If your significant other was snooping your cell phone/laptop/etc..

[Raekwon]

My wife and I are very open also and recently she gave a little issue with me looking on Find my Phone to see where she was. Basically I found it easier when she had been out for a while to check on my phone. I don't do it because I don't trust her I do it because I'm lazy and its easier than phoning or texting.

[Coach]

Yeah your first paragraph is what I mentioned in the first part of mine. Totally fine, go for it. My GF knows the pass to my phone and vice versa purely because if we needed to look something up with the others, we have memorized them. Haven't really talked about potential abuse of something like that, probably because we trust each other enough to not even really think about it.

[OutOfTheCube]

I also had an ex-girlfriend a while back and we had each other's FB passwords, but we had to ask the other person before we went on. One time I went on hers without asking (it was near the end of the relationship ) and found a guy had been sexually harassing her for months and she never told me. Made me more defensive about being able to see what was going on on my SO's social media/text stuff ever since.

[Slava]

I don't look on my wifes phone and she doesn't look on mine. I have a lot of business information on my phone actually, and I wouldn't let her use my laptop either. I get that she can probably keep a secret, but some of this information is peoples personal financial information, such as friends and family. I just don't ever want anyone to think I have violated that confidence.

I do know a couple where he went into her emails and found out about a "rendezvous" though and that was interesting to watch. Clearly he was upset, but then again he was going through her emails, so she was also upset. To me the lesser 'crime' was the snooping, but I just stayed out of it entirely.

[squiggs96]

I wish more CP girlfriends checked out their partner's postings on CP. Then we could have more Bronzel moments.

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showpos...&postcount=327

[#-3]

It's a none issue with me and the wife. We both know each others passwords. Openly tell each other to log onto each others accounts to look at various things. (ex. check out the email I got from so an so).

I don't think my wife is snooping (much). But I have nothing I would actively try to stop her from seeing.

[cupofjoe]

I am a big believer that trust is earned not granted. I earn my wife's trust by being open and honest, and she does the same for me. My phone, my computer everything else is an open book. She is not the jealous type nor have I given her reason to be.

If I felt early on that she had trust issues or was overly jealous, we wouldn't be together. Life is to short IMO to have to deal with this.

If for some reason she became overtly snoopy or jealous in our relationship now, I would have a heart to heart with her, find out why this has change and try my best to resolve it.

Like most everyone, I have been in bad relationships, and have learned from them. This is the formula that works best for me.

[Hugh Jahrmes]

My ex in 2005ish thought she would be slick and install a key logger (never did discover her intentions with this), but left the installer in my download folder. This was back when I was really into computers, my PC was my baby, so this was a big deal to me. The first day I discovered it, I checked the log and recognized what appeared to be her signing into MSN. An extremely inappropriate conversation followed, which included plans to meet up that same day. I saw her get out of a truck a few houses down the street later on, asked her how her day was and who she was hanging out with. She told me she was with her cousin and her kids (drives a minivan). I called her a liar, she instantly became verbally aggressive and not only denied lying but had a prepared set of wild accusations of me cheating on her. I saw her phone on the table (Motorola razor I believe, the pink one she had wanted for months and I had just picked up for her), picked it up and broke it in half and dropped it in the sink with a #### eating grin on my face like I had accomplished something. This was a dumb move as she then broke my glasses. We broke up, and got back together several times after that. I was a stupid stupid horny kid back then.

TL;DR-
I would assume they were projecting their own dishonesty and motives on me and (hopefully) gracefully exit before things got worse.

[bubbsy]

The wife and i have access to one another's passwords, and though i dont' think either of us uses that as a means to "snoop", i have nothing to hide and assume she doesn't either, not that i'm going looking.

if you (or your partner) feel the need to do this level of investigatory work, there's a deeper issue in the relationship in my opinion that needs to be sorted out. debating/arguing about the snooping is almost a secondary issue.

[bigtmac19]

I don't understand that some couples believe not having any privacy in the relationship is the only way to prove trust. In my eyes having a close, loving, trusting relationship does not mean that I can't have some privacy, whether it be in respect to my phone or email or anything else really. I've been cheated on in the past, but I would still not go into another relationship expecting to have access to my partner's phone whenever I felt like it.

[TheGrimm]

My life isn't nearly exciting enough for anything in my text/chat/computer history to offend my wife.

I'd guess she'd be more upset about how big a waste of time that was for her.

[heep223]

Originally Posted by TheGrimm

I'd guess she'd be more upset about how big a waste of time that was for her.

Hahaha exactly....my texts are all stupid banter/chirping with friends and my emails are mostly work related.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Peanut

I've only snooped on one person and that was because I realized something was, in fact, going on and when asked directly, it was denied. So I snooped, found some stuff that confirmed it, and then the relationship ended.

