Over-protective helicopter parents responsible for increased child obesity

[Senator Clay Davis]

Ahh my favorite conservation with the parents "If so and so did such and such, would you do it too?". To which the answer was usually some variation of the the old smart-ass "Damn right I would!

[CaptainCrunch]

Yeah at least once a year we played home made parachute and the school roof.

Followed by the ride to the hospital.

[Phanuthier]

I see this thread turned into a "look how tough and athletic I was when I was younger" yet again...

Back to the thread... its more or less a fact that a family has 2 working parents these days. Is it really surprising that when a parent gets home, they don't get their kids involved? Also, is it really a surprise that when a person (be it child or otherwise) is given the path of least resistance, they pick the lazy option?

I'm not a parent, but from what I can see, its a big sacrifice to balance your working life with your family life, and still somewhere in between find some time to yourself.

[Sliver]

I love how people without kids think their warped memories of being raised in the 1970s are in any way relevant to how parents actually have to raise their kids in 2012. Honestly guys, just stop. You sound ridiculous.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

I'm not a parent, but from what I can see, its a big sacrifice to balance your working life with your family life, and still somewhere in between find some time to yourself.

You speak of quality of life.

That is a big reason we moved to Sylvan Lake. In terms of compensation it's a bit of a wash, but quality of life is much better. No working weekends/nights or on call.

My wife is at home to see the kids when they get home from school. I get home @ 5:15 after a stress free 15 minute commute if it's busy. lots of time to see the kids and play with them.


this women has an interesting view:

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

very similiar to mine.

[Coach]

Originally Posted by fotze

Thats exactly the stuff I used to say, exactly. In our parents day things certainly were different.

Both my mother and father each had a sibling die in their first couple years of life. Good times indeed. It was normal to have a certian percentage of kids die in their childhood. Too bad we couldn't go back to those times, society was so much better with death rates so much higher, wages lower, poverty higher. Cars sucked, food sucked, there was racism, women couldn't work. When kids got raped by their fathers, they 'sucked it up' (hopefully not literally)

In pretty much every way, shape, form and measurable way, the good old days sucked worse than now. I never understood the longing for the bad old days. Not only is it a supremely depressing way to go through life, its a lie.

and Mattyc wasn't ranting at you per se, you were just a launching point.

Haha fair enough. All those issues are mostly separate though. I'm just advocating allowing kids to be kids. Keeping them inside for fear of their safety is much more detrimental in the long run IMO. Your parents may have known people who died as children from injuries (aren't you old balls as well?) but is that being offset by the rampant obesity that only gets worse as they get older? At least falling off a roof is more diginfied than eating yourself to death.

[CaptainCrunch]

Both of my parents worked, and I would have to say that there were few dedicated house wives in our neighbourhoods.

So I don't buy that the whole both parents working excuse.

When we got up to get ready for school in the morning my folks were already out the door, we have to get up make breakfast for ourselves and go to school and there was always a chore note on the fridge.

My parents got home at 5 or 6, and we all helped out in making dinner so that we could have a good meal and we would talk about our day.

There were a ton of latch key kids in my neighbourhood.

I think that we were fairly normal for the time, my dad and myself had troubles later on not in how he raised me, but in the fact that we couldn't relate to each other. He grew up in a poor household where his dad ran off and his mom died of cancer early and he was raised by his two brothers and he never learned how to communicate in a father to son basis, or how to compromise.

But even with those issues, and even with a really harsh work schedule, my folks always made sure that we as kids were a huge priority.

They didn't use their work schedule as a reason, they decided to have kids and they decided that nothing was going to get int he way of their raising us crushing work schedule or not.

But my folks weren't flexible, they weren't there to be our best friend in the world, they certainly didn't negotiate with us kids, they set rules in place and gave us what I think was a great moral compass, and we learned a lot from them.

Me and my sisters didn't grow up to be kitten butchering serial killers, we all grew up to be relatively successful and educated and driven and that's with two parents that worked and at times scrapped and battled to take care of us.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I love how people without kids think their warped memories of being raised in the 1970s are in any way relevant to how parents actually have to raise their kids in 2012. Honestly guys, just stop. You sound ridiculous.

