Stress

[I_H8_Crawford]

^ When you say you were doing everything that a b/f would do - did that include physical benefits? There's a world of difference b/t the two...

And, it may sound harsh and chauvenistic, but women don't like being treated like goddesses - don't put them up on some pedestal - make them work to get you - you have to grow a pair, stop trying to be friends with someone - when you meet a girl tell youself then "I'm going to fata this girl" and do it, or live with being the "good, sweet friend" and never get anything out of it in terms of relationships.

From what it sounds like you did all the shinguard like going to see shinguardty sappy movies with her and then you get nothing in return - wouldn't you rather put up with some of that shinguard, knowing you'll get some good action later that night? Friends -> lovers is not an easy transition and usually fails. fata this bitch, chalk it up to experience and move on... and don't try the whole Friends thing first!

[Prototype]

I've read all the responses, and I must say, those are all logical, good ideas. But I get the feeling that you don't want to let her go. Then don't. I've been in your shoes many a time. But instead of lingering, stalking, etc. I turned it around. Some of my best friends are girls I layed it out on the line with, and got rejected.

You can easily say, "you answered my question wrong, you must pay by me shunning you", or you can let them know how you feel, and that if it's not recipricated, then that's their perogitive, and move on. But if you don't want to close them out of your life, you don't have to.

I talk to the two "rejectors" every once and a while. I'm very close to them due to our history. It's kinda hard to talk to the boys about issues with my fiance cause I get the same answers as above. I think it's better to get a woman's point of view when it comes to women... the human rubex cube.

I'm not saying shunning them for the rest of your life is the worst choice. But if you've been friends since learning to tie your shoelaces, I'd consider the friendship still. I don't talk to a friend who was always there for me over a stupid arguement, and it eats away at me everytime I think about it.

Just a little food for thought.

SIDENOTE: I enjoy the CP filter when you get lines like "Nice Shoes, Wanna Fata?"

[Tron_fdc]

Captain Morgan was helping me last night. Rum puts me in a happy place. Where it was still bothering me as I was talking about it, but in humours fashion.

convo between two female friends of mine last night

You got drunk with 2 female friends last night, in your moment of vulnerability?

Opportunity..............................MISSED. What should have happened:

You: I'm just a hopeless romantic in search of a soulmate. Sometimes I wonder if this is a waste of time, or if there really is someone out there for everyone. I thought she was my soulmate.

Girls: Awwwwww that's sweet

You: I need a hug

Girls: (hug you)

You: Wanna make out?

*insert cheezy porn music*

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally posted by I_H8_Crawford@May 4 2005, 11:56 AM
^ When you say you were doing everything that a b/f would do - did that include physical benefits? There's a world of difference b/t the two...

And, it may sound harsh and chauvenistic, but women don't like being treated like goddesses - don't put them up on some pedestal - make them work to get you - you have to grow a pair, stop trying to be friends with someone - when you meet a girl tell youself then "I'm going to fata this girl" and do it, or live with being the "good, sweet friend" and never get anything out of it in terms of relationships.

From what it sounds like you did all the shinguard like going to see shinguardty sappy movies with her and then you get nothing in return - wouldn't you rather put up with some of that shinguard, knowing you'll get some good action later that night? Friends -> lovers is not an easy transition and usually fails. fata this bitch, chalk it up to experience and move on... and don't try the whole Friends thing first!

I know it's a hard transition to make from friend to boyfriend, however I'm a shy person by nature, I need to know who a person is, their interests, what they're like, etc before I think if I want to spend alot of time with them in a relationship.

I know people keep saying you can't treat a girl like a godess, or like a queen, because she doesn't want that. First of all I have trouble believing that. Secondly, I try and treat everyone the best I possibly can, if I like someone I'm not going to "hold back" and treat them like dirt, or less than the best. If I don't want to do my best for them, why should they want to spend their time with me? Two concepts I just don't buy into.

Basically, went from being "just friends" to me being doing everything a boyfriend would do,

but platonically and no commitment.

platonically means in a non-sexual, non-physical way.

When I first met the girl I never really thought about her "in that way". It was after she started paying more attention to me, wanting to go out for wings with me, touching me when she talked (ie: saying something like "You know what?" excitedly and grabbing my arm, walking down the sidewalk, tease me over something and give me a nudge to try and get me to fall into a snowbank).

