When a joke is no longer a joke...

[transplant99]

Not only are the parents crossing a line here...its bordering on child abuse IMO. Obviously not the physical element of abuse, but most assuredly emotional/psychological abuse.

I mean....really? They are children and don't have the same levek of understanding needed to determine that a "prank" is what is at hand.

Honestly i think i would make the authorities aware of this crap (a call to child protection services as an example)....as those children have no hope of turning out OK if they are being exposed to that level of emotional upheaval on a regular basis.

Mind boggling actually.

[Khel]

Out of curiosity, is it normal to leave a 6 year old at home alone with an 11 year old?

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by Cortez

Awesome story GreenLantern. Now that's an effective way of punishment- reminds me of Arrested Development...

Love the one armed man.

[ernie]

Originally Posted by Flames89

So the parents tell the kids not to eat the danish because it is full of bugs, and the kid (who already ate it, likely knowing not to) freaks out and goes to the neighbour to be taken to the hospital?
Meh. Not as bad as I first thought.
If you see a parent spank their kid (not throttle/beat), are they bad parents? or maybe there be more to the story ...

Not quite....first it was telling them they were going shopping in a city 4 hours away so the kids would be on their own for a long time (in the kids minds). They didn't say don't eat the danish because it was full of bugs. They never told them not to eat the danish at all before leaving (not sure that actually matters to tell you the truth...leave kids alone with sweets they will eat them. The only lesson to be learned is don't leave kids alone with sweets if you expect them to be there later). It was a call while out where they asked if he had eaten the danish because they were full of bugs. He said he had eaten it along with his friend next door. They said the bugs will make you very sick. He got worked up, worried for himself and his friend and started to make their way to our house. They were intercepted on the way so they never made it to our house.

Then of course the one parent decided to have a laugh about it on facebook. And that stemmed this thread. Until I talk to them I will not fully form the judgement in my mind.

Either way it's still treating the kids like they are some sort of experiment and it all rubs me completely the wrong way. There was no lesson being taught here and if there was it could certainly be taught in a much different way then making your kid think his health and the health of their friend is in danger. And to the credit of the facebook friends when they usually pull these pranks and post the story they get a lot of comments of "wow. hilarious!" and this time there isn't a comment. Not one. It would seem this story did not go over well with anyone.

[Plett25]

Originally Posted by transplant99

Not only are the parents crossing a line here...its bordering on child abuse IMO. Obviously not the physical element of abuse, but most assuredly emotional/psychological abuse.

I don't think this incident rises to the level of abuse, but what worries me is if they do this for yucks, what do they do when they're mad at the kids?

[DuffMan]

I think it borders on mental abuse of the children. It's one thing to play a prank on a kid, and then a minute later tell them you were kidding, but to put the idea in an 11 year olds head that they were going to get sick from something they ate, while you are out of the house for a long time, is not a prank. Especially if the kid has to worry about another 6 year old in their care. Laughing about it on fb just proves they like to bully their kids.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by GreenLantern

When I was little my brother and I were in a time out.. we were trouble makers.. maybe nothing has changed Anyway, we were sitting by the phone and my brother convinced me to call 911.. I was young, maybe 4 or 5, so I didn't fully understand what this 911 was all about. I knew you called it if you were in trouble, and well I was in trouble for something I had done.. maybe the wrong kind of trouble though.

The woman kept asking me questions and I kept giving her little kid smart ass remarks, then my brother grabbed the phone and said Shut up lady! And hung up.

Well we got a call back and my Mom answered the phone, talked in a very hushed tone and then hung up. She told us there was bad news, we had committed one of the most serious crimes by pranking the police and now we had to go to jail. They were going to donate all our toys to kids that needed them since we couldn't bring them with us, and there were no video games there or recess. We cried, and cried. We cried some more. Then we got a phone call from the police chief and he talked to us very sternly about how serious this all was. He said JUST this time he would let us off the hook, but they would be watching us for years to come.

My Mom passed away when I was 9, but she kept a journal about our childhood in our memory boxes, or whatever you want to call them, where all our childhood memories were stored. I was leafing through it when I happened across a page talking about that day. She mentioned how the first call back was the police, they explained what happened and my Mom explained her end, she told them she would discipline us for it. So instead of more time outs or spankings or what have you, she got our Uncle to phone back pretending to be the police chief and give us a hard time. I tell you that was the most effective form of punishment she could have brought down on us and it had us walking straight for years afterward. I found this journal just 3 or 4 years ago, when I was 25, and had believed for 2 decades that the police chief was watching me.

Oh man, what an awesome story. It really starts to get good around "Shut up, Lady!"

