You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Now with 3x more gears...

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I think we just need to train flight attendants to be more like drill instructors.

"HURRY THE #### UP! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? MOVE MOVE MOVE."

If an airline followed overhead bin space restrictions extremely fiercely they would be the most popular airline in the world. To the point that if you somehow weasel your #### onto the plane and it’s one of those big dumb suitcases that should obviously be underneath / checked, flight attendants are highly encouraged- nay- financially incentivized- to toss that #### onto the runway. You lose your bag, we are leaving, say bye to your bag.

[Matata]

Increased airport security over the last few decades has resulted in a grand total of 0 terrorist attacks thwarted and 0 lives saved. So it'll probably be fine.

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

LOL. Have you met people? They'd clog up the exit bridge waiting.

Easy - One of the cabin crew ensures this doesn't happen by standing at the bottom of the bridge, brandishing a stun gun. Another does the same but at the back of the plane in case someone isn't getting off quickly enough.

Exiting a row at a time doesn't really take any extra time if you aren't hauling bags out of the overhead.

I have less faith in people on planes than you do, apparently.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by calgarygeologist

The ####ty part about Canadian airport security is all the nonsense BS they make you do which just slows down the whole process. Laptops and large electronics out, liquids out, shoes off, belt off, etc. The US is much more streamlined and easy as you just put your bag in the bin and walk through the scanner.

Last time I was in the US I had to take my computer out and take off my belt and shoes also. Honestly, that's part of the theatre that I find most irritating.

[TorqueDog]

Originally Posted by CorsiHockeyLeague

Easy - One of the cabin crew ensures this doesn't happen by standing at the bottom of the bridge, brandishing a stun gun. Another does the same but at the back of the plane in case someone isn't getting off quickly enough.

Replace 'stun gun' with 'electric cattle prod' and we're on the same page. A stun gun is a hollow threat since actually using it would immediately slow everything down as the person collapses in the aisle / on the ramp. A cattle prod just motivates them to not to dawdle.

Originally Posted by Slava

Last time I was in the US I had to take my computer out and take off my belt and shoes also. Honestly, that's part of the theatre that I find most irritating.

There's a way around having to do this, but I've been sworn to secrecy lest every occasional traveler start doing it and mucking up the whole system.

[Lubicon]

Originally Posted by calgarygeologist

The ####ty part about Canadian airport security is all the nonsense BS they make you do which just slows down the whole process. Laptops and large electronics out, liquids out, shoes off, belt off, etc. The US is much more streamlined and easy as you just put your bag in the bin and walk through the scanner.

Originally Posted by Slava

Last time I was in the US I had to take my computer out and take off my belt and shoes also. Honestly, that's part of the theatre that I find most irritating.

Shoes off IS required for US Preclearance security. It is NOT required for Canadian security. Yet I see some people with shoes off, others keep them on, l some security people say shoes off (hello Regina, I'm talking to you), others don't. Maybe let's just all get on the same page with which rules are actually supposed to be applied.

[habernac]

I never take my belt off. It never sets off the metal detector and my shirt covers it.

[Wormius]

The only effective way to disembark is to open the tail section up and tilt the whole plane like a dump truck, give it a couple of shakes to get any clingy passengers out. It would become the best part of taking a flight.

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by habernac

The best is when I take a cab from the airport and the poor guy discovers, after waiting for two hours to get a fare, that I live right across Deerfoot 6 minutes from the airport.

If I had one checked and a carryon bag, I’d walk.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

Airport pickups are seriously easy now with fligh tracking apps like Flightaware and Flightradar24. Just watch the flight in real time and plan accordingly.

Who remembers the days of the one cable TV channel that showed arrivals for YYC?

I remember my first trip to Cuba and they had those number-boards.

Originally Posted by Sliver

You, yes. Everyone else, no.

I have a mid-sized bear...do you have adjustable seatbelts to accommodate for him?

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by Locke

I remember my first trip to Cuba and they had those number-boards.

Those flipping flight boards ruled. They should come back. Always loved watching the one in Frankfurt, damn near the whole world on display on the departure and arrival boards.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

Those flipping flight boards ruled. They should come back. Always loved watching the one in Frankfurt, damn near the whole world on display on the departure and arrival boards.

Its like listening to Dominos falling or a waterfall.

Its oddly soothing and cathartic.

"Dont worry...the tiles never lie! Unlike that digital bitch!"

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Originally Posted by Lubicon

Shoes off IS required for US Preclearance security. It is NOT required for Canadian security. Yet I see some people with shoes off, others keep them on, l some security people say shoes off (hello Regina, I'm talking to you), others don't. Maybe let's just all get on the same page with which rules are actually supposed to be applied.

It actually depends if your shoes have metal in them.

[Mr.Coffee]

All you need to know is that if the arriving flight is Westjet, you can comfortably add +30 mins and that should be about the actual arrival time. Then maybe another 30 mins for their struggling staff to connect the damn plane to the gate and open the door, which is just mindboggling to me.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Locke

I have a mid-sized bear...do you have adjustable seatbelts to accommodate for him?

Suspicions confirmed.

[Sliver]

This was about 20 years ago, but I was in the Saskatoon airport with my iPod. The ####ing security monkey made me turn it on and he put my earbud in his ear to make sure it wasn't a bomb. I couldn't ####ing believe it.

[JD]

And yet with train travel in other countries, we show our ticket, board the train with our bags, place them where there's space, find your seat. Why are trains different than planes? They've had terrorists too. Yet such a better experience.

[calgarygeologist]

Originally Posted by Slava

Last time I was in the US I had to take my computer out and take off my belt and shoes also. Honestly, that's part of the theatre that I find most irritating.

Maybe airport specific or related to security screening access. In the US we use TSA PreCheck lanes or sometimes the special Amex Platinum priority lanes and they never have any special requirements or requests. Are you using regular security lanes?

Originally Posted by Lubicon

Shoes off IS required for US Preclearance security. It is NOT required for Canadian security. Yet I see some people with shoes off, others keep them on, l some security people say shoes off (hello Regina, I'm talking to you), others don't. Maybe let's just all get on the same page with which rules are actually supposed to be applied.

At YYC security always seems to ask for shoes off except for the kids.

[Fighting Banana Slug]

Originally Posted by Sliver

This was about 20 years ago, but I was in the Saskatoon airport with my iPod. The ####ing security monkey made me turn it on and he put my earbud in his ear to make sure it wasn't a bomb. I couldn't ####ing believe it.

Saskatoon has an airport? For jets, or were you a crop duster at the time?

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by JD

And yet with train travel in other countries, we show our ticket, board the train with our bags, place them where there's space, find your seat. Why are trains different than planes? They've had terrorists too. Yet such a better experience.

Because a train has limited things it can crash into.