Gets teased in school and instead of crying, actually does something about it - wow!

[To Be Quite Honest]

Originally Posted by pylon

I think sometimes you take so much, you simply do not recover, nor can you, nor do you want to. Like concussions I guess. Eventually you take enough blows to the head, you have permanent brain damage from them. Losing my sister when I was 21, then her son, a brother to me, at 37, both under horrible circumstances, and being the last person in the family that talks to both of them........ it's not easy. But it isn't anger. It is more like apathetic acceptance. You accept being happy just isn't in the cards for you, by some cosmic force, by coincidence... whatever it is.

The last year of my life has been difficult. I go to work, I come home, and I rot away on frozen dinners. I have completely shut myself in, and at this point, it is all I want. Pay the bills, and just exist. You start to envy those who get to go out naturally. I am not suicidal, but I don't care if I die.... does that make sense? Eventually you lose so much of yourself when you lose 2 people so close to you, so young, enough of yourself dies, that you become a shell of who you once were. It took me almost 10 years to truly accept what happened with my sister. In all honesty, I was grew closer to him, than her, the little bro I always wanted. Her son was that bright ray of hope for me. Redemption that our family did everything right for her to carry on her legacy. Then, well, it's all gone. Vaporized.

You don't pick yourself up off the mat from that, and go off whistling the Chitty-Chitty bang bang theme into the sunset, and if you do... there is something wrong with you. The pain is what it is, and you learn to manage it no differently than physical pain.

I know I am not the only person out there to go through these types of losses. If I could stop one person though, from making the same irrational decision, by them reading these words, then this post, and peek into my irreversibly damaged psyche is worth it. As survivors of suicide, have to endure a lifetime of pain.

I understand you perfectly pylon. You can sum it up in one word. "Numb"

I've been there just a few years ago and I'm just coming clear from it. Suffering loss is more traumatic then anyone can expect.

[Yasa]

Originally Posted by pylon

CC, I respect your opinion, but that it all it is. I think you are forgetting, I have just recently gone through a suicide in my family, and half of what you are preaching to me, is simply that.... your opinion. Unfortunately I wasn't so lucky, and my family member didn't screw it up, and very successfully completed the task. Until you are in the position to have soak up all that pain, regret, anger. Until you have to go to the Airport, and sign for a f'ing corpse at customs (yeah bodies have to clear customs), it is entirely different.

I loved my nephew more than anyone, and if it meant I had to blow my brains out, to save his, I would have done it in a second, he had that much promise, and that much going for him. But, if he was standing in front of me right now, I would smack that bugger right in the mouth for what he did to me, and my parents who raised him. He didn't just murder himself, he murdered my dad by shortening what years of life he has left as he looks to have aged 10 years in the last 12 months. He did the same to my mother, and I will never recover, knowing that I was the last person in my family to talk to him. How do you think his partner who recently broke up with him that caused all this feels? They will NEVER be the same. But I cannot blame him. He did this to himself. He was a rational person, that made an irrational snap decision. He murdered himself, And as much as I love him, I hate him for that act.

Had he asked any of us for help, any of us would have been on the first flight to New York to help him. The ONE person, he told exactly what he was going to do, sent him out of their office, and told him to come see her next Monday. By Saturday, he was gone.

Again I respect your opinion CC, but yours is not the only one, and the answers to this problem are not as simple as you are painting them to be, as much as we all love revenge justice.

Sorry to hear about that, Pylon.

I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, so I could be really wrong in how I interpreted your post and I mean no disrespect. It sounds like, by your reaction here, that this is why a lot of people tend to suffer in silence.

They're embarassed by how they feel and they don't want to burden anybody by what's going on. They sort of get cornered and are afraid that if they tell somebody then they'll get an angry response. Things along the lines of "you're being selfish" and "how could you put us through this?"

