Funniest quotes from kids!

[Diemenz]

My almost 4 year old daughter showed a true sign of the times.

While face timing with my mom her gramma, she picks up a toy and says:

"Gramma this is doc mcstuffins, her friends are hallie and lambie and she takes care of them, if you like doc mcstuffins leave a comment below and tell me what you thought of my video"

God damn youtube.

[Redliner]

When my nephew was younger he had a habit (as most kids do) of waiting until the last possible second before telling his parents he needed to go to the bathroom, which meant that his success rate of actually getting to a toilet in time hovered around 50%. One day my sister in law was shopping in the Bay with him and she noticed he was starting to do the potty dance so she asked if he needed to go to the bathroom. Of course, he said no. The wiggling intensified, she asked again, he said no again. This went on for about ten minutes until they were in line at the checkout and the kid is still squirming around with this weird look on his face. She looked him in the eye and said "are you SURE you don't have to go to the bathroom?" The kid looks right back at her and says in a super calm voice - "Yeah, I have to poop pretty bad. But don't worry, I have my finger plugging my butt."

[Rathji]

2 from my kids, when they were younger:

My daughter being carried to the van during a snow storm says, "Sometimes I walk to the van, sometimes not so much."

My son, while in the basement playing with a bunch of kids, "Let's play school, and we can use this as the bathroom," and I walk do the stairs to see this sight...

[red sky]

My 4 year old son with his words of wisdom.

"Boys have penises, girls have holes"

[stang]

[ASP#26525]

I'm not a parent myself, but I have two nephews. When the youngest was around six, my brother took the family skiing to Whistler. When they got on the gondola, it was very clear that the dudes ahead of them had just smoked a joint, and my nephew says, "Smells like daddy's beard sometimes!"

[Coach]

Don't have kids but my old boss's son was pretty hilarious and quick witted.

He and his 10 year old boy are walking through his school after parent teacher interviews and a staff member walks by and gives them a smile and a "Hi boys name!"

The kid leans into his dad and goes, "That's the principal. I got him wrapped around my finger."