The only time she met any of my friends was by coinsidence. Both of us had Christmas parties for our programs on the same day. We both happened to be at the same bar (odds of that happening are slim). No less than five people I was with told me ask her out, and that she was into me, flirting with me etc.

Did feelings develop? Yeah, but it's not like only I changed the dynamic of the friendship.



Frankly, I don't think it's that I was used like I was, and rejected.

I think it's the fact that I was used like I was, rejected, only to have some stranger get exactly what I wanted with little to no effort, and then her not having the decency to let me know.

Looking at former flames, whenever they had or got a boyfriend I was always happy for them, wanted them to be a good guy, treat them right etc. Ultimately I want her, and all girls I fall for to be happy. If that's not with me, then well it's not with me. But please don't disgaurd me like a used diaper when you do start going out with someone. Atleast tell me "hey I met guy" tell me that you like him, then my first impression is: hmmm sounds like a good guy. When I hear it in passing, and no one knows anything about the guy, I'm not gonna be sitting here thinking he's Prince Charming.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally posted by Tron_fdc@May 4 2005, 12:09 PM

You got drunk with 2 female friends last night, in your moment of vulnerability?

Opportunity..............................MISSED. What should have happened:

You: I'm just a hopeless romantic in search of a soulmate. Sometimes I wonder if this is a waste of time, or if there really is someone out there for everyone. I thought she was my soulmate.

Girls: Awwwwww that's sweet

You: I need a hug

Girls: (hug you)

You: Wanna make out?

*insert cheezy porn music*

well there was a pile of us out that night, because of the amount of people I know graduating from where I did my undergrad.

Both girls go out with two of my very best friends. I already lost one, I don't need to lose two more





Other notes: I don't plan to cut her off forever, but after I see her next, it'll probably be for a while. Atleast until I come to peace with the fact she's with whoever this guy is.

I'm really starting to think it's not knowing this guy, what he's like, who he is, that's p*ssing me off, in combination with the fact she didn't tell me.

She used me knowing my feelings for her. I'm fine with that, but knowing my feelings for her, she should have told me she met someone.







I also had a laugh when I read

I enjoy the CP filter when you get lines like "Nice Shoes, Wanna Fata?"

I typed it, but never re-read that line.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Remember the Animanics, when they had Elmira and Mr. Bonehead, do the good idea/bad idea segment?

Good Idea: Getting Drunk

Bad Idea: Getting Drunk with the girl you're after at a bar



Heading out in an hour for wings, booze with a large group of friends. "She" should be one of them, and the other guy should be there as well. Now if one or both don't show I won't be suprised.

By nature I don't get mad, or tell people off. I am no longer p*ssed off at her, looked at the situtation a million times, and found one scenerio when I can let her off the hook, lots of "ifs" have to have happened, but I guess it's possible.

Still gonna get beyond drunk (last time this bothered me this much I became famous in PEI, but that's another story).

So,

I thought since I'm doing ok with it we should take bets.

Or donate money to the site:

Who wants to pledge what I say to the girl?

Something like $100 if I tell her "Nice Shoes, Wanna Fata"
or $1,000,000 if I kick the other guy's ass then at the end say "Hasta La Vista, Baby"

B-)

[RougeUnderoos]

I don't remember (or know what Animanics are) but I do remember a commercial on SNL for "Bad Idea Jeans" and one guy says "and so I said to myself, when am I ever going to be in Haiti again"?

That was a bad idea. So is yours I think. I know from experience that I'd do something stupid.

[Gugstanley]

First off it doesn't sound like she is interested in you.
Don't go tonight you need to cancel.
She can't chase you if you are chasing her. Now she might want to chase you and if that is the case then who cares?
Don't call, email or do anything. If she gets a hold of you ask her opionion of you seeing a certain girl.
Your strategy obviously is not working. Please don't get on your knees and ask her why she wants another guy. Toughen up, watch a biker movie, do something that will put a rebelious thought in your head but stop begging her to like you. You are acting like an Oilers fan!!!!