[Buzzard]

Without being too obvious, offer to take the kids camping, skiing, etc. some weekend.

On the way home, drop the wife off with kids at Dairy Queen and explain to them you have to run home quickly to do something, but you go straight to the friends place. Run screaming to their door explaining the kids went missing, but you've already got the authorities working on it. Let them panic and freak out for a while, then retrieve kids before it gets out of hand.

Proceed to give them the ol'...PSYCHE!!!! and explain that knowing their sense of humor, you thought they' get quite a kick out of it!

[FanIn80]

Originally Posted by ernie

Not quite....first it was telling them they were going shopping in a city 4 hours away so the kids would be on their own for a long time (in the kids minds). They didn't say don't eat the danish because it was full of bugs. They never told them not to eat the danish at all before leaving (not sure that actually matters to tell you the truth...leave kids alone with sweets they will eat them. The only lesson to be learned is don't leave kids alone with sweets if you expect them to be there later). It was a call while out where they asked if he had eaten the danish because they were full of bugs. He said he had eaten it along with his friend next door. They said the bugs will make you very sick. He got worked up, worried for himself and his friend and started to make their way to our house. They were intercepted on the way so they never made it to our house.

Then of course the one parent decided to have a laugh about it on facebook. And that stemmed this thread. Until I talk to them I will not fully form the judgement in my mind.

Either way it's still treating the kids like they are some sort of experiment and it all rubs me completely the wrong way. There was no lesson being taught here and if there was it could certainly be taught in a much different way then making your kid think his health and the health of their friend is in danger. And to the credit of the facebook friends when they usually pull these pranks and post the story they get a lot of comments of "wow. hilarious!" and this time there isn't a comment. Not one. It would seem this story did not go over well with anyone.

"...and that's why you always leave a note!"

[Daradon]

Originally Posted by GreenLantern

When I was little my brother and I were in a time out.. we were trouble makers.. maybe nothing has changed Anyway, we were sitting by the phone and my brother convinced me to call 911.. I was young, maybe 4 or 5, so I didn't fully understand what this 911 was all about. I knew you called it if you were in trouble, and well I was in trouble for something I had done.. maybe the wrong kind of trouble though.

The woman kept asking me questions and I kept giving her little kid smart ass remarks, then my brother grabbed the phone and said Shut up lady! And hung up.

Well we got a call back and my Mom answered the phone, talked in a very hushed tone and then hung up. She told us there was bad news, we had committed one of the most serious crimes by pranking the police and now we had to go to jail. They were going to donate all our toys to kids that needed them since we couldn't bring them with us, and there were no video games there or recess. We cried, and cried. We cried some more. Then we got a phone call from the police chief and he talked to us very sternly about how serious this all was. He said JUST this time he would let us off the hook, but they would be watching us for years to come.

My Mom passed away when I was 9, but she kept a journal about our childhood in our memory boxes, or whatever you want to call them, where all our childhood memories were stored. I was leafing through it when I happened across a page talking about that day. She mentioned how the first call back was the police, they explained what happened and my Mom explained her end, she told them she would discipline us for it. So instead of more time outs or spankings or what have you, she got our Uncle to phone back pretending to be the police chief and give us a hard time. I tell you that was the most effective form of punishment she could have brought down on us and it had us walking straight for years afterward. I found this journal just 3 or 4 years ago, when I was 25, and had believed for 2 decades that the police chief was watching me.

Pretty good story but you believed you were being watched (or had been watched) into your 20's?

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by Plett25

I don't think this incident rises to the level of abuse, but what worries me is if they do this for yucks, what do they do when they're mad at the kids?

Telling your kid that you are going to leave them somewhere and drive to another city, leaving them in a situation where they think no one is going to provide their needs, plus tack on whatever the hell was going on with the danish/bugs/hospital isn't going to be damaging to those kids?

[Clarkey]

I find the wrapping up a little girls toy for the 9 year old boy hilarious and will probably borrow that one in the future.

[Kipperriffic]

nm

[jeffh]

ernie, who paid for the two ambulance visits?

[Fozzie_DeBear]

This is serious, these kids need help NOW

Call 1 800-668-6868 (Kids Help Phone) and tell them what is going on...you can be anonymous

People can't let this abuse pass

[Oling_Roachinen]

I'd say there's a lot of overreaction in this thread.

Now, I'm not saying what the parents did was wrong but it heavily depends on the child. Some children react to pranks differently, it's that simple. If they have children who have a good laugh 20 minutes after this happen it's fine. Could even be a better way of teaching your children lessons (like not eating their dad's cherry danishes without permission...) than more normal punishments. Again depending on the child.

