Most Embarrassing Beer League Moments - Page 3 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Traditional_Ale · 03-10-2008, 04:39 PM

Drunken football, just some buddies on a Sunday in August...

We're all like six or seven beers in and so the game has degenerated into mass trash talking. I'm playing QB looking for the tieing score to send it to OT.

Its 5 on 5, so we do have some running plays, but I'd say 80% passing. We do an absolutely PERFECT fake hand-off, QB roll-out the other way. All the defenders bit the fake hand off and there was no way anyone was going to make it back to cover the wide out on the other side of the field.

So I'm grinning ear to ear thinking ", we're gonna really do this!" and as I'm in the motion of throwing I lose all grip on the ball. I mean, before the arm even began to move forward. Its just dropped like a rock.

I of course panic, and kick the ball (with a nice bounce and everything) right into the chest of a player from the other team who yells his thanks as he runs it back the other way to win the game.

Its times like that I'm glad I never played ball in school.

Iowa_Flames_Fan · 03-10-2008, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FireFly

My dad was playing a pick up game of baseball at a company function way back when, had a few wobbly pops and went to bat... Hit a home run, but his shorts ended up around his ankles as he was rounding first... both funny and frightening as a child to witness.

Ha! I think we have a winner!

chid · 03-10-2008, 04:41 PM

I used to play at a high level of outdoor soccer when I was 17. I was playing keeper and the other team shot the ball and it hit the cross bar and went up into the air. I looked up but didn't see it (damn sun). The ball comes down and hits me right in the nose and goes in. Most embarrassing goal I have ever let in.

OILFAN #81 · 03-10-2008, 04:44 PM

This one was on my high school basketball team. We won city championships and were in provincials. It was the semifinals with us being up by 2 and the shot clock to game clock differential was about 9 seconds. It was in the middle of June and there was a beach theme for the fans. People were wearing shorts, bikini tops etc in the crowd. Anyways, i'm the SG and our PG passes me the ball to go for a shot to ice the game(go up by 4), right when i'm about to get it (i'm facing the crowd), this girl in a bikini top jumps up (accidentally lets her goods come out of her shirt as she jumps up) and yells "Go Trojans"......this was our team name. Anyways, I lost concentration for like half a second and the ball went out of bounds. They scored to tie it up on the inbounds......was really embarassing for her and I both for different reasons.
I laughed about it later because I got the ball back on the last play of the game to win it on a jump shot but that was pretty bad.

604flames · 03-10-2008, 04:47 PM

I play d on my beer league team,

We were up 3-0, the other team was coming down 2 on 1 against me. I slid to block the pass, the guy with the puck cranks one, goes off my head, straight up into the air, and in the net somehow (I didn't see how it landed). Funny thing is if it hadn't been deflected our goalie probably would have stopped it.. We still won though.

I've also skated to the wrong penalty box a few times, I just get confused for some reason.

Caged Great · 03-10-2008, 04:47 PM

I was playing slow pitch last year. Anyway, I'm not bad at catching the ball in the outfield, and one guy on the other team cranked one. So I'm running as hard as I can.... and my tear-aways start coming undone. I got tangled up, went flying and came down right in the trajectory of the ball which hits me in the ass..... It bounced, and stopped in between my arm and my side, and it counted as a catch/out. Thankfully I was wearing shorts.

disco_inferno · 03-10-2008, 04:54 PM

out of shear boredom, cheapness (real visor is beat to poo), and the fact that face protection is mandatory in my league, i cut down my old cage to just the top two squares, so its like a 'third' cage (rather than a halfer)...

first game, in a no-contact league, guy drops his shoulder (i pinched on a powerplay, and he was not happy i beat him to the puck), visor mashes my nose....bleeding all over...cripes.

kermitology · 03-10-2008, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Great thread. Lots of laughs.

In minor hockey I had the puck on my stick and I sneezed and fell down and they took it the other way. They didn't score but still, pretty bad.

It was right in front of the bench too and everyone on both teams heard me.

That's down right hysterical!

united · 03-10-2008, 04:58 PM

Roller hockey last year. Game one in the first round of the playoofs goes into a shootout, 3 shooters then sudden death. My team is shooting first. I am the third shooter with my team up 2-1, shot to win the game.
I skate to center, gather the puck. Right at the blue line the puck goes up on end and starts rolling on me and continues to do so as I try to calm it down. By the time I get to the top of the circle it bounces and ends up between my legs causing me to look directly down. Once I am at the hash marks I look up just in time to see the other team's goalie charging at me and doing the Hasek pad stack. I manage a desperation shot directly into his chest then hit him while he's doing the full pad stack causing me to superman over him and land face first on the rink.

They tied it up on the next shot but luckily we ended up winning.
Damn light roller hockey pucks.

chid · 03-10-2008, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caged Great

Thankfully I was wearing shorts.

Until you mentioned that I was imagining you laying in the grass bare ass up with the ball.

Lanny_MacDonald · 03-10-2008, 05:07 PM

Got a few really bad ones.

Softball: Went to nationals as a team's hired gun and got the team loaded after our first game (we were sponsored by Mike Hard Lemonade and it was all you could drink). We didn't lose any of the games we weren't supposed to, but the team didn't perform very well for the rest of that day. In retrospect, not very good leadership.

Modified-softball: Playing shortstop with runners on first and second with no one out in a tight game. Batter lays a bunt down the third base line, but we called a rotation play, so I cover third with a female runner coming from second. The third baseman took the bunt and zipped to me blocking the bag, but the runner came in spikes up. Caught me with her heel spikes right in the junk. Yes, I was wearing a cup, but I still had to leave the game for the inning. The really embarassing part was heading to the bar in my nice white baseball pants with the perfect imprint of this woman's size 7 shoe right in the daddy parts. Man, did I get ribbed over that.

