What to do about a bad neighbour?

[polak]

Why tip-toe around the issue at all then?

Kill it with fire.

[Rathji]

Shoot. Shovel. Shutup.

Honestly, aside from dealing with the property damage, not much that can be done other than convince the landlord to kick them out.

[skudr248]

Tell her to put up a fake eviction notice on their door when they are not home, with nice big bold red "EVICTION NOTICE" letters, and have something like a 30 day move out date, never know, it could work... then 15 days later, throw on another reminder

[darockwilder]

I am having a bit of a neighbour issue myself. My one neighbour is an older lady, probably late 60's and just retired. Her husband passed away 2 years ago and her son, who is in his 20's lives with her between stints in jail. The main issue started last year in the summer when we would open our windows to cool the house down at night. Her (also open) bedroom window is relatively close to our bedroom window and late at night (after 11) it sounded like she was crying loudly, almost wailing. We would just shut the window and feel bad for her, because we thought she was sad about losing her husband. This happened maybe once a week intermittently and one night my wife was already asleep when I went to bed myself, and the noise starts up from next door again. I was about to close the window when it occurred to me that the sounds were not of a woman crying at all, but the sounds of woman 'pleasuring herself'! I refused to believe it at first, but it did not take long to come the the realization that is indeed what was happening. I immediately closed the window and the next morning told my wife what I thought was happening. She also was skeptical, but in a week or so it happened again and she agreed that was what was happening. Well, winter comes and so of course the windows are shut now due to the weather so we sort of forget about it. We were on holidays for parts of July and August but are back now, and due to the heat the night time house cooling procedure has been reinstated. Well last week it started up again and my wife is completely disgusted. Now when it happens before closing our window she will yell something like "give me a ####ing break!!!" or "close your goddamn window!!!" all to no avail. Well, last night took the cake. My wife went to bed before me, windows open, and about 11:15 I hear her yelling, the window slam, and she stomps downstairs where I am. "She's got ####ing company with her tonight and she's yelling his name!!!!!" I don't even know what to say, because these geriatric gasps of pleasure woke her from her sleep and now she is supremely pissed off. It was kind of funny because I didn't have to listen to any of it, but I really don't know how to approach this if it's even possible. Things are confounded a bit by the son who is smoking weed every night between our houses. I think he is a bit of loose cannon so I don't want to do anything that could result in the guy burning our house down or anything like that. I don't think she is breaking any noise bylaws, but it is pretty ####ing gross.

Sorry for the long rant, this was really only half looking for legitimate advice and half wondering what the perverted CP braintrust can come up with that is funny.

[CaptainCrunch]

Look at your wife, waggle your eyebrows and leave it at that.

[Regulator75]

^^^ Did Fotze move back home?

[ken0042]

Get central air conditioning.

[troutman]

I've seen movies with that scenario on the internet. The problem was usually solved by a coming together of the neighbors.

[Knut]

Buy an AC unit.

Edit: beaten by Ken

[Igster]

Look into an AC unit and something to help you with paragraphs.

[darockwilder]

Originally Posted by ken0042

Get central air conditioning.

It's on my list

[DuffMan]

bang your wife and have a moan down/off?, oh yeah. it's on biotch.

[To Be Quite Honest]

Write a song about hearing your neighbor squeal. Record it on your computer and then leave the disk on the front door. If it continues then play the song loudly out the window.

Or

Talk to them. Everyone needs love but they don't have to have the window open when they do it. If it continues get a gag ball for her. Issue solved!

[BlackArcher101]

Only way to beat that is to make things more awkward for the neighbour. Push the level of decency, think ass cheeks to window and loud screaming as a good start. Maybe throw in some furry costumes.

[Bmuzyka]

Record it, and then play it on non-stop loop when her son is out smoking up

[The Coppernian One]

Why is everyone overlooking the criminal element here?

Son is in and out of jail, just figure out how to mention that some guy is spending time on top of his mom once a week. Son takes care of guy (or listens to his mom do her thing solo), guy doesn't come around anymore and son goes back to jail so no more pot smoking between the houses.

If she goes back to solo operations, then listen to the advice above. Fire with fire.

[DuffMan]

oh, I forgot to ask,,, is she hot?

[Rathji]

I say leave a note on her door that says:

We can head your moaning inside our bedroom next door. If I wanted to hear you have an orgasm, I would normally expect to at least buy dinner first. I can't afford to take you to a nice restaurant, so could you close your window instead?

Alternately, if you don't want to finger yourself as the complainer, say you can hear it 3 houses down or something.

[DuffMan]

Originally Posted by Rathji

I say leave a note on her door that says:


Alternately, if you don't want to finger yourself as the complainer, say you can hear it 3 houses down or something.

nice choice of wording.

[CaptainCrunch]

Um how do we know that she's self pleasuring, maybe her son is giving her a errr helping hand.