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Originally Posted by Goodlad
This might fall into "cool story bro" territory, but my parents actually were investigated by the CPA at one point. I'm the oldest of 5 boys in our family, and we played sort of rough. Nothing crazy, but there was always one of us getting hurt. I remember during a one month span four of us ended up going to the hospital for various things. Fingers getting slammed in doors, falling off bikes, suspected concussion from riding our bikes down the stairs in the house......finally I ended up in the hospital when my parents ran me over with their car.
We were living in Utah at the time and it was winter. My mom was leaving to go to the store and I ran out to say something to her and slipped on some ice, then slid right under the car. She ended up backing out over my legs.....then when she felt the bump put the car in drive and ran over them again. She completely freaked out when she got out of the car and saw what she ran over. Rushed me to the hospital, and while I was getting x-rays someone from Child Protection Agency came over and talked to her. Apparently a hospital worker reported her. They came out to the house a few times after that to inspect the environment we were living, found nothing worse than a bunch of rambunctious boys and eventually left us alone.
Forget taking her kids away, how the hell did your mom have a driver's license?
"Hmmm, I just ran over something, but I don't know what it is. I had better run it over one more time before I go check it out."
Man, chicks are the worst!
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On the bullying issue - I think it's more prevalent these days because of the advent and wider adoption of social media. Kids have always been cruel and mean but they haven't always had access to the broader audiences and tools afforded to them by social media. Parents need to spend more time monitoring what their kids are doing and being exposed to on social media and help them to navigate through that world (both to handle adverse situations and be better internet/social media citizens). I wish more parents (I am a father of three) would spend more time on that issue than on preventing their kids from getting a few skinned knees and rounds of stitches because they were playing outside unsupervised.
I'm not scared of giving my kids freedom to roam, I'm scared of people thinking they need to step in and report me for being a neglectful parent. Once social services gets involved, even though there was no wrong doing, you're fata'd.
I'm not scared of giving my kids freedom to roam, I'm scared of people thinking they need to step in and report me for being a neglectful parent. Once social services gets involved, even though there was no wrong doing, you're fata'd.
You know, they had this issue somewhere else.
I think it was Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia where people were encouraged to be busybodies and report their neighbours for their conduct.
And yes, officially Godwinned, but with good reason.
We let our daughter ride her bike to a friend's house and ride her bike all of 5 minutes home. All up until the other kid's parents freaked out and refused to let her leave because it was dangerous to ride her bike and I had to show up and bring her home.
We do not live in 1990s-era Kosovo. People of almost all ages may roam the streets freely and not be in fear for their lives.
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I'm not scared of giving my kids freedom to roam, I'm scared of people thinking they need to step in and report me for being a neglectful parent. Once social services gets involved, even though there was no wrong doing, you're fata'd.
Not true actually, you shouldn't even be worried about it. Social services might poke around if you get reported, but it takes a LOT for them to really get on your case. You need to pretty much be physically or emotionally abusing your children, or be deemed an unfit parent (severe issues, drug addiction, etc).
My wife is a social worker. The things she investigates aren't even close to the things being mentioned in this thread, so as far as I'm concerned, parent your kids how you'd like. There was one instance that involved a kid with some injuries, and once they saw how much of a troublemaker the kid was and how obviously accidental the injuries were, they moved right on. Amounted to no more than a couple conversations.
As long as you love your kids, feed them, clothe them, and teach them, the government has absolutely zero interest in you or your children. People being worried about social workers are pretty much letting irrational fears dictate how they raise their children.
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On the bullying issue - I think it's more prevalent these days because of the advent and wider adoption of social media. Kids have always been cruel and mean but they haven't always had access to the broader audiences and tools afforded to them by social media. Parents need to spend more time monitoring what their kids are doing and being exposed to on social media and help them to navigate through that world (both to handle adverse situations and be better internet/social media citizens). I wish more parents (I am a father of three) would spend more time on that issue than on preventing their kids from getting a few skinned knees and rounds of stitches because they were playing outside unsupervised.