I do see that the parents were checking up on them and had taught them correctly what to do in case of emergencies. In the end, I'm not quite ready to label them the worst parents ever.

If you do want to take actions, I'm not going to argue. Worst case scenario is it was a waste of time for the CPS.

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by Oling_Roachinen

I'd say there's a lot of overreaction in this thread.

Now, I'm not saying what the parents did was wrong but it heavily depends on the child. Some children react to pranks differently, it's that simple. If they have children who have a good laugh 20 minutes after this happen it's fine. Could even be a better way of teaching your children lessons (like not eating their dad's cherry danishes without permission...) than more normal punishments. Again depending on the child.

I do see that the parents were checking up on them and had taught them correctly what to do in case of emergencies. In the end, I'm not quite ready to label them the worst parents ever.

If you do want to take actions, I'm not going to argue. Worst case scenario is it was a waste of time for the CPS.

This isn't something that would be investigated by CPS, so I don't see how it would be a waste of time for them.

There is something seriously wrong about teaching your kids they cannot trust you. Does it require some other drastic action? Doubtful, but it does kind of indicate the parents might have some other issues. Issues, which might require some intervention.

[Regular_John]

Originally Posted by jammies

My parents didn't overly coddle me, but they didn't take fiendish delight in causing me emotional distress for their own petty enjoyment, either. I'm not sure where the disconnect in logic lies, other than in your own odd perspective.

The parents referred to in the original post sound like child abusers to me. They are abusing their position of trust to cause willful emotion pain to children in their care, which is reprehensible and unforgivable. What "lesson" are they teaching the kids, that you can't trust adults? How enlightening.

This is exactly what "disconnect" I was having, why CP (and really, most online communities) are so quick to condem people/families based on one (very confusing) story. You seem to have taken the "the kids were in tears? ABUSE!" position, which I find interesting that such a distinction can be made with such little information.

Let's turn the table, what if the original story was posted by the parents "Dear god my kids annoy me some days. I bought a fancy dessert for dinner tonight and told my son 'Don't eat this!' and to mess with him a bit I told him it was ful of bugs that would make him sick. Well flash forward a few hours later and not only have him and his sister eaten it, their over at the neighbours in tears trying to call an ambulance because fo the 'bugs' I told them about. God, now my neighbour is calling in CFS! The nerve!"

Two sides to each story, which none of us are privy to.

In all fairness I guess I just find the original story to be a non-issue based on the confusing nature of the original post. So I resorted to dissecting CP's reactions to it rather than the "is it abuse" question.

[Ducay]

I think I know the bunch too, and I got a feeling their entire family is going down

[ernie]

An update:

First, I'm sorry if the story was confusing. I shouldn't have left out who made the facebook post.

We talked to the father last night and what was posted on facebook is what happened but perhaps I can make it more clear. (and in fact I think it's a little worse).

1) the parents left the kids to run a few errands in town
2) when they were on their way back the wife called the kids about 10-15 minutes from home and told them they had decided to go shopping a few hours away and asked them if they were OK and had enough to eat (this was the part I think is a bit worse now..telling them you were going out for a bit and turning it into all day)
3) the kids said yes they had enough to eat and they had just eaten the now famous danish (they were never told not to eat them)
4) the danish full of bugs and making them sick thing happened. The wife thinking it was a good prank as they would be home soon to reveal the punchline.
5) kid gets upset panics and starts getting ready to head over to our house.

Now we love these kids almost as much as our own. We've known them their entire lives and while the pranking gets on my nerves there has been no "prank" that ever IMO got close to the line let alone went over. At least that we or anyone else knows of. The christmas gift was the worst but honestly it was funny, not drawn out...you sort of had to be there to watch him open up that gift while his sister opened up the gift he really wanted.

When talking to the father last night he revealed that there was no "we" in the facebook post it was all the wife and he tried to get her to stop when he realized what was happening. He knows it was over the line and has discussed it with the wife (we also weren't the only ones to express outrage apparently). She knows it was over the line and they truly do seem committed to making sure that isn't something that happens again. It helps that my wife went through some mind screwing of her own when she was a kid so she could explain exactly how a kid feels and how it still messes her up 25 years later.

As of right now it was a mistake, a horrible horrible extremely selfish mistake. We'll monitor and provide as much help as we can because honestly as much as my reaction was "what a couple of A-holes and d-bags" they are good people who have trouble with their parenting skills and in this case recognizing where the line should be (there are reasons, not excuses, for the lack of parenting skills in both their cases). As I said, our decision right now is to help them along with open and honest discussion. It won't be easy. It might fail but they are surprisingly open to the help.