I don't snoop on my now-husband because I trust him. And vice versa. Although sometimes he does ask me "who are you talking to on the internet?!?". And my answer is usually "some nerds".

Hey!

Originally Posted by Slava

I don't look on my wifes phone and she doesn't look on mine. I have a lot of business information on my phone actually, and I wouldn't let her use my laptop either. I get that she can probably keep a secret, but some of this information is peoples personal financial information, such as friends and family. I just don't ever want anyone to think I have violated that confidence.

I do know a couple where he went into her emails and found out about a "rendezvous" though and that was interesting to watch. Clearly he was upset, but then again he was going through her emails, so she was also upset. To me the lesser 'crime' was the snooping, but I just stayed out of it entirely.

Ditto. She can read pretty much anything I do, but my phone/laptop are off limits due to the confidentiality of my client's and their information.

I'll admit, I'm paranoid about that as some of her friends/coworkers are my clients and I have access to information that is none of her business regarding them.

Its never been a problem, she understands completely. She does think I spend too much time talking to 'all those hockey people.'

[pylon]

After thinking about this more, I actually figured out my exact strategy, and how I would handle it.

I have absolutely nothing to hide, so I would smile and say "Of course, feel free to look through my stuff."

Once she was done, I would ask, "Ok, is everything satisfactory to you?" and of course she would say yes, because I am not a two timing scum bag. "Great, I am glad you now know I am not a cheating POS, and make a lot more money than than I ever told you I did. Now get out of my house, and lose my number forever."

I would never ask to pry in my partners business, ever. If I am suspicious enough of them to want to pry, I am not with the right person. Period.

[Yasa]

Originally Posted by pylon

After thinking about this more, I actually figured out my exact strategy, and how I would handle it.

I have absolutely nothing to hide, so I would smile and say "Of course, feel free to look through my stuff."

Once she was done, I would ask, "Ok, is everything satisfactory to you?" and of course she would say yes, because I am not a two timing scum bag. "Great, I am glad you now know I am not a cheating POS, and make a lot more money than than I ever told you I did. Now get out of my house, and lose my number forever."

I would never ask to pry in my partners business, ever. If I am suspicious enough of them to want to pry, I am not with the right person. Period.

Then Bill Gates would descend from the heavens in his jet pack, hand you a cool case of Bud Light and a crisp $100 bill. Then with a wink, he's off into the sky to reward others for their brave acts of "sick burns."

[RyZ]

Originally Posted by Yasa

Then Bill Gates would descend from the heavens in his jet pack, hand you a cool case of Bud Light and a crisp $100 bill. Then with a wink, he's off into the sky to reward others for their brave acts of "sick burns."

That just reminded me of this comic for some reason. Now I'm picturing Bill Gates with a jet pack though.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by Yasa

Then Bill Gates would descend from the heavens in his jet pack, hand you a cool case of Bud Light and a crisp $100 bill. Then with a wink, he's off into the sky to reward others for their brave acts of "sick burns."

I guess my point is, if I was asked to divulge all my personal info, it is going to be over regardless. My intent would to be make it the most heart breakingly horrible scenario for them, by first letting them know exactly what they have lost, and how incredibly moronic their request was. I cannot believe the complacency some of you have over this issue. You are all over looking the massive flaw in the whole thing. It has nothing to do with the invasion of privacy, and everything to do with the complete, utter, lack of trust.

[OutOfTheCube]

Originally Posted by pylon

I guess my point is, if I was asked to divulge all my personal info, it is going to be over regardless. My intent would to be make it the most heart breakingly horrible scenario for them, by first letting them know exactly what they have lost, and how incredibly moronic their request was. I cannot believe the complacency some of you have over this issue. You are all over looking the massive flaw in the whole thing. It has nothing to do with the invasion of privacy, and everything to do with the complete, utter, lack of trust.

You are single though, right?

[pylon]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

You are single though, right?

I am not married. I am in a relationship.

[Street Pharmacist]

Originally Posted by pylon

I guess my point is, if I was asked to divulge all my personal info, it is going to be over regardless. My intent would to be make it the most heart breakingly horrible scenario for them, by first letting them know exactly what they have lost, and how incredibly moronic their request was. I cannot believe the complacency some of you have over this issue. You are all over looking the massive flaw in the whole thing. It has nothing to do with the invasion of privacy, and everything to do with the complete, utter, lack of trust.

My wife knows how much I make. She knows where I am all the time because we are always talking. She knows my passwords because sometimes I get her to sign onto stuff for me. When you are married, you are for all intents and purposes, one. Why must I house something? Or have some secret accounts?