I would agree with this to a certain extent.
But kids put themselves in even worse situations now than they did before. Now 12 year olds send nude pics to eachother and are shocked when they are sent to others, which is much more shameful than what generally happened when I was in school.
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Social media is easily the greatest source of potential harm for young people going right now. When we were in school your missteps - or bullies - followed you through the school day and that was more-or-less it. These days those same things have constant and pervasive access to you. Young people need protection and guidance through social media and its use far more than they need protection from skinned knees and tackle football games. Parents must become much more familiar and much more vigilant regarding their children using social media. Don't think that becoming facebook friends with your child is enough - kids don't really seem to use it any more. The things you should worry about would be Instagram, ask.fm, and Snapchat (easily the scariest thing going for young people as far as I'm concerned).
Why do we let our children use pieces of technology in the privacy of their bedrooms or away from our supervision but not walk home from school alone or ride bikes from friends' houses alone? The difference in the potential for harm between these things is overwhelming. The vast majority of parents are worrying about the wrong things and thinking that they are actually doing a great job of protecting their children.
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I work for an oil and gas company. Our HR dept has to deal with parents calling each spring when annual raises are announced and they demand answers on why their kids didn't get raises (or if they're lower than expected). Keep in mind these"kids" are usually at least 25 years old. If that's not helicopter parenting, not sure what is
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I was probably given too much responsibility as a kid growing up. In the summers us 3 kids were out the door early in the morning and never returned except for lunch and dinner. We were always told there were consequences and if we did anything bad the punishment would be severe. Other than skinned knees, fights with other kids and tattered clothing we survived.
We weren't necessarily always up to good things. During the summer we would sometimes light off fire crackers in back alleys late at night fooling people into thinking guns were being fired or to just wake people up. Other times we would put dog crap into paper bags and light it one fire as we rang peoples door bells. Thankfully our parents never found out and we never got caught.
We did have this one neighbour who would spy on us kids and try to report any wrong doings they would see. Other times they would take our football or hockey ball if it ended up in their yard. Lets just say the rest of the parents on our street didn't like those people. In fact I remember they had a cat they would let out doors often. My dad would see the cat often and sick our dog on it. Shorty would chase that cat up the tree much to the anger of the people across the street
Computers/internet and social media wasn't invented yet when we were growing up. More time was spent out doors and we were probably a lot more active than the kids growing up today. It was non stop street hockey during the winter months where we would often challenge other streets within our area to tournaments and it always ended up in our own version of a Stanley Cup final. Cars were often dinted or scratched from being hit with sticks or street hockey balls. The summer was filled with football, baseball, hiking, building tree forts etc. We were pretty creative with our free time.
IIRC I was 11 years old when my parents allowed me to take the bus downtown or go to junior hockey games in the old Corral. My brother and sister were never given that same privilidge when they got to that age and complained bitterly.
One of my friends parents had a subscription to Playboy and he would sometimes sneek a magazine out of the house so we all could look at the centerfold girl. IIRC we used to call womens breasts back them watering cans as we always wondered what they were filled with.
The strap was nearing the end of it's life cycle when I was in school. Legendary stories about who got in trouble and how it hurt kept us in line most of the time. We never knew if the stories were true but we sure didn't want to find out.
If a teacher smacked your hand or head the response I always got was.. "Smarten up! You probably deserved it! Teachers back then hand more freedom to discipline kids and I think it made thier jobs a lot easier than the ones today. Failing a grade meant failing a grade. You were not coddled or protected and if you if you failed a course or grade you had to repeat it. There was no parents running to schools to complain about failed courses or grades
In the end i'm not sure why my parents gave us 3 kids so much trust and freedom to do what we wanted. I'm guessing it was because they wanted us to grow up with a sense of adventure and no fears of trying different things and taking responsibility for our own actions.
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Every time I hear the words "play date" I just want to slap them
That term gmg too. Though the actual play date has been happening forever. Mom, I'm going to Brads tomorrow. Or I want to go to bills can you give me a ride.
Now parents name these things so they have events to fill their lives to compete.