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally posted by RougeUnderoos@May 4 2005, 11:18 PM
I don't remember (or know what Animanics are) but I do remember a commercial on SNL for "Bad Idea Jeans" and one guy says "and so I said to myself, when am I ever going to be in Haiti again"?

That was a bad idea. So is yours I think. I know from experience that I'd do something stupid.

I knew I was out of rubbers, but I said to myself hey, I'm only going to be in Haitia once.

Bad Idea


Yeah, we ripped out the walls and put in hard wood floors, I know the place is a rental, but we wanted to make it look nice

Well, he's an ex free-base addict, and he's trying to turn around, and he needs a place to stay for a couple of months.

Even though its over I'm going to tell carol about the affair

Then they look at these tall black guys on the basketball court.

You guys ready $50.00 no make it $100

great skit

[Savvy27]

You should sign up for this newsletter:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com

Its pretty interesting stuff and the guy answers questions that are similar to the situations you were in all the time.

Good luck with everything, personally I wouldn't confront her, I'd just start teasing her and stop acting like a wuss who needs her approval (no offense, I've been there) and meet some new women. If there's any chance for you two then she'll come chasing once you stop lavishing her with attention.

Tao of Steve quote "Women want sex as much as men, they just want it about 15 minutes later. So if you can hold out for 20 she'll be chasing you for five." I know that your not just after sex but the mistake that got you on the friend ladder in the first place was she felt like she already had you by the balls. Good luck man.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Guys (and gals) I just got in. Had about two pitchers of beer (for those that don't know me, I should be dead from that due to body/mass index).

I'm p*ssED at this girl. The ONE rationalization I had was tossed out the window when she and I were face to face, even dancing together on the dance floor, and didn't tell me there was another guy. After dropping off one of my friends tonight I said to him "fata the bitch" which is what I think should happen.

She (the girl I used to wish I had) is fighting with her boyfriend, I overheard her venting about him slamming her door or something. He's being a complete *******, and has her, yet here I am, greatest guy on Earth and she's loving him.

In my drunken state I might just treat her like garbage, like what the fata?

I thought I was ok, I was happy for the first time in months, and now this?

fata HER!! Why won't she even tell me she's met someone?

When I saw her tonight, I thought "you guys are all wrong, I'im so happy right now" Then she left without telling me about the guy, and a "ok bye" and a dash for the door.

Is it wrong that I'm p*ssed off? What did I do to deserve this?

[KevanGuy]

Wow man. I dont mean to be too insensitive here but you need to relax. There are plenty of girls out there. And I think you will find that there are plenty of girls out there that will act exactly like her. That's life man. Get over it and move on.

This type of stuff happens all the time. People less qualified will get jobs you don't. Some unemployed dude's dad will by him a car while you walk to work. Poor people will win the lottery and p*ss it away. Someone who smokes and drinks for 90 years will die a peaceful death.

Life isn't fair. Grab a helmet.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

her best friend just told me they first went on a date on Easter. She's yet to tell me, after spending HOURS together tonight.

Kevan Guy, you're not insensitive. You're telling me the truth. I'm a realist, the truth isn't insentivite, it's just that the truth.

But having her best friend agree with ME, is a p*ss off, I have no idea where she's coming from and neither does she (the best friend).

I've been treated like less than shinguard.

I didn't confront her over it tonight, I might give her a call tomorrow. Depends how I feel in the morning.

p*ssED right now.

But Keven Guy, I'll never be p*ssed at the truth, thank man

[Pagal4321]

Dude, sounds like you had a rough night. But I think you should get some sleep, see how you feel in the morning.

[West Karma]

Originally posted by Maritime Q-Scout+May 3 2005, 03:05 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Maritime Q-Scout @ May 3 2005, 03:05 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

done, following quote kinda touches on the subject

<!--QuoteBegin-Cheese@May 3 2005, 11:40 AM
sex is good....

incredibly long story short:

Girl I like rejects me after months of hanging out, flirting, building up the courage to ask out etc.

No biggie, not the first time won't be the last. Heartbroke yes, but I can handle it.

Girl leaves school for the summer, immediately meets NEW guy (not like an old friend) and starts dating.

I know it's a new guy as her best friend (who grew up with her) has no clue who this guy is.

I find out through the grapevine, and am left thinking, who the hell is this? Less than two weeks? WTF?

