How To Repel Mormons?

[Jetsfan]

A couple of years ago two of them came to my door. I told them that the Muslim religion offers 67 virgins. I asked them if their religion will offer me 68...they left and never returned.

[SebC]

Originally Posted by Jetsfan

A couple of years ago two of them came to my door. I told them that the Muslim religion offers 67 virgins. I asked them if their religion will offer me 68...they left and never returned.

Isn't it 72?

[moncton golden flames]

Hang a flask around your neck. When I was in Salt Lake City for the Olympics, Mormons approached us and when they found out we got there thru a Labatt Blue contest, they quickly scattered.

[Kybosh]

Keep a Mr. Sub sandwich at the door. Those sandwiches make good people do bad things I tells ya.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by krazycanuck

If they ring your doorbell and tell you to go f*** yourself, then by all means tell them it back. They honestly believe what they are trying to tell you, they're not doing it to try and piss off as many people as possible. They're doing it, because they in their own wacky little way think they can help your life.

They can honestly believe whatever they like, as long as they don't try to push it on me. Like Dion said, if I'm interested I can go to their church and check it out, and the only reason they send around these missionaries is to take advantage of vulnerable people - the sick, the lonely, the depressed - who are receptive to their loony cultish ideas. Their sincerity is a moot point, their ends still do not justify the means.

[Antithesis]

I understand a lot of what is posted in here is in jest (also a lot of chest-thumping bravado ... "They have to do good works, so I had them clean out my basement, aren't I the alpha male?") but to those who are seriously offended by it ... why are you getting worked up over something that could only take up ... what, 15-20 seconds of your life every month at most?

Here's what you do:

1. Get up off your couch and walk to your front door (pause TV show on PVR if applicable - what an invention).
2. Open door.
3. See young men in white shirts and ties.
4. Say "I'm not interested".
5. Close the door and walk back to the couch.

Step 4 is itself optional; often times when it's salesmen or whichever I just open the door, see who's there, turn around and shut it, then I don't stress over it or trying to come up with some awesome story ... "They have to do good works ... so I had them repaint my garage ... oh, no, someone else said that .... I had them ... use a handmower to mow my 3 acre property ... no no ..."

Seriously ... it makes you this mad? Come on.

[koop]

Originally Posted by jammies

and the only reason they send around these missionaries is to take advantage of vulnerable people - the sick, the lonely, the depressed - who are receptive to their loony cultish ideas..

Come on, I don't like them coming to my door and bothering me, but I don't think they go door to door to "take advantage of vulnerable people" unless I'm missing something. Their ideas may be loony, but I've never got the impression that they are trying to take advantage of people. What do they really have to gain anyways?

As for how to deal with them, just politely say no thanks. If they are pushy it would be a different story, but when it comes to tele-marketers, mormons, whatever, 99% of them will leave you alone if you just politely say "no thanks". I don't enjoy ruining someone's day because they wasted 1 minute of mine.

[Buff]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

I understand a lot of what is posted in here is in jest (also a lot of chest-thumping bravado ... "They have to do good works, so I had them clean out my basement, aren't I the alpha male?") but to those who are seriously offended by it ... why are you getting worked up over something that could only take up ... what, 15-20 seconds of your life every month at most?

Here's what you do:

1. Get up off your couch and walk to your front door (pause TV show on PVR if applicable - what an invention).
2. Open door.
3. See young men in white shirts and ties.
4. Say "I'm not interested".
5. Close the door and walk back to the couch.

Step 4 is itself optional; often times when it's salesmen or whichever I just open the door, see who's there, turn around and shut it, then I don't stress over it or trying to come up with some awesome story ... "They have to do good works ... so I had them repaint my garage ... oh, no, someone else said that .... I had them ... use a handmower to mow my 3 acre property ... no no ..."

Seriously ... it makes you this mad? Come on.

You could take this post and reword it to apply to just about anything in life. Excellent post.

People simply get too worked up about over sometimes the simplest little things. Myself included.

When I did my practicum it was at an office that had free public access computers, and every Monday the mormom missionaries came to email back home. Monday is their only day off (sorta Sunday too). I talked to a few of them and some were genuinely nice. Some weren't very friendly (maybe because it wasn't their day off and they didn't need to act a certain way, and some you could tell that they were still in their "I'm acting this way because I'm a missionary" mode.

Most of the people who would talk to me were usually from all over the USA. I asked if they felt ripped off that they got stuck in Southern Alberta while others got to go to much more desirable places. I usually got the standard answer that they were all equally as lucky to be spreading the word and meeting new people.

What really irked me was their living conditions. They get an allowance and it is barely enough money to live on. They don't spend money on material items because they absolutely need it for food. In fact they get such little money that they rely on members of the mormon church to invite them over to dinner quite a bit.

They're only allowed to use Mondays to email their families. They aren't allowed to use gmail, hotmail or any other type of email. They have to use webmail provided by the LDS church. I never got a chance to get too much information from them though as they always moved around from town/city in Southern Alberta by certain time frames. Some people got to move, some didn't, but the ones that I enjoyed talking to were never back the next week.

[onetwo_threefour]

Haha....

Apparently the 'good works' idea rattled a couple of cages. The way I see it, you're helping them fulfill their belief system by allowing them to earn brownie points for their metaphysical tote board.

As it is, I tend to do either the, 'no thanks, not interested' approach, or if I'm really bored have an earnest discussion with them about why skeptical agnosticism is the only rational belief system. I only wish that I knew about the 'good works' thing sooner, I didn't actually get to take advantage of it, friends of ours did.