The biggest thing lacking is doing nothing. Unscheduled time to do whatever. I think this is an issue for parents too.
Remember when playgrounds were made of wood, steel and those small rocks? Those were the days.
Or some nice recycled tires, all bolted together with some chains, and rope, all over sharp ass shale. That hardened a young kid up! If you take a header and you hit the ground, it should hurt. The playground surfaces now are pillow soft and rubberized. Falling and it not hurting, is not a great life lesson.
Like everything, there are two sides. For every 1 parent who was letting their kid have freedom to grow as well adjusted independent child, there is another who allows it because they get a break from parenting and can get hammered or stoned.
One mans 'letting them discover the consequences' is another man's 'you allow your kid to sucker punch other ones in the face because you don't want to do the hard work it takes to stop that stuff'.
When I was a kid I used to think my parents sucked because they were super strict so I would spend as much time as I was allowed at my cousins where they were allowed to do ANYTHING. When I became an adult and could look back, my cousins parents weren't thinkin of their kids future to be independent adults with creativity. Mom was hammered on wine the whole time and dad was banging whoever he could find or spend all his days at work to avoid his loveless marriage. Cousins are all kinda fataed up now and the parents are in brutal lonely lives now.
I know it goes against the 'typical kids and parents suck these days' sentiment that is shared since the beginning of time (and has been proven wrong every time), but I think parenting is getting better every generation (its not perfect). Its no surprise that the most backward societies are the ones where physically assaulting your children is seen as a positive.
I think there is a certain amount of self-orientation that today's parent loses. I don't have kids so I can't speak to any kind of specific understanding, but even though I know having a child is a complete reversal of your life priorities, parents who 'only' have their children aren't doing anyone any favours. I think, specifically, this is a thing with moms more than dads, but I have seen both.
I think that kind of hyper involvement is bad for the children and the parent(s).
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I think some of you guys are being overly sentimental. There are still lots of unsafe, gravelly, hard-surfaced, death traps at schools and playgrounds all over the country. Quit acting like they're all gone and nothing resembles your childhood. There all sorts of ways for our kids to chip their teeth, concuss themselves, or break bones if they want to in a playground. Realistically, with the small exception of some playgrounds having soft surfaces and no more tetherball, nothing has changed.
I think some of you guys are being overly sentimental. There are still lots of unsafe, gravelly, hard-surfaced, death traps at schools and playgrounds all over the country. Quit acting like they're all gone and nothing resembles your childhood. There all sorts of ways for our kids to chip their teeth, concuss themselves, or break bones if they want to in a playground. Realistically, with the small exception of some playgrounds having soft surfaces and no more tetherball, nothing has changed.
One thing that is missing is giant swings. Every swing now days is max 8ft tall. How are you supposed to break an ankle jumping off of an 8ft swing.
One thing that is missing is giant swings. Every swing now days is max 8ft tall. How are you supposed to break an ankle jumping off of an 8ft swing.
I think the new giant saucer swings could do more maximum damage and take out at least 6 innocent bystanders in one fell swoop. Maybe even take down a teacher when they come close to rescue the fallen kids. While I haven't experienced getting hit by one, judging by the weight and feel, I am pretty sure it would be like getting hip-checked by a car going about 20 kph.
In the early 90s, I went to elementary with a kid whose mom drove to the school at recess and made him sit in the car with her. He was heavily ostracized for this, and eventually went to another school in the middle of grade four.
Now, I wouldn't be surprised if this happened more often--but it seemed highly unusual when I was a kid and 99% of the students lived within 10 blocks from the school (himself included).
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I think the new giant saucer swings could do more maximum damage and take out at least 6 innocent bystanders in one fell swoop. Maybe even take down a teacher when they come close to rescue the fallen kids. While I haven't experienced getting hit by one, judging by the weight and feel, I am pretty sure it would be like getting hip-checked by a car going about 20 kph.
Had my daughter and I just flying on one of those. Fun.
You cant jump off them, or slow it down though. Thought I'd found the perpetual motion machine.
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