Sex is bad

[GGG]

Originally Posted by Philly06Cup

I suspect everyone saying that slut shaming doesn't happen and sex is not taboo are male. Society still conditions women to repress their sexuality.

But the arguement presented in the OP is that it's getting worse since 80s:90s rather than better. Not that it just still exists. And I think on that front it's getting better

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Sex is bad mmmkay.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

I think there is a lot of puritanical type thinking out there, to verging degrees obviously.

I don't think moving to an age of complete sexual equality and sexual freedom is easy either. I think a lot of so called progressive movements, usually for women, actually do more harm than good. To me there is a fundamental hypocrisy in saying all women/men are beautiful, but don't you dare sexualize women's/men's bodies.

Changing attitudes towards sex, sexualization and exploitation are going to happen incrementally. All the while there will be opponents fighting any liberalization to any of the above because they believe the only righteous path is to stymie sexual freedom in the name of decency.

I'm not even sure if I'd want to live in a completely liberated society. Naked people everywhere, everyone having dozens of sexual partners, no allure or mystery to sex. It sounds like the swingers party from the movie A Good Old Fashioned Orgy. That wasn't fun. It was kinda gross.

[afc wimbledon]

As far as I can tell it's a golden age of mindless consequence free shagging, even in my fifties thanks to plenty of fish or the like.

[octothorp]

Originally Posted by GGG

But the arguement presented in the OP is that it's getting worse since 80s:90s rather than better. Not that it just still exists. And I think on that front it's getting better

I think you could argue that with the internet and social media, the impact of slut-shaming is far greater, as shaming incidents can reach more people and persist longer; at the same time, there's probably greater condemnation of the shamers themselves.

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by octothorp

I think you could argue that with the internet and social media, the impact of slut-shaming is far greater, as shaming incidents can reach more people and persist longer; at the same time, there's probably greater condemnation of the shamers themselves.

I think that while a lot of the shaming and hullabaloo blows up fast, it also blows over fast. Where I see a concern is that it rarely disappears. So while the incident will quickly disappear from the outraged public's mind when they find a new target to harass, years later the people involved could still feel ripples thanks to google.

I think that's your big change from the 80/90's to here. Someone gets into an embarrassing spot of trouble back then...it's gone and forgotten about and pretty much not searchable. Now? If your name is attached to something, you may never shake it.

[afc wimbledon]

My teenage kids could care less what history their girlfriends have now, they pretty much all have more random sex before they're 17 than my generation managed through to our thirties.
It's a measure of how little their generation cares that they see slut shaming as a negative that you call someone out over.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

It's a measure of how little their generation cares that they see slut shaming as a negative that you call someone out over.

Exactly. The very fact slut shaming is considered bad behaviour is a dramatic sea change in attitudes about sex.

[Fuzz]

New study:

Millennials are less likely to be having sex than young adults were 30 years ago, according to a survey of almost 27,000 people.
The research, conducted in the US, found that the percentage of young adults aged between 20 and 24 who reported having no sexual partner after the age of 18 increased from 6% among those born in the 1960s, to 15% of young adults born in the 1990s.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...ime=1470171485

[CaptainCrunch]

Too busy drinking their Yop and talking about bands that they discovered before they were famous?

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Originally Posted by calgaryblood

I believe a lot of it boils down to religion even here in North America. Even the non religious I believe are influenced by the culture that has been bred for hundreds of years where sex is bad.

Do you really think this is true, though? It doesn't seem right to me. My sense is that these sorts of religious values are in constant retreat, even among the nominally religious. They hold less and less sway all the time.

Clearly they're still present, but to the extent you're right that there is a sense of sexual repression, it seems to me that there must be some other social forces at play. Just doesn't make much sense to me that religiosity could decline in the way that it has and still form the basis for your observation.

[CliffFletcher]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

New study:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...ime=1470171485

Fewer millennials may be having sex, but that doesn't mean millennials are having less sex overall. Just like Japan, we're seeing more and more young adults dropping out of dating and mating altogether, spending their nights alone in front of a screen. It's not a moral decision, but an increasing discomfort with face-to-face socialization. On the other hand, those who are socially and sexually active can enjoy as much variety as they can handle. Certainly more than previous generations.

