Lending friends and family money

[DownhillGoat]

Originally Posted by fotze

Who are these people?

They are the 99%.

[Sylvanfan]

I hate lending money. I did loan my brother some last year, but that was so he could buy stock options in a company he worked for for 13% of what they were trading at on the day I sent him the money. He did pay me back with a nice bonus. But outside of immediate family, no way I'm giving anyone more than $50 on a loan. If a good friend of mine endured a hardship...maybe I'm compassionate enough to give out some help without the expectation of pay back. But lend money for a vacation, never.

Well if it's a vacation where I'm guaranteed exclusive broadcast rights to the footage, and I felt I could recover my initial investment by selling it on the Internet, maybe. But I'd have to have a lot of confidence in that person to think I could make that money in today's competitive Internet world of adult themed entertainment.

[Dion]

A couple of years ago my nephew came looking for $5,000 for his trip to India. He wanted to study at the American Institute of Indian Studies. I didn't have the money to lend him but my brother and his wife did. He set up a blog and gave the family unit pictures and updates of his trip and education. He lived with a family in India for 4 months and learned about a different culture. After his trip he offered to fly to my brothers place and spend the summer working it off. My brother and his wife said it wasn't necessary and to consider it an investment in his education.

[WhiteTiger]

Some of the best advice I ever got from my old man:

"Never lend out money you aren't ok with ever seeing again."

That said, the only time I've ever really loaned out money was to fly my best man in for my second wedding. He was going to drive, but it would have put a lot of miles on his old truck and he would have showed up the day of the wedding and had to leave early the next morning. I had some extra cash, and flew him in for the weekend, instead.

He'll probably pay it back, someday. But if he doesn't, it's a loan turned gift. And I'm OK with that.

[calgaryred]

I only lend to friends if it doesn't bother me, if I never get it back like CDs DVDs Books, but money I don't lend.

Family I always lend to even if they cant pay back I love my family, and don't look at it as a loan, they usually pay back, but they help me as well if I need something.

[1stLand]

Originally Posted by Dion

A couple of years ago my nephew came looking for $5,000 for his trip to India. He wanted to study at the American Institute of Indian Studies. I didn't have the money to lend him but my brother and his wife did. He set up a blog and gave the family unit pictures and updates of his trip and education. He lived with a family in India for 4 months and learned about a different culture. After his trip he offered to fly to my brothers place and spend the summer working it off. My brother and his wife said it wasn't necessary and to consider it an investment in his education.

Your brother and his wife sound like nice people.

Don't take offense by me saying this, but I think your nephew would have learned more working to pay off his debt, then he would have learned studying frivilous crap in India.

A lesson in responsibility and the value of money are lessons he could utilize for the rest of his life.

Galavanting off to India, because other 'hipsters' have gone down that path seems hardly worth the money in my opinion.

That is the problem with today's youth. They take up fruitless degrees and areas of studies that lead to debt and with no gain in practicable hire-able skills.

Then they end up camping out at Olympic Plaza in tents.

[Nufy]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

My sister wouldn't' even lend me money when I did need it, and I could pay her back! (I was changing money between international banks, needed to pay tuition, there was a 24 hr overlap and I had a deadline to pay tuition, and my sister said "too bad, take out a loan" even though I could pay her back 24 hrs later)

Your sister sounds like a B!tch...

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by Nufy

Your sister sounds like a B!tch...

I think she just doesn't like me very much

I ended up borrowing from a pool of 3 close friends who are broke as hell (5 people living in a studio... 3 of them live in that studio) and I paid them back 2 days later...

BTW Dion, is that the nephew that climbs? There is world class bouldering in India.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by 1stLand

Your brother and his wife sound like nice people.

Don't take offense by me saying this, but I think your nephew would have learned more working to pay off his debt, then he would have learned studying frivilous crap in India.

A lesson in responsibility and the value of money are lessons he could utilize for the rest of his life.

Galavanting off to India, because other 'hipsters' have gone down that path seems hardly worth the money in my opinion.

That is the problem with today's youth. They take up fruitless degrees and areas of studies that lead to debt and with no gain in practicable hire-able skills.

Then they end up camping out at Olympic Plaza in tents.

You know nothing about my nephew yet chose to slam him for his choices in life. I could tell you that he holds down a job and lives on his own and is very responsible with his money. Or that he has a university degree to go with his studies in India. You could have asked but you'd rather lump him in with the hipsters and those you think don't know how to handle their money.

The youth of today are not as bad as you make them out to be.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

I think she just doesn't like me very much

I ended up borrowing from a pool of 3 close friends who are broke as hell (5 people living in a studio... 3 of them live in that studio) and I paid them back 2 days later...