In most cases, my two dogs barking their heads off when anybody knocks on the door makes canvassers/solicitors leave before I can get to the door anyway.

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by onetwo_threefour

Apparently the 'good works' idea rattled a couple of cages. The way I see it, you're helping them fulfill their belief system by allowing them to earn brownie points for their metaphysical tote board.

Ah yes, now that I think of it, I can think of nothing funnier than taking advantage of someone's kindness and their religious beliefs for your own gain. Quick, while I am in the midst of this epiphany, does anyone have any good "blind guy" jokes or funny stories about things that you wish you were awesome enough to have done to the homeless guy who bothered you to ask for a dollar (the jerk)?

Now before I look like some all-too-serious stick up the butt no-fun dorkstick, I'm only bringing this up because you did and I am enjoying the discussion. I just don't understand why people get so worked up about this and feel the need to puff themselves up by telling some fake story. By the way - I'm sure your friends did tell you the story - but it didn't happen.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

Tell them that John Smith translated the Pearl of Great price from what is basically only an Eqyptian funeral card and show them how the copy of the hieroglyphics in their book of mormon is totally fake and that they just made up the missing parts.

IE: the copy John had was torn and missing the head of the main character. The mormon artist drew in a human head while the real item (which exists in multiple copies commonly in Egypt and on mummies) has the head of Ra instead.

Who the hell is John Smith?

If you're going to bash somebody you ought to get their name right.

I was raised Mormon and while I certainly don't claim to be Mormon (or any denomination for that matter) I sympathize with them in certain ways. There is a LOT of misinformation out there about the LDS church.

As for the thread starter, you should've said you weren't interested to start with. The fact you gave them your name and number gives them absolutely zero reason to believe that you aren't interested. Whatever happens now is your fault...remember that when you decide to get nasty.

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Who the hell is John Smith?

He is the lead love interest in Pocahontas and also the founder of the LDS church, duh.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

He is the lead love interest in Pocohontas and also the founder of the LDS church, duh.

1/2 on that one anti...great post above by the way.

The Founder of the LDS church was Joseph Smith.

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

1/2 on that one anti...great post above by the way.

The Founder of the LDS church was Joseph Smith.

I should have used the green text.

Thanks for the kudos.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

I should have used the green text.

Thanks for the kudos.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. I knew you were being funny, but I thought maybe...ah I should've known.

[FlamesKickAss]

i gave a fake name but real number once, for some reason, they called me back and I told them he doesnt live here anymore and im not interested

[onetwo_threefour]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

Ah yes, now that I think of it, I can think of nothing funnier than taking advantage of someone's kindness and their religious beliefs for your own gain. Quick, while I am in the midst of this epiphany, does anyone have any good "blind guy" jokes or funny stories about things that you wish you were awesome enough to have done to the homeless guy who bothered you to ask for a dollar (the jerk)?

Now before I look like some all-too-serious stick up the butt no-fun dorkstick, I'm only bringing this up because you did and I am enjoying the discussion. I just don't understand why people get so worked up about this and feel the need to puff themselves up by telling some fake story. By the way - I'm sure your friends did tell you the story - but it didn't happen.

S'okay, I won't be offended, I can understand how the suggestion would 'rattle' a little. In general, I am a very liberal, open-minded, and tolerant person. Organized religion is my one little sore spot. Faith doesn't disturb me, but dogma does.

As for the story passed to me by my wife, I do believe it. Although I did not see it happen, the people I'm talking about are not beer-swillin' white trash folk. In fact I tended to doubt the story myself until I went over to their house and saw that they had managed to build about 150' of fence in two days (including digging post holes). They told is that the Mormons had seen them working on Friday afternoon, stopped and offered to help and came on Saturday and Sunday to finish, all for the price of some pizza and pop.

So I do believe the story, even if my delivery was a little sharp....

BTW, if you google mormon missionaries and good works, you will see that this is consistent with what their church expects of them. As such, my tongue in cheek comment about brownie points on a metaphysical tote board is only partially tongue in cheek. These folks really do see it as their calling to help. So why turn it down? And are you taking advantage of them, or are they taking advantage of you to further their own spiritual ends. These seem to be questions worth asking in my view. According to the sites I researched, missionaries are expected to provied a minumum of 15-20 per week of community service... (and they haven't even shoplifted anything!!)


By the way, I will never use green text... I hate having to explain jokes.

[Calgaryborn]

http://www.utlm.org/navtopicalindex.htm

[ricoFlame]

mormons are cool, i love talking with them about the seer stones, golden tablets, and all that other ridiculous crap with them. good times.

[Azure]

Originally Posted by onetwo_threefour

Haha....

Apparently the 'good works' idea rattled a couple of cages. The way I see it, you're helping them fulfill their belief system by allowing them to earn brownie points for their metaphysical tote board.

As it is, I tend to do either the, 'no thanks, not interested' approach, or if I'm really bored have an earnest discussion with them about why skeptical agnosticism is the only rational belief system. I only wish that I knew about the 'good works' thing sooner, I didn't actually get to take advantage of it, friends of ours did.

In most cases, my two dogs barking their heads off when anybody knocks on the door makes canvassers/solicitors leave before I can get to the door anyway.

Talking about the chest-thumping mentioned above.....here is a perfect example.

I wonder if you reply the same way to the girl scout members that come to your door and try to tell you cookies. Maybe the Red Cross when they do door-to-door campaigns during desperate times, or any other volunteer organization that is trying to raise money.

Learn some respect and just say you're not interested. Unless of course you LIKE ruining someones day by being a prick.