Golf: Playing in a club match-play and hitting one to inside of three feet on a long par three. Much to my chagrin, and that of my partner, I had not teed up inside the markers. We lost the hole and took it pretty bad from the members for weeks.

Golf: Playing a 6-6-6 round with three other pros and being talked into pressing, on a par 3, when my playing partner and I were down in the middle 6. I didn't want to do it, as I was short on cash, but got talked into it anyways. My partner and I were inside of 12 feet, and inside the first of the other pair. The last guy gets up, and makes his first ever career hole-in-one, losing us both ends of the bet. The embarassing part was me calling three different people to come to the golf course and lend me money so I didn't have to welch on the bet.

Sylvanfan · 03-10-2008, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Great thread. Lots of laughs.

In minor hockey I had the puck on my stick and I sneezed and fell down and they took it the other way. They didn't score but still, pretty bad.

It was right in front of the bench too and everyone on both teams heard me.

Thats a good one. I remember a guy on my Rec Hockey team had a collision with another guy on the other team and he took the worst of it and made a B-Line for the bench right away. Everyone's like are you okay are you hurt.....He says no....But It made me blow snot out of my nose and all over my visor and I can't see a damn thing, than we realize there's a big snot blanket on his shield. That was good for a laugh.

Eastern Girl · 03-10-2008, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

It smoked her right on the nose. Blood everywhere. Her face went off like Old Faithful, just a geyser of blood all over the place.

I did the same thing playing soccer, except I kicked it out of bounds and nailed this old granny who was in the stands right in the face. She was down for the count and I broke her glasses. You'd have thought I had taken a wrench and beaten her to within an inch of her life with the looks and comments I was getting.

Another time in the Finals, I was in front of my net and this girl on the other team takes a shot. I tried to block it but it ended up hitting my ass and going into our net. We lost the game by one goal. Very devastating as we had been undefeated up to that point.

When I was on the swim team, I was competing in the backstroke. I was just getting to the overhead flags, the point when you start counting your strokes so you know when the flip, turn around and push off the wall. I got distracted, lost count and ended up slamming my head into the wall. I guess I was in shock so I stopped swimming and just kind of floated there for a second. I lost the race and my coach wouldn't let me swim in the other races, assuming I was concussed or something. So, my parents drove a few hours to watch me sit on the side of the pool, rubbing my head.

Cowboy89 · 03-10-2008, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gozer

Flag football:
I intercept a pass as the safety, and with the game almost over and it being a one-point game, I try to razzle-dazzle with a lateral to a teammate - that gets intercepted by the other team. They score, and not to increase their lead as I thought - they were losing and this won the game for them.

Didn't happen to me, but another guy had his Under Armour shorts ripped off while going commando.

Did happen to me, but I was wearing boxers that along with my shorts were also pulled down in one swoop by a keen flag-grabber (thankfully female). I think the embarassment was mostly felt by her as her team ribbed her even during the game for being over-eager when reaching for flags.

fredr123 · 03-10-2008, 05:35 PM

Not exactly beer league. You know how girls tend to develop earlier than guys? Imagine elementary school soccer. I probably weight a 1/3 then of what I do now. Giant Amazon-type girl and I are challenging for a loose ball. Friends, she was 180 pounds if she was an ounce and suffice to say she would be permitted entry to all the big kid rides without question.

I remember seeing her charging at the ball and I remember looking down to aim my kick. I don't remember her shoulder hitting my head and I sure don't remember how I ended up wrapped up in a blanket on the side lines answering some pretty obvious questions from a doctor. That was probably the last time I ever tried to get in the way of a determined woman.

troutman · 03-10-2008, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayP

The bat-catcher has to stand on home plate. There isn't a tag play at home instead a case of whether the bat-catcher catches the ball before the runner crosses the home plate line.

It's basically done to avoid unnecessary collisions.

Pete Rose never avoided collisions, even in all-star games.

Softball Guy does not avoid collisions either.

troutman · 03-10-2008, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

She is screaming and crying and bleeding....I just went straight to the bench. Everyone was totally shocked that I had just ended this chick.

that's the kind of killer instinct we want to see on the softball team

habernac · 03-10-2008, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by troutman

Pete Rose never avoided collisions, even in all-star games.

Softball Guy does not avoid collisions either.

Reminds me of a softball tournament. 7th inning, tie game. For the home plate, there was a green mat connected to it. The runner needed to touch the green mat, the plate was reserved for the catcher. I'm rounding 3rd at full speed and the female catcher is standing right on the green mat, not on the plate where she's supposed to be. The ball is coming in, she's getting ready to catch it. I'm yelling the whole way for her to move. I end up running right through her to score the winning run. We were very close to brawling, but the umpire stood up for me and cleared it up. didn't like the girl much anyway.

Resolute 14 · 03-10-2008, 05:57 PM

Nothing like you guys, but playing softball in high school, I hit a wicked foul ball that missed a teacher sitting in the bleachers by about six inches. Next pitch, I hit another foul ball the other way into the parking lot. Nailed a car... it was that same teacher's.

Thank god I wasn't any of her classes, or she probably would have failed me...

rubecube · 03-10-2008, 06:41 PM

I played D-line for my high school footabll team. The other team was punting the ball to us on a third down and I was ready for my routine "bat--crazy-kamikaze-blow-up" block that I loved dishing out on those. Basically I waited for our guy to catch the ball and then ran into a group of opposing players that were all bunched together and tried to knock as many of them down as possible.

During the return I flew into the huge group of would-be tacklers and came down in a heap with about three of them and got my return-man an extra ten yards or so. I felt pretty good until I saw them carrying on of the players I'd knocked over off the field, mainly because it was a girl.