Warped its hardly warped, and if you look at the article if raising kids in 2012 by giving them a sedimentary lifestyle and using electronic devices to baby sit and raise your kids is how they do it in 2012, then the only thing that's going to be warped is these kids when they finally have to leave home at the age of 40.

[MarchHare]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I love how people without kids think their warped memories of being raised in the 1970s are in any way relevant to how parents actually have to raise their kids in 2012. Honestly guys, just stop. You sound ridiculous.

Do I have a warped memory of the 80s, or has the average temperature in the winter dropped so much since then that parents in 2012 have no choice but to drive their kids to the bus stop so they can wait in the warmth of a heated car rather than bundling up with a toque and mitts?

In 2012, is there a marauding band of predators prowling every suburban community waiting to snatch up any unsupervised child? I don't remember that from my childhood 20-30 years ago, but perhaps I also have a warped memory of that.

The only thing that's warped is the idea that child-raising is so much more demanding today and children are in so much more danger than they were 20+ years ago.

[Daradon]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I love how people without kids think their warped memories of being raised in the 1970s are in any way relevant to how parents actually have to raise their kids in 2012. Honestly guys, just stop. You sound ridiculous.

Please expand...

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

Do I have a warped memory of the 80s, or has the average temperature in the winter dropped so much since then that parents in 2012 have no choice but to drive their kids to the bus stop so they can wait in the warmth of a heated car rather than bundling up with a toque and mitts?

In 2012, is there a marauding band of predators prowling every suburban community waiting to snatch up any unsupervised child? I don't remember that from my childhood 20-30 years ago, but perhaps I also have a warped memory of that.

The only thing that's warped is the idea that child-raising is so much more demanding today and children are in so much more danger than they were 20+ years ago.

Actually when I was in grade 1, a man did try to abduct me while I was walking to a neighborhood playground in Calgary. I kicked him in the shins and ran off screaming.

(cool story bro)

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

Actually when I was in grade 1, a man did try to abduct me while I was walking to a neighborhood playground in Calgary. I kicked him in the shins and ran off screaming.

(cool story bro)

sorry about that

[Coach]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I love how people without kids think their warped memories of being raised in the 1970s are in any way relevant to how parents actually have to raise their kids in 2012. Honestly guys, just stop. You sound ridiculous.

Well I was raised in the 90's/00's and I find myself relating a lot more with a childhood like Captain Crunch than I do to people a few years younger than me.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

Do I have a warped memory of the 80s, or has the average temperature in the winter dropped so much since then that parents in 2012 have no choice but to drive their kids to the bus stop so they can wait in the warmth of a heated car rather than bundling up with a toque and mitts?

In 2012, is there a marauding band of predators prowling every suburban community waiting to snatch up any unsupervised child? I don't remember that from my childhood 20-30 years ago, but perhaps I also have a warped memory of that.

The only thing that's warped is the idea that child-raising is so much more demanding today and children are in so much more danger than they were 20+ years ago.

You are exaggerating the lengths parents are going to now to protect their kids, idealizing the years you grew up, and underestimating the care parents in the 80s gave their kids. So yes, you sound ridiculous and your memory of your childhood is warped.

You're seeing parents of the 80s through the eyes of a 10 year-old. You're seeing parents of 2012 through they eyes of (I'm guessing here) a 20-something dude. You think the world isn't dangerous, but that's because you don't know how stupid small kids can be. It isn't dangerous for you, but it is dangerous for them. They need lots of care and supervision.

[MarchHare]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

Actually when I was in grade 1, a man did try to abduct me while I was walking to a neighborhood playground in Calgary. I kicked him in the shins and ran off screaming.

(cool story bro)

Yeah, I'm not saying child predators don't exist, I'm saying the actual danger to children is severely over-estimated by parents and the risk today is no greater than it was decades ago. There hasn't been any significant increase in the number of child abductions, but you wouldn't know it based on the way most modern parents guard their children so closely. The thought of giving kids free-reign to play unsupervised and out-of-sight for hours around the entire community (like people of my generation and older did as children) is completely unfathomable to today's helicopter parents.

[Daradon]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

Actually when I was in grade 1, a man did try to abduct me while I was walking to a neighborhood playground in Calgary. I kicked him in the shins and ran off screaming.

(cool story bro)

But I think that is what Hare is getting at. 2012 is no more dangerous when it comes to abductions and sexual assault towards children than it was 25-40 years ago. In fact it's probably safer. Because more attention is made to it, more info is out there, and more vigilance and support is available.