I'm sure that if your nephew had come to you and asked for help that you would be there in a heartbeat and would have given him the help he needed, without scolding. Unfortunately the anger you seem to have towards what has happened can sometimes be the first hand reaction by people when trying to help, and that can lead to deeper problems which is why a lot of people hesitate.

It's not a black and white issue though. Not many things are (except Oreos, I suppose? Lame joke.) So it's hard to say, really.

[missdpuck]

Originally Posted by Minnie

One of my kids was bullied. In school, out of school, online - many threats of severe physical violence, and they even managed to inflict a bit of minor physical violence - hard shoves into lockers or walls, etc. A ton of vile verbal abuse. This kid was not being a wimp, was not doing anything to cause it. And we tried everything - 'oh just ignore it' to start with. I mean, we tried it all. The school's no tolerance policy was a joke and never enforced.

We took every measure we had available to us and to our child, and nothing changed. It didn't change until the little turdbots showed up at our front door, to try and intimidate my child in their own home, harass them at our front door.

They knew I worked full time and thought they'd have a little fun. My kid got to the door first, opened it, they started in immediately with some nasty verbal crap and my child slammed the door in their faces. What they didn't know was that the day they chose to 'drop by', I ended up staying home from work with a migraine, and I scared the #### out of them.

I was very calm and spoke quietly and evenly and with measure but they knew they were in really deep poop by the time I was done. I didn't threaten them in any way (verbally or with physical violence anyway) but I made sure they knew what the consequences of their actions were going to be. They tried to tell me that they had stopped by to 'apologize' but I told them I'd heard what they said to my child and if that was an apology, they needed to utilize a dictionary to find out the definition of apology.

Once they left the property, I took my child with me to the police station. We only wanted to inquire what our options were because we just didn't know what else to do, where else to turn, what else to try, but the police were very serious about it. They talked to both my child and I, took our statements, got the names of the kids who were harassing, and home visits were made to those kids' homes, and they were told that another visit, another word, any contact whatsoever, could open them up to charges under the criminal code, for harassment and stalking and so on. They were instructed to act as though my child didn't even exist on this planet. Told not to walk down our street. Don't talk to my child at school. No electronic contact. Visits were made to my child's school and the staff was told that there was a file open and that they were to report anything that violated any of the steps they laid out to the bullies.

That ended it for the most part - that and switching our child to a different school a couple of months later. One of the little turdburglers contacted my kid online and we just took a screen shot and forwarded it to the constable on my child's case file. Another home visit was made and the kid got in major poo from the cops and parents. That was the last of it. Finally. Took 2 years though.

Wow you are fortunate to have a bunch of great police officers. To make a long story short, I've been tormented by a weirdo neighbor who apparently did similar things to the previous owner of my house. She also creates a lot of bizarre melodramas in the neighborhood, but since none of my neighbors are really friendly towards eachother they end up believing her, until, of course, it's about them. She's actually complained about my fabric softener, which is nothing exotic. I was told nothing could be done unless I put up a no trespassing sign and get a video of her destroying my property. I would love it if some authority told her she couldn't yell things when I'm outside, and drive/stand in front of my house and stare at me, or sit on her roof and look into my windows.
I've always had odd experiences like this, and I'm quiet and hardly bother with anyone. The authorities have never helped.

Sorry for your situation, pylon. I understand how it is to just accept your fate. I have never contemplated suicide (maybe once when I was a teenager) I had a shrink tell me I'm depressed, but I dont agree really, and it's not because of shame. I go out, I accomplish things, and accept that sunrises and sunsets are reliable and people aren't, and I'm okay with that. If my neighbor goes out for the day and I'm home, i'm happy and often just sit inside all day because at least for that time it's my house, and there's no idiot throwing roundup in my lily pond or yelling that I'm a hoarder because "those boxes have been on that kitchen table for months" haha I sell clothes on ebay and dumbass the boxes I use all look alike.

[T@T]

Best way to stop a bully is with humor and wit.