guy anyways (she's a sporty kinda girl) which is why I married her. If my wife wants to go out with her friends, I have absolutely no problem if she wants to.

When it comes to spending money, my wife and I have the $100 rule. That is, if an item is more than $100, we have to get the other's permission, excluding gifts. Honestly, I cannot recall a time when the other has actually said no, it is just a good way to communicate with each other.

[Cuz]

Originally Posted by polak

Bros before Hoes.

Really, this never should apply to a woman you love...

[Dion]

Originally Posted by _Q_

I have a girl that does that. One of the main reasons why I broke up with my last girlfriend was because she wasn't willing to let me see my friends as much as I wanted.

This might hurt some of you, but some of you need to grow a pair and take control of your lives.

Your last sentence should read, find a woman who values her independance and time spent with friends. Worst mistake a person can make is marrying a "cling on" who has to be with you all the time.

[ricosuave]

I believe it.

[Clarkey]

Originally Posted by hulkrogan

Screw that, if she's at the mall buying a coat and some boots and some cotton balls and wooden dowling, I don't expect a call asking me if it's alright to get the brown ones even though they cost $50 more.

Kinky girlfriend you got there bud!

[polak]

Originally Posted by Cuz

Really, this never should apply to a woman you love...

Yes I know. Just felt that phrase needed to be dropped in this thread.

[rubecube]

Hi, I'm CP's Resident Commitment-Phobe. You might remember me from such threads as "Why do anniversaries matter?" and posts such as "Screw Sunday dinner with her parents, the football game is on."

Anyways, I fully endorse this study. I also endorse 12-hour football Sundays, and Wednesday night's solo drinkathon. Stay manly!

[Jason14h]

Hi, I'm CP's Resident Commitment-Phobe. You might remember me from such threads as "Why do anniversaries matter?" and posts such as "Screw Sunday dinner with her parents, the football game is on."

Anyways, I fully endorse this study. I also endorse 12-hour football Sundays, and Wednesday night's solo drinkathon. Stay manly!

There's other people there on Wed! Pheft

[Russic]

With every decision my wife and I make, we always just think "would this piss me off if it came back the other way?". Going out with the guys once or twice a week? I wouldn't have a problem if my wife left me saddled with the ankle-biters for a couple nights. 3 times a week? I know I would be mildly annoyed, so why would I do it to her? Of course this necessitates marrying somebody that has the same general views on personal time that you do.

We have conversations about spending money on items over $100 not because we love to veto each others fun, but because it just makes good financial sense to be on the same page with where the money is going.

[GreenLantern]

The money advice is another good one... have to keep that in mind, we are just treading into the joint bank account territory and she is horrible for nickle and dime purchases... 25 here, 45 here, 67 here.. while I am just terrible at spending all my money on booze.

[fundmark19]

Originally Posted by Jason14h

There's other people there on Wed! Pheft

Wednesday Friendsday. Unfortunately none of my friends ever show up. I like to think my kegerator is my friend

[calgaryred]

In my relationship we see our friends as much as we want, I think once we have kids we maybe more home bodies, but in our relationship theres never been a problem with an attitude if I want to hang with my buds.

[SeeGeeWhy]

I like how the doctor had to include "things like drinking beer" but threw in "but also try events like team sports!" to try and make himself look legitimate. The study is obviously BS, but you can't tell me that, as social creatures, it is a bad idea for men to go and interact like men every once and a while.

It's important to keep our social skills and emotional IQ sharp, need to practice the ability of building community, male bonds, respect, honour - to have a tribe and also have a place in that tribe.

Not being able to have and maintain friendships in an unbecoming and dangerous trait whether make or female, married or single. We rely on other people when times get yards, and not having those bonds in your life leave you in a risky position. It also feels good to be able to provide for your own friends when they need it.

It would be interesting to see a real study on this. How partaking in the practice would effect brain health, social IQ, testosterone levels, overall health and relationship qualities in other aspects of a man's life.

As for this marriage debate... I think it wise to take care of yourself, so you can take care of your partner and your family. Marriage is a give and take, not a 50/50 - you start keeping score and that's when resentment starts, and that's what kills relationships. Spend time with your friends when you need to, but budget the rest of your time like a responsible and loving man. Don't be a workaholic, don't neglect family time, don't neglect time with your partner, don't neglect self improvement, don't neglect your community, don't forget to surprise the people in your life sometimes - be generous and thoughtful, and equitable to all of those important to you. You lose what you don't tend to properly.