It just seems so much worse because we know so much about it now.

I mean all those big scandals with priests and scout leaders... that all happened during our time. Those organizations are safer for kids now. Sure there is a new breed of internet predator, but as long as you educate your kid about that, it's not a huge concern. It's not like they are in positions of trust for these kids like the previous examples. We just hear so much about it it seems like an epidemic.

And this is something I DO know about.

To suggest that kids today are in more danger from the outside world than yesteryear is pure bullplop.

And I agree, sorry that that happened to you. Glad you had your wits and bravery about you at such a young age!

[goaliegirl]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I love how people without kids think their warped memories of being raised in the 1970s are in any way relevant to how parents actually have to raise their kids in 2012. Honestly guys, just stop. You sound ridiculous.

I have kids(6,10 and 12) and I don't raise them much different in regards to outside play as I was raised. My 6 year old daughter is currently at the park, which is about half a block away, I cant see her but I am not paranoid about her being there. I think there is very little difference in raising kids today compared to when I was growing up. The only thing I can think of is internet dangers, something which my kids while playing outside are going to have no issue with.

[MarchHare]

You are exaggerating the lengths parents are going to now to protect their kids, idealizing the years you grew up, and underestimating the care parents in the 80s gave their kids. So yes, you sound ridiculous and your memory of your childhood is warped.

You're seeing parents of the 80s through the eyes of a 10 year-old. You're seeing parents of 2012 through they eyes of (I'm guessing here) a 20-something dude. You think the world isn't dangerous, but that's because you don't know how stupid small kids can be. It isn't dangerous for you, but it is dangerous for them. They need lots of care and supervision.

I'm not exaggerating anything. I really was allowed to walk to kindergarten and bike to elementary school without adult supervision. I really did wait outside in the cold for the school bus, not inside a heated car with my mother. I really was allowed to play all over the neighbourhood, completely out of sight of my parents, for hours on end (with no cell phone, of course). I'm not misremembering these facts. These things really happened.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

Yeah, I'm not saying child predators don't exist, I'm saying the actual danger to children is severely over-estimated by parents and the risk today is no greater than it was decades ago. There hasn't been any significant increase in the number of child abductions, but you wouldn't know it based on the way most modern parents guard their children so closely. The thought of giving kids free-reign to play unsupervised and out-of-sight for hours around the entire community (like people of my generation and older did as children) is completely unfathomable to today's helicopter parents.

Yeah fair enough. I don't deny that, I actually agree somewhat, but you pick your spots. I also recklessly put myself in positions too, I walked home from school if my mom wasn't waiting outside the school for me... 1st week of school in kindergarten... my mom was not happy about that. So no need to be sorry about that, I don't know why you would be. I don't look back on it with any fear or anything, I don't think it scarred me in any way. I brushed it off my shoulder pretty easily without really giving it a second thought (maybe I should have?)

I think a lot of it has to do with accessibility to media. "Top story, breaking news on CNN that a child abductor is only a town away" or whatever. You are right that there was stuff then, but I also get why there are helicopter parents; I also get that parents are over-exhausted too. Is it a good reason? I don't know... I just don't think its fair to be judgemental. I'm mid-20's right now... in a decade, I could have kids, and I don't know where I would land? Hypothetically, my current girlfriend is a post-doc researcher and wants faculty position (i.e. professor)... she already puts in 80+ hrs a week. I'm about 50-60 hrs a week (ok 10-20hrs of that is CP)... I also have very little faith in society, so I could see myself being protective. On the other hand, both my girlfriend and I are climbers/alpinest/mountaineering/canyoneering and would love for our kid to be the next big rockstar climber... or coach a kids soccer team, that would be pretty awesome... ok this last paragraph really isn't relevent to anything.

[The Yen Man]

This thread has unsurprisingly degenerated to the typical "back in my day..." thread. I'm sure in 20 years, this generations toddlers will be ranting about the same thing about how kids in the future are such pansies compared to them. It's just how it goes.

Can kids go out to the bus stop at -30 degree weather like they used to? Sure, but why do it if you don't have to. Kids can also walk 2+ miles in the freezing cold to get to school. Did you parents make you do that back in the 80's?