Trespassers in my yard.... what to do?

[HPLovecraft]

How are broken bottles illegal? No one will suspect he even knows drunks are pasing through his yard (climbing over the fence, even) in the wee hours of the morning. All he has to say is there must have been some glass in the rocks he didn't know about (maybe these same drunks broke their beer bottles falling over the damn fence?).

I say go for it. I don't care if they're nice drunks, they're climbing over the FENCE to get through the yard. That's going the extra mile. They might not even be nice drunk types if they're going that far.

You gotta give em a shock. Get the bright lights, get a tape cassette, turn it up loud with crazy dog barking noises, and just lay in wait to turn it on soon as they start climbing. Spot light em, too.

[Reaper]

I'm a fan of laying in wait for them. When they jump the fence yell loudly enough to be heard by your neighbors "What are you doing? No, stay back!" and charge them with a Louisville Slugger. Don't bash their heads in, just break their feet with the bat. I's hard to fight back when you're hopping around on one foot.

[Dion]

[Titan]

Also, on foxes note I am eagerly awaiting some killjoy lawyer coming in here and warning all of the posters that setting a trap WILL lead to legal troubles with the local constabulary and will likely result in your making the acquaintance of some very nice plaintiff's counsel.

Ain't gonna be me though!!

[HPLovecraft]

Originally Posted by Titan

Also, on foxes note I am eagerly awaiting some killjoy lawyer coming in here and warning all of the posters that setting a trap WILL lead to legal troubles with the local constabulary and will likely result in your making the acquaintance of some very nice plaintiff's counsel.

Ain't gonna be me though!!

He'll have a hard time coming in his lawn to get him, though...

[Berger_4_]

Get an electric fencer. If you've got a chain link fence, just hook it right up to that...maybe tell the neighbours though. If you've got a wood fence, either get some wire or some actual electric fence wire stuff (it's plastic with the metal woven into it) and set that up. It won't kill anyone, but it'll give them a damn good shock.

[Nage Waza]

If I caught someone on my property I would break their legs. Honestly. They have no right on your property and you have a right to defend your property. I would give them a chance to leave first.
The best thing would be to follow them home so you can see where they live. If they say anything, just yell out their address.
Grab a nice can of purple spray paint, and when you hear them next you tell them to stay out of your yard (you can yell through a window). If they confront you, spray them. You could use a hose if you really want...

[TheyCallMeBruce]

My suggestion is to make your house appear to be haunted. Use high tech equipment like loud speakers or projectors. Project a ghost and moan loudly. They'll go away, trust me.

[alltherage]

Originally Posted by flames85

thanks but.....any real suggestions? keeping in mind i Rent.

Why not post a sign that says "this property is under video surveilance: No Trespassing!"

[RougeUnderoos]

Download the sound of a big dog barking, put the speakers by the window and just scare the hell out of them as they walk by. I've actually done this with cats and it worked. I don't know about people, but it would work on me.

The tripwire would be a riot but it (and everything else) would no doubt trigger revenge.

[DOK]

I'd leave big trash bins right where they jump over, and a couple bags of empty cans for effect. They'll jump into it and get right messy. It's easy enough to pile crap up behind the fence until they find a new route.

[Byrns]

Barbed wire?

[GrrlGoalie33]

How about sticky mouse traps on top of the fence???

[John Doe]

If you want to stay up late, I would suggest you hook up a hose to your outdoor taps and spray anyone who jumps over your fence. I doubt that you would get into any legal trouble doing this. If you don't want to stay up late, just water your lawn every night.

[I_am_Beast]

Motion dect spotlights, if that doesn't scare them, by the other side of yard motion dect sprinkers...give them a bright lighted shower....

even better call the cops 10 mins before they normally show up and report 2 prowlers casing the properties around your house...

[burn_this_city]

Smear poo on the top of the fence or where they drunkenly land.

[Tron_fdc]

Since when does fotze know anything about yards and fences? Last time I was at his house the closest thing to a yard was the painted rock pile in front of his trailer.

What you SHOULD do is take a big shinguard on the top of your fence, and let them climb around in it. Who cares if they're drunk, it'll make it harder for them to figure out why their hands smell like crap. Better yet, get your girlfriend to smear a mud shark on there. Girl poo REEKS.

[ken0042]

On top of the motion sensor light, I would go with the motion sensor sprinkler:
http://www.leevalley.com/garden/page...280,33159&ap=1

[Montana Moe]

Hmm, apparently mudshark means something different in other parts of the continent.

[The Fonz]

Put a DO NOT TRESPASS sign on the fence, and a dead animal(s) in your yard...maybe even a few shotgun shells.

That'd be enough to convince me to find a new shortcut.