Marriage Finances

[Buff]

Nope! Reread my post and note where I said that it doesn't matter where the money came from (in a marriage)...

just for that you'll have to buy me two gifts WITH YOUR MONEY!

[MoneyGuy]

One account or individual accounts? While the discussion has been interesting, this is a pretty unimportant topic compared to some of the things that newlyweds should be talking about. (BTW, my wife and I have been married for 27 years and have always had joint accounts. I like it that way.)

A much more important thing to be discussing is philosphies about money. I'll remind you that I'm a financial planner so I deal with this stuff every day. I've seen marriages torn apart by serious differences in financial priorities and philosophies, but I've never seen as marriage destroyed over this joint-or-individual-bank-account? argument.

One of the most destructive pitfalls is when one spouse is a dedicated saver/investor and the other is a big spender. Sit down with your spouse and discuss your priorities, goals and philosophies. If one of you is a big saver and the other is a big spender, trust me, you're in for trouble.

If you use a financial planner, have that mediate this if you can't agree. I suspect very few of you do, however, because my experience is that people on sites like this tend to be young and have little money. Or, you could have a friend or relative mediate this for you.

I'll repeat: this one thing can kill a marriage. If you have differences in this area, work it out or you won't be married long and you'll wonder why you ever worried about having separate bank accounts or not.

Good luck to all of you.

[Bertuzzied]

Separate accounts works fine, just make sure you don't lie to her about electronics. I told my wife that our 50' plasma was $2000 when it was actually $5500. When she found the receipt last year she flipped out! I had to buy her a stupid handbag for $1200 before she would talk to me again.

hmm i got bertuzzied since she watches the tv more than I do. hehe. Can anyone explain to me why a piece of crap plastic bag costs $1200??

[theJuice]

Good info guys, not married, and doubt I will be in the next little while, but definetely brings up some good thoughts.

[harmfuljays]

I've been with my wife for 10 years.....married for about 3. We have always had separate accounts that our pay gets deposited into. Every 6 months to 1 year or so we will sit down together and go over all expenses and what we each bring in. Its split up according to percentage........She pays for our child, I pay for the house.

Cars and Student Loans are up to the individual as well as any incurred credit card debt.

We keep a joint checking for paying the bills and a joint savings that we contribute to every month for Vacations or what not.

We have common short term financial goals such as debt free in 3 years...house paid off in 8. Mid-term goals.....Son through college....buying additional properties. In fact the only place where we differ is long term goals but that's a different thread....

Bottom line........I honestly don't think it matters much as long as you communicate properly

[HalifaxDrunk]

As said many times before, it’s a personal preference thing, different options work better for different couples. Here is what my wife and I use (we have been married 7 years). This may come across confusing, I hope not.

We have 3 joint accounts, one Visa and a line of Credit.

On my bank card I have “my” account and the “Bill” account. My wife has her account and the “Bill” account. This way we don’t watch each others personal “spending” money. Even though I am joint on her account I can’t monitor her account using online banking, and vise versa. The good part about being joint accounts is if there are any problems either one of us can talk to the bank to discuss issues (came in handy once while she was out of country).

We have a spreadsheet listing every recurring bill (Mortgage, RSP payment, Phone, Power, Parking Etc.), and any other outgoing money (gas/dog food Etc.) A formula calculates what we transfer each payday. She makes more money than me (I got a sugar momma) so the amount we transfer is different.

This is an example of how it would work:
$3,700 MONTHLY Total of all bills, groceries, outgoing money

Me
$1,500 bi-weekly pay
Transfer $1,200 to bills ($2,400 per month to bills)
This leaves me $300 for 2 weeks to spend as I like.

My Wife
$1,900 bi-weekly pay
Transfer $650 to bills ($1,300 per month to bills)
Transfer $250 to Visa (for groceries), and transfer $700 to the Line of Credit
This leaves her $300 for 2 weeks to spend as she likes.

This way we ensure that all bills are covered per month (1400+1400+650+650=$3,600), we have grocery money every 2 weeks, our own spending money and we decide together what to do with the “additional” money transferred to the Line of Credit.

The best thing is twice a year we get the “extra” pay as everything is calculated based on only 2 pays per month. Two times a year you get a BIG payday, you can alternate who gets it for a big purchase or just split it.

We have NEVER fought over money, just remember communication and trust are KEY!