BTW Dion, is that the nephew that climbs? There is world class bouldering in India.

That is the one

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by Dion

That is the one

Did he climb when he was there? If he's still there, its called Hampi. Its one of the top 5 places in the world to boulder (Fountainbleu in France, Rocklands in South Africa, Hampi in India... then maybe Hueco Tanks in Texas and Bishop in California)

[Barnet Flame]

If the vacation is in Vegas, think of it as an investment.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

Did he climb when he was there? If he's still there, its called Hampi. Its one of the top 5 places in the world to boulder (Fountainbleu in France, Rocklands in South Africa, Hampi in India... then maybe Hueco Tanks in Texas and Bishop in California)

He didn't do any climbing when he was there.

[ricosuave]

Originally Posted by fotze

Are you being paid by itravel2000 dot com? That's i travel two thousand dot com.

1 8 6 6 W o w D e a l !

the guy is just trying to get away for less!


Seriously, tell the guy to fata himself. No way would I do that for a family member, let alone a friend.

[Kybosh]

Originally Posted by 1stLand

Your brother and his wife sound like nice people.

Don't take offense by me saying this, but I think your nephew would have learned more working to pay off his debt, then he would have learned studying frivilous crap in India.

A lesson in responsibility and the value of money are lessons he could utilize for the rest of his life.

Galavanting off to India, because other 'hipsters' have gone down that path seems hardly worth the money in my opinion.

That is the problem with today's youth. They take up fruitless degrees and areas of studies that lead to debt and with no gain in practicable hire-able skills.

Then they end up camping out at Olympic Plaza in tents.

Disagree 100%. It wasn't just $5000 invested in conventional education. Traveling and seeing the world provides some unique insight that can only be gained by traveling. When you travel abroad, especially alone, you learn a lot about yourself and gain perspective (maybe the most important lesson of all).

In everyday life or a business environment, I am much more interested in hearing about people's travels and experiences (good and bad) than about their degree or business achievements. Travel enriches people. If you are fortunate enough to travel, do it. Work hard, save money and do it.

This might sound different from my initial response in the thread, but I feel that Dion's nephew is a completely different situation than puckluck's friend.

[Dan02]

Originally Posted by Kybosh

Disagree 100%. It wasn't just $5000 invested in conventional education. Traveling and seeing the world provides some unique insight that can only be gained by traveling. When you travel abroad, especially alone, you learn a lot about yourself and gain perspective (maybe the most important lesson of all).

Speaking for myself, the vacations where i've learned the most have been the ones I went on solo and had to push myself in new directions.

[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by puckluck

So what is your guys policy on this?

Recently a friend asked to borrow money to go on a vacation he can't afford to go on. I'll usually always lend friends and family money as long as I think they are in a position to pay it back. This guy lives pay check to pay check and he is a good friend, but the money he's asking for is pretty significant(in the thousands).

The last time I let a friend borrow a significant amount of money it took him 2 years to pay me back and that was only after he recieved an insurance settlement. I think I learned not to lend money to people who really will not be able to pay it back.

He's pissed off that I'm not going to lend him money, but he wants money to go on a vacation that he can't afford to go on. I don't see how he is going to be in a position to pay me back anytime soon. If he needed money because he was gong to be evicted or to put food on the table I would lend him money in a heartbeat, but that's not the case.

I feel like I'm being a bad friend, but I also feel like I'm doing the right thing.

Get new friends.

Generally, its never a good policy to lend to family either.

Usually, you will never get the money back.

Remember, they're probably asking you for money because a bank won't give it to them OR they know they won't have to pay you back.

Otherwise, if you insist, then keep it on a business level and have them sign an agreement for it with consequences if they fail to pay within a certain period of time.

If you value friendship, you won't lend money to friends.

Cowperson

[dissentowner]

Now now, I am on your friends side, he deserves a nice vacation! Btw my good man, can I borrow $4000.00?

[puckluck]

Originally Posted by Cowperson

Get new friends.

Generally, its never a good policy to lend to family either.

Usually, you will never get the money back.

Remember, they're probably asking you for money because a bank won't give it to them OR they know they won't have to pay you back.

Otherwise, if you insist, then keep it on a business level and have them sign an agreement for it with consequences if they fail to pay within a certain period of time.

If you value friendship, you won't lend money to friends.

Cowperson

Get new friends because he is asking to borrow money? That seems a little extreme. He is still a great guy, but just very stupid with his money.

[4X4]

The thing I hate about lending money is that it comes back in useless little installments. If I lend $500, I want it back in one payment, not 10 payments of $50.