05-12-2009, 11:51 AM
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#41
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary, Alberta
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Quote:
(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom
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This may get censored, but I found this really funny.
Haha...this one is even better.
Quote:
(870): I don't get it.
(501): Me neither.
(501): But I masturbated to it anyway.
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Last edited by simmer2; 05-12-2009 at 11:54 AM.
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05-12-2009, 12:00 PM
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#42
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Self-Ban
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LOLOL omg my staff are looking at me like i'm crazy...this is the best site ever!
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05-12-2009, 01:01 PM
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#43
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Powerplay Quarterback
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Hopefully this was sent to a Canucks fan.
Quote:
(847): tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
(847): That's how twitter works, right?
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05-12-2009, 03:29 PM
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#44
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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Crowsnest Pass
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05-12-2009, 04:16 PM
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#45
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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Crowsnest Pass
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You may also enjoy, the cheapest person I know:
http://www.walletpop.com/specials/ch...dition?photo=1
AOL User Coloradomike26 Says:
"My uncle was so cheap [that] before [he went] to bed he removed the battery of his watch and put it back in the morning to save the life of the battery."
AOL User Na###o504 Says:
"I know someone who would go to the cemetery, get the flowers off the graves and make a bouquet of flowers for his wife at different occasions. This went on for a couple of years until she found out."
AOL User Sedunning Says:
"My friend went shopping with her mother-in-law who is well-off enough to live in a huge house in a gated community. They found a good parking place downtown and put in enough coins for 2 hours. They finished the errands sooner than expected, and the mother-in-law stood by the car trying to 'sell' the unused time on the meter to other drivers who were pulling up."
Last edited by troutman; 05-12-2009 at 04:25 PM.
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05-12-2009, 11:25 PM
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#46
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My face is a bum!
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(901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
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The Following User Says Thank You to Bill Bumface For This Useful Post:
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05-12-2009, 11:57 PM
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#47
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hulkrogan
(901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
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I totally need to meet this woman
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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05-13-2009, 01:10 AM
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#48
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One of the Nine
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(925): i think i just met the girl of my dreams. someone made a serious statement about rape and she said "pish posh, i love surprise sex"
(405): Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
(561): You drink too much
(1-561): No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
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05-13-2009, 04:35 AM
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#49
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Has lived the dream!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Where I lay my head is home...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4X4
(925): i think i just met the girl of my dreams. someone made a serious statement about rape and she said "pish posh, i love surprise sex"
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Haha, I dated a girl like that once.
I might have to start using that, 'I don't get it, but I masturbated to it anyway,' line in my speech. That's gold.
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05-13-2009, 07:59 AM
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#50
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
I totally need to meet this woman
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How can you be so sure it's a woman?
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05-13-2009, 09:26 AM
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#51
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Not the one...
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(281): ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my butt with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
(214): Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
__________________
There's always two sides to an argument, and it's always a tie.
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The Following User Says Thank You to Gozer For This Useful Post:
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05-13-2009, 12:14 PM
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#52
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Franchise Player
Join Date: May 2006
Location: @HOOT250
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(949): Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by henriksedin33
Not at all, as I've said, I would rather start with LA over any of the other WC playoff teams. Bunch of underachievers who look good on paper but don't even deserve to be in the playoffs.
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05-13-2009, 12:18 PM
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#53
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Director of the HFBI
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Calgary
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(360): i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
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(416): Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
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(732): ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
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(240): A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
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(408): carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
(415): be there in 3 mins
__________________
"Opinions are like demo tapes, and I don't want to hear yours" -- Stephen Colbert
Last edited by arsenal; 05-13-2009 at 12:19 PM.
Reason: seperators
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05-13-2009, 12:29 PM
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#54
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: On Jessica Albas chest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gozer
(281): ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my butt with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
(214): Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
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So which hand did he text with????
Gross......
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The Following User Says Thank You to Poison For This Useful Post:
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05-13-2009, 12:37 PM
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#55
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Lifetime Suspension
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The more of these I read, the faker they are seeming.
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05-13-2009, 12:39 PM
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#56
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary
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I dont think they are real.
No spelling or grammar mistakes. And some letters are capitalized. What anal retentive Nazzis bother to capitalize texts like these to friends.
__________________
MYK - Supports Arizona to democtratically pass laws for the state of Arizona
Rudy was the only hope in 08
2011 Election: Cons 40% - Nanos 38% Ekos 34%
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05-13-2009, 12:44 PM
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#57
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Americas hat
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DESS
The more of these I read, the faker they are seeming.
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you thought they were all real?
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05-13-2009, 12:58 PM
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#58
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First Line Centre
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mykalberta
I dont think they are real.
No spelling or grammar mistakes. And some letters are capitalized. What anal retentive Nazzis bother to capitalize texts like these to friends.
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I'm not saying they're all real but my phone will auto capitalize the first letter of my text and the first letter of the next word after a period, question mark, etc.
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05-13-2009, 01:11 PM
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#59
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In my office, at the Ministry of Awesome!
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Ahh, aren't these posted by people who got them?
Maybe they've gone ahead and added proper capitilization as a matter of habbit while typing.
Is it really the capitilization that is making people doubt the authenticity of some of these, and not their total absurdity?
__________________
THE SHANTZ WILL RISE AGAIN.
 <-----Check the Badge bitches. You want some Awesome, you come to me!
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05-13-2009, 01:43 PM
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#60
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mykalberta
I dont think they are real.
No spelling or grammar mistakes. And some letters are capitalized. What anal retentive Nazzis bother to capitalize texts like these to friends.
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I also use proper punctuation and double-space between periods and the beginning of a sentence (even thought it's old-school).
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The Following User Says Thank You to rubecube For This Useful Post:
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