Also of note, she's told me stuff like "you're my knight in shining armour" and "I don't know how I would have gotten through the school year without you" "you're my favourite friend, thanks for everything" through helping her, being with her, easing stress etc.

I feel like I've been kicked in the nads.[/b][/quote]
A girl in the Maritimes saying "NO" to sex???? C'mon, it's not April Fools is it?

[Cheese]

Originally posted by Maritime Q-Scout@May 5 2005, 03:02 AM
her best friend just told me they first went on a date on Easter. She's yet to tell me, after spending HOURS together tonight.

Kevan Guy, you're not insensitive. You're telling me the truth. I'm a realist, the truth isn't insentivite, it's just that the truth.

But having her best friend agree with ME, is a p*ss off, I have no idea where she's coming from and neither does she (the best friend).

I've been treated like less than shinguard.

I didn't confront her over it tonight, I might give her a call tomorrow. Depends how I feel in the morning.

p*ssED right now.

But Keven Guy, I'll never be p*ssed at the truth, thank man

well maybe its just reality dude...the guy has a big whopper and she loves Burgers.

[Gugstanley]

She isn't obligated to tell you anything. You need to change, do a 180 and go the other direction. Your only chance is to disappear, become hard to find. Her idea of your relationship and yours are way off.

Bottom line is your strategy did not work, isn't working and only has you positioned as the bench warmer. You sound like you are still really young anyway. Don't tie yourself down to one woman now. Get out and experience life. When you are ready to settle down it will just happen you can't force it.

When does the CP dating help section of the board go live? This thread has cracked me up.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally posted by Pagal4321+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Pagal4321)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Dude, sounds like you had a rough night. But I think you should get some sleep, see how you feel in the morning.[/b]

I had two pitchers of beer, I had a great night for the most part. Half the people that I have on MSN that were there have nics like "Jonny take a bow" "Jon now that's a performance"

Originally posted by berkshire9+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (berkshire9)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> A girl in the Maritimes saying "NO" to sex???? C'mon, it's not April Fools is it?[/b]

A girl from Glace Bay no less, almost as bad as a girl from New Wateford turning it down (funny because I'm probably the only person here that'll get that)

Originally posted by cheese
well maybe its just reality dude...the guy has a big whopper and she loves Burgers.

says the topping for burgers that's quite possible, but you'd have to have went to both BK and Wendy's to know what the burgers are like. You can't say you like a Whopper better than a Classic Single, when you've never had the Classic.

Originally posted by Gugstanley
She isn't obligated to tell you anything.

Lead me on for months, and she's not obligated to tell me? I must respectfully disagree. You don't lead someone one for MONTHS like she did.

<!--QuoteBegin-Gugstanley@
Bottom line is your strategy did not work[/quote]

yeah I know but I think I still deserve some respect


<!--QuoteBegin-Gugstanley
You sound like you are still really young anyway[/quote]

yeah, I'm no old foggey. But just because I'm young doesn't mean I should be treated like I'm less than dirt. Young people have feelings too :P

[JiriHrdina]

^^^She may not have known she was leading you on dude. Women define their relationships different then men. They say/do things that appear to have romantic intentions but it is just in reality friendly affection. A blurry line yes - but a line none the less. From what you have said she had no obligation to tell you anything - though it woudl've been a helluva lot nicer if she had. But she chose not too which ultimately is her choice.

I feel bad for you that you are going through this but try not to turn into "bitter guy". Move on, stop hanging around with her (and don't talk to her friends about her either) and things will start to seem better soon enough.

And feel free to blame the NHLPA for this. Clearly if the playoffs were on right now you'd have those to focus on instead of this girl. Stupid players.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

you're right I shouldn't be bitter, but even as one of her best friends, she should have atleast mentioned this guy, no?

I know if I go out with someone, not telling my best friends about it for 2 months just wouldn't happen. Even if you believe there's no obligation to tell me because of our relationship or lackthereof, there's an obligation to tell me due to our friendship, if not repect for me, respect for the boyfriend

Problem with not talking about it with her friends, is well Cape Breton's a small place, her friends are my friends. If they want to tell her I'm p*ssed or what I said I'm ok with that.