[Bandwagon In Flames]

In what way did OP think this was a worthy discussion topic? I mean with the million other things going on in this world, you think this non existent issue is worth discussing?

To answer the question, It's never been easier to have non-marital sex in this day and age. There are hundreds of websites and apps dedicated to pretty much anonymous sex. It's also not frowned upon from what I see. When these dating websites first started, you didn't hear much about them and people felt embarrassed to be resorting to the internet to find dates. Now all of my single friends are willfully talking about their past or current experiences on Tinder.

Sex before marriage used to be heavily frowned upon. Hell even living together before marriage was heavily frowned upon. What world are you living in cb?

[pacde]

Originally Posted by CorsiHockeyLeague

Do you really think this is true, though? It doesn't seem right to me. My sense is that these sorts of religious values are in constant retreat, even among the nominally religious. They hold less and less sway all the time.

Clearly they're still present, but to the extent you're right that there is a sense of sexual repression, it seems to me that there must be some other social forces at play. Just doesn't make much sense to me that religiosity could decline in the way that it has and still form the basis for your observation.

I think there is something to it... if you go to a non sin based society you may not be having more sex but you will definitely see a difference in the reasons why...

I dont think this is the real reason behind it though
it took me years to figure it out but its not about the sex... its the game of sensuality and attraction.... the human engagement of intimacy with another human being that is so overlooked and that is very much alive .... and if you want more sex, I think you have to learn to appreciate that.

Similar to drinking alcohol, you appreciate the fine wine or great scotch as much or more than the buzz you get in the end ... anyone can go and get a $10 bottle of "wine" and get a buzz... but to really enjoy yourself you have to appreciate the journey.

I think society as a whole meanders back and forth between making sex too easy so as to not appreciate it or making it too deep so as to require an investment of time and effort.... its always been that way through history as far as I can tell.

I just wanted to add
this is probably a reflection of your own personal need as well
when we need anticipation, we seek targets that bring that out in us in some weird existential way

[pacde]

mistaken post

[polak]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

New study:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...ime=1470171485

I think people are just more inherently mean these days due to social media and there are so many ways to figure out how others view you which lowers peoples confidence.

I guess ugly people have feelings too?

[Winsor_Pilates]

The real problem is how porn, ease of finding multiple sexual partners and other sexual stimuli are affecting people's sex lives within relationships.

I'd say that is becoming a major problem and will only get worse with sex robots as someone already pointed out. But I don't see the assertions from the OP to be correct at all.

[peter12]

Human sexuality has always followed a cyclical cultural pattern with varying degrees of liberation and constraint. The Ancient Greeks, Romans, and even medieval Christians were all probably pretty promiscuous - depending on who you were, of course. Then, of course, you have the Puritans, Victorians, etc... They enjoyed sex too, but with more restraints (haha).

Not sure if sex robots will ever actually be a physical thing, but it is pretty certain that sexual experiences are becoming more and more individualized through technology. Pornography being the obvious example, but apps like Tinder, Grindr etc... serve to exacerbate a sense of feast or famine in our modern sexual landscape.

Certainly, it leads to an idea that our prospective partners should be ephemeral, tailor-made for us, and then, ultimately disposable. Studies, such as the one posted above, also maybe show a bifurcation of sexual liaisons where average or below average people are spending less time having sex, and the more attractive acquire more and more partners.

Maybe calgaryblood is mourning the death of the sexual revolution where sexuality was part of a large cultural excitement around the liberation of bodies. In that, I can see where he is coming from, but CHL has to be right that this has very little to do with religion.

[polak]

Peter12 has entered this thread.

Everyone grab a chair! You can all sit on my lap. It's cool....

[#-3]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

New study:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...ime=1470171485

Seems like an odd thread to just start out of nowhere on a hockey fan board, but who can resist talking about sex.


I think the right attitudes could actually have caused this as much as an increase in prudishness may have.

IMO as long as everyone involved is satisfied with the situations then why should anyone else care what they are doing. Allot of people talk about it being OK if you are comfortable with the situation, but really it isn't any fun unless your at least a little bit uncomfortable. I like the idea of being satisfied with the decisions you are making more.

I'm guessing that is more of the popular opinion than it has ever been. Younger people are understanding that better than ever and looking for a satisfying